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How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
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Sardino Offline
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How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Its no secret that if a man gets married in the Western world he is putting his livelihood at the mercy of his wife and the court system, but what if he got married somewhere else where the laws aren't as hostile towards men? Would that marriage be recognized elsewhere? If he gets divorced while living in the US but was married in the Marshall Islands which country's laws would the divorce be subject to?

I don't want this thread to turn into an argument over the merits of getting married, we already know its a bad idea. But if someone were to get married how could they do it while minimizing their risk?
08-25-2011 07:29 AM
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Pledge Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Or you could just sign a prenup or accomplish a separate property agreement (re-accomplishing it every year to make it more iron-clad) and then it's not an issue.

Do you even have assets that warrant protection?

Your attorney will also suggest (if he's worth anything) that in the case of impending divorce that you offshore all of your assets and fail to turn over any information to your spouse (or her attorney) of where those assets are being kept. This works so long as you are primarily liquid.
(This post was last modified: 08-25-2011 09:38 AM by Pledge.)
08-25-2011 09:36 AM
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Parlay44 Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
We touched on this on another thread...

Pre-nups and the whores we love

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08-25-2011 10:10 AM
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Samseau Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 09:36 AM)Pledge Wrote:  Or you could just sign a prenup or accomplish a separate property agreement (re-accomplishing it every year to make it more iron-clad) and then it's not an issue.

Do you even have assets that warrant protection?

Your attorney will also suggest (if he's worth anything) that in the case of impending divorce that you offshore all of your assets and fail to turn over any information to your spouse (or her attorney) of where those assets are being kept. This works so long as you are primarily liquid.

Pre-nups won't do shit for child-divorce or most long-term alimony laws (like 10 year marriages... pre-nups mean shit).

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08-25-2011 11:04 AM
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Pledge Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 11:04 AM)Samseau Wrote:  
(08-25-2011 09:36 AM)Pledge Wrote:  Or you could just sign a prenup or accomplish a separate property agreement (re-accomplishing it every year to make it more iron-clad) and then it's not an issue.

Do you even have assets that warrant protection?

Your attorney will also suggest (if he's worth anything) that in the case of impending divorce that you offshore all of your assets and fail to turn over any information to your spouse (or her attorney) of where those assets are being kept. This works so long as you are primarily liquid.

Pre-nups won't do shit for child-divorce or most long-term alimony laws (like 10 year marriages... pre-nups mean shit).

Very little can protect you from alimony and literally nothing can protect you from child support so that's pretty irrelevant. Don't get married if you can't face that possibility. The only other method is to form an LLC/Corporation and limit your personal income but good luck getting most companies to pay an LLC instead of you directly.
08-25-2011 11:47 AM
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jariel Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Better idea: don't get married.
08-25-2011 10:28 PM
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Nonpareil Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 10:28 PM)jariel Wrote:  Better idea: don't get married.

And if you are dumb enough to get married, don't get apathetic; pay attention to shit.

If I ever get married (big IF at this point but possible still), and I notice the small things; wifey goes out on unconventional nights, she has a new circle of friends, I get a call with a private number and a hangup, she's turning down sex more and more, and if I get it her sex-noises are different, this is when I start to have a PI tailing her.

If he finds out there's something else, I lawyer up and blindside her like a semi.
08-26-2011 12:00 AM
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Samseau Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 11:47 AM)Pledge Wrote:  
(08-25-2011 11:04 AM)Samseau Wrote:  
(08-25-2011 09:36 AM)Pledge Wrote:  Or you could just sign a prenup or accomplish a separate property agreement (re-accomplishing it every year to make it more iron-clad) and then it's not an issue.

Do you even have assets that warrant protection?

Your attorney will also suggest (if he's worth anything) that in the case of impending divorce that you offshore all of your assets and fail to turn over any information to your spouse (or her attorney) of where those assets are being kept. This works so long as you are primarily liquid.

Pre-nups won't do shit for child-divorce or most long-term alimony laws (like 10 year marriages... pre-nups mean shit).

Very little can protect you from alimony and literally nothing can protect you from child support so that's pretty irrelevant. Don't get married if you can't face that possibility. The only other method is to form an LLC/Corporation and limit your personal income but good luck getting most companies to pay an LLC instead of you directly.


Or, do what the original poster asked, and get married in another country with little or no child support laws.

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08-26-2011 10:17 AM
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MikeCF Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Marry a rich broad.
08-26-2011 01:06 PM
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oldnemesis Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-26-2011 10:17 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Or, do what the original poster asked, and get married in another country with little or no child support laws.

I don't know any such country. But again it doesn't matter as if you get divorced in the US, the divorce will be subject to US law.
08-27-2011 01:07 AM
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oldnemesis Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 07:29 AM)Sardino Wrote:  Its no secret that if a man gets married in the Western world he is putting his livelihood at the mercy of his wife and the court system, but what if he got married somewhere else where the laws aren't as hostile towards men?

The basic of the marriage laws in terms that it creates the partnership which shares the wealth accumulated during the marriage, and this wealth in case of divorce would be distributed equally, seems to be the same pretty much everywhere; I only know it is different in Islamic countries. Marry the equal, and you won't have to worry the court system.

BTW, 90% of all divorces are settled out of court, so apparently most people are not really screwed by the court system at all.

Quote:Would that marriage be recognized elsewhere?

Unless you stay in the country you got married in, it doesn't really matter which laws you've got married under. The marriage is either recognized or not (this also depends on purpose; for example, the US government may recognize certain marriages as valid in general, but not valid for immigration purpose), and it depends what is your recognition based upon.

