Post: #1

I've been traveling basically non-stop the past 3 years. Averaging a new country every 5-6 months. This has led to me having some amazing experiences with women, but also some very painful separations.

How do you guys handle any women in your life that you are having a mini-relationship with? For me, the best I've been able to do is let them know in advance that I will be leaving, and try to enjoy the time we have together.

Sometimes the women are extremely hurt, even if they knew I was leaving. They get very emotional and there's often a lot of tears and a lot of heated whatsapp exchanges.

My last trip is a great example. Was dating a 20 year old 8, with a few fuck buddies on the side. I really liked her, she really liked me, short story is I left, we discussed meeting up in a different country later in 2017, she realized it wouldn't really be feasible, and made the decision to completely forget about me and move on with her life. Her words were basically that it would be too painful to keep contact with me, so after that conversation she immediately blocked me on whatsapp and facebook; I can't even see her profile to see what she's up to.

I prefer to manage these situations better in the future; any advice appreciated.

Post: #2

Nothing you can do really, from my opinion. When you really care about someone and you have to go, both of you are going to hurt.

Saying anything on the contrary is an ego trip or a numbness.

Post: #3

If you can hook up an LTR that quickly with a high SMV woman then is there any good reason not to simply have a bunch of plates and remain dispassionate about all of them?

What you're essentially doing is spending 5 months laying the foundations of a relationship before walking away.

I'm not trying to give you shit when I ask this, but are you a cuddle-junkie? Do you move in with these chicks to reduce your costs of living? What's real reason you're not keeping them at arms length?

Post: #4

(12-21-2016 06:56 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  If you can hook up an LTR that quickly with a high SMV woman then is there any good reason not to simply have a bunch of plates and remain dispassionate about all of them?

What you're essentially doing is spending 5 months laying the foundations of a relationship before walking away.

I'm not trying to give you shit when I ask this, but are you a cuddle-junkie? Do you move in with these chicks to reduce your costs of living? What's real reason you're not keeping them at arms length?

I will answer this from my point of view, which could be right or wrong but it's just how I see it.

Pumping and dumping and moving to the next woman on a constant basis without regard, can be a very lonely lifestyle for some men. It takes a certain type of person to enjoy doing that, usually it's a man where a sense of "freedom" pulls much stronger than a desire for "love". I see myself as one of those men.

But you have to have a balance and take breaks here and there to make sure you still feel love and compassion for something or someone. It feels good to be sick once in a while and have someone bring you soup and lay beside you when you sleep. And when someone cares for you that much, it's easy to develop feelings for them also.

I imagine if a man goes ten years and several hundred notches in and never develops feelings for anyone or letting anyone get close to him, he might be severely damaged and running from something deep that might eventually kill him.

I would say that maybe I meet and get close to 50-100 women a year, and usually I have one woman every year that I will really care and have strong feelings for, and I know I will eventually leave them and both of us will hurt but it's worth the pain because the memories were really good and I connected with them in ways that I can't with one night stands.

Doesn't mean everyone will feel this way or should feel this way, but it's how I see things. So I can understand where KeepMovingForward is coming from.

Post: #5

You're one of the few guys who is upfront enough to admit having tender feelings towards women. I don't know why all these guys try to front like they don't feel genuine feelings of affection for women. All of this pump and dump shit is madness. It is unsustainable, depraved and sick behavior. We damage ourselves as we damage women with each set of pussy we mindlessly "slay".

I myself can't do SNL although I have done them before under the strong influence of alcohol. We try to explain sex in terms of a purely physical act but there are many chemical, mental and spiritual processes at play when we intimately engage another person ( a woman).

I like you, stay in contact with my previous flings although they may have since returned to their home countries (I lived in Hawaii for 3 yrs; highly itinerant place) because I at some point wish to meet them some time later and have a relationship with them. I may be called beta, oneitis prone, what have you, but it's my life and I will live it as I see fit.

Post: #6

(12-21-2016 06:56 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  If you can hook up an LTR that quickly with a high SMV woman then is there any good reason not to simply have a bunch of plates and remain dispassionate about all of them?

I had anywhere from 3 to 5 plates during my time in Peru, and I was dispassionate about those. I liked this girl, and cared about her.

