Post: #51

I think it's better to not sweat the small stuff and if small stuff bothers you there's work you need to do on yourself to get past that. The more your life "game" is together i.e. you feel secure with who you are, what you're doing, where you're going the less likely it is that "small stuff" is going to bother you. All people have their "stuff" and it's not about ignoring everything, you do have to act on the "stuff" that impacts your life in a negative way. For example:

I was living with a women that seemed to always want to start up a conversation as I was walking out the door. I calmly sat her down and explained to her that her behavior was distracting and would cause me to forget things like my keys, so the rule was if you see me getting ready to go out and what you have to say isn't a life saving emergency tell me later. This same women would also want to start talking the moment I got home which prompted another conversation about how I require time to decompress and when I'm ready to engage I'll come to you.

My experience with respect to what works is that you have to articulate your needs in a calm fashion but you have to know what your needs are in order to articulate them. Women are always trying to get what they want because they think that's what you want too, they think that they're acting in your best interest. When they are it's good, when they aren't you have to let them know.

Post: #52

(01-14-2017 01:36 AM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  I think it's better to not sweat the small stuff and if small stuff bothers you there's work you need to do on yourself to get past that. The more your life "game" is together i.e. you feel secure with who you are, what you're doing, where you're going the less likely it is that "small stuff" is going to bother you.

It might be true in general. Doesn't apply to me though.

Small stuff doesn't bother me due to my insecurities or lack of personality. That's handled and fine. I feel secure with myself, my demons are gone.

It bothers me cause big issues start small like that, with that tiny sign of disrespect. It goes like this... One day when you're 45 you wake up in the morning next to your annoying wife you think.. how the fuck it ended up this way?

You see that your wife's behavior has gone out of control over the years and you realize it's kind of your fault. You were noticing things before, you know that "small stuff". You saw that she's been relating to you and treating you worse and worse slowly but surely. It's been changing in front of your eyes monthly and yearly until now but you didn't bother. You thought you're better than this. You are the man, you didn't want to sweat the small stuff. But now you're fucked. You can't go back to how it was in the beginning. All you can do is snap, awaken, break habits and wreck GF's (+ your daughter's) plans to continue using you...

That's what not sweating small stuff leads to.

Post: #53

(01-15-2017 06:41 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-14-2017 01:36 AM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  I think it's better to not sweat the small stuff and if small stuff bothers you there's work you need to do on yourself to get past that. The more your life "game" is together i.e. you feel secure with who you are, what you're doing, where you're going the less likely it is that "small stuff" is going to bother you.

It might be true in general. Doesn't apply to me though.

Small stuff doesn't bother me due to my insecurities or lack of personality. That's handled and fine. I feel secure with myself, my demons are gone.

It bothers me cause big issues start small like that, with that tiny sign of disrespect. It goes like this... One day when you're 45 you wake up in the morning next to your annoying wife you think.. how the fuck it ended up this way?

You see that your wife's behavior has gone out of control over the years and you realize it's kind of your fault. You were noticing things before, you know that "small stuff". You saw that she's been relating to you and treating you worse and worse slowly but surely. It's been changing in front of your eyes monthly and yearly until now but you didn't bother. You thought you're better than this. You are the man, you didn't want to sweat the small stuff. But now you're fucked. You can't go back to how it was in the beginning. All you can do is snap, awaken, break habits and wreck GF's (+ your daughter's) plans to continue using you...

That's what not sweating small stuff leads to.

XXL, I think you're spot on. It reminds me of the following anecdote:

"The boiling frog is an anecdote describing a frog slowly being boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in cold water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of threats that arise gradually."

Post: #54

^^If that's your issue then when they start with the petty games you just need to call them out on it.

Not the issue that they're complaining about. Call them out on the pettiness.

"Is this how it's going to be between us?"

"Do you think that's an acceptable way to talk to me?"

It's all situationally dependent but I've always found that the very second you sense that disrespect is the moment you have to nip it in the bud. You took a jab at me earlier in the thread (?) re: physicality entering your frame:

Quote:You mean that a girl supposed to be afraid that you will lose it and put hands on her? What gives?

