Post: #1

Recently, I've been battling some depression about some times when I didn't stand up for myself when being bullied and being insulted in my school years. I have fought back before at times when I wouldn't get in trouble. It seemed like when I did fight back in school in a class, I would always get in trouble for it and the bully would be seen as the victim. The bad times when I didn't are popping up when I'm in a rut with my job and life.

Are you always a wuss for not fighting back or it is worth it to give someone a good old fashioned fist to the face? I don't really talk about it with family or even my counselor because all I hear is "get over it, it's over". I've just never really learned to handle it or let it go.

It just seems people are in a no-win scenario when they stand up for themselves. I have become assertive through books like "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and with family members who don't realize they are pestering me with decisions. I did tell an acquaintance to stop bashing DC Films because they're weren't the quality of Marvel's films (I heard it constantly on social media) and they got defensive.

Have any red-pillers been through this before? How have you handled it?

Post: #2

I felt similar to this in highschool and a bit in college. What I did, was start praying, and offering the sufferings up to christ. Sometimes it helps to fight back, but most of the time, especially against betas or bullies, it isn't worth it. What would be better would start laughing manically and freak them out (that got me out of a few fights) or get really really angry and start shouting or going berserk, but do not hit them. Once you hit them, it becomes assault and a ride with the cops should anybody call the cops.

Post: #3

Its important to know when to fight back, and know when to walk away.

An acquaintance talking shit about comic books is not something to get worked up about, unless he is saying demeaning things about you such as "how could you like this"? Cases like this where its not directed at you, you don't need to say anything at all. Telling someone to stop bashing something is actually a defensive action, so in this case it was actually you who got defensive first.

Medidate about what you want from life, and then let your actions dictate make it a reality. Giving someone a fist to the face may feel good, but it will rarely improve your life. Finding a new job or new friends will get you further than lashing out at existing ones.

When you are in the mindset of working towards your life mission, the petty stuff such as people talking shit about comic books, or literally anything else that doesn't involve you direcly suddenly becomes less important. I've gone through periods of depression myself, and its easy to get bogged down with the way other peolle have treated you, and the feeling that its not fair.

This is why its important to medidate, or reflect on what you want out of life, and how you can make kt happen. Be respectful to other people, but realize you don't need their approval to reach your goals. Friends and women should supplement your happiness with life, not the other way around where your happiness is dependent on their approval.

Post: #4

Kurgan, listen to me.

You're overweight, you were picked on and bullied your whole life, you get defensive with acquaintances over DC/Marvel comic books, and you spend your spare time teaching yourself SQL.

You can see where I'm going with this without saying it?

Now, what can you do to change yourself?

Reading "Hello Mr. Nice Guy" or whatever and reading maniosphere blogs is not going to set you straight. You're still going to end up being you, trying to be someone else and following someone else's belief system without creating your own.

You need a vision quest where you walk your own path. You need to go out into the world and live. If you want to evolve into the kind of man who is unshakable and desired by women, you need to leave everything you know behind and find yourself. Your psychologist isn't going to help you.

There are many ways of doing this. Everyone has their own journey.

One way is maybe spend a few months in Alaska, hunting for your own food. Run the hills and chop wood, lose all that fat. Then lay on the ground at 5 am and put a bullet inside a large game. Stand next to it as it dies and feel its pain. Then skin it, clean it, separate it, and cook it, all in order to survive yourself. See mortality for what it is. True survival is much more complicated than buying a lb of 80/20 chuck at Kroger.

But that's just the first step of a long journey.

Once you see life as transitory, and you learn to survive under any circumstance and in any environment, people can see it in your eyes. They no longer fuck with you. Comic books and highschool bullies will no longer be things you worry about.

Always remember,

The questions you ask, determine your life.
The problems you have, determine your life.

As you progress into becoming a masculine man, you'll ask much better questions and have much bigger problems than what you see within others around you.

Post: #5

To piggyback off of Linux's excellent post, my advice would be just to live well.

What is living well? Not being a loser. Making good money, taking care of yourself mentally and physically, getting a good education. Eating well, sleeping well, exercising, playing sports, taking any of these skills you've developed and building a product the world has never seen before, then selling that product for a massive profit. Or just becoming good at your job where you get promoted and make a solid six figure income.

Not making babies, making debt, causing hurt or acting like a fool. Self protection. Taking care of yourself and your loved ones. Being a cool guy. Having friends.

Build the basics and get out into the world. Live well by seeing the world.