What you're essentially doing is spending 5 months laying the foundations of a relationship before walking away.

That is true, and it's funny I've never actually thought about that before you mentioned it.

I'm not trying to give you shit when I ask this, but are you a cuddle-junkie? Do you move in with these chicks to reduce your costs of living? What's real reason you're not keeping them at arms length?

I've never lived or co-habited with a girl. I'd say 90% of girls I come across I do keep at arms length, the other 10% I like enough to be more than fuck buddies.

Post: #7

Yes! I've had this issue too because I travel full time for going on ten years. Every trip I leave a great love of my life.

Unless you're traveling multiple years like the OP I don't think you can really understand the value MLTRs can have. Being in love with a girl, holding hands, taking trips together, trusting her implicitly with my life is all good shit...

Her doing it while full knowing I'm going to leave her soon and still not ruining every moment with drama is rare and maybe the nicest thing a girl can do for me. Get in an accident and need help? Lose your wallet, passport, etc? She will be right there to hold your hand and facilitate translations. I want to keep those unicorns and fair god mothers in my life. Without them it's way less magical.

Just abandoning it cold heartedly or keeping her at arms length is not necessary. I can love a chick, many in fact at the same time, but still not be manipulated by it.

I build in some safeguards. It's great being able to leave some seasonal clothes, toiletries like bottles of moisturizer I'm not allergic too (hard to find abroad), guidebooks, maps, brochures I collect but didn't get to use. But be prepared to have it thrown out on you or used as leverage. I learned to give her some stuff like above to make the separation less painful and for lightening my load and convenience for return. At some point she will use it as leverage and I let her bc it's natural, but she doesn't know it's stuff I can live without (or does she?). Also nice if you can get a photo together towards the end of your time. Like the ones they sell at tourist traps. Pay the $20 and give it to her with a nice note on the back about how much you love her and appreciate everything she's done for you (that is if you mean it; don't fuck with chicks hearts if you're glad to be getting rid of her).

Sound sappy? Consider he's a stranger in a strange land where most people are going to find him interesting but itinerant and so keep HIM at arms length because of it.

Establishing a real connection with another human being is hard enough when you live your whole life somewhere. Doing it in a few days, weeks, or months is tough. Doing it with an expiration date stamped acrosss your forehead can be extremely difficult. Throw it all away bc you don't know how to handle it? That's something a dumb chick would do. Not an experienced pussy pirate.

The biggest problem is her knowing you have other women. I just lost my Tokyo MLTR bc she checks my social media and sees me with other girls. Even though I pretty much hide it she always knows.

My Chinese MLTRs were 50/50. Some used FB and new. Others didn't bother bc it's blocked. But then my Beijing MLTR makes a wistful romantic timeline comment tagging me in Wechat. Shanghai MLTR sees it. Oops! Just lost a bisexual 21 year old with a nice apt next to Xintiandi. Block Beijing and tell her she'll be done on whatsapp too if she ever does that shit again. Worst is it's always there and I can't delete it from my wechat timeline only burying it with a bunch of photos. (With that one exception wechat is hands down the best chat app worldwide. You can autotranslate, add notes and pics, labels, etc.)

Some girls now you have their girls and accept it. My Laos and Thai MLTR are super traditional and accept that a man is gonna cheat and they can either be a bitch and get tossed by him or they can say wear condoms and ignore it so long as she can believe she's number 1 (or two).

Most girls will often tolerate you having other girls so long as it stays in another country. Its a world away and most chicks travel very little so it's like another dimension to them. People always asked Tokyo if I was her BF and she'd say when he's in Japan. She finally had enough when I went to live in Osaka this summer and was very obviously slaying multiple girls a week. Now she's not special bc I'm fucking other Japanese girls.

Sound bad? This chick got lead on for 10 years by a married man with kids. To this day she insists he wasn't lying and she wasn't lying to herself. That it was just to complicated for him to get a divorce. 10 years and she dated no one else! Meanwhile I told her she's free to do whatever makes her happy bc I'm not a scumbag liar and the most important thing to me is her happiness.

I tell women that I decided to not have children bc I want to live in every world city before I settle down. If they want that they need to date others. I'm not gonna steal their prime mating and baby making years. Guess what? They usually think I'll change my mind and they can win me over by laying off the gas. At least for awhile... like a few years extra relationship time with no drama in my experience. Poof another wave of my magic wand!

