Post: #1

:hearto last night, it was cold. Really epic cold. Like minus and shit. I got this flat, with 2 en suites. It is a mess because my cleaner left to live somewhere else. She was not hot, so I was not bothered.

This one dude who is also a Roosh member is staying with me for the weekend. He is a gook. And we started drinking, and then my other friend come, and he come in some shit clothes. Looked like a lunber jack. Im like, wear some of my clothes. He be like OK. So I get him smart. Shirt and my old green or brown coat with the rips and stains. So we drinking inside, playing sing star. And then we go out.

We go out into the town and do a couple bars, and then go to some other bars. Meet people. Small town. I am a doorman around here so people sometimes recognize me. In one of the bars this girl (24) who is OK would bang I spoke to her weeks ago and she was into me. I had a girl at the time. Shes gone now. So I said hi and she was like OMG its you. Then I walked off. I ran into her at another place later on. We will call her FF. Anyway at one of the places I work I kept throwing up everywhere. No one noticed. Me and some kid I don’t know where literally throwing up all over the place, at a place I work, and no one noticed cept my friends. It was hilarious. I was also complainging someone owed £20, and yelling, then throwing up everywhere.

So we go to the last club / pub that is open. I am seriously seriously wasted. This fat girl, named V, my mate has rattled it. Absolute mess. She is trying to fucking get on me as she lieks me a lot. I had to kiss my cousin (male) and pretend we were gay. It didn’t work. I then had to plead with my mate to knock me out, I was begging him to knock me out so I wasn’t hounded by this fat girl. He wouldn’t though, the cunt. Anyway he did manage to drag me away from her and that’s when I saw F again. She spoke about some shit and I tried to kiss it and she said no so I walked off. She must have followed me. Then we spoke a bit and I got to kiss it a bit. Then I had to leave because someone had my phone. But we exchanged details and been speaking today.

I randomly met some folks I knew from years ago, and he is really tall. There was one guy as tall as him on the dance floor, so I told him to attack him. He did. It was fun. At closing time, I have a posse now of me, my 2 mates, 3 other guys, and this guy who works with us and that fat fucking bird. We all ended up at my flat except for the one who wouldn’t hit me as he went off with this hot 18 year old. I bigged him up a lot to her saying he like saved my from drowning or some shit I cant remember. But he kinda fucked it up when he was crying a bit. So I asked her to suck him off to make him feel better. She laughed. But did kiss him. Im like cupid.

So we end up at myt flat. I am literally in pain from alcohol and also tiredness. For some reason I got everyone to take their shirts off in my flat. So we were all topless parading around. The gook went to bed instantly he was tired as shit. I made sure everyone was OK and topless then I also went to bed. Im in bed, I slept a bit then the seriouslyu rough fat bird comes into my bedroom. She like had a piss in my en suite bog and it was the loudest, most sickening, urination, I have ever had the misfortune to experience. And once a dog weed in my mouth. I was camping at the time. Anyway, im tired, and like go sleep. She gets in bed with me, and puts her leg over my and starts kissing me. Im drunk, and horny, but then I felt it. She was gross. I was texting my friend pleading with him, to save me. He did not reply, but today told me, he was laughing when reading those messages. The cunt. This is what the texts read:-
Where are you
I have children
Dude come save me
[The fat girls name] has got into the flat
Luckily, I told the fat girl I needed a piss and managed to get out of the bedroom and went to the other room where my gook friend was sleeping. Almost in tears, I said to him, that fat girl is trying to have sex with me, will you please go and fuck it? He said hell no. I said, I will have to sleep in the bed with you then, he said OK but don’t steal the covers. Which I did as it was cold. And I was just in my boxers.

In the morning, I had to give the fat girl a lift home. She was rude so I told her off. She apologized. I think one of the guys did shag her in my bed (actually just a mattress on the floor). One time I hid under the bed and my cousin had this girl above me. It was hilarious when I jumped out.

I felt fucking ill all morning. Us 3 are sitting here writing this out. It was a weird night.

Post: #2

(11-26-2016 02:20 PM)LordTBE Wrote:  So we drinking inside, playing sing star. And then we go out.

I had to kiss my cousin (male) and pretend we were gay.

I got everyone to take their shirts off in my flat. So we were all topless parading around.

once a dog weed in my mouth.

Im drunk, and horny, but then I felt it. She was gross. I was texting my friend pleading with him, to save me.

I said, I will have to sleep in the bed with you then, he said OK but don’t steal the covers. Which I did as it was cold. And I was just in my boxers.

OP sounds like a faggot.

Post: #3

This .gif has as much informational content as OP's post.

Post: #4

Error 404 Alfa not found.

Surprised after getting everyone topless you didn't turn around and tell everyone to "go home".

Post: #5

Post: #6

I am not sure what to make of this thread.

Post: #7

LordTBE= Lord Touches Balls Everywhere.

Post: #8

What I want to know is.....

Who is the "gook" RVF member OP mentioned?

Post: #9

Warning Troll Alert!!!

Post: #10

(11-26-2016 04:55 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I am not sure what to make of this thread.

Read the OP and thought:

Post: #11

It was a pretty funny read.

I give it a 7.2/10 on the troll scale.

I had to take away 1 point for racist comments and another for stating he met with a forum member without disclosing siad forum members username (hence I think it was a bullshit claim).

Post: #12

It wasn't racist that is how he describes himself. Apologizes for it sounding that way in no way am I like that. Also yes it does sound gay but that is why it was funny figured some might like to read it. Was a fun night. And will ask for username but we met at the roosh meet up last year in london.

Post: #13

Don't worry, I don't think there's any chance he'll be admitting he hung out with you.

Post: #14

Sounds like a typical night out somewhere in England.

Post: #15

This thread has potential.

Post: #16

Can we ban the Troll OP? Incoherent, badly written threads like this do this forum no justice.

Post: #17

"We" can't ban anyone. Roosh could if he wanted.

Personally, I agree with Suits. This thread has potential. I thought OP's incoherent rant quite hilarious.

Post: #18

Post: #19

I thought an alfa was short for alfalfa.

Post: #20

But wait... also

Post: #21

(11-26-2016 02:20 PM)LordTBE Wrote:  And once a dog weed in my mouth.

I'd like to know more about this before I judge.

Post: #22

OP is ten years old. And gay.

He wrote the post while banging the fat chick.

Post: #23

TL;DR

OP got naked with a bunch of guys and one fat, ugly cow.

Post: #24

Forum rules state no faggots.

Post: #25