Post: #1

This article is a bit old (2/12/16) bit old but I came across it and it scared the shit out of me.#3 & #6 are understandable, but the rest of the article is fucking bullshit. How the hell is a man suppose to have a organic relationship with a women when he's pausing every five minutes worried about "rape"? I remember reading a Return of Kings article about videotaping a women with a ihome alarm clock and letting her ride you to show consent, but some of this shit seems indefensible. What am I suppose to do, mic up every sexual encounter to show that "she wanted to switch positions". Fail every shit test when she states "we are not having sex tonight". What the hell are we suppose to do?

Link to Article: http://www.bustle.com/articles/141289-7-...-they-cant

"It saddens me that, even in 2016, some people think that their thoughts on what qualifies as rape are more important than the actual experiences of real women who have been assaulted. But two days ago, after Bustle published a heartfelt personal essay by Laura Gianino, "I Didn't Say No — But It Was Still Rape," the trolls came out in full force to do just that. In the essay, Gianino recounts a past sexual experience which began as consensual, but turned into what she personally felt was rape. Though she didn't say the words, "stop," "don't," or "no" to the man she was having sex with, she did express to him that he was hurting her, and when he asked her if she wanted to stop, she replied "kind of" while grimacing in pain. However, instead of stopping when she expressed her discomfort, he continued having sex with her until he had finished.

Though the essay has received a lot of support, a few readers have hatefully commented via Facebook that this didn't qualify as rape because Gianino didn't verbally withdraw her consent or physically push away her partner. They've even gone so far as to express concern for the man (whom Gianino never names) while showing outright hostility toward her.


But unless a person gives clear, express consent to sexual activity, they are not a consenting sexual partner. And while this is only a legal standard in certain places that have adopted affirmative consent laws, such as some college and university campuses, it should be a standard of human decency in all sexual situations. Furthermore, the absence of "no," or even a partner's total silence, does not constitute consent. If a man or a woman shows disinterest in, or discomfort with, finishing a sexual activity, but their partner ignores their uneasiness so they can finish, that qualifies as rape, regardless of what some asshole on the Internet thinks.

This isn't just an issue with trolls, however. Many people who are not trying to be malicious sometimes think they know what constitutes rape better than the people who have experienced it, simply because we get so many cultural messages about what constitutes sexual assault (most of which have little to do with how sexual assault actually plays out in real life). Many people also mistakenly believe that legal definitions of sexual assault should be the only standard by which we judge personal experiences. But just because your experience does not necessarily align with some legally actionable definition of sexual assault does not mean that you do not have the right to define your experience that way, and want support.

Quite simply, we don't have the right to tell anyone that their experience of rape doesn't "count." Sexual assault and rape are nowhere near as cut and dried as most of us were raised to believe. Just because it has never occurred to us that a certain act may qualify as rape doesn't mean that someone can't experience it that way. In hopes of furthering this understanding, here are seven things you might not think are rape that can be.

1. If You Ask Your Partner To Switch Positions And They Refuse

A while back, I asked a man I was having sex with if we could switch positions. We were in a position I normally liked, but on this day, it was just too painful. I told him the position we were in was causing me pain, but when I asked if we could switch, he said "no" and kept having sex with me in that position. I waited a few minutes to see if it would become less painful. When it didn't, I asked him again if we could switch. Again he said no. Defeated, I allowed him to pin my arms behind my back. I cried, because it hurt and I wasn't OK with what was happening. But he kept going until he'd finished. Afterwards, I knew that what had happened wasn't OK, but I didn't realize that I had technically experienced non-consensual sex until months later.

To some, this may not seem like rape at all, because I had initially consented to sex with this person. Additionally, I would never compare what I experienced to a violent rape. Technically, though, what I experienced was rape, because my sexual partner continued in an activity after I'd expressly asked him not to. If this has ever happened to you, know that it's never OK for someone to do something to your body after you've asked them not to — no matter what form that request takes. There are literally hundreds of ways to have sex. If one of those ways hurts you, you should never be forced to continue with it until your partner's finished with you. Which brings us to ...

