Post: #26

10 year LTR and having cold feet? Paging kaotic...go read his breakup threads. There is some GOLD in there.

Post: #27

Gunner, what you're describing is something that is comfortable like an old pair of shoes, but it's desperately lacking PASSION.

The problem isn't that the relationship is worthless, but that it is simply not living up to your expectations. It's not unrealistic to expect passion in your love-life rather than something relaxed and familial.

The lack of passion is a genuine red-flag and you should not feel like you have to settle for less.

That being said, you have to BE a passionate person to generate passion. It can't just come out of nowhere. It's easy to expect that it will just happen if you're with the right person, but you still have to have it in you to feed into it. If you're a lazy lover who doesn't get passionate easily, you can't expect passion to happen. So you'd have to see if there's any internal reason why passion doesn't develop. It's not something I'd worry about unless you find yourself falling into a pattern of not getting really fired up about your girlfriends again and again.

Until then, it's probably simply the case of not being with the right women. The quality of a relationship is not simply a binary good/bad. There are a lot of inbetweens where the realtionship is, on a whole, pretty good, but just not great. That's where people tend to wimp out and settle and if you were okay with that you would not have created this thread.

Post: #28

(02-12-2017 05:33 AM)Tytalus Wrote:  If you have to pick, G1, but in reality, I'm thinking you need to start over with G3, and yes, I know you didn't mention a G3.

I second this answer as well! Due to your indecision, you've let the situation escalate to an uncontrollable pace, and now both of your options harbour some deep anger towards you... and that's not good... that's never good! If G1 is truly genuine and still treats you good after all these years... I'd personally take that chance if she was that great. But G2... man you better stay away from tying that up! That Girl is a Professional... and slowed down her ways cause she felt that Chump outta you( Not trying to insult, simply laying it like it is)

You can bet that she got word that you were inquiring about her... and that she paused all dating until you put a Ring on it! If any women like G2 has you feeling emotional... then you've already lost not only the Game... you've lost your Balls... and it's impossible to get them back. You're lucky that she's affluent... if not you'd already be on Child Support!

G1 is your call... G2 is out of the question if you don't want to remain a crying Punk Bitch (Again not insulting...just stating how she sees & thinks of you)

Post: #29

(02-09-2017 10:09 AM)Palo_alto Wrote:  
In my experience. If the passion and desire to have sex with your LTR is over, the relationship is over.


G2 seems manipulative and just a hassle after the fun stops.

Actually, all marriages and LTR's, even the best ones, lose the passion and desire after a while. Do you think a 55-year-old man with 5 kids and a 50-year-old wife (who he loves) feels the same passion and desire towards her as he did when she was 20 or 25?

Quote:I would cut my losses and enjoy my freedom in the US. You will meet your sweetheart later on.

All the best

OP said girl 1 was a virgin when they met and has always been loyal to him. I doubt he will meet another "sweetheart" like that later on (especially if he's living in the U.S.).

PS: OP, you can always marry girl 1 and then cheat on her if necessary. You would actually be doing her a favor if you chose to do this (as opposed to leaving her).

Post: #30

(02-12-2017 04:18 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  Actually, all marriages and LTR's, even the best ones, lose the passion and desire after a while.

The important thing is that a relationship at least HAD passion in the early days. As it ebbs, you can at least evoke those memories in the hopes of rekindling it. It's when the passion never blossomed at all that it's a red-flag.

Post: #31

(02-12-2017 04:26 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

(02-12-2017 04:18 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  Actually, all marriages and LTR's, even the best ones, lose the passion and desire after a while.

The important thing is that a relationship at least HAD passion in the early days. As it ebbs, you can at least evoke those memories in the hopes of rekindling it. It's when the passion never blossomed at all that it's a red-flag.

Yeah, that's exactly what I think in regards to G1: all the investment that she has made on me and being a partner for life must account for something, when we were teenagers we were passionate; is just that me banging other girls and building a relationship with G2 killed my passion, and that sucks.

On the last few days G2 has been crazy -- last weekend late night calls saying how much she loves me but yesterday, Valentine's, texting just to say that I'm the worst thing to ever walk the earth. The worst is that this is dragging on me and making me more depressed.
Thanks everyone for your comments.

Post: #32

Sometimes the girl who really, really wants to be with you can make the sex better by sheer effort, especially if you are more dominant by nature and she is willing to be submissive. It is possible to train them into that role over time. If the idea was at all appealing to you, it's something you could try for before just throwing her away. I agree with some of the other comments that someone who was a virgin and is legit devoted to you is not something to take lightly. If there is anything she could do that would make it more interesting for you, you could give her the opportunity.

Maybe that ship has sailed if you've known each other for so long and she already knows anything that would interest you and has gone as far as she is willing.

Post: #33

Gunner - have you considered talking to G1 about having a relationship where you can discreetly have sex with other girls on the side? A lot of guys on this forum talk about doing this although I suspect it is difficult to pull it off in real life, especially if you in the west with biased divorce courts or plan to have kids. However, it might be more common in her culture (Mexico I think) so maybe it could work.