Well I stick by it. My wife from time to talks about how much she hates women that talk smack to men yet expect to be protected from consequences. I agree and amplify.

"The reason things are like they are today is that m'f'ers run their mouth and nobody pops them in the nose". And she knows I'm serious because I am. And just like I speak to her respectfully I make it clear that she is required to do likewise.

Of course, I have told her many times that I'd never hit her, but if she put me in a position where I worried that I might then I would walk out and never come back, guaranteed.

So when she gets moody and starts to kick off, yeah, I let out a bit of flex and she gets a non-verbal indicator that it's probably time to shut the fuck up. Nobody is issuing verbal ultimatums. Just plain body language. Call it what you will but from the time I adopted it 90% of drama simply ceased.

Post: #55

(01-15-2017 07:34 AM)ksbms Wrote:  XXL, I think you're spot on. It reminds me of the following anecdote:

"The boiling frog is an anecdote describing a frog slowly being boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in cold water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of threats that arise gradually."

Exactly the same thing.

Women have the same issues as well. At first they meet this charismatic horny stud that all their friends get jealous of and then slowly but surely as time goes by this dude becomes more and more lame until she's completely fed up with him. Why? Because she never confronts those negative micro changes in his behavior, he feels he can do whatever, laziness kicks in and then it snowballs. Sad but true.

So please guys, don't make it as "if you're DA MAN you would not react to her bullshit" cause this approach is actually bullshit. Da man so to speak does not tolerate any bullshit in his life especially coming from a girl he voluntarily chooses to be with. If she's not on his team she needs to go, that's the harsh reality of relationship. Ignoring her shit is not an option. The only compromise is the way to choose to enforce your standards. I think Ringo said it best.

Post: #56

(01-09-2017 12:46 PM)XXL Wrote:  To be honest I do it out of fear of getting it out of control. You know as they say, give them a finger, they'll take the whole hand, power corrupts, etc. I've seen some examples of confident men turning into passive wimps in their relationship just because they ignored certain symptoms, allowed their women for too much and slowly but surely let their GF/wifes walk over them in the end.

As someone once said, "It's easier to attack than it is to defend." And women are always on the attack: testing boundaries, menstruating, interrupting you with chatty nonsense, etc. And even the "good" ones do this - it's in their nature.

I think the secret is to limit the deal breakers - make a contract with yourself that there are 2 - 3 things that are mandatory in the relationship. The rest you can let slide. For example, I let my old lady know that she will NEVER disrespect me. She threw an insult my way when we were first dating and I called her on it. Since then she has not crossed the line again (Of course, some women will cross the line regardless).

Having too many rules is, in my opinion, a recipe for failure. Make a short list and enforce it.

Post: #57

I think I suffered from this problem too, as I mentioned in a previous thread. I was with a very attractive woman (she exercised, watched what she ate and always dressed well (she didn't grow up in the US, so that made sense)), but she was very particular about certain things, things that I didn't care about. For example, she only wanted to eat at certain restaurants, watch certain movies, etc., and I went along with it because, what did I care? I'll eat anywhere.

The boiling frog analogy is quite accurate. Gradually, she took over making all of the decisions regarding 'social activities' and I just let it happen because that stuff isn't that important to me, as long as I could grab a drink and hang out, I was happy.

But I think that made her believe that I was a pushover and a wimp. I probably should have nipped it in the bud at this stage but I really didn't perceive what was going on. And then, as she realized (consciously or subconsciously) that she could push me around, she started treating me a little poorly, you know, passsing comments about me not measuring up in some regard (we exercised together and she would make snide comments about my inability to lift certain weights or whatever), mentioning some other guy she was recently talking to etc., which I also ignored, though at that stage I should have clearly acted on it.

Finally I got fed up and dumped her, and she was surprised. She even said something to the effect "if these things bothered you, you should have said something", which I think validates that the 'ignoring' approach as the wrong way to go. The trick is knowing what to challenge and what to let slide. I didn't think I needed to butt heads with her over where to eat dinner, but maybe I should have. As it escalated to the other stuff (classic "shit tests") I definitely should have done something.

Honestly, to have to be on the alert like that, ready to step in for seemingly minor transgressions because it could influence the course of the entire relationship, is just so exhausting to me.