Quote:If he gets divorced while living in the US but was married in the Marshall Islands which country's laws would the divorce be subject to?

The divorce will be subject to US laws. It doesn't matter where you got married, as long as the court recognizes that you're actually married. For example, if you got married in a Russian church, you're NOT considered legally married, so the court will not proceed with the divorce.

However if one spouse left the US, and got the divorce somewhere else, this creates some interesting situation. The US court system may or may not recognize this divorce (the court may reject the divorce terms as unfair). At the same time the court may have no jurisdiction over the ex-husband who got legally divorced in a different country, so if you stay there and never get back, there is little to nothing the US can do against you.

I suggest you read Divorces obtained by U.S. couples in a different country or jurisdiction part.
(This post was last modified: 08-27-2011 01:20 AM by oldnemesis.)
08-27-2011 01:10 AM
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oldnemesis Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-25-2011 11:47 AM)Pledge Wrote:  The only other method is to form an LLC/Corporation and limit your personal income but good luck getting most companies to pay an LLC instead of you directly.

LLC ans one of corps (S-Corp?) does nothing to limit your personal income as they pass it through. Only C-corp (if I remember it correctly) allows you to stock up the income.
08-27-2011 01:16 AM
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lurker Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(08-27-2011 01:16 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  LLC ans one of corps (S-Corp?) does nothing to limit your personal income as they pass it through. Only C-corp (if I remember it correctly) allows you to stock up the income.

You can probably recontribute LLC or S-Corp passthrough revenues as capital account contributions to keep them in the entity fairly easily, and you can certainly monkey with the org's expenses to artificially lower income. That said, the answer to "how do you avoid getting screwed in [ANYTHING]" is ALWAYS "talk to a good lawyer in the industry before you do anything."

In the marriage case, the best thing is probably to keep all your assets in family trusts and maintain separate LLC holding protection for each individual real estate purchase or large asset item you own. That is, if you have three houses, you have three manager-managed LLCs which elect you manager, and the trust is the only member of the LLCs.

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01-12-2013 04:53 PM
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alphascout Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
...,
(This post was last modified: 02-12-2016 04:19 PM by alphascout.)
01-12-2013 05:18 PM
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BurnFirst Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Can anyone give any reasons why they would consider getting married? I can't really think of any.
01-12-2013 05:35 PM
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lurker Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(01-12-2013 05:18 PM)alphascout Wrote:  I heard that if you initiate the divorce first in the country of the spouse (woman), she is barred from divorcing you in the US. This is because under conflict of law rules, you can never have the exact same case going on in 2 places at once for the same issue.

It would be nice if we could get some solid info on this. I would love to start an international family one day and stay 50% of the time overseas, and just have my kids go to the top international schools in the said country and the wife not be given a very strong economic incentive to divorce/take half my stuff/abandon our children.

That would make sense. It's been a while since I took a conflict of laws/jdx class, but I seem to remember a case dealing with a Spanish couple with property in New York that had an acrimonious split and those exact conflict provisions.
01-13-2013 04:10 AM
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ElBorrachoInfamoso Away
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
1. Choose wisely
2. Get a solid prenup
3. Get married in the right jurisdiction

People put too much emphasis on the horror stories of divorce and alimony. If you really want to get married and you follow these rules, you will be fine. A man takes risks to get what he wants, and this is one of those risks you'll have to take.

1. Is 90% of it . Choose the right girl and the law won't make a big difference. The problem is that the vast majority of girls are not right.

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01-13-2013 06:46 AM
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UrbanNerd Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
Wow....been a bunch of marriage-type threads lately. Where is the outrage?.....(laughs)
01-13-2013 09:29 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
oldnemesis Wrote:BTW, 90% of all divorces are settled out of court, so apparently most people are not really screwed by the court system at all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_of_the_law

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01-13-2013 09:56 AM
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Wayout Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
One reason to get married if you need to bring someone much younger and hotter from another country. There is no other way about it. They can stay on a fiance visa for several months but then eventually they have to be married to you.
01-13-2013 05:17 PM
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Parlay44 Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(01-13-2013 09:29 AM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  Wow....been a bunch of marriage-type threads lately. Where is the outrage?.....(laughs)

There's a lot of married players on the forum.

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01-13-2013 06:04 PM
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UrbanNerd Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
It will continue to be hard not to get screwed in marriage as long as men keep a mindset of "I don't care how much money she has...I just want her to look pretty, be feminine and that's it". You might as well hold up a sign to a judge and say "rape me".

Me?....I never understood a guy going through the struggles of college and the corporate world to attain good finances just to marry a friggin' administrative assistant who makes 1/10th of his income.

The BEST way to avoid getting screwed is get a chick with a good income. That may come with additional "bitch shield" (as ya'll call it) but I rather go through that and not risk my finances.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2013 07:07 PM by UrbanNerd.)
01-13-2013 07:06 PM
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Samseau Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
(01-13-2013 07:06 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  Me?....I never understood a guy going through the struggles of college and the corporate world to attain good finances just to marry a friggin' administrative assistant who makes 1/10th of his income.

And I'll never understand the guys who bust their ass for 40 years just to be trapped with a woman who looks like

[Image: 944b8c46a269b7a5b962f837193f157f.jpg]

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01-13-2013 07:23 PM
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Ensam Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
He married her to further his career in the military: it worked.
01-13-2013 07:32 PM
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bacan Offline
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RE: How To Not Get Screwed When You Get Married
The thing is that 15 years later, you are married to a completely different person and you just have to hope that the things you liked about her back then still exist and the thing she liked about you, she still likes..

Damn
01-27-2013 11:28 AM
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