Post: #1

After getting $120 million in funding from Google, a company called Juicero put out an advanced $400 juicer that basically just squeezes out pre-made juice from a plastic bag. It won't work unless it is connected to wifi and you log in via the special smartphone app.



Each juice packet is $5-7. Apparently the intelligent juicer knows exactly how hard to squeeze depending on the juice type.



The marketing claims that it will "change your life." Perhaps by giving you an extra dose of estrogens from the plastic packaging?



A Youtuber called it the worst juicer ever created:



I think we've reached a limit to what expensive product that stupid rich people will buy.

Post: #2

And look who funded (i.e. wasted money on) it. ( via Zerohedge: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-04-20...us-economy )

Quote:Finally, and perhaps most concerning, look at a couple of the entities that helped fund Juciero to the tune of $120 million: Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and Alphabet Inc. (the parent company of Google).

Post: #3

I had this girl come to my door the other day, trying to sell me on some sort of "Internet of Things" BS for my house. I feel bad for these kids, since I used to do door to door and I know it's a rough go, but I've never seen one run off as fast as she did when I reacted with horror to the product she was selling.

In what possible world do you need to control any of this garbage from your cell phone? Your fridge's ice cube dispenser? The garage door? Any of this nonsense? The poor thing didn't even seem to understand that it was all through the Internet, and easily hackable. "No, see, it's on your cell phone!" she said.

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for things like tracking beacons, security alerts, or even some sort of system to warn you about - I dunno - pipes bursting at your cabin or something. But a juicer that needs wifi? This is beyond idiotic.

Post: #4

The product I have dreamed of.

Post: #5

I consider stuff like this a result of too many Marketing degrees walking around and not enough actual innovators.

Post: #6

There has always been idiocy like this. It's just funny to see the Millennials' version of it.

Post: #7

Why won't people pay me millions of dollars for my stupid ideas?

Check this: coffee chain called Kufi's Coffee. The gimmick is that it's cold brew iced coffee except its brewed in a large old fashioned bathtub that's being bathed in by an especially large African gentleman. Liberals can pay $10 a cup to drink a black guy's bathwater, which based on my understanding of liberal psychology they would happily do.

Post: #8

Pet Rock anyone? Anyone?!?

Post: #9

Old story, it's been out for about two months.

Here's why this type of thing exists. Silicon Valley is much less about "innovation" than it used to be. What is going on there closely mimics the real estate craze in 2007: a LOT of this activity only exists to attract venture capital funding, who in turn will add some more credibility and polish up that turd so it can be flipped to a sucker somewhere else and profit both the founder and VC a nice payday.

The sheer number of "startups" that do absolutely nothing measurable is beyond belief, as is the valuations these companies get. I'm not sure whether I despise the VC's flipping these turds like shit pancakes or the idiots who are willing to pay for these jokes of companies more.

Post: #10

How much you want to bet that the reason Google poured $120 million in it is because the juicer has a built in mic or camera to spy on you. Once they have all of your private moments, they then deliver you ads based on whatever you say.

There has to be a marketing or spying angle to this. Otherwise, the guys that run Google really are out of touch with reality.

Post: #11

You guys must be right, I want to believe it must be either a spy thingy or just something just to get VC money from, that would at least mean it has some kind of purpose to it because this product is so idiotic it's hard to understand how it came to light and how Google poured $120 mil on this piece of garbage. Even without all the retarded multiple steps you have to take just to turn the stupid thing on it's completely useless, you could simply buy the juice packs and squeeze it yourself like in the video, or even make a bigger opening and simply pour it into a glass, like a million other juices in the market. It's not even aesthetically pleasing, it looks like it came straight from the 70s.

Post: #12

Funniest thing was when some news site reviewed it and discovered you don't even need the juicer, you can just squeeze the bag with your hands

Post: #13

I think you guys are missing the point of this. It's not targeted at individuals to have lying around their house. See video #3 in the OP- it's designed for upscale businesses: hotels, restaurants, conferences, etc. which are all about impressing guests with pointless bullshit. If you run a fancy resort that offers complementary breakfast, a gimmick like this is memorable and helps set you apart. I can definitely see this thing gaining traction in the high-end hospitality space.