Post: #58

Quote:She even said something to the effect "if these things bothered you, you should have said something", which I think validates that the 'ignoring' approach as the wrong way to go. The trick is knowing what to challenge and what to let slide.

We should make a Wiki/ List of this, in terms of Actions, Intensity & Frequency to Allow (she's a child), Disallow & Draw the line (tantrum child).

(11-06-2016 02:00 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  Great wisdom red pill dropped here:

Keep in mind I have really strong filters (no tattoos, no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol, low or zero partner count, intact two-parent family, not materialistic, doesn't wear heels that are too high, dresses modestly, loves her mom and dad, no sexual hangups, takes joy in simply going out for a walk or baking a cake, and doesn't raise her voice (ever), for example), so these girls aren't like this just because they're young.

Post: #59

(01-15-2017 06:41 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-14-2017 01:36 AM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  I think it's better to not sweat the small stuff and if small stuff bothers you there's work you need to do on yourself to get past that. The more your life "game" is together i.e. you feel secure with who you are, what you're doing, where you're going the less likely it is that "small stuff" is going to bother you.

It might be true in general. Doesn't apply to me though.

Small stuff doesn't bother me due to my insecurities or lack of personality. That's handled and fine. I feel secure with myself, my demons are gone.

It bothers me cause big issues start small like that, with that tiny sign of disrespect. It goes like this... One day when you're 45 you wake up in the morning next to your annoying wife you think.. how the fuck it ended up this way?

You see that your wife's behavior has gone out of control over the years and you realize it's kind of your fault. You were noticing things before, you know that "small stuff". You saw that she's been relating to you and treating you worse and worse slowly but surely. It's been changing in front of your eyes monthly and yearly until now but you didn't bother. You thought you're better than this. You are the man, you didn't want to sweat the small stuff. But now you're fucked. You can't go back to how it was in the beginning. All you can do is snap, awaken, break habits and wreck GF's (+ your daughter's) plans to continue using you...

That's what not sweating small stuff leads to.

To me the scenario that you are laying out is a result of not paying attention, being oblivious, that's not seeing stuff, small or large. I'm not advocating not paying attention and I'm also not advocating not bringing stuff up which I already mentioned.

Post: #60

(01-15-2017 11:02 AM)Stirfry Wrote:  I think I suffered from this problem too, as I mentioned in a previous thread. I was with a very attractive woman (she exercised, watched what she ate and always dressed well (she didn't grow up in the US, so that made sense)), but she was very particular about certain things, things that I didn't care about. For example, she only wanted to eat at certain restaurants, watch certain movies, etc., and I went along with it because, what did I care? I'll eat anywhere.

The boiling frog analogy is quite accurate. Gradually, she took over making all of the decisions regarding 'social activities' and I just let it happen because that stuff isn't that important to me, as long as I could grab a drink and hang out, I was happy.

But I think that made her believe that I was a pushover and a wimp. I probably should have nipped it in the bud at this stage but I really didn't perceive what was going on. And then, as she realized (consciously or subconsciously) that she could push me around, she started treating me a little poorly, you know, passsing comments about me not measuring up in some regard (we exercised together and she would make snide comments about my inability to lift certain weights or whatever), mentioning some other guy she was recently talking to etc., which I also ignored, though at that stage I should have clearly acted on it.

Finally I got fed up and dumped her, and she was surprised. She even said something to the effect "if these things bothered you, you should have said something", which I think validates that the 'ignoring' approach as the wrong way to go. The trick is knowing what to challenge and what to let slide. I didn't think I needed to butt heads with her over where to eat dinner, but maybe I should have. As it escalated to the other stuff (classic "shit tests") I definitely should have done something.

Honestly, to have to be on the alert like that, ready to step in for seemingly minor transgressions because it could influence the course of the entire relationship, is just so exhausting to me.

It's never a good idea to let someone else make all the decisions or to go along with everything someone suggests., especially when it comes to women. Even if it didn't matter to me what restaurant we went to, or what movie we watched, I would still exercise my choice, because if you don't, things wind up like you described.

