Post: #76

(07-29-2016 05:07 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  Create attraction. Remember, you're the prize. As long as you're chasing, you're 1 in a 1000 guys thirsty for her.

The problem for me is when I ghost for a while with anyone I'm talking to so they can chase all communication stops - I never get re-engaged. I'm fascinated how some of you guys pull from this without literally making it your full time job. I can't fathom how anyone could have time for hobbies in addition to devoting enough time to get bangs semi-regularly off apps.

I also find that if you don't have the prototypical bad boy look with your pictures you tend to get placed into the orbiter,boyfriend, or simp category in her mind before saying anything.

Post: #77

(07-29-2016 07:16 PM)Razor Beast Wrote:  

(07-29-2016 05:07 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  Create attraction. Remember, you're the prize. As long as you're chasing, you're 1 in a 1000 guys thirsty for her.

The problem for me is when I ghost for a while with anyone I'm talking to so they can chase all communication stops - I never get re-engaged. I'm fascinated how some of you guys pull from this without literally making it your full time job. I can't fathom how anyone could have time for hobbies in addition to devoting enough time to get bangs semi-regularly off apps.

I also find that if you don't have the prototypical bad boy look with your pictures you tend to get placed into the orbiter,boyfriend, or simp category in her mind before saying anything.

The whole "show less investment" theory is kind of bullshit online. Girls will NOT chase you. They have hundreds of options, it's all about being direct and getting their number/getting them to agree to a meetup within 10 messages.

As far as spending less time, after 5 months on Tinder I have it down to a science. Autoswiper, profile reset every week, and 2-3 gold openers that I just repeat over and over. Get 40-70 matches a week and at least two numbers. Takes very little time. Actually, I do a lot of messaging between sets at the gym.

Post: #78

I'm suited up in every photo, not exactly the 'bad boy' vibe but I'm doing well online. They know my SMV is high. If they don't know anything about you why would they be interested?

Post: #79

Granted, I read as much as I can of the RVF. Lots of good masculine wisdom here. If only more top notch posters wrote for the Return of Kings ...

The only real success I get with online dating is by putting myself in the frame of mind as the hottest chick in the room. An extremely dynamic and interesting profile, written simply with powerful persuasion, with lots of pictures -- that will eventually get a few nibbles.

The ratio on online dating is fucking terrible though all things considered, and the other billion dudes online are constantly simping and thirsting the joint up, which is why I prefer day game. If you can mack on a chick in person, that puts you ahead of 80% of all men who are too terrified to even approach.

Post: #80

I'm dating a girl now and she has an older friend of hers, some 41 years old freshly divorced hag. Not fat, but she looks her age and has average looks. I don't have the highest of standards, but there's no way I'm going out with a woman that looks visibly older than me. I guess a lot of guys don't think the same.

She has been banged by 20 dudes this year, according to my girl. Last one was a 28 years old Danish guy. She now wants a boyfriend, someone who she's actually going to date. ROFL.

Personally, I deleted my okcupid. Waste of time. It was better before. Tinder still provides pussy, but quality is low, at least for me and I get opened with compliments on my looks every once in a while. Dunno what's up with that. Any kind of non-online game has been more reliable for me in producing bangs 10 years younger than me. I have a friend of mine who has somewhat average looks, he never got any matches on Tinder. It's tough.

Post: #81

How an online dating attention-whore will waste your time, standard procedure:

10 messages or so go back and forth over the course of an afternoon. She seems really interested, sometimes sending you five or six sentence walls of text per message, with no more than 20 minutes between responses.

Around the 10th message you say something to the effect of "Blah blah, nice. Seems like we get along well, what's your schedule looking like this weekend?"

12 hours pass.

Then she replies: "Ahh thanks! But I'm going on vacation for 14 days in Mexico starting this Friday! Wooo!"

Always keep in mind the Golden Rule: any variation of "I'm not going to be free until next week" means You. Will. Never. Meet. Her.

Post: #82

10 messages with a chick and no photos or logistics? That's doing it wrong. Wall of text != interest in you.