We all still get tripped up on our past, but where it will burn you, is if you carry this hurt and embarrassment with you your whole life. You have to accept it happened, and be ok with it. Just accept it. And move on. Then live well. Sometimes little things can seem quite important, but in reality, you may just end up doing better than most people you know at this stage in your life.

Post: #6

Thanks everyone for the reply.

I think I wrote this post when I was a little down and didn't explain things clearly so I wanted to clarify something. I don't honestly get defensive about Marvel/DC as I enjoy both film franchises but I got tired of the constant bashing of DC Films everywhere from media to Facebook posts, I've been seeing it for years and I got sick of it. If someone said the same thing to you over and over, wouldn't you want them to shut up.

I understand the journey though. I'll take it next year.

Post: #7

Also you can go to a martial arts gym. Preferably something legit.

Post: #8

If you are honestly upset over a fucking comic book movie franchise, I'm not sure we can help you.

While you don't have to necessarily go live off the land in the harshness of Alaska (though that would be ideal), you do have to make a move to toughen up.

Depression occurs when who you are is too far off from who you want to be. I've lived in cities and worked jobs that weren't congruent with who I was. I ended up getting bummed out and drinking away the cognitive dissonance.

You need to make a change.

Move to a new city, a new state, a new country. Hit the reset button and start fresh. You need to gain some perspective. The only way to do that is to get out of your comfort zone.

I'm far from being an expert, I have a ways to go. But I'm on the right track. When I go visit my hometown, I've been told I have a certain look in my eye. It's could be misconstrued as arrogance, but it's really just being completely self-assured and confident in who I am.

I was slightly awkward and not confident in high school like most guys. My buddies who never left town still carry that burden into their mid and late twenties. I've traveled and lived in enough states that when I go back to visit, it makes them uncomfortable.

Take a chance. Pack up and move across the country. Do something. Get mugged. Get into a bar fight. Again, just do something. You can never be happy if you're stagnant.

You can't wait for a deadline. "I'll do it next year." turns into, "I'll do it in other two years once I do x, y, or z."

Make a change. Get into the driver's seat. Make something happen.

Otherwise your life is going to continue on the same tangent and you'll look back in 30 years wondering where you fucked up.

The biggest regrets elderly people have isn't what they did, it's what they didn't do. Fuck taking the safe route. Take the hardest route you can imagine. Future you will thank you.

Post: #9

(12-10-2016 11:43 PM)Kurgan Wrote:  Thanks everyone for the reply.

I think I wrote this post when I was a little down and didn't explain things clearly so I wanted to clarify something. I don't honestly get defensive about Marvel/DC as I enjoy both film franchises but I got tired of the constant bashing of DC Films everywhere from media to Facebook posts, I've been seeing it for years and I got sick of it. If someone said the same thing to you over and over, wouldn't you want them to shut up.

I understand the journey though. I'll take it next year.

You want the simplest advice for the journey?

Don't take it next year. Take it now. Or take the first step now.

Why are you making the journey next year? What is stopping you? Understand: your ego does not want you to change. It likes you as the depressed, dysfunctional person you are. That person is predictable. Easy to live with. Easy to control. Your ego will find any number of excuses, rationalisations, and self-doubts to prevent you from doing the work required to change. One of the best insights you can internalise is this: whatever you are feeling the most resistance against in your life is the most essential area to push hard into, because it's the area which most demands growth. It's the area your ego fears you confronting the most, because your ego knows if you overcome the challenge in that area, change is much likelier.

Also essential is the concept of momentum. When you take some massive action to change things, when you change your circumstances, you do one important thing: you force your brain to cope with new stimuli. Your brain is highly efficient because it's lazy: if you get the same stimuli every day, you shunt your responses to those stimuli down to unconscious habits. Change your circumstances, introduce new stimuli, and your brain is shocked into having to think consciously again.

Momentum is important because if you make some change in your life, and hold onto it -- at least for 30 days -- you begin to prime your brain to say "Whoa, okay, shit will not be like it has been before, I need to start paying attention to things." Change is then possible. Just don't wait to start. If you do you will likely be falling into a past pattern of deciding to change your life on New Years' Day - which your ego is perfectly okay with, because it's been with you when you've tried that before and failed, so it knows exactly how to hit your resolutions. Change yourself unexpectedly. Try something different now, even if it's to take a different route to the store or to your work or whatever. Talk to someone different. Do something. Don't resolve. Plan out your change, certainly, but don't plan when to change. Just change.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #10

I take back what I said about DC/Marvel, I was wrong. My original post turned into a rant because I was in a very bad mood and I kept things bottled up for years. Change started today and I told the ego to go screw itself.