Post: #61

Misbehavior prevention is more important than how to react. There needs to be a strong frame from the start of the kind of crap you won't put up with. It's all in the vibe and she'll get the message quick. 

Letting shit slide ,though, is important. You're only as big as what aggravates you. If you "put her in her place" for everything, you'll come off as her dad in all the wrong the ways. Deciding what slides is all about your identity. What do you stand for? What will you not put up with? Starting with standards filters out the time wasters and gives you quality babes with less instances of misbehavior.

When she does trespass on your principles, freeze her out. A high value dude doesn't have time for bullshit and will simply do other shit while she stews in her anxiety about how she fucked it up. Every girl of quality I ever dated cracked under the freeze and apologized big time. As for the others? I broke up with them.

Post: #62

there are a lot of paradoxes to doing this right.

you have to trade being in control and doing it right with nipping it in the bud. when you manage people, especially lower level people, you have to be very specific and have to give feedback/correction more frequently.

you also have to do this out of a frame of abundance. with a GF or LTR, that is more difficult obviously.

lastly, if you divulge your triggers, then you can lose control. There is a great scene in the light BDSM movie The Secretary where she would intentionally make typos so she would get bent over the desk and spanked. Obviously that was just a scene in a movie but for some guys the passive aggressive comments girls make will trigger them. She craves your attention and is going to figure out how to get it.

Post: #63

Spanking. Lots of spanking.

My wife likes it so much that sometimes afterwards she'd crawl over my lap while I'm on the couch, pull her panties down and ask me to spank her some more. She says it keeps her emotions under control. She loves the old '50s spanking ads and movie scenes I've shown her.

It's not everything I do, but it's always a good one, followed by some serious dicking.

I always nip it in the bud. It's like dog training (e.g puppet poops on your carpet) or child discipline. You catch it early, on the spot, before it is forgotten or develops into something bigger and uglier. However, you cannot be upset or angry while you do it, and the right attitude is one of amused mastery. Women are very child-like compared to us, it's no use getting mad at their antics.

My wife sometimes in her rare moments of Red Pill would say that she's very glad I say no right away to certain silly things she asks of me, or correct her on some bad behaviours. She always checks afterwards if I'm at all upset, and is happy that I'm amused and in control.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't react to her BS" refers to your control of your own emotions, not your actions.

Post: #64

I agree with Lexington that you don't want to get baited in to being her dad and correcting every action. Sometimes there's nothing as powerful as her putting her best cards down and you meeting that hand with silence. Be stoic sometimes. A passive aggressive text? Word she knows you don't like? Degrading nickname? Getting a reply the next day when she's used to getting them in a few minutes can set her straight. After a while a girl realizes if she brings positivity to the well she'll get some water to bring back with her, if not things will be dry for her.

Post: #65

(01-25-2017 12:54 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Spanking. Lots of spanking.

My wife likes it so much that sometimes afterwards she'd crawl over my lap while I'm on the couch, pull her panties down and ask me to spank her some more. She says it keeps her emotions under control. She loves the old '50s spanking ads and movie scenes I've shown her.

It's not everything I do, but it's always a good one, followed by some serious dicking.

I always nip it in the bud. It's like dog training (e.g puppet poops on your carpet) or child discipline. You catch it early, on the spot, before it is forgotten or develops into something bigger and uglier. However, you cannot be upset or angry while you do it, and the right attitude is one of amused mastery. Women are very child-like compared to us, it's no use getting mad at their antics.

My wife sometimes in her rare moments of Red Pill would say that she's very glad I say no right away to certain silly things she asks of me, or correct her on some bad behaviours. She always checks afterwards if I'm at all upset, and is happy that I'm amused and in control.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't react to her BS" refers to your control of your own emotions, not your actions.

I get the concept, one of the things I had a lack of (still work on it), was control over emotions. Regular Meditation has helped me work on that.. As someone said.. Dont GET ANGRY (anger controlling you), But SHOW ANGER (measured/ as much as is needed).

When it comes to today's females.. and Nipping it in the bud.. I can laugh away all their stuff.. (meditation & realizing they are how they are)..
But, I'd like to understand, HOW MUCH of NIPPING it in the Bud, SHOWING or CONVEYING disapproval.. When, How much, & in what way..