Never text her back so quickly. If she's at 20 min you should be 1hr+. Then if she ghosts you know she was just attention whoring.

Nice Golden Rule though. At least 90% accurate.

Post: #83

Yeah that is very true. You have to have momentum. Even I've found that I've gotten the numbers of attractive girls and then left for 10 days, and upon returning had no desire to even contact them for some reason. I imagine it's like that but 3x for them.

However, I have converted a couple girls after vacation so I get their numbers anyway.

Post: #84

(08-01-2016 05:27 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  10 messages with a chick and no photos or logistics? That's doing it wrong. Wall of text != interest in you.

It's not a definite limit, it's simply to judge interest and make sure she's not replying with disinterested material like "heh lol" or a complete weirdo. Within 10 messages or so I've definitely already got some sense of logistics and pitched the meet.

Quote:Never text her back so quickly. If she's at 20 min you should be 1hr+. Then if she ghosts you know she was just attention whoring.

I like to strike while the iron is hot; most lays I've gotten I've gone from first message to setting up the meet for that same week within the day, often in the span of just an hour or two in the afternoon or evening. Playing "aloof" game with online girls almost never works, they're never going to chase. If you're not responding in a timely manner they'll just find someone else to play with (and probably set up the meet with him instead of you.)

Girls will often ghost on you when you pitch the meet, there's no solid way to tell that a girl you tried to play "aloof" with was attention whoring vs. actually liked you but got bored and went to play with someone else. I just put in the work and charge it to the game when it happens.

Quote:Nice Golden Rule though. At least 90% accurate.

Yes. You'll hear all sorts of variations on it, but if she tries to "schedule" the meet for any time further away than within the week, it's simply her way of telling you that you were just an option she was trying to hold in reserve, or was simply dicking around for attention/fun and had no real interest. It's a pre-flake.

Post: #85

Quote:Then she replies: "Ahh thanks! But I'm going on vacation for 14 days in Mexico starting this Friday! Wooo!"

Can't recall if it was this forum or another, but there was a user who commented on how well the tourist industry of other countries is going, and how overstated the recession is, considering the amount of exotic holidays these chicks all seem to be going on.

What also grinds my gears is when you push for the meet and they tell you they're in Mexico or Miami or Spain right now, and won't be back for weeks. Like, what on earth are you doing on OkCupid chatting to random strangers while you're on vacation?

Go for a swim at the beach for God's sake. A) you'll get a tan and B) my time won't be wasted.

Post: #86

(08-01-2016 08:56 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  What also grinds my gears is when you push for the meet and they tell you they're in Mexico or Miami or Spain right now, and won't be back for weeks. Like, what on earth are you doing on OkCupid chatting to random strangers while you're on vacation?

They wouldn't be, if they were actually in Mexico or Miami or Spain. But they aren't, because they're full of shit.

I've heard so many variations on the "I'm on vacation/I'm going away this weekend/I'm going to be in Mexico/I'm leaving on a road trip this weekend/I'm moving to Chicago three weeks from now" excuse by this point that I don't really believe any of it.

They're sitting around at home watching Netflix and fucking off on the sites for entertainment and trying to maximize their options. They ain't doin' nothin'.

Post: #87

I just resurrected my POF app after a two year absence. You start off hot in the beginning; I've already had a date and exchanged messages with two other girls in the first week, now I've hit a wall. A lot of the decent looking girls either haven't been on in ages or get inundated with messages. The extremely ugly and obese ones are basically a lay-up for getting replies but I'm not dare going down that road. Although I have had a few bangs from the site, the interaction always ends around date two or three, no matter how well or did or how good my game was. On the other hand, girls that I have met in person tend to stick around longer, even in my omega days in college, and the girls tend to be more attractive.

When you all get discouraged by online dating, remember this: I was on Facebook yesterday and an older chick that I banged once (she's 47) put her POF results on her timeline after only being on the site one day. She got 100 messages in her inbox and over 300 views that day and basically gave up on the site because it was too much work sifting through all of the men. And this is for a 47 year old woman with three kids. One of my buddies was a tall, white, blond hair blue eyed guy who used the site and shut it down because he wasn't getting any matches. Online dating is a mismatch for men.