2. If You Tell Your Partner They're Hurting You, But They Ignore You And Keep Going

If you tell your sexual partner that they're hurting you, but they pretend they can't hear you or flat-out ignore you so they can finish, that's rape. Even if you're afraid to speak up, but it's clear that you're in pain during sex, your partner should be respectful enough to ask you if you're OK. Once you've expressed discomfort and disinterest in continuing, then it's time to stop, and your partner should comply with that. You shouldn't have to ask twice — and if they don't respect that request, that can be rape.

3. If Your Partner Forces You To Deepthroat Them

This has happened to me as well. On more than one occasion, a sexual partner held my head in a locked position while I was going down on him. Even when I was literally choking on him and repeatedly smacking his thigh to try to get him to loosen his grip, he still wouldn't immediately let me go. At the time, I thought that since I actually really enjoy deepthroating (at my own friggin' pace, thank you) that this didn't qualify as rape. But again, this is technically a case in which I withdrew my consent and was not only ignored, but actually overpowered into doing something I didn't want to do.

If you're having sex with a man, and that man physically forces you to deepthroat them (even if it's only for a few seconds), then they're forcing you to do something sexual against your will. That can be rape, and that is not OK.

4. If Your Partner Keeps Asking For Sex After You Refuse, Until You Finally Say Yes

Saying "no" multiple times and then saying "yes" once doesn't equal real, obtained consent. This is called coerced consent, and it's technically rape. I'm not saying that people never change their mind about not wanting to have sex, but it should be a decision they make free of pressure and coercion. People respond to coercion for all sorts of reasons, from fear of violence to concern about emotional repercussions, and those are just the tip of the iceberg. "No" is supposed to mean "no." Not "maybe I'll change my mind if you keep asking." And coerced consent isn't really consent at all.

5. If Your Partner Continues Having Sex With You After You've Changed Your Mind About Having Sex

This is very simple. Consent is something you give, so it's also something you can take away. If you've consented to having sex with someone, and then you change your mind in the middle of the act, your partner legally has to respect that you've withdrawn your consent. If they try to tell you that you can't say "no" because you've already said "yes," then they are trying to force themselves on you, and that is rape. You can withdraw your consent to sexual activity at literally any time. Don't let anyone try to tell you differently.

6. If Someone Tries To Have Sex With You When You're Incapable Of Giving Consent

When I was in college, a friend of mine told me that his friend's girlfriend was raped at a party. She was drunk while the assault occurred, so some of the people who heard about what had happened blamed her for it, saying that it was "kind of her fault." But if someone tries to have sex with you when you're too drunk, high, or unconscious to agree to it, then it's not your fault. It's rape. Not being capable of saying "no" is not the same thing as saying "yes." Period.

7. If Your Partner Tries To Engage In A Specific Sexual Act After You've Asked Them Not To

Whether it's anal play, a painful position, being dominated when you're not feeling it, or literally anything else, you have every right to refuse to do anything that you don't 100 percent want to do. And if you've told your partner you don't want to do something (even if it's something you normally enjoy doing in bed), and then they do it anyway, that can be rape.

The Bottom Line
Obviously, there is a difference between the non-consensual sexual experiences I've had and the violent sexual assaults that so many women survive on a daily basis. But just because some people experience what we are traditionally taught to recognize as rape doesn't mean that other experiences that don't look the same are not also rape. Any sexual activity in which one party doesn't give their full consent to begin with, wishes to withdraw their consent after giving it, or is incapable of giving consent in the first place, is rape.

And until we as a society can grasp this simple concept, rape culture and victim blaming will continue to be the norm. Instead of teaching affirmative consent, we will continue attacking the women who speak up about their experiences with non-consensual sex. Silencing women who speak up about rape discourages women from speaking up during sex in the first place, and then punishes them for not finding the courage to say "no."

So stop defining women's sexual experiences for them just because they don't sound like rape to you. Take the time to learn about affirmative consent instead. Please and thank you."

Anybody have some insight on avoid these crazy rape accusations?