Post: #14

Quote:There has always been idiocy like this. It's just funny to see the Millennials' version of it.

Yup, just look up some of the crazy (and dangerous) inventions from when X-Rays were trendy.

This happens with every technology that captures the public mind.

Post: #15

Get a list of the attendees of that failed music festival. Send out mailers for the juicer =====> PROFIT!

Post: #16

You pay $400 hundred bucks buying a "juicer". Here is what you receive:
1. A pack of pre-juiced products.
2. A "press" which oozes out pre-juiced products into a cup.
3. Controllable via Wifi and the Internet of Things.

I bet the founder of Juicero is making a killing off of the stylish SJW who wants to be a part of the "in" thing.

Reminds me of this:

Post: #17

Jim Carrey and David Alan Grier back in the early 90's juicing with no need of wifi.

Post: #18

(05-24-2017 07:38 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  You guys must be right, I want to believe it must be either a spy thingy or just something just to get VC money from, that would at least mean it has some kind of purpose to it because this product is so idiotic it's hard to understand how it came to light and how Google poured $120 mil on this piece of garbage. Even without all the retarded multiple steps you have to take just to turn the stupid thing on it's completely useless, you could simply buy the juice packs and squeeze it yourself like in the video, or even make a bigger opening and simply pour it into a glass, like a million other juices in the market. It's not even aesthetically pleasing, it looks like it came straight from the 70s.

At this point, Alphabet/Google probably greenlights everything that gets more of their tentacles into more homes. At the very least, it's good camouflage for the the stuff that really is sinister.

Post: #19

(05-24-2017 09:18 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:There has always been idiocy like this. It's just funny to see the Millennials' version of it.

Yup, just look up some of the crazy (and dangerous) inventions from when X-Rays were trendy.

This happens with every technology that captures the public mind.

My grandpa had his acne "treated" by having his face blasted with xrays when he was younger. Sometime after, he had to have the majority of his teeth removed.

Post: #20

Ok I still don't get it. It literally just squeezes out juice that has already been squeezed? So it's basically a bottle of juice you can buy at any market?

Post: #21

(05-25-2017 02:02 AM)I DIDNT KILL MY WIFE Wrote:  Ok I still don't get it. It literally just squeezes out juice that has already been squeezed? So it's basically a bottle of juice you can buy at any market?

Can the bottle of juice be controlled by your smartphone?

Ya, I didn't think so.

This is a well-thought out, much needed addition to our digital world.

Post: #22

*Crisp exits a time machine to the year 1927*

Newspaper boy on the corner: "Gee whilickers, are you from the future or something mister?"

Crisp: "Yes lad, I come from the year 2017."

Newspaper boy: " WOW 2017! I bet you must love cruising around town with flappers in your flying car."

Crisp: "Well, flappers are still around, although we have some different terms for them these days. Alas, flying cars are not yet a reality. However, there is this company Google. Google invested 120 million dollars into this contraption that can squeeze already pre-squeezed juice from a bag into your glass. So we got that going for us."

Newspaper boy: "......"

Post: #23

(05-25-2017 03:53 AM)Crisp Wrote:  *Crisp exits a time machine to the year 1927*

Newspaper boy on the corner: "Gee whilickers, are you from the future or something mister?"

Crisp: "Yes lad, I come from the year 2017."

Newspaper boy: " WOW 2017! I bet you must love cruising around town with flappers in your flying car."

Crisp: "Well, flappers are still around, although we have some different terms for them these days. Alas, flying cars are not yet a reality. However, there is this company Google. Google invested 120 million dollars into this contraption that can squeeze already pre-squeezed juice from a bag into your glass. So we got that going for us."

Newspaper boy: "......"

And a guy cut off his junk to win woman of the year and everyone thought it was wonderful.

Post: #24

In the first video it said that the bags contain cut up fruits and vegetables, so I don't think it's actually a packet of pre-squeezed juice.

Post: #25

(05-24-2017 09:18 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Quote:There has always been idiocy like this. It's just funny to see the Millennials' version of it.

Yup, just look up some of the crazy (and dangerous) inventions from when X-Rays were trendy.

This happens with every technology that captures the public mind.