Post: #26

(10-30-2016 09:14 AM)ivansirko Wrote:  Hugs are one of the tells of "friend zone". Most women who want to friend zone you will hug you as your their "friend". Just try breaking that. Maybe its a shit test and she wants you but you beta all across the street.

Or if you can't break the friend zone enjoy the only moments you can get close to a woman.

Its true. Woman do hug to put you in the friend zone but its up to you to take yourself out. Hugs isn't the only way to friendzone us. I used hugs in the past to take myself out of the frirndzone. How? It was how I hugged her and how I looked at her as i was coming off and holding her hand a slight second after the hug as I gave her that laser eye stare. I was subconciously telling her I wanted to fuck her. And I did, obviously not just because of a hug, but my point is take advantage of any kino you can.

Post: #27

Am I the only one that likes giving girls hugs?

When I meet a girl I might want to fuck and they try to shake my hand I tell them I only do hugs. It's rare that they deny it.

I won't hug them if I don't want to fuck them, haven't fucked them or am not trying.

Post: #28

(10-30-2016 08:26 PM)realologist Wrote:  Am I the only one that likes giving girls hugs?

When I meet a girl I might want to fuck and they try to shake my hand I tell them I only do hugs. It's rare that they deny it.

I won't hug them if I don't want to fuck them, haven't fucked them or am not trying.

Especially when they press up into you with all their perkiness.

Post: #29

(10-30-2016 06:45 PM)Chowder Head Wrote:  This situation OP is in just goes to show you -- its best to be standoffish with today's woman because they are easily offended by ANYTHING. Even a fuckin' hug. Stick to hi-5s, head nods, and thumbs ups.

The danger zone is fat, unattractive coloured-hair bitches.

Those are the type that accuse men of "touching them inappropriately" because it infers that they're sexually desirable and "inappropriate" is based on their opinion so is therefore inarguable.

I knew a 50something woman who was a dead set hog, even for her age. She literally spoke of nothing but the constant barrage of unwanted advances she got from men, each more outlandish than the last.

Some of the more renowned members are making a good point about hug-game, but they have the game level to pull that kind of stuff off and would deploy it rather selectively I imagine. I can't see PR hugging trigglypuff because her hot friend just introduced her though.

Post: #30

As others have said, hugs can be a way to initiate kino at the outset. Breaks the physical barrier. Its all about intent and sub-communication.

Post: #31

Odds are OP is massively overweight. They are more than likely disgusted by your large mounds of fat and general sloppiness. There's no other explanation for it. If you're even half way decent looking a you can get a "sincere hug" from a chick.

She'll just make sure to annoy you for the next hour while sipping on her Starbucks about how "that Comte is such a MASSSIIIVVVEEE DIIIICCCCKKK LIKE O M G!!!!!"

Post: #32

I'm personally not a touchy feely guy so the number of women I would even consider letting hug me I've known for going on 2+ years now and it's 3 tops. And they're good for their contacts, bought me booze/packs of smokes/etc., and have done things for me so there's a genuine appreciation for them as my few female friends.

Post: #33

I am a married guy. My wife has some decent girl friends. Some married some single. They are good family friends that we meet on special occasions or just for the kids to play together.

I do not hug them, period. I will greet them or shake hands. Its sends a message that hugging me is going into a sexual zone.

The only ones I will consider hugging are those that I am poking or poked.

I like it that way.

The only people I hug is female family members , my mother, and my children. If you have a wife like me. Then even hugging her must be controlled. Too much comes across as beta. Hugs are rewards for good behavior or pleasing you.

Recently a family friend came home to drop off a parcel and she came in for the hug. Caught me unawares. I never put my arms around her. She is a write off in any case. Wont let that happen again. Must keep frame.......always.

Whats the view on man hugs. The ones you see these days when guys meet. I am not for this to. I prefer to shake hands.

Post: #34

^ Men?

Family. Blood brothers.

Fag-hugging some douchebag that wouldn't help you bury a body is homo central.

Post: #35

If a girl I'm not having sex with hugs on me I rest my hand on their ass like they are my girlfriend. Maybe give it a pat if no one will see. They usually smile. Come to think of it I do the same thing with the ones I am banging.

Post: #36

No comment on OP's specific issue, but I disagree with the consensus on hugging in general. In an era when hugging platonic female acquaintances is the norm, the guy who won't do it comes off like he's afraid to do so and lacks confidence. All of my friends who are successful with women go along with it.

Just hug casually like you're doing her a favor, rather than like an affection-starved chode who is getting his only female contact for the month, and you're fine.

Post: #37

My go-to is the more traditional hand extend with palm facing upward.