Post: #2

Quote: 4. If Your Partner Keeps Asking For Sex After You Refuse, Until You Finally Say Yes

Uh oh

Edit: Our marriage-material author:



She's not bad, but it's risky.

Post: #3

My most recent ex-LTR loves shit like this. One of the first times we had sex, I was really into it and going rough, she seemed to really be enjoying it until she told me I was hurting her. So I stopped, leaned back and started to fuck her slow and gentle and asked her if that was ok. She said yeah, then probably two minutes later she says we have to stop.

Later she tells me I raped her cause I didn't completely stop when she told me I was hurting her. I told her she was being ridiculous because as soon as she told me to stop, I did... and she could leave if she wanted. She kept pulling shit like that all the time until I had enough of it. I didn't realize until I was out of that relationship how much of my manhood and dominance she had stripped away from me with her feminist overly affirmative consent bullshit.

Post: #4

All those 7 things she put down are exactly how she likes to be fucked. Period.

Post: #5

Interesting, I don't see a "If your partner decided they didn't want the sex after it already happened" anywhere...

Post: #6

Quote:Consent is something you give, so it's also something you can take away. If you've consented to having sex with someone, and then you change your mind in the middle of the act, your partner legally has to respect that you've withdrawn your consent.

To bad that doesn't work for marriage. "Honey, I've taken away my consent to let you share in my money. To the streets with you."

Post: #7

So basically any sex is rape. Ok. Kinda like saying "I felt it was racism, so you are a racist"

Post: #8

Ah, yes. The old "everything my ex did was wrong" ploy.

Oh, it was cool when they were together. But after they broke up? Dude was a fucking psycho rapist.

It doesn't always manifest right away. The girl often requires help from the girl's less attractive friends to realize just how badly she was abused.



Safewords, they're not just for freaky BDSM dungeon sex anymore.

Post: #9

Goddamnit. Pure coincidental timing that the ex I spoke of in my previous post, sent me this piece of shit article today:

"The Problem with How Men Perceive Rape"
http://fusion.net/story/341098/men-rape-...n-consent/

Told me she hoped I'd read it. Fuck you, you crazy feminist bitch. I've blocked her email and phone number, no more listening to her nonsense.

Post: #10

If you write "sucked under duress and harrasment" on your cock like a check, I see that legally barringyou from rape charges.

I'm not a lawyer though.

Aloha!

Post: #11

^The oppressed author



There is no way.

To add: Her name is Lux Alptraum.

Post: #12

(09-01-2016 10:41 PM)Kona Wrote:  If you write "sucked under duress and harrasment" on your cock like a check, I see that legally barringyou from rape charges.

I'm not a lawyer though.

Aloha!

I would like this 100 times if I could. Aloha!

(09-01-2016 10:42 PM)ivansirko Wrote:  ^The oppressed author



There is no way.

That's exactly how I see it. My ex would regularly send me crap from everydayfeminism.com, I go look at the staff page and it's all full of fat ugly wonder-kin demi-girl unicorns with pink hair. No one wants to fuck these people. The author of the article in the original post, and the second one I linked, they are projecting... They're ugly plain janes that *wish* they got the attention they complain about.

Post: #13

^Damn, that dude is ugly.
He should hit the gym.

Post: #14

(09-01-2016 10:42 PM)ivansirko Wrote:  

To add: Her name is Lux Alptraum.

Lux Alptraum "actually enjoys deepthroating" according to her article.

This is interesting to me. I've had my penis in a barons share of women's mouths. Many have deep throated me.

I have asked tons if they enjoy this, and they say yes. I just don't believe it. Unless they are crazy.

Who in their right mind wants a cock jammed down their throat? I figure women that sick my dick, or any dick, are doing it for the pleasure of the dick owner. Does Lux force a dildo down her throat when she's lonely?

I have no desire to eat pussy, especially at this point in my life. I just don't do it. What satisfaction do I get?

My money says if you look in Lux Applebaums medicine cabinet it would be busting with Zoloft, seroquel and a litany of other shit.

Aloha!