This shit was learned through trail and error with lots of pain. And yes most of the good ones will cut you off at some point unless you're going back at least twice a year. Three is much better.

But she better be putting me up, especially if her city requires a connection, is expensive, or there's a seasonal issue causing accommodation issues.

You'd be surprised how many chicks complain they miss me and invite me to visit. Not considering the travel time essentially amounts to a week of my life plus several thousand dollars. Then again this keeps them from coming to visit you more than once and keeps you free to stick your dick into other woman 50 weeks a year.

Break it up so it's never an exact amount of time or else she does math in her head. You'll try to make it there this summer. Shoot X country is taking longer than planned! I'll try to make it by fall.) don't let a year hobby or she will do the math and become very distant.

You also need to be prepared to visit her if something dramatic is going on. My MLTR Yunnan had surgery and I didn't go. She's at home recuperating for months and becoming more distant with her texts.

One thing that really bothers me is how a lot do women don't realize they're shouting themselves in the foot when they deal with me. Like they make traveling together and planning joint vacations way more difficult than it has to be. I ask my MLTR Laos questions like will you be ready to travel with me in Laos between x-xdates. She gets into emotional blackmail about other girls and doesn't answer directly without me being pushy. I ask her do you want to meet me in Phnom Penh? Instead of yes or no I get "I don't know how to do that"? Really cause I saw on FB you flew to Chang Rai a few months ago. Guess who just lost a free all expense paid trip to Cambodia?

But she'll never know that. Why? Zero drama. I don't deal in it. You have to realize these chicks are up against their absolute emotional and mental limit dealing with you. I wouldn't ask a kindergartner to do long division. And trying to teach him would be age inappropriate. Just gonna make the kid cry and everyone feels bad.

MLTRs, chicks that want to be my slave, etc? We are at least a generation of not more from that stuff being openly discussed and acceptable. You do not try to change her paradigm on relationships. Resist that urge. You're just pointing a bayonet at your heart.

One guy told me he tells women I won't lie to you so be careful what you ask me. Maybe you don't really want to know. Etc. that sounds like a threat or a dare so I don't say it. But I also fuck with a lot of chicks who are more traditional and not completely fluent so it's easy to not answer, play it off, act confused hurt, take ur pic. It's ok to lie to not hurt someone's feelings. You already do this everyday.

Chicks aren't dumb. They know what's up. If you can remain emotionally nonthreatening it's way easier to maintain her. But if you're continually bouncing new places she's gonna get jealous and start prying, spying, etc. if you're a social media free person you will get away with a lot more. Unfortunately I use mine as a travel journal so it's all out there.

Good luck. It's worth doing. And not just for free places to stay, avoiding pain, pumping your ego. Because life is short and you need to hold onto the ones you love.

Post: #8

ran into this issue when I met my ex while I was deployed

I went back after I left the military to stay with her, and had no plans on how the relationship could continue past that.

Wish I would've told her straight up "I'm not where I wanna be in life yet, and dragging you along with me isn't good for either of us"

two years later (now) and I'm in a similar predicament, I met a chick I kept in contact with from Melbourne in May, up until now. I told her I'd come back there and stay with her and do relationship shit while I enjoy my time off and push towards this foreign earned income exclusion. However, now I'm looking at Airbnb prices in Melbourne and they are ridiculous, and I don't wanna go anymore.

She wants to go to Thailand, which I'm not too excited about, but it is significantly cheaper than Oz. I'd like to go back to Italy and chase tail with my social group there, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say that, without resulting with her cutting me off forever.

in a perfect world, I'd like to stay in Italy, and visit her for a few weeks in Thailand.

/rant, but, in the end you gotta live your life and do what makes you happy. I make it a point to tell these chicks I'm just passing through their cities yet some still want to tie me down, why, I don't know.

My suggestion is to keep them on a longer string than normal.. but women that like a guy get attached fast and some are willing to do whatever it takes to keep that guy around if she thinks it'll benefit her. You could also include future plans to go back to see her, or travel together in the future (be serious about it though) that way she's not pissed off at you or whatever, and has some hope left lol

Post: #9

I am a little late to this thread but it seems to be something that applies to a lot of guys on the forum so I'm surprised it didn't get more responses.