Bring the hand in before they have a chance to close. The rest happens naturally. It might seem old fashioned but I find it instantly establishes a dominant masculine frame.

Post: #38

What the hell is all this no-hug machismo about? #TeamHug I hug people, men and women, fuck it. I definitely hug my female friends/acquaintances. I s'pose I'm beta as fuck.

Bitches love hugs. If some girl has a problem with you giving her a friendly hug then she's not your friend and is in some way repulsed by you.

Post: #39

(10-30-2016 01:57 AM)puckerman Wrote:  So, how do you identify phony huggers? How do you know when a woman is giving a phony hug and giving a real hug?

I'll ignore the rest of the OP and replies and just address this.

It's easy. When a chick hugs you, she is tipping her hand. If she sticks her ass out and just pats you on the back (minimal physical contact) she is a "fake hugger". If I get the impression a chick is hugging me out of some sense of obligation, I won't even hug her back. I'll make it deliberately uncomfortable for her since I can't stand false intimacy.

On the other hand if a girl who's hugging you presses against your body and is clearly not uncomfortable getting close to you, that can be a sign that she wants to fuck but isn't necessarily so. It's also a tactic used by attention whores to acrue orbiters.


So to answer the OP's question, it's easy to tell. If you need to be told that a girl is uncomfortable hugging you she's likely all but told you herself through her body language and lack of reciprocity.

Post: #40

#teamHug

Next time you see her, refuse to hug her and tell her she has been cut off because she took your hugs for granted.

Criticizing a hug is the torso-centric equivalent of looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Post: #41

This post, lol.

I'm looking for ostracism 101 tactics.

OP needs to take over the social order of this book club and then exclude this chick. Watch Mean Girls

WIA

Post: #42

(11-02-2016 12:10 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  It's easy. When a chick hugs you, she is tipping her hand. If she sticks her ass out and just pats you on the back (minimal physical contact) she is a "fake hugger". If I get the impression a chick is hugging me out of some sense of obligation, I won't even hug her back. I'll make it deliberately uncomfortable for her since I can't stand false intimacy.

The way a woman hugs you can be quite a tell, to be sure. There's a big difference between a shoulder/collarbone-first hug with minimal actual contact (the fake hugger) versus a girl firmly pressing her tits against you and pulling you toward her, savoring every moment of contact.

As for the OP, the right play is to keep going to the book club and not worry about the woman. Be polite but don't make any efforts to hug her or even touch her if she's complaining to others about your hugs. Especially since you're not interested in her, there is no sense in wasting any additional time concerning yourself with it.

Post: #43

(10-30-2016 03:25 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

(10-30-2016 02:25 AM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  Are you overweight? Women don't like hugging fat guys.

This is the first thought that popped into my head..thought I cant imagine someone would read this forum and be a fat slob.

OP never answered this question. It only makes me wonder, hmmmm.....

*bust a jonbozzz*

Post: #44

(11-06-2016 05:12 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

(10-30-2016 03:25 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

(10-30-2016 02:25 AM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  Are you overweight? Women don't like hugging fat guys.

This is the first thought that popped into my head..thought I cant imagine someone would read this forum and be a fat slob.

OP never answered this question. Makes me wonder, hmmmm.....

*bust a jonbozzz*

He's more than likely massively overweight and half balding. Hence the lack of response to this kind of question.

Post: #45

(10-30-2016 01:57 AM)puckerman Wrote:  Often at the beginning and the end of the meeting, we would hug. And she certainly seemed cool with it.

There's a certain percentage of girls who will seem really sweet and approachable and then ruthlessly talk shit behind your back. They do this to everyone. Of course, the worse your game is (or if you're fat or whatever), the more you give them to make fun of. But they were going to talk shit anyway, just because you made the mistake of interacting with them beyond the bare minimum required by the situation.

Part of the problem sometimes is that they too lack the social skills to know how to reject you to your face in a tactful way, or they're afraid of how you'll respond. If she already tried to signal her discomfort but you didn't pick up on it, that could be another problem. Being passive aggressive, and being afraid to use anything but subtle and ambiguous signals to indicate displeasure, go hand in hand.

I've run into this problem a couple times. If a girl, especially an attractive girl, is being just a little bit too nice and approachable to be believable, and/or you've noticed she likes to badmouth people behind their backs Mean Girls-style, watch out. After you get burned a few times, you'll probably be able to pick up on the clues that a girl is like that.

Certain types of organizations and roles also tend to attract that kind of chick, I've noticed. So, that's another clue. A lot of them have made it into managerial positions by mastering passive aggressive ways of dealing with men. On the other hand, there are also some women who are total losers and ugly to boot, yet also are very skillful at being manipulative and destroying your reputation if you give them the chance, so you have to watch out for them too. There are a lot of untrustworthy people out there who can fuck you over pretty badly if you give them the opportunity, so you have to limit your exposure to unnecessary risk.