I know & understand this has to be calibrated case by case, but EXAMPLES will help (assuming that one's self control has evolved) more than the "concept" which most of us seem to have understood.

Also, EARLY TRAINING.. I know it starts from Interaction 1, but with younger girls.. I've noticed that until the Bang/ until she is IN with you, the "Stronger Daddy" needs to wait and let the "Fun Daddy" play until she commits..

@StrikeBack
PPS: Some actual examples of Early Training from your side would be lovely. ESPECIALLY, the Over Knee Spanking movies and how you trained her on that.. (I'd like to learn this PROGRESSION in detail) PLEASE.. That's perfectly playful to start with and can eventually go to INTENSE..

(01-25-2017 01:41 AM)Mayweather Wrote:  I agree with Lexington that you don't want to get baited in to being her dad and correcting every action. Sometimes there's nothing as powerful as her putting her best cards down and you meeting that hand with silence. Be stoic sometimes.

A passive aggressive text? Word she knows you don't like? Degrading nickname? Getting a reply the next day when she's used to getting them in a few minutes can set her straight. After a while a girl realizes if she brings positivity to the well she'll get some water to bring back with her, if not things will be dry for her.

True.

Post: #66

(01-25-2017 12:54 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Spanking. Lots of spanking.

My wife likes it so much that sometimes afterwards she'd crawl over my lap while I'm on the couch, pull her panties down and ask me to spank her some more. She says it keeps her emotions under control. She loves the old '50s spanking ads and movie scenes I've shown her.

It's not everything I do, but it's always a good one, followed by some serious dicking.

I always nip it in the bud. It's like dog training (e.g puppet poops on your carpet) or child discipline. You catch it early, on the spot, before it is forgotten or develops into something bigger and uglier. However, you cannot be upset or angry while you do it, and the right attitude is one of amused mastery. Women are very child-like compared to us, it's no use getting mad at their antics.

My wife sometimes in her rare moments of Red Pill would say that she's very glad I say no right away to certain silly things she asks of me, or correct her on some bad behaviours. She always checks afterwards if I'm at all upset, and is happy that I'm amused and in control.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't react to her BS" refers to your control of your own emotions, not your actions.

Did she know you were into Domestic Discipline before she married you? I had linked further up-thread http://www.takeninhand.com which is a site that I found promoting spanking your wife if she gets out of hand. A male led household philosophy. Seems like something that attracts both traditional men and women because it greater emphasizes the differences between the sexes and their roles. Your thoughts?

Post: #67

Never get angry. I used to have anger issues when I was younger, and so teenage me, blue pilled hard, would direct that anger inward and let my LTRs walk all over me to the point of insanity. Anger can and will be used to manipulate you whether for guilt or attention. It doesn't mean I let stuff slide, though. But chill and calm is the way to avoid resentment or manipulation.

Post: #68

(01-15-2017 11:02 AM)Stirfry Wrote:  The boiling frog analogy is quite accurate. Gradually, she took over making all of the decisions regarding 'social activities' and I just let it happen because that stuff isn't that important to me, as long as I could grab a drink and hang out, I was happy.

But I think that made her believe that I was a pushover and a wimp. I probably should have nipped it in the bud at this stage but I really didn't perceive what was going on. And then, as she realized (consciously or subconsciously) that she could push me around, she started treating me a little poorly, you know, passsing comments about me not measuring up in some regard (we exercised together and she would make snide comments about my inability to lift certain weights or whatever), mentioning some other guy she was recently talking to etc., which I also ignored, though at that stage I should have clearly acted on it.

Finally I got fed up and dumped her, and she was surprised. She even said something to the effect "if these things bothered you, you should have said something", which I think validates that the 'ignoring' approach as the wrong way to go. The trick is knowing what to challenge and what to let slide. I didn't think I needed to butt heads with her over where to eat dinner, but maybe I should have. As it escalated to the other stuff (classic "shit tests") I definitely should have done something.

