Post: #1

So I've been improving my life ever since I found ROK three years ago.

This may be a long post.

background on me
Im 21, junior in college for construction management
Currently building my own house in Indiana, but still live with my dad
obsessed with fitness,bodybuilding, and business
I work as a property manager for my income.
My dream is to be a Navy Seal

Cons:
I've never been in a serious relationship. The only girl I dated was my freshman year of college, and it was only for month or so. One side of me says I shouldn't give a shit, but then the other side feels this is a problem. Im a attractive guy, and I get hit on every now and then in class(sometimes even gay guys). However, I never really felt the drive to pursue a woman who pursued me? Plenty of chances have come up, but I seem to pass them by. I've started Nofap and it helps. I bought day game and it has helped tremendously. I did 8 approaches on the street last month and got 1 number. Overall I love my life, but I feel that the inexperience puts me at a disadvantage in other aspects. Im a very driven and motivated person, but this has always been my weak link. I have always had a couple of friends who seem to drag me down. So, I've slowly started to get rid of them and look for people on the path Im on. I keep very busy and love my life, but how would you reflect on my situation from your viewpoint? I thought about joining a frat.

Post: #2

Sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you overall. You say you are attractive naturally and (I assume) in great shape based on your love of bodybuilding. These things will both help tremendously. Here are a few things I would say.

1. Are you a virgin? If so, then by "passing" on chicks, you really do not know what you are missing. If this is the case, I would say that you should take one of these interactions to completion to see what you are really passing up. That may change your mind. If you are not a virgin, how regularly are you having sex? Again, if not very often, I would give the same advice as above.

2. Frat - Yes, joining a frat would be helpful if you are trying to meet women, as they get access to the sororities more so than an average jimmy. I am not sure that is what you are implying though, as it sounds like you have access but are passing on it. Do you have male friends? Frats can also offer some level of male companionship (just be sure to join one where you like the guys).

I guess what it comes down to is that you need to figure out what you are looking for. Better male companionship? Girlfriend? Meaningless sex? Something else? By answering that, I think that the forum members will be better able to help you. Getting rid of friends who bring you down and making cold approaches is a good start, however.

Post: #3

(11-06-2016 11:39 AM)DRE Wrote:  Sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you overall. You say you are attractive naturally and (I assume) in great shape based on your love of bodybuilding. These things will both help tremendously. Here are a few things I would say.

1. Are you a virgin? If so, then by "passing" on chicks, you really do not know what you are missing. If this is the case, I would say that you should take one of these interactions to completion to see what you are really passing up. That may change your mind. If you are not a virgin, how regularly are you having sex? Again, if not very often, I would give the same advice as above.

2. Frat - Yes, joining a frat would be helpful if you are trying to meet women, as they get access to the sororities more so than an average jimmy. I am not sure that is what you are implying though, as it sounds like you have access but are passing on it. Do you have male friends? Frats can also offer some level of male companionship (just be sure to join one where you like the guys).

I guess what it comes down to is that you need to figure out what you are looking for. Better male companionship? Girlfriend? Meaningless sex? Something else? By answering that, I think that the forum members will be better able to help you. Getting rid of friends who bring you down and making cold approaches is a good start, however.

I would say I really just need a girlfriend. I feel like my lifestyle is setting me up to be lonely. I leave my house early in the mourning and get home late at night. Usually I would have a good social life at the gym especially, but I've had to go early in the mourning when few people are there. I know companionship is known to be a redpill myth, but I think now I need a taste.

Post: #4

We're not all wired the same. You sound a lot like me in many respects.

You have your life in order for a 21 year old. That in itself can be an alienating thing - particularly if you are not easily given to the frivolity that is so effortless to most men.

You say that you have not felt the drive to chase girls who have made themselves open to you. I still do this all the time, and it's often a combination of obliviousness and apathy. The more full your life is of wonderful things, the less likely you are to be motivated by the relatively minor success of shagging an unremarkable girl.

I think it is important to understand that it may simply not be your season for women yet, and let it go. I just turned 27, and I'm only just now really becoming caddishly interested - and even then, only really in very attractive girls. Many men are driven by a need for validation from women - they get something back that boosts their perception of self when they can add another conquest to their game book. Of course, most would be reluctant to admit this, and that's fine, but it is what drives many of your contemporaries. If it doesn't drive you, then you should not be overly preoccupied with trying to fuck random moderately attractive girls for the sake of it. If you're anything like me you will find that to be a wholly unsatisfying, and indeed demeaning endeavour.

I am not advocating that you give up on girls, or suppress any desires. What I am suggesting is that some men are better engaging in other things until someone comes along that really excites their instincts - then you should do everything in your power to get your leg over. If you are naturally social, and indeed even if you are not, it makes sense to cultivate your friendships and try to naturally find yourself in situations where you are mixing with very attractive girls. The apathy you feel is probably in part a reflection of the quality you're exposed to.

