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How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
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oldbeliever Offline
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Post: #26
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?


07-05-2017 10:31 AM
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tomzestatlu
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Post: #27
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(02-14-2017 03:46 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  While I appreciate the question.

I have a question for you.

What do you offer?

I am not trying to pick on the OP. This thread could be a good one. Everything I write below is in the general you, not the OP.

But many guys are always talking asking about getting things they want. But what do you offer anyone? Relationships, or at least meaningful ones that LAST, require you being able to provide, for the lack of a better word, value. Or at least some qualities that are admirable, like loyalty, wisdom, humor, selflessness. While these qualities may not be needed for the internet, they are needed for deeper friendships, for a crew of guys.

Slight tangent if I may, my business partner has been around, seen much. Life experiences, I can't share publicly. I asked him one time about this brotherhood topic. Because I have noticed, I don;t ever roll with more than 2 or 3 guys tops. Usually, I am a one on one sort of guy.

What happens the bigger the group, the likelihood that one of the guys will be a weaker contributor. Your tight crew will fight to see who pays the tab when you go out, etc. But you get big enough and you will get a guy that never seems to pay. And it wouldn't be the amount that is the paid, it is the action of paying. Maybe he picks on the cheaper bills (dinner, drinks, whatever) out and not the heavy ones (front row NBA tix, etc.) But a guy shows willingness to sacrifice how he can.

And the richer guys may refuse the offer, but they ALL remember the guy offered to do something, particularly if you know that the meal, whatever, would hurt a little. Guys remember. If you are the rich dude that never pays, guys remember that also.

Just a small example of why tight crews can't get too big. Now if it is like a fraternity type brotherhood, then sure it can be bigger because even in frats not all guys get along. But they share the desire to be in a fraternity and the benefits of being in a fraternity, so guys overlook some things like dicks in the frat. But in a tight crew, guys won't overlook stuff.

What do you have to offer? Or what are you genuinely interested in. Guys who are serious about their hobbies and interests can sense if you are sincere in your interests. And why would anyone take on something they are not generally interested in?

I wish you the best OP. Great question.

Serious talk.
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07-05-2017 11:42 AM
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TorontoRocks Offline
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Post: #28
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(02-11-2017 08:06 PM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  Meetups on this forum.
Proud Boys (Gavin McInnes men's club)
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meetup.com and play the numbers and find a red pill buddy
Trump Rally's
Join a church
Be a regular at a club

The world is your oyster.

Any Proud Boys on here?
07-05-2017 12:12 PM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #29
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
The first 3 items on that list are the first things that came to my mind. I have a big group of friends where I live, but if I didn't, I would more fervently pursue RVF meetups, ProudBoys, BJJ friends.

I have a separate group with guys I played basketball with. Competition (sports, BJJ, etc) is a great way of weeding out dudes.

Go grab drinks after the gym. Then you'll have an idea who you click with.

Competition for productive activity, drinking/talking for consumptive activity. It's a good push pull of relationships.

I'd be down for Proud Boys (as a regular listener to McInnes)...but I don't think my area has a group.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2017 12:20 PM by heavy.)
07-05-2017 12:17 PM
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Guitarman Offline
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Post: #30
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
I've only read part of the first page and I absolutely agree the best advice was " buy a motorbike and join a club". Doesn't have to be an outlaw club, there are plenty of biker clubs of all types out there.

It's my goal this year to get my bike license and start riding. Even if it's "just" a 125.
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2017 12:24 PM by Guitarman.)
07-05-2017 12:23 PM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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Post: #31
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
Jiu Jitsu.

I know two people who have died in one week in motorcycle accidents, so be very careful with that one. For me, it isn't worth the risk.
07-05-2017 12:24 PM
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oldbeliever Offline
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Post: #32
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(07-05-2017 12:24 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  Jiu Jitsu.

I know two people who have died in one week in motorcycle accidents, so be very careful with that one. For me, it isn't worth the risk.

Aren't Harleys safer than other bikes? I mean it can be seen and heard better.
I feel like I miss something because I don't have a motorcycle license.

There are other men's clubs, I found a thread here that suggested freemasonry.
07-05-2017 12:53 PM
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mammal Offline
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Post: #33
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(02-11-2017 08:06 PM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  Join a church
Be a regular at a club

Church? No one between ages 13 to 30. Those over 30 are married, the others are kids.

Club? Interest/hobby, yes. Club where people drink and dance, everyone's agenda is either sex or playing guys for drinks.

Your mileage may vary
07-13-2018 01:46 PM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #34
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(02-14-2017 03:46 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  While I appreciate the question.

I have a question for you.

What do you offer?

I am not trying to pick on the OP. This thread could be a good one. Everything I write below is in the general you, not the OP.

But many guys are always talking asking about getting things they want. But what do you offer anyone? Relationships, or at least meaningful ones that LAST, require you being able to provide, for the lack of a better word, value. Or at least some qualities that are admirable, like loyalty, wisdom, humor, selflessness. While these qualities may not be needed for the internet, they are needed for deeper friendships, for a crew of guys.