I'm just curious if you have had that discussion but I still agree with the following statement because I don't think it is wise to ask either of these girls to move countries.

(02-08-2017 09:36 PM)lavidaloca Wrote:  Maybe it's time to rebuild before you get divorced 10 years from now when your bored out of your mind and need to chase other pussy and become another guy hating the system that destroyed his life.

I understand the idea that the feelings could come back but it is seems quite problematic that you are bored with her even though you haven't been with her in a long time. I think the boredom will increase when you see her everyday but that is just my 2 cents.

Post: #34

Gunner,

Finally had time to the read this thread.

You aren't going to like what I have to say, just a warning.


Cut BOTH girls NOW.


You've wasted 10 years of a G1's life in her prime, took her virginity, put her through the ringer, all the while she's waited for you and wants marriage.

Sure you can salvage G1, sure you can rekindle maybe a flame, but you AREN'T sexually attracted to her anymore.

This happened to my second to last ex, she had a hot body, but I couldn't get it up, I knew my dick had checked out and the boner test never lies, it just WASN'T there anymore.

I can understand why guys here are saying, "Go with G1 she's legit!"

Playing Devil's advocate here: Since she now knows you've cheated on her, you don't think that poison will fill her mind ? You don't think she's going to be constantly worrying about you fucking other girls ? That'll do damage to a good woman - regardless of how loyal she is to you and even if that's great dread game.

I haven't been with a woman that long, probably never will be unless I marrying her, which I probably won't ever do.

But the trust IS broken.


With Girl 2, her family HATES you, when you get in a relationship, it's not just her you're with, it's her family you're with. She has to lie about her whereabouts with you and she constantly sides with HER family.

This doesn't bode well at all.

At this point, all she is, is a passionate fuck that you have fun with.

She also knows you've cheated on her this entire time, her mind is already far gone and poisoned with this fact. It'll eat away at her eventually and you'll regret being with her.

The drama that will ensue won't be fun and more of a pain the ass and a headache.


You can't downgrade EITHER of these girls as a plate because there's too much history involved.


Birthday Cat poses a great question, IS it possible to be up front with G1 and have a don't ask don't tell policy of you fucking on the side ?

Something tells me G1 won't be up for it, since she's waiting this long for you and I'm sure wants you to herself.


My advice to you is end things with both girls as best as possible, stack your cash, further your career, and chase new pussy, you'll find another hottie you wanna fuck, you'll find another loving woman you want to lock down.

Remember, this is YOUR life, and YOUR time. Be selfish, but don't cause intentional harm to others.


It's time to cut the cords.

It's time to move on.


EDIT: Read my break up thread with my last serious girlfriend, it was a tough move for me.

/thread-52295.html

I'm actually currently dealing with the loss of my main girl, who ghosted on me on her terms, and I don't know why.

It was a blow, but knowing game and having this forum made it softer.

Post: #35

^

Post: #36

Just to give you a quick update, yes, G1 mind is poisoned. We had a great weekend some fun even had sex but then next day she asked: "was I as good as all your other lays, specially G2?"...

I'm trying but then if I receive a text from G2 I get emotional, I truly care for both girls and I don't want to make anyone cry more, specially G1.

Hopefully I could get my cake and eat it too but I think that the most rational and scary choice is to cut both, as you guys mostly suggested.

Post: #37

This whole situation is a train wreck in progress and here you are, at the caboose, still deciding when to jump.

Just to recap (and I'm not one to white-knight/shame lightly), you've more or less fucked up G1's life. She will never even get half way to recovering from this.

G2 is trash and you can be sure if you commit to her then she's going to cheat on your ass by the end of the first year (if not the first week).

You have also compromised yourself. G1 is going to haunt you for the rest of your life, figuratively at least and if she hangs herself, probably literally.

This whole scenario reads like the movie Shutter.

Hate to get harsh, but you should have brought this whole matter to an end the day after your OP, yet you're still fucking G1. At this rate we're going to have your account go dead at the same time as an RL double-murder/suicide.

Post: #38

I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

Post: #39

(02-23-2017 02:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

I would agree with this except for the part where he says he no longer gets turned on by g1.

Cut both girls off completely and date other girls.

Post: #40

(02-23-2017 03:07 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 02:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

I would agree with this except for the part where he says he no longer gets turned on by g1.

Cut both girls off completely and date other girls.

But he's also wracked with guilt (plus still fucking her) This would assuage the damage he's done and the side action (which she tolerates) deals with the "bored with her sexually" part. Ideal? No...probably not for her but it beats a lot of other ways it could play out (would she at this point recover and land in a better position...I doubt it)... and a lot of guys do find this is ideal.

Post: #41

(02-23-2017 03:20 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 03:07 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 02:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

I would agree with this except for the part where he says he no longer gets turned on by g1.

Cut both girls off completely and date other girls.

But he's also wracked with guilt (plus still fucking her) This would assuage the damage he's done and the side action (which she tolerates) deals with the "bored with her sexually" part. Ideal? No...but it beats a lot of other ways it could play out.