The best advice I can give based on my experience is:

First, try to give girls an exact date for your departure. You want to avoid ambiguity. Telling a girl in April that you already have a plane ticket for July 20th makes it easier for her to prepare emotionally. If you wait until July 1st to by that same ticket on July 20th then she might get dramatic about you leaving.

Second, don't expect things to the stay the same if you return unless you have specific plans to return that are discussed before you leave. Girls will find new men and change how they feel about you. Most importantly, they will be hurt when you leave if they have feelings for you and they will remember that hurt when you return. They will want to avoid going through that again so their attitude toward you can change a lot.

(12-21-2016 06:56 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  If you can hook up an LTR that quickly with a high SMV woman then is there any good reason not to simply have a bunch of plates and remain dispassionate about all of them?

What you're essentially doing is spending 5 months laying the foundations of a relationship before walking away.

I'm not trying to give you shit when I ask this, but are you a cuddle-junkie? Do you move in with these chicks to reduce your costs of living? What's real reason you're not keeping them at arms length?

I don't understand this comment. Why should he remain dispassionate about the girl? Why not be passionate about her? Why not be passionate about multiple girls? Why should he be keeping these girls at arm's length?

I don't necessarily agree that he is laying the foundations of a serious relationship. It depends on his actions but these types of relationships tend to be more casual when the girl knows you are leaving.

(12-22-2016 06:40 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  snip

I know guys skip through a lot of the long comments. This one is worth reading.
+1

Post: #10

Great thread idea guys. I too would like to hear the strategies of travel LTR's.

Post: #11

I've always just found it helpful to be upfront with every girl. I let them know from the beginning that I travel a lot, I enjoy the company of many women from around the world. With some of these women, I build close relationships while I am in their city. We do everything normal couples do while I'm there and it's great. I always keep in contact with these women and sometimes meet up with them again later.

There is always the possibility for pain and heartache in these situations though. It's just part of being human. I don't think there really is anything you can do to prevent it besides opting out of closeness. I choose not to deprive myself of that experience though. Sometimes the women decide they don't like it and move on. That's just part of the game. I'd be lying if I said that didn't hurt sometimes but my love of travel and variety is stronger than my desire to settle down anywhere.

Post: #12

Like its been said in here, these MTR are always golden because they are long enough to get intimacy and short enough to avoid drama.

But its a fairy tale adventure romance.

If you stick around it will turn the way of other LTRS.

Post: #13

(12-21-2016 01:42 PM)KeepMovingForward Wrote:  I prefer to manage these situations better in the future; any advice appreciated.

You can't; this is a direct outcome of the action you're engaging in, as opposed to an aberration you can remedy. Just put it down on the balance sheet of whether to continue doing it or not.

Post: #14

I will share my experience with this:

During my studytime , i did an exchange semester at china from september till january. I met there an amazing chinese girl and fell in love and we were about 3 months together then in january, i needed to return to my hometown to do my 2nd semester. I remember her crying whole day and wearing my T-shirts and sweaters on wechat video, and writing me endless letters. She said she preferred dying at the moment, at least she wouldn't suffer that time. And i when i was waving her at the airport , my heart was broken either. We did literally everything together and we lived together in the same flat.

I promised her to come back, what i did either during my eastern holidays ( i spend all my free time working to pay my travel expenses). I think, the lack of beautiful and warm girls and approachable girls in my homecountry even made me more depressed. Like roosh said in his last postcast: when you see the shores of Paradise, it's really hard to go back to the slums. And this is 100% true. It makes it even more depressing and you can't do anything about it. In china, you got a lot of attention, if you are a white tall guy and it's easy to compete with the local guys , and they are really warm girls, so go back to western europe then is like from heaven to hell.

If i would go to South america ( brazil, Colombia,..) , there would maybe be another feeling but i was going back to Western europe. The country where you go next after where you leave your "love" is very important in the process to accept your sadness, at least i experienced this. I'm still in touch with this chinese girl and she may visit me soon in Poland. But seperating at a time where you really don't want to and especially in this study age, where you need to raise up your confidence because in the western countries you'll lose it again if you stay to long.