Post: #26

On the subject of big snakes I wonder how big the monsters of the Amazon were hundreds or thousands of years ago before mass destruction and human colonisation took place.

Some stories of old English explorers tell tales of massive snakes that looked at full grown men and saw them as meals. A shame they went extinct.

Post: #27

Post: #28

(03-29-2017 10:09 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  Some stories of old English explorers tell tales of massive snakes that looked at full grown men and saw them as meals. A shame they went extinct.

Gigantic, man eating snakes?
Yeah, I can't believe I missed out on that...

Reminds me of how sad I am while I'm swimming in the ocean, knowing that Megalodon is extinct.
Life's unfair man!

Post: #29

(03-28-2017 04:20 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  If MiscBrah volunteered to get wrapped, I'd put money on him.

TravelerKai, with your experience in combat sports and martial arts, I think you would stand a better chance against a 7 metre long python than most. I think we should organise a massive RVF meetup, put you in a massive pit with the snake, drink beer, smoke cigars and take bets on it as you fight to the death with the snake. Sort of like a modern day Roman gladiator fight, except without weapons, and a snake instead of a human as an opponent.

Snake to asphyxiate Travelerkai and eat him - 11/10
TravelerKai to choke out snake - 5/1
TravekerKai to gouge out snakes eyes rendering it blind - 10/10
Snake to render TravelerKai immobile in under ten minutes - 8/1


In other snake related news, a thirsty King Cobra entered an Indian village in search of water due to an ongoing drought in the region, one man allowed the King Cobra to drink from his bottle of water:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...water.html

Quote:The King Cobra normally avoids confrontations with humans but desperate times call for desperate measures.

This deadly snake was so thirsty during a drought that it broke into an Indian village in a frantic search for water.

Dramatic footage shows the kind-hearted villagers looking after their local wildlife.

One man can be seen pouring a bottle of water over the snake's head as it greedily laps the liquid.

The man, knowing that the situation could turn nasty at any second, holds a snake catcher so he can grab the serpent in case things kicks off.

He is assisted by his friend who holds the cobra's tail to prevent it launching a vicious attack.

The 12ft cobra was rescued from a village in Kaiga township. Some parts of southern India have been hit by drought, making water scarce.

Wildlife officials say the drought has severely affected wild animals in the region.

So when the team of rescue workers found the cobra, the first thing they did was to offer it water.

The thirsty cobra can be seen gulping down water from the bottle. The brave rescuer also poured water over the snake's head in an attempt to cool it down.

The snake was later taken to an animal care facility.

Post: #30

What is it with Indians and cobras?

Post: #31

Post: #32

(03-29-2017 01:03 PM)MOVSM Wrote:  What is it with Indians and cobras?

Forget taking on a snake. I would be impressed if a forum member was the first person who tried to board a plane with his service cobra.

Post: #33

(03-29-2017 01:35 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

(03-29-2017 01:03 PM)MOVSM Wrote:  What is it with Indians and cobras?

Forget taking on a snake. I would be impressed if a forum member was the first person who tried to board a plane with his service cobra.

What does a Service Cobra even do? Bite bitches that give LMR?

Post: #34

I have actually tried looking for King Cobras in Hunan for years, but as of today, I have not only not seen one, but I have not met a rural farmer that has seen one either matching the description of one. When I explain the size, color, and that hood, they look at me weird, like a snake matching that description is scary as fuck and would make them run. Wikipedia and other Western encyclopedia sources say they have range there, but I cannot find one.

They also have their own unique names for snakes there that is hard to translate.

My racist ass theory is that they probably ate them all probably 1000+ years ago. If someone wants to lump me in with the RVF racists clique, fine. I'm not budging from that assessment.

Post: #35

I half expected this to be about the poor bastards ex wife and him in divorce court.

Post: #36

(03-29-2017 02:00 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

(03-29-2017 01:35 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

(03-29-2017 01:03 PM)MOVSM Wrote:  What is it with Indians and cobras?

Forget taking on a snake. I would be impressed if a forum member was the first person who tried to board a plane with his service cobra.

What does a Service Cobra even do? Bite bitches that give LMR?

What do a lot of these service animals do?

http://www.oddee.com/item_99582.aspx

Cuddle your iguana to lower stress?



Get disease from your rat?



Watch your horned toad squirt blood from its eyes?





Eat?

Post: #37

You gotta be fucking kidding me. An emotional support Alpaca? They do realize those fuckers bite and spit?



A gay SJW pig holding a pig. How fitting.



This fucker should be cargo. He isn't even a mammal for crying out loud.