Post: #15

Quote:3. If Your Partner Forces You To Deepthroat Them

This has happened to me as well. On more than one occasion, a sexual partner held my head in a locked position while I was going down on him. Even when I was literally choking on him and repeatedly smacking his thigh to try to get him to loosen his grip, he still wouldn't immediately let me go. At the time, I thought that since I actually really enjoy deepthroating (at my own friggin' pace, thank you) that this didn't qualify as rape. But again, this is technically a case in which I withdrew my consent and was not only ignored, but actually overpowered into doing something I didn't want to do.

Didn't actually read the details. This girl's a freak and a hoe, and proud of it. Shit...

Post: #16

(09-02-2016 01:02 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote:3. If Your Partner Forces You To Deepthroat Them

This has happened to me as well. On more than one occasion, a sexual partner held my head in a locked position while I was going down on him. Even when I was literally choking on him and repeatedly smacking his thigh to try to get him to loosen his grip, he still wouldn't immediately let me go. At the time, I thought that since I actually really enjoy deepthroating (at my own friggin' pace, thank you) that this didn't qualify as rape. But again, this is technically a case in which I withdrew my consent and was not only ignored, but actually overpowered into doing something I didn't want to do.

Didn't actually read the details. This girl's a freak and a hoe, and proud of it. Shit...

Agreed on that. I almost stopped after the first paragraph where she talks about fucking the guy that she wasn't interested in and had no chemistry with just because she figured women that don't fuck when the guys puts in a lot of effort to meet up are bitches.

I am astounded any woman can read this garbage and believe this skillrex wannabe is a voice worth listening to. She's a confused whore that doesn't respect herself and attracts low quality desperate losers.

Post: #17

(09-02-2016 12:51 AM)Kona Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 10:42 PM)ivansirko Wrote:  

To add: Her name is Lux Alptraum.

Lux Alptraum "actually enjoys deepthroating" according to her article.

This is interesting to me. I've had my penis in a barons share of women's mouths. Many have deep throated me.

I have asked tons if they enjoy this, and they say yes. I just don't believe it. Unless they are crazy.

Who in their right mind wants a cock jammed down their throat? I figure women that sick my dick, or any dick, are doing it for the pleasure of the dick owner. Does Lux force a dildo down her throat when she's lonely?

I have no desire to eat pussy, especially at this point in my life. I just don't do it. What satisfaction do I get?

My money says if you look in Lux Applebaums medicine cabinet it would be busting with Zoloft, seroquel and a litany of other shit.

Aloha!

I beg to differ my friend.
There are plenty of cam whores who do this for their own pleasure and most likely money.
They'll deep throat themselves with 11 inch dildos and be gasping for air just because they like putting themselves through that kind of punishment because there isn't a guy there to do it to them. Or a girl using a fuck machine with a huge dildo pounding her throat.
This whole idea of punishing yourself with a fake dick because you're THAT horny is beyond insane.

As for this plain jane who wrote the article, she's clearly reliving her sexual past when she was in her prime. Everything she list I've done to girls at one time or another.

Post: #18

(09-01-2016 10:34 PM)Mushroom Wrote:  Goddamnit. Pure coincidental timing that the ex I spoke of in my previous post, sent me this piece of shit article today:

"The Problem with How Men Perceive Rape"
http://fusion.net/story/341098/men-rape-...n-consent/

Told me she hoped I'd read it. Fuck you, you crazy feminist bitch. I've blocked her email and phone number, no more listening to her nonsense.

From the article:

Quote:But missing from this dichotomy are the scores of “not rape” violations, and acts that might best be described as “sexual microaggressions”—small acts of boundary-pushing and coercion that might be easy enough to brush off in isolation, but in aggregate teach women that their bodily autonomy is revocable, and that violations of their boundaries and sense of safety aren’t just tolerable, but utterly and completely normal.

I canceled a vacation with an ex-girlfriend because sex had dried up. To this day, she accuses me of sexual coercion.