Post: #11

Drop the comic books and get out and live man. There is an amazing world out there to experience. Comic books and Hollywood films are time wasters.

You need to realize that you are arguing over shit that doesn't matter. It is wasted energy that could be spent on self discovery and self improvement. You need to find out who you are and what you are made of. There are many ways to do this, I suggest travel. Also get the hell off Facebook, another major time waster. Delete your account. Will be a great start towards self improvement.

Also I think you could benefit from reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
-Marcus Aurelius

Post: #12

iam1albertan,

I did deactivate Facebook a year ago and don't plan on going back anytime soon.

What does Marcus Aurelius talk about in Meditations?

Post: #13

(12-12-2016 10:10 PM)Kurgan Wrote:  iam1albertan,

I did deactivate Facebook a year ago and don't plan on going back anytime soon.

What does Marcus Aurelius talk about in Meditations?

The book in essence is Marcus Aurelius's personal philosophical journal: it's written with the emperor addressing himself as to how he ought behave and the right mindsets to have. In essence it is a Roman Emperor writing himself a self-help book, in the winter of his life with only a few years left to him.

Much of the the Emperor's thinking is influenced by Stoicism, that is, the school of philosophy/life that essentially teaches to bear difficulties, doubts, disturbances with equanimity and great dignity, but also teaches a certain way of looking at the world. That said, it's not just a stoic text: Marcus Aurelius was the Emperor of the Roman Empire, and as such he had his own peculiar take on stoicism.

The most famous pop culture reference to Marcus Aurelius is a quote attributed to Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs when Clarice Starling asks for his help in finding Buffalo Bill: "Read Marcus Aurelius: 'Of each thing consider itself; what is its nature?' What does he do, this man you seek?" Thomas Harris had Hannibal Lecter adopt or utilise stoicism since it was a handy tool for a guy most likely to be spending the rest of his life in incarceration.

That said, many people have found it at least a comfort. It essentially counsels an atheist point of view, although probably more agnostic given stoicism essentially held there was an order to existence unknown to men, but that as far as men could tell existence was matter and void and little more. This led to it being read favourably by later Christian writers. Contrast this with its contemporary school, Epicureanism, which basically held that there was matter and void and nothing more, which the Stoics had a problem with, and which Christianity only preserved as a heretical text in its monasteries.

Meditations is worth at least a read if not a skim in order to absorb one of the earlier self-help manuals out there, propagating one of the more enduring forms of philosophy man still has to hand.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #14

Kurgan

I too was bullied. The teachers supported the bullies. My red pill was taken when I took on Ebay, EE, Experian and the DWP twice, and won every single time.

Post: #15

Interesting story DevilsMoJo.

I realize the little rant I had in regards to comics was just realizing how much I play poker and hang with a collection of weirdos weekly. Some of them played Magic a lot, some were furries and bronies and were comfortable where they were in life. Basically, they're a bunch of man-children. I read the article from ROK how American men have been cucked at Comic-Con.

Post: #16

OP, don't wait 'til next year to "start the journey." Do it now. Otherwise you might end up continuously "preparing to prepare" and never really accomplish anything.

Post: #17

(12-17-2016 10:59 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  OP, don't wait 'til next year to "start the journey." Do it now. Otherwise you might end up continuously "preparing to prepare" and never really accomplish anything.

I've already started. Thanks for the reminder!

Post: #18

The cure for weakness is strength. Go lift some weights. Get strong. It's hard to feel hopeless and weak when you know you can haul a ton of iron up and down. The confidence will spill over into your other relationships too.

Once you are in a position of strength, you will be in a better position to judge whether a fight is worth fighting. It sounds like you are very insecure at the moment. That is the wrong place to be when deciding whether to fight or not.

I talk from personal experience. Make of it what you will.

Post: #19

(12-18-2016 12:15 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  The cure for weakness is strength. Go lift some weights. Get strong. It's hard to feel hopeless and weak when you know you can haul a ton of iron up and down. The confidence will spill over into your other relationships too.

Once you are in a position of strength, you will be in a better position to judge whether a fight is worth fighting. It sounds like you are very insecure at the moment. That is the wrong place to be when deciding whether to fight or not.

I talk from personal experience. Make of it what you will.

Thanks, I am going to hit weights in the morning.