Post: #88

(08-02-2016 08:56 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  When you all get discouraged by online dating, remember this: I was on Facebook yesterday and an older chick that I banged once (she's 47) put her POF results on her timeline after only being on the site one day. She got 100 messages in her inbox and over 300 views that day and basically gave up on the site because it was too much work sifting through all of the men. And this is for a 47 year old woman with three kids. One of my buddies was a tall, white, blond hair blue eyed guy who used the site and shut it down because he wasn't getting any matches. Online dating is a mismatch for men.

Many men disagree with me but online dating has made "the Wall" irrelevant and access to women in their peak years nigh impossible.

I read recently that men are most likely to get a response from a woman when they are 8 years younger. When I was on POF, I calculated the average age of women who browsed my profile, sent the automated "Hey there " message and Meet Me indication and who added me to their favorites' list. It was around 4-6 older.

On Tinder, I use an app which shows me who has right-swiped me without me first right-swiping them. The women are even older compared to me.

Post: #89

XPQ, there's a world of difference btw not replying instantly and 'aloof.'

I rarely have gone from first chat to meet fully set within an hour in the afternoon, so, kudos to you.

Again, I said that logistics texts are not counted in the back-and-forth. if she's responding to logistical queries, of course you strike while the iron is hot.

Can you give us an example of your strategy? I'd love to learn more.

Post: #90

6, is that app available to android users? i thought it phased out

Post: #91

Delete facebook, tinder and all the rest. Day game and enjoy the weather.

Post: #92

(08-04-2016 11:09 AM)dnx Wrote:  Delete facebook, tinder and all the rest. Day game and enjoy the weather.

This.

I remember reading yesterday on this forum a post in which somebody said that, long term, in online dating will remain only the women that cannot secure a man and the men that cannot get a followup (I don't remember where, unfortunately).

Played the online dating game about 7-8 years ago. I played this game for about 6-7 months then quit. Too low on ROI and I don't like the idea of me competing with other men for one chick and the chick has all the power (*). I'd rather talk to a girl face to face, mano a womano, where I have much more chances.


(*) - the interaction that made me quit forever online dating was with a girl who told me, on Yahoo Messenger, that she will add me to the ignore list, after we exchanged pictures and saw how I look like.

Post: #93

I agree with the two responses above.

It is easier for me to get a date spending an hour or two approaching 10-15 women than swiping right in a 100-150 profiles on tinder. The quality from day game is also higher too.

I realized this when the quality of women I attracted online was noticeable lower than what I can get in real life.

Not to mention that even the ugliest girls who wouldn't get a second look in real life can get more messages than a male 9.

No thanks to all of that.

Post: #94

(08-05-2016 06:32 AM)therealpoder Wrote:  I agree with the two responses above.

It is easier for me to get a date spending an hour or two approaching 10-15 women than swiping right in a 100-150 profiles on tinder. The quality from day game is also higher too.

It's probably partially location dependent. I can send a few dozen messages out on OKC over a week and have a pretty solid chance of getting a date.

Daygame? I've done a decent number of approaches around here, both day and night, and the women are pretty much not receptive...they often simply don't even seem to understand the reason why someone not in their social circle would be talking to them.

Last weekend I opened this one early 30s girl in a bar and she just turned to me with a dead expression on her face and said "Huh? I'm sorry, what was the question?" I hadn't asked a question. She just didn't seem to understand why a man in a bar would be talking to her.

I've asked a couple of the girls I saw regularly from online in their late 20s/early 30s what they would do if a guy approached them during the day, and pretty much to a one their eyes would go wide and say "I...I have no idea. I dunno. That'd be scary. I'd just probably try to get away..." I've asked a number of couples I'm acquainted with how they met, and it's all the same reply: "through our friends/on Tinder/OKCupid."