I would not recommend having a relationship for the sake of it. I did that when I was twenty, and it was one of the worst things I ever did. Like you, I felt that I was the odd one out - that I was 'weird' for not having had a relationship. So I got into one because I thought that was the sensible thing to do. It was one of the least fulfilling and most frustrating periods of my life, and I have successfully avoided one ever since. For me personally, I find prolonged exposure to any girl to be a kind of cruel and inhuman torture. You may not be the same in this regard, but if you don't feel any particular draw to one, the last thing you should do is constrain yourself by shackling yourself to someone you're ambivalent about.

Nor should you adopt the player lifestyle simply because you think that is the right thing to do. A lot of my friends believe I get laid like a rockstar, and it simply isn't true. If I could simply snap my fingers and have nice trim coming over to fuck, then that would be one thing. But I don't, as at this point in my life, to get laid, I still have to invest some not insignificant amount of time into getting her into bed. Unless she is very pretty, I am not able to muster sufficient interest; an exception is if the girl is really making it obvious that she's putting it on a plate, at which point I will shag her, but usually feel pretty wretched after when she wants to kiss and cuddle and I'm trying to work out how the hell I get out of there in the shortest possible order without causing a tantrum.

Ultimately you may simply need to understand what kind of man you are. If you don't need validation from women, and you don't feel any particular drive to fuck unremarkable ones, then my advice would be to accept that and move on.

None of this is to suggest that every man that goes after girls needs it for validation, or does it for any 'hidden' reason. Check out some of Giovonny's posts to see what a guy who really loves chasing girls for the sport of it looks like. This dude is putting in work every day to get girls because he LOVES the game. I love to read what he writes, in part because I'm nothing like that, and when he writes about it you get a glimpse of something that would otherwise be hard to understand. But you can't fake being a guy like Gio. What would wear me down in a week is what he thrives off, and equally the lifestyle I love would most likely wear him down. Neither is right or wrong, one must simply recognise that a difference exists, and that that's ok.

Post: #5

H1N1's post above rings very true for me. When I was 21 and relatively inexperienced, I still had a strong need for validation from women, due largely to the fact that I was never a natural. I always had to work for it, and it always drove me crazy that for some guys game just seemed to come so easily.

I still have this desire for validation, but what I've found is that the further down the red pill rabbit hole I go, the less and less I derive my validation from outside sources. It took me a long time to really wake up and internalize this shit, but the more I focus on self improvement the easier it gets. For reference, I'm 26 now, and I found this forum about 2 years ago. Sounds like you are way ahead of me.

My recommendation is find a decent girl to shack up with for maybe ~6 months or so, a little mini relationship. For me to change, this was a crucial and necessary step. I had to have a girlfriend + get a taste of what relationships were really like to get it out of my system. This allowed me to stop obsessing about it, and to be able to finally move forward with my life in a positive way.

Post: #6

You sound somewhat like me when I was younger...

If you're a good looking 21 year old guy in America, getting laid is a non-issue, even with good looking women.

Now, getting laid with good looking women with solid character, that is much more difficult than elsewhere, and it's more finding them than conquering them that's the issue.

If you're just trying to get laid, though, I recommend you move to a place where you can walk to a bar/campus, go out every day, and have a beer or two before you go out, to loosen up.

Make sure you live close enough to the action, so you don't have to drive.

Another alternative is to become roommates with the most social guy you know, the guy that throws keggers. That works too, the girls will simply come over to your place without you having to do anything in that scenario. Some of them will be attractive.

If you do this, your odds of getting laid with a good looking, young American girl should be close to 100%. She may have tattoos, drink alcohol, smoke weed, or have psychological problems, but if all you're trying to do is get laid, that's not hard at all.

If you can't do either of these things, you can still drive to where the action is and game every day, but then you risk a DWI or worse.

You could also not drink, and depending on your personality, that might be best, but I wouldn't know unless I knew you better.

I generally don't do this anymore, because I value character quite highly now, but if I want to, I can just put on my blazer, head to downtown Austin, and usually some girl will come up to me and grab my bicep or kiss me or ask me to kiss them.

The last time I went out, about 2 months ago, one girl looked at me and said, "Hey, Casanova!" Another girl wouldn't break eye contact as she was walking towards me (with a guy's arm around her, lol), and when we got close, she yelled out, "Hot stuff!" I also got hit on by a guy, he said, "You're perfect," but that's neither here nor there, lol.

So yeah, if you're a good looking guy, just make sure your style is on point and you should be good to go. I go with leather-soled dress shoes, a matching leather belt, blue jeans, a black v neck, a tailored blazer, longer hair, sometimes with a beard, and sometimes without.

It's just not hard here in America, man, IF all you're looking for is to get laid.

If you're looking for a girlfriend, it's not so black and white, some of the girls you meet through the above methods may be all right for a year of dating or so, and you may get lucky and find a diamond in the rough.

Overall, though, if you want quality in America...well, in that case, welcome to the forum, man.