At this point, I'm really skeptical about women who seem superficially friendly and sweet, especially if I can't think of any particular reason why they should be that way toward me. Kind of like how you can assume a woman is a slut unless you have some reason to think she's not, you can assume women are bitches unless you have some reason to assume they're not, because modern women have a lot of influences (e.g. catty friends) that would tend to encourage them to act bitchy.

Years ago, I had this one co-worker whom I asked out to lunch, and she said yes, and a few days later we went on our lunch date. Then I asked her out on an evening/weekend date and she said yes again, but this time around she started coming up with lame excuses (saying she had evening classes at unpredictable times). So I finally got the hint.

Later, being the creepy weirdo psycho stalker I was, I hacked into her email account just to get some insight into what her thinking had been, and found out that she had asked a co-worker for advice on how to tactfully cancel our lunch date, but then gone to lunch with me anyway, I guess because she hadn't been able to think of an excuse to get out of it. Later, she mercilessly ridiculed me, and pretty much the whole company found out and was mocking me behind my back.

I did get revenge against her, which in a way I feel good about, because she arguably deserved some form of karma for her constant backstabbing of everyone, plus others arguably needed to learn a lesson; but in another way, I feel bad about because I may have gone too far, plus I breached my libertarian ethical code. Obviously, I should not have shat where I ate to begin with, but my friends had been egging me on and I didn't know any better.

Post: #46

I have hug opened every single first date I have had for a year now. Completely acceptable kino on a first meet. I have got blown out around 3 times and got the first date bang around 10. If my game was good I would kiss-greet but i don't have the ability yet to build enough sexual tension and comfort to do that. I have pulled it off once in my player-career but believe me players it's not only possible but preferable and within your grasp.

If a hug is a last resort to show physical affection you're doing it wrong. Hug-close is a death sentence, go next. She's not interested. The worst date I've had this year ended with me grabbing her hand and walking her home, followed by a hug close. Awful, I'm embarrassed. Bad game, never saw her again.

You don't hug females goodbye. You long-kiss them and slap their ass and walk away after you already have banged them.

It's all contextual, if you are constantly hugging females hello that you haven't banged it comes off as a bit gay or tryhard. You could probably finesse it but if it seems forced - nope - nope.

Post: #47

Afterthought.

In a social situation how you finish up the hug can make a huge difference.

Most guys will just hit reverse and disengage the arms.

A more dominant twist (pun incoming) is to pivot rather than reverse so one hand stays behind her, if only for a brief moment. Even the slightest pressure applied to the small of her back will trigger a sexual moment, but if you do it properly then she might think it was an accident or that she's over-thinking it.

Regardless, the seed will be planted (pun heavy post).

Post: #48

The "strangers hugging" vignette reminds me of the time I wrecked a mandatory workplace-sexual-assault 'conference' with a "No, you ain't hugging me, lady...I'm not kidding."

I don't hug anyone I don't intimately know, and almost never then. No exceptions. Hugging strangers is ghey.

Post: #49

First, nothing wrong with hugging a woman, nothing beta about that.

BUT it's got to be done with social grace.

I'd suggest these hugs are inappropriate socially. This is measure by a subtle mix of many factors I can't be arsed to list here.

But most people "just get it" when its ok to hug and when not.

OP - you just didn't get it, so someone had to tell you.... So stop hugging her.

Post: #50

(04-30-2017 12:20 AM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  There's a certain percentage of girls who will seem really sweet and approachable and then ruthlessly talk shit behind your back. They do this to everyone. Of course, the worse your game is (or if you're fat or whatever), the more you give them to make fun of. But they were going to talk shit anyway, just because you made the mistake of interacting with them beyond the bare minimum required by the situation.

I also think it's about respect. You have game all women all the time.

Quote:Part of the problem sometimes is that they too lack the social skills to know how to reject you to your face in a tactful way, or they're afraid of how you'll respond. If she already tried to signal her discomfort but you didn't pick up on it, that could be another problem. Being passive aggressive, and being afraid to use anything but subtle and ambiguous signals to indicate displeasure, go hand in hand.

I am also learning more and more to recognize such women and to stay away from them.

Quote:I did get revenge against her, which in a way I feel good about, because she arguably deserved some form of karma for her constant backstabbing of everyone, plus others arguably needed to learn a lesson; but in another way, I feel bad about because I may have gone too far, plus I breached my libertarian ethical code.

Such women don't deserve much sympathy. I may also try giving them a taste of their own medicine.