Post: #38

^

This thread really delivers

Post: #39

Post: #40

Do any of you remember when those Brazilian construction workers claimed to have found a 10 metre long Anaconda in a construction site they were working on last year? The girth of the snakes body was a metre.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...-site.html

Quote:A giant snake measuring 33-feet long has been discovered on a building site in northern Brazil.

The enormous reptile weighing 400kg was found by construction workers following an explosion in a cave in Altamira, Pará.

Footage filmed by one of the workers shows the snake's gigantic body, which measures one metre in diameter.

A video shows the anaconda was chained to a crane and later lifted up to reveal its yellow spotted belly.

Many users left comments criticising the workers' for chaining and apparently killing the snake instead of leaving it in its natural habitat.

However, it remains unclear whether they killed the snake or not.

Post: #41

(03-29-2017 01:03 PM)MOVSM Wrote:  What is it with Indians and cobras?

Not sure how you found that video of me.

Cobras give me strength.

I don't carry one because I am one...

Post: #42

Cobra's actual day job. Counting deadly snakes.

Post: #43

@Poker

Nice find. I remember years ago that scientists and Anaconda experts kept making the claim that anacondas do not exceed 20ft long. In fact, if I recall correctly there is a reward for Anacondas longer than that.

A 30 ft one is a man eater. Anacondas have the most girth and can swallow deer. One at 30ft could swallow even a big man I bet.

Post: #44

(03-30-2017 08:29 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Cobra's actual day job. Counting deadly snakes.

He's an accountant or a finance guy right? Counting snakes? Sounds about right.

Post: #45

^

Love you, Cobra.

Post: #46

(03-30-2017 08:32 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  @Poker

Nice find. I remember years ago that scientists and Anaconda experts kept making the claim that anacondas do not exceed 20ft long. In fact, if I recall correctly there is a reward for Anacondas longer than that.

A 30 ft one is a man eater. Anacondas have the most girth and can swallow deer. One at 30ft could swallow even a big man I bet.

Yeah it's strange. There have been claims going back to the colonial period of giant Anacondas that well exceed the upper limits that modern day scientists believe that they grow up to. Apparently the largest 'recorded' living snake lives in captivity in the US.

The thing with Anacondas is that they swim underwater as well as venturing on land, not a pleasant thought. To think, I could be in the Amazon taking a piss in the river and a much smaller snake could be lurking beneath.

Post: #47

(03-30-2017 08:16 AM)Poker Wrote:  Do any of you remember when those Brazilian construction workers claimed to have found a 10 metre long Anaconda in a construction site they were working on last year? The girth of the snakes body was a metre.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...-site.html

Quote:A giant snake measuring 33-feet long has been discovered on a building site in northern Brazil.

The enormous reptile weighing 400kg was found by construction workers following an explosion in a cave in Altamira, Pará.

Footage filmed by one of the workers shows the snake's gigantic body, which measures one metre in diameter.

A video shows the anaconda was chained to a crane and later lifted up to reveal its yellow spotted belly.

Many users left comments criticising the workers' for chaining and apparently killing the snake instead of leaving it in its natural habitat.

However, it remains unclear whether they killed the snake or not.

How did you guys find a picture of my dick?

That was supposed to be private. Never trust Brazilian bitches.

Post: #48

(03-29-2017 11:49 AM)Belgrano Wrote:  Gigantic, man eating snakes?
Yeah, I can't believe I missed out on that...

Reminds me of how sad I am while I'm swimming in the ocean, knowing that Megalodon is extinct.
Life's unfair man!

Instead we have man eating land whales.

(03-29-2017 01:35 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  Forget taking on a snake. I would be impressed if a forum member was the first person who tried to board a plane with his service cobra.

Did somebody say snakes on a plane?

Post: #49

Quote:Footage filmed by one of the workers shows the snake's gigantic body, which measures one metre in diameter.

They either don't know what meter or diameter mean.

A meter would be closer to the size of the tires in the background, bigger than the snake in Conan. Not to mention, a snake 10m long, and 1m tall would just look weird and not be able to slither very well...

When I lived in Indo for ~2.5 years I encountered big snakes twice. Once we were driving and came across one sprawled fully across a one lane road where sometimes I'd go for walks in the morning alone, and the second was actually in a mid sized city, 3 youths were side by side carrying an almost dead 10 foot python down the shoulder of the road.

Post: #50

(03-28-2017 03:36 PM)Snowflake Wrote:  Any of you guys reckon you could go toe-to-toe with a python that size?

Yes - easily. Nature has given me a highly efficient brain contrary to the rest of the animals out there. So that snake would have to get me fast while I cannot reach for my knife - best 2 knives that I would carry around when entering a jungle.

Mano a mano is not the best way to go for humans. We are weaker than so many animals out there if we are unarmed.