It seems like a shitty thing to do to keep dating someone and even marry them when you are no longer that attracted to them. Not the best way to start a marriage.

If they had been married for 10 or 20 years and then he starts getting bored with her, and the kids are already grown and moved out etc, I'd just say sure stay married and cheat on her but keep quiet about it(or get divorced, but divorce costs money). But I mean, he hasn't even married her yet. That would be a mistake and entirely avoidable

Post: #42

(02-23-2017 03:28 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 03:20 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 03:07 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

(02-23-2017 02:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

I would agree with this except for the part where he says he no longer gets turned on by g1.

Cut both girls off completely and date other girls.

But he's also wracked with guilt (plus still fucking her) This would assuage the damage he's done and the side action (which she tolerates) deals with the "bored with her sexually" part. Ideal? No...but it beats a lot of other ways it could play out.

It seems like a shitty thing to do to keep dating someone and even marry them when you are no longer that attracted to them. Not the best way to start a marriage.

If they had been married for 10 or 20 years and then he starts getting bored with her, and the kids are already grown and moved out etc, I'd just say sure stay married and cheat on her but keep quiet about it(or get divorced, but divorce costs money). But I mean, he hasn't even married her yet. That would be a mistake and entirely avoidable

Id agree under normal circumstances...but this is an extreme case of a guy having strung a girl along (10 years)....Like LNB said this girls' self esteem is likely irredeemably destroyed. Its a fucked up situation. That said:

Given the options which one What do you think G1 would choose? I bet I know

Post: #43

Cut both girls off. Never marry a girl out of a sense of guilt/obligation. Try to have some respect for the integrity of marriage. It's bad enough keeping a marriage together as it is--at least start it when you're head over heels for each other.

Post: #44

Quick update:

I'm a mental wreck. With G1 I feel like a parent? or brother? I try to pamper her, hang out with her but I don't feel excited at all, I feel lots of guilt and she says she just wants to make me happy, she cooks, cleans, she really tries her best..but every time I realize that if I don't get excited by her, although on paper she is awesome I don't feel happy and I just want to fly away, I should not stay with her...but that feeling is too heavy for me.

I saw G2 and wow...I know she is not marriage material and she is impulsive but the chemistry that we have is incredible, she makes me feel like a man and we do some amazing stuff on the bed and off the bed. She really doesn't have any dealbreaker per se is just that it's high risk by all the things I already mentioned. If I were less conservative I would give her a chance but maybe reading this forum that much blocks me against her (and comparing G2 against all the qualities that G1 has of course).

In the end I know that being single is the best option for me is just that I don't have the balls to do it.

Post: #45

If that's the case then.....

Post: #46

(03-13-2017 04:12 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  If that's the case then.....

(02-23-2017 02:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should marry G1 and just have discreet side chicks for the rest of your life (G2 is temporary no matter what you do...that's a given). If she's (G1) tolerated this situation openly then she'd likely tolerate it long term if you didn't throw the side action in her face. I's not at all an uncommon "arrangement" and in fact in many parts of the world it's pretty accepted.






You man up, marry her, take care of her and any kids you have with her, be discreet about the side action...maybe the only way to make lemonade here

Post: #47

Sometimes I listen to these Spaniards and Latin guys.

I think to myself, I feel like I would have this mentality if I jacked myself up on large amounts of ZMA, gingseng, and drank a few bottle of champagne everyday walking the streets.

Just like fuck every and any girl metaphorically & physically, like laws of the jungle.

Neither girl man both are fucked up and done.

Go bang another few hundred girls, settle down when you're 45.

Post: #48

OP- I feel you all too well. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few months and been scouring the forum on what to do (very mixed opinions like you see here).

What i've decided is that, just like the women we like to make so much fun of regarding their hamstering decisions in the beta bucks/alpha fucks scenario --- I find that I am guilty of doing the same thing; yet in our own manly way.

A woman has a few desires... she loves the stability of the paper pushing beta who comes home on time, deals with her crap, etc. etc. but he doesn't give her the tingles....

She gets tingles from the alpha bad boy...but he doesn't have a job pushing papers that makes him a good long term solution... ergo, she fills both needs.

We, in the manosphere, know this to be true and call it the Beta Bux/Alpha Fux dichotomy... very fitting, really.

But as men, we are just as guilty!

I don't know about you guys, but I love having a good girl around who can cook, clean, "bring home to mom", doesn't swear, is submissive, and a great person all around... I enjoy all of that immensely....

BUT

There's something about a Tiffany (Female version of Chad Thundercock) who we all know is a huge slut...that wears heels too high and shorts too short that we absolutely want to punish and do horrible, unforgiveable things to.

Yes, we know Tiffany would be a terrible mother/LTR; but we cant get her out of our mind when we come home to little ms innocent.


We are just as guilty as the sloots we talk down to.

These are just some musings as of late; don't get me wrong, I have no advice for you. I'm just as confused as you are.