Post: #19

(09-01-2016 04:43 PM)Phil Jackson Wrote:  ...Many people also mistakenly believe that legal definitions of sexual assault should be the only standard by which we judge personal experiences. But just because your experience does not necessarily align with some legally actionable definition of sexual assault does not mean that you do not have the right to define your experience that way, and want support.
...

Sugarcakes, you can define what happened last night as kidnapping and murder if you want. You can redefine me as an alien abductor and pretend that I coerced you by hypnotising you with a big ol' pink anal probe (#8 being hypnotised does not count as consent if you would not otherwise have consented blah blah blah...)

But if you take your delusions to the public arena and add my name to them? At that stage you will learn that, yes, there are legal definitions of such things and that your delusions are not a viable defence against being sued for slander.

Post: #20

Wow. So if a girls stops sucking my dick when I tell them not to, that's considered rape? Because they're not doing what I want sexually. So that's rape. I'm a SJW after all. What a shame.

Post: #21

With a look like that the only way she will get some is to say she enjoys Deep Throating.

Post: #22

Obviously most of these cases don't fit the category of rape.

Quote:1. If You Ask Your Partner To Switch Positions And They Refuse

A while back, I asked a man I was having sex with if we could switch positions. We were in a position I normally liked, but on this day, it was just too painful. I told him the position we were in was causing me pain, but when I asked if we could switch, he said "no" and kept having sex with me in that position.

Not rape, but if it's true the guy was just being a dick. I've encountered two tiny Asian girls who found doggy-style with my enormous schlong painful. I don't really wish to hurt a girl, so I wasn't going to keep going in that position. No problem, just flipped her over and kept going.

However if she protests and explicitly tells you to stop and you ignore her, that is rape.

Quote:2. If You Tell Your Partner They're Hurting You, But They Ignore You And Keep Going

Again, not rape, but if you're genuinely hurting a girl I don't see why you wouldn't take a break and figure out something which works for both of you, rather than continuing doing something which is obviously causing her pain.

Quote:3. If Your Partner Forces You To Deepthroat Them

Not rape. Of course most girls like rough sex much more than they would care to admit. But if she's slapping your thigh to try to get you to release your grip, why wouldn't you stop? I would simply be incapable of getting off if I knew that she wasn't enjoying it.

Quote:4. If Your Partner Keeps Asking For Sex After You Refuse, Until You Finally Say Yes

Not rape. Yes means yes apparently. She said yes, so consent was obtained.

Quote:5. If Your Partner Continues Having Sex With You After You've Changed Your Mind About Having Sex

Maybe rape. Consent obviously can't be revoked AFTER the act, but if she wants to stop DURING the act, I can't see why any decent man would continue. It would be frustrating, but I'm not going to fuck a girl against her will.

Quote:6. If Someone Tries To Have Sex With You When You're Incapable Of Giving Consent

Comatose, unconscious dunk? Rape. Just drunk? Not rape. In saying that though, if you are sober and you fuck a heavily intoxicated girl (with whom you haven't previously had a sexual relationship) you are a dick.

Quote:7. If Your Partner Tries To Engage In A Specific Sexual Act After You've Asked Them Not To

Not rape unless you physically force her. If she previously says she doesn't want it in the butt, but then during sex you put it in her butt without her protesting, she is effectively giving consent. If you hold her down and sodomise her while she protests and tells you to stop, that is rape.

Post: #23

Bruh this list sounds like a typical Tuesday night for me

Post: #24

I bet that they have trouble meeting a 'good man' because men are 'intimidated'.

Example 4578346 of why our society's promotion and coddling of the female ego is a terrible idea. Mediocre women develop bad attitudes and then blame society (men) for their misery.

Post: #25

(09-01-2016 05:07 PM)Mushroom Wrote:  My most recent ex-LTR loves shit like this. One of the first times we had sex, I was really into it and going rough, she seemed to really be enjoying it until she told me I was hurting her. So I stopped, leaned back and started to fuck her slow and gentle and asked her if that was ok. She said yeah, then probably two minutes later she says we have to stop.

Later she tells me I raped her cause I didn't completely stop when she told me I was hurting her.

I'm glad you got out of that unscathed, I know someone who wasn't so lucky.