Honestly, to have to be on the alert like that, ready to step in for seemingly minor transgressions because it could influence the course of the entire relationship, is just so exhausting to me

Yeah that was your fault

Women are just like that. They do whatever they feel like and if you don't stop that it gets out of control. Some do it without thinking, some do it on purpose.

Funny fact.. my grandma is a harcore example of the latter. She always goes a bit too far and stops only when someone calls her out or object. Fully consciously. She's like "I'm not forcing anyone to do anything, people can always tell me no, but if they don't I get mine". She's rather dominant woman. Doesn't take no for an answer. I have to tell her no a couple of times to make her stop whatever she says/does. That kind of type.

I remember when I first noticed it. It got me thinking. It made me realize I was way too nice in general. When I was trying to find compromise from the start she was trying to do things her way, waiting for potential objections and having comebacks ready.

Some people just try their luck and do things their own way without asking

Post: #69

(01-19-2017 05:16 AM)Lexington Patrick Wrote:  Misbehavior prevention is more important than how to react. There needs to be a strong frame from the start of the kind of crap you won't put up with. It's all in the vibe and she'll get the message quick. 

Letting shit slide ,though, is important. You're only as big as what aggravates you. If you "put her in her place" for everything, you'll come off as her dad in all the wrong the ways. Deciding what slides is all about your identity. What do you stand for? What will you not put up with? Starting with standards filters out the time wasters and gives you quality babes with less instances of misbehavior.

When she does trespass on your principles, freeze her out. A high value dude doesn't have time for bullshit and will simply do other shit while she stews in her anxiety about how she fucked it up. Every girl of quality I ever dated cracked under the freeze and apologized big time. As for the others? I broke up with them.

That's my goal for this year. I swear I'm not going to have any drama or to waste time for stupid discussions.

Listening to Patrice O'Neal really opened my eyes to ways how handle certain situations.

Post: #70

(01-25-2017 12:54 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Spanking. Lots of spanking.

My wife likes it so much that sometimes afterwards she'd crawl over my lap while I'm on the couch, pull her panties down and ask me to spank her some more. She says it keeps her emotions under control. She loves the old '50s spanking ads and movie scenes I've shown her.

It's not everything I do, but it's always a good one, followed by some serious dicking.

I always nip it in the bud. It's like dog training (e.g puppet poops on your carpet) or child discipline. You catch it early, on the spot, before it is forgotten or develops into something bigger and uglier. However, you cannot be upset or angry while you do it, and the right attitude is one of amused mastery. Women are very child-like compared to us, it's no use getting mad at their antics.

My wife sometimes in her rare moments of Red Pill would say that she's very glad I say no right away to certain silly things she asks of me, or correct her on some bad behaviors. She always checks afterwards if I'm at all upset, and is happy that I'm amused and in control.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't react to her BS" refers to your control of your own emotions, not your actions.

Ahh the lost art of spanking. Good reminder

Whatever this amused mastery is.. it is hard.

Post: #71

(01-25-2017 07:42 PM)`Petronius Wrote:  Never get angry. I used to have anger issues when I was younger, and so teenage me, blue pilled hard, would direct that anger inward and let my LTRs walk all over me to the point of insanity. Anger can and will be used to manipulate you whether for guilt or attention. It doesn't mean I let stuff slide, though. But chill and calm is the way to avoid resentment or manipulation.

I have to admit, I was losing it too many times with my last GF. She was high tempered girl, emotional and rather confrontational. Bitchy in bad mood. It's hard to stay chill when you really wanna catch her by her throat and hate fuck her to release all this tension. Crazy times.

Post: #72

(01-27-2017 05:24 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-25-2017 07:42 PM)`Petronius Wrote:  Never get angry. I used to have anger issues when I was younger, and so teenage me, blue pilled hard, would direct that anger inward and let my LTRs walk all over me to the point of insanity. Anger can and will be used to manipulate you whether for guilt or attention. It doesn't mean I let stuff slide, though. But chill and calm is the way to avoid resentment or manipulation.

I have to admit, I was losing it too many times with my last GF. She was high tempered girl, emotional and rather confrontational. Bitchy in bad mood. It's hard to stay chill when you really wanna catch her by her throat and hate fuck her to release all this tension. Crazy times.

Where from was she?