Slight tangent if I may, my business partner has been around, seen much. Life experiences, I can't share publicly. I asked him one time about this brotherhood topic. Because I have noticed, I don;t ever roll with more than 2 or 3 guys tops. Usually, I am a one on one sort of guy.

What happens the bigger the group, the likelihood that one of the guys will be a weaker contributor. Your tight crew will fight to see who pays the tab when you go out, etc. But you get big enough and you will get a guy that never seems to pay. And it wouldn't be the amount that is the paid, it is the action of paying. Maybe he picks on the cheaper bills (dinner, drinks, whatever) out and not the heavy ones (front row NBA tix, etc.) But a guy shows willingness to sacrifice how he can.

And the richer guys may refuse the offer, but they ALL remember the guy offered to do something, particularly if you know that the meal, whatever, would hurt a little. Guys remember. If you are the rich dude that never pays, guys remember that also.

Just a small example of why tight crews can't get too big. Now if it is like a fraternity type brotherhood, then sure it can be bigger because even in frats not all guys get along. But they share the desire to be in a fraternity and the benefits of being in a fraternity, so guys overlook some things like dicks in the frat. But in a tight crew, guys won't overlook stuff.

What do you have to offer? Or what are you genuinely interested in. Guys who are serious about their hobbies and interests can sense if you are sincere in your interests. And why would anyone take on something they are not generally interested in?

I wish you the best OP. Great question.

Underrated post!

There are way too many newbies these days that don't add any value and start needless threads.

OP, don't become one.

When I started I found a brotherhood on this forum. I've met many a great men, some of which turned into good friends.

Maybe do the same?

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07-13-2018 02:19 PM
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chicane Offline
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Post: #35
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
I'm older and it has gotten a lot more difficult. I really having nothing in common with AARP members other than age. All the venues I used to meet people in are rather useless. I've gotten active in politics, but since I'm fighting the system (the GOP leadership sucks), I don't connect very deeply there either.

So, what's an old guy like me to do? The popular answer is "just go off somewhere and die quietly"
07-13-2018 02:38 PM
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Johnnyvee Offline
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Post: #36
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(02-11-2017 08:06 PM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  Meetups on this forum.
Proud Boys (Gavin McInnes men's club)
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meetup.com and play the numbers and find a red pill buddy
Trump Rally's
Join a church
Be a regular at a club

The world is your oyster.

Few of those things are applicable in Norway though, otherwise good advice!

We will stomp to the top with the wind in our teeth.

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07-13-2018 02:46 PM
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semibaron Offline
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Post: #37
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
This has been covered 100 times before.

The general consent is to join a club of what ever interest you have.
07-13-2018 04:11 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #38
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
I would imagine that a group that demands virtue of its members is a good group to be part of. And / or one that involves intense experiences. Or something connected to a meaningful cause.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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(This post was last modified: 07-14-2018 01:16 PM by Vladimir Poontang.)
07-14-2018 01:15 PM
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jamaicabound Offline
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Post: #39
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
(07-05-2017 12:23 PM)Guitarman Wrote:  I've only read part of the first page and I absolutely agree the best advice was " buy a motorbike and join a club". Doesn't have to be an outlaw club, there are plenty of biker clubs of all types out there.

It's my goal this year to get my bike license and start riding. Even if it's "just" a 125.

I have a motorcycle and love it, but I wouldn't suggest buying a bike just to make friends or find a brotherhood unless its an activity you actually enjoy. ONe other thing I've found with biker clubs, again not even 1% even just local fun clubs is there are many clubs that will only allow American Bikes or Harleys and many clubs won't let you in with anything under a 650. I think its partly people dont consider people with a 250cc bike "real bikers" and partly because when riding in groups and on expressways you want everyong to be able to keep up and ride well in the group. You can't really be on a 125cc bike riding with guys on an 1100.

Don't limit yourself to something small my first bike was an 800cc and cost me 2200. I've had other 650s I got for $400.
07-15-2018 11:14 AM
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Post: #40
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
Find a new brotherhood like those militia in Virginia or create one, drag people in and be the pillar.

Tell them too much, they wouldn't understand; tell them what they know, they would yawn.
They have to move up by responding to challenges, not too easy not too hard, until they paused at what they always think is the end of the road for all time instead of a momentary break in an endless upward spiral
07-15-2018 02:40 PM
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Capitan Pescanova Offline
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Post: #41
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
I have made good good friends at the gym. I usually go to local gyms. They are more expensive and don't have as much options as big gyms but at least you frequently see the same guys over and over again. So it would appear as if you are part of a small community. However, the vast majority of times the only thing that we have in common are girls
07-16-2018 08:50 AM
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ColSpanker Offline
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Post: #42
RE: How to find a new "brotherhood" as an adult?
I'd say pursue an alternative spiritual path. It's the direction I've taken over the past two years. However, you need to watch out for the 1488 types on one end of the spectrum and the pink boys on the other.

"We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately."
07-22-2018 11:08 PM
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