Post: #73

(01-27-2017 05:35 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-27-2017 05:24 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-25-2017 07:42 PM)`Petronius Wrote:  Never get angry. I used to have anger issues when I was younger, and so teenage me, blue pilled hard, would direct that anger inward and let my LTRs walk all over me to the point of insanity. Anger can and will be used to manipulate you whether for guilt or attention. It doesn't mean I let stuff slide, though. But chill and calm is the way to avoid resentment or manipulation.

I have to admit, I was losing it too many times with my last GF. She was high tempered girl, emotional and rather confrontational. Bitchy in bad mood. It's hard to stay chill when you really wanna catch her by her throat and hate fuck her to release all this tension. Crazy times.

Where from was she?

Eastern Ukraine

Post: #74

@John Michael Kane: I'm looking at the site now, I'm not familiar with it. After scanning the headlines though, it seems that they target either a man who used to be a wuss and now wants to be dominant, or a woman who used to be a feminist and now wants to be submissive. Neither applies to me or my wife, because I'm naturally dominant and she's submissive, right from the beginning. I don't care much for the label "Taken In Hand", I call our model the one God created where the man leads and the woman follows, also known as "The Only Model That Works" or "The Natural and Godly Order Of Things". This is NOT a model of equality, that's a feminist poison. We are not equal before God, I'm her leader, she's my helper, she is created for me not the other way around. The "Taken In Hand" people seem to be stuck with the label "equal" as can be seen here: http://www.takeninhand.com/forum/how.are.we.equal I may not go as far as calling them feminists in traditional / Christian clothing, but they certainly have been poisoned by feminism perhaps without realising so.

Regarding spanking, it has to be used carefully. I only use spanking when it comes to small or playful misbehaviours. I never use it in a serious scenario, where a talking to or withdrawl of attention is much more appropriate. It's because it's both a punishment and a reward, more so the latter because women really do love getting spanked. In the case of "punishment", I only spank my wife after she has realised her misbehaviour, apologised and done something to please me (e.g cooking me a nice meal or giving me a massage). If I show anger at her (never serious, always under control) or if I withdraw attention (more serious misbehaviours), she gets scared, and I do not spank her then, but later instead. Spanking for me is a fun art. Half of the time, it's more like me playing with my favourite musical instruments: her bubble booty. The spanking we love from the old movies is because it's fun, erotic and sexual. It's not something to scare and hurt the woman with.

The reason spanking was brought up in the first place in our relationship is because we both love vintage movies and she aspires to be like a 1950s housewife. She loves the old ads about the pretty housewife dressing up beautifully waiting for her husband to come home for dinner, and started doing the same very early on in our dating. Naturally spanking followed, because plenty of those ads and movies from back then had a husband putting his wife over his knees for a good smack on the booty, with the wife looking like she's over the moon happy and wet.

Post: #75

(01-25-2017 07:57 AM)xmlenigma Wrote:  I get the concept, one of the things I had a lack of (still work on it), was control over emotions. Regular Meditation has helped me work on that.. As someone said.. Dont GET ANGRY (anger controlling you), But SHOW ANGER (measured/ as much as is needed).

I learned how to completely control and channel my anger (or other strong emotions) through physical training: dancing (for the softer emotions), lifting and boxing (for harder emotions).

Quote:When it comes to today's females.. and Nipping it in the bud.. I can laugh away all their stuff.. (meditation & realizing they are how they are)..
But, I'd like to understand, HOW MUCH of NIPPING it in the Bud, SHOWING or CONVEYING disapproval.. When, How much, & in what way..

Please keep in mind that I am only talking about a woman you want to marry. For all other women, you can do as you please, and can always just walk away if she's too much.

The mindset you need to have is that you are moulding her into a suitable woman for you. This considerable effort is something she must appreciate and understand that it is a privilege for her, and you are only doing so because you think she's a good woman for you. Very early on, as soon as we started dating and after she learned something from me that she said she appreciated very much, I told her that my Time is my most precious resource and I do not spend it on anyone unworthy. She understands and has the biggest respect for my Time with her. Also, my teaching from the experiences and lessons I've learned in life is the biggest gift I can give anyone, which is something she understands very well.

I do not spend time with nor teach a woman who does not respect those two. If she shows any disrespect towards those, withdraw your attention and get ready to walk away.

Quote:I know & understand this has to be calibrated case by case, but EXAMPLES will help (assuming that one's self control has evolved) more than the "concept" which most of us seem to have understood.

Sure, I can give examples, but don't underestimate concepts. You can always understand something at a higher level than you previously did. When you truly have it in your blood, actions or words are automatic.

Quote:Also, EARLY TRAINING.. I know it starts from Interaction 1, but with younger girls.. I've noticed that until the Bang/ until she is IN with you, the "Stronger Daddy" needs to wait and let the "Fun Daddy" play until she commits..

Maybe letting Strong Daddy out earlier is a good way to filter out the young girls you do not want to wife up. My wife did not act like this at all, she was a virgin before she met me, and never dated anyone, so she didn't do the "not commiting until the bang". I am always Fun Daddy, even when I'm spanking / disciplining my wife (or back when she was just girlfriend status). I led from the beginning, although of course I didn't teach her everything then, just the basics to get her started following me properly.

Quote:@StrikeBack
PPS: Some actual examples of Early Training from your side would be lovely. ESPECIALLY, the Over Knee Spanking movies and how you trained her on that.. (I'd like to learn this PROGRESSION in detail) PLEASE.. That's perfectly playful to start with and can eventually go to INTENSE..

Well the spanking originally came from her starting to act like a 1950s wife and preparing my meals while wearing a sundress or a nice skirt with pretty hairdo. I rewarded that by putting her over my knees and spanking her, just like in the vintage movies we love to watch together. It wasn't used at first as a discipline tool.

The first time I noticed that my wife got jealous of other women giving me attention, I laughed and called her "my jelly baby", then after making her laugh too, I spanked her and made her jelly-legged with some serious banging.

I use spanking also for when she gets upset about some silly stuff and lets her usual very respectful language towards me slip a bit. Note: we use Vietnamese pronouns and phrases to talk to each other, even when talking in English, so it's very easy to detect the slip because the language is highly respectful in that regard, or she speaks entirely English instead e.g saying "Yes Husband" instead of the much more respectful and loving equivalence in Vietnamese.

I really don't have to do corrections or nipping in the bud all that often though. I'd much rather teach her to sort that out herself, with my guidance. I do a lot more positive reinforcements than negative ones. Early on, I told her that I want her to always be my representative, that other people would look at her and say "wow, that is definitely StrikeBack's wife" because she represents me so well and makes me proud. When she does something right, I'd say "now that's my wife" or "that's my good woman" and give her a big kiss. When she stuffs up, I correct her, discipline her and as she understands the lesson, I'd compliment her on learning very fast and being respectful of my teaching and my time through listening to me.

I tell my wife her #1 wife duty, far above sex, cooking and cleaning, is to be my retreat. It means I get to relax and have a good time with her. While I nip every misbehaviour early, I don't have to do so too much, because of that rule. Because if I had to correct her every action, the risk would not be me becoming like her father, instead it would be me walking away because she's clearly the wrong woman for the title of wife. If I ever met any of her BS with silence, it meant something super serious, as in I started to stop caring, and she understands this very well.

Like I said, there is a very clear difference in standards between LTR / Marriage and random girls you want to bang for a little while.

Quote:A passive aggressive text? Word she knows you don't like? Degrading nickname? Getting a reply the next day when she's used to getting them in a few minutes can set her straight. After a while a girl realizes if she brings positivity to the well she'll get some water to bring back with her, if not things will be dry for her.

While this is fine for a short-termed thing (I used to do the same, but mentally I wrote them off), you cannot show any tolerance for this when vetting for a LTR or wife (besides you can't do this if she lives with you). My wife understands the tremendous consequence of disrespecting me. She'd be a goner, at ANY COST, if she pulled any of those. And she never does that, ever. When I nip certain behaviours in the bud, I tell her it is not because I am a nitpicky man, it's because I know when men let their women get away with small nonsenses, it always leads to a big disrespect down the road, and love cannot exist without respect. She understands and always thanks me whenever I need to do so.