If I ever heard someone say "He just started talking to me in a coffee shop" I'd pretty much keel over from shock.

New England is heavily feminist, so whats happening here is probably the future of the West. Young women are becoming hyper-introverted spastics, unable to interact with men in the real world without the social circle/online vetting process making them feel comfortable. I know this one dude who's in his mid 20s and looks like a male model, he's from EE...I feel kinda bad for him because 25 years ago all he'd have to do is pretty much walk into a club and start chatting up the first cute hoe he ran across and be in for the kill.

What's he up to now? He's showing me pics of a girl he's been chatting with for half a week on Tinder who's perhaps a "6.5" on a good day, asking me "What should I do? Do you think she likes me? I'm having trouble getting her to meet up..."

Sad times. It feels like the script is flipping to where approaching girls in real life is becoming not a "DHV", but a "DLV"; if you were a guy worth banging you'd have an Instagram account with a thousand followers. What are you approaching girls in bars for like some kind of creepy dinosaur from the 20th century?

I'm certainly not saying it's impossible, but in this area it's really hard to justify the repeated ego shocks of getting blown out and hostile rejections again and again on day/night game approaches when I can just sit on my ass in my home office, log on to the sites occasionally, and wait for that one DTF girl to show up in my inbox on average once a month.

Post: #95

(08-05-2016 06:59 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I've asked a number of couples I'm acquainted with how they met, and it's all the same reply: "through our friends/on Tinder/OKCupid."

I've mentioned this before. I've been a wedding photographer for the past five years as my main source of income and so I have some knowledge of how a lot of couples (at least in the UK) are meeting.

Most are meeting when they're young (between 24-30) in bars and clubs or through social circle. One of the common things I hear is a guy having met a girl in a club and then finding her on social media, and building up a relationship with her on there before getting her out on an actual date. I've heard stories of how he's been flummoxed why she responds to some messages and not others, but he kept chipping away. Sometimes it's been social/family circle, or they lived next door to each other at university.

How many times have I heard they met on a dating app? Zero times. In five years. I know the stats suggest that a lot of couples are meeting online these days, so either the stats or lying, or my clients are. Here's a major caveat though: The majority of the couples I'm meeting have been together for so long, and met 5-10 years ago, before internet dating exploded, and I'm in a small province of the UK which may be more traditional.

I remember one couple (both about a 9) who had been set-up on a date. At the end of it he got a handshake and a nice to meet you, says he was nervous as all hell and terrified to go in for a kiss. They ended up marrying though. The narrative I hear is that no matter how handsome the guy is, the girl always put up some resistance ("After meeting her that night she backed off and I had no idea why!"). It was by no means plain sailing - the difference is these girls, unlike online, were worth chasing.

Post: #96

^ I think much "bar game" for squares is actually a form of social circle game. Groups of friends go out to the same bar or club week in and week out, meet up with other groups of friends they're casually acquainted with, cross-pollination occurs.

I go out to dive bars popular among the 20 - 40 crowd pretty regularly on the weekend, I've probably seen thousands of people, and I'm honestly having trouble remembering an instance where I saw a guy do a cold-approach on a woman he wasn't acquainted with at the bar.
I mean, I know what one looks like because I've done it before, and I just never see it. The number of relationships of any sort that develop from cold approaches around here must be shockingly low.

I did a cold approach on a girl in Providence a couple months ago and ended up making out with her in the club lounge. I texted with her for a bit trying to set up a day 2 before she inevitably flaked, but she legitimately seemed shocked that a guy would be ballsy enough to mack on her and then escalate right in the club, not in the "I never do this!" sense, but seemingly an honest "I can't believe you kissed me what the heck this never happens!" shocked. She was 29.

Quote:One of the common things I hear is a guy having met a girl in a club and then finding her on social media, and building up a relationship with her on there before getting her out on an actual date. I've heard storied of how he's been flummoxed why she responds to some messages and not others, but he kept chipping away. Sometimes it's been social/family circle.

Yes, the type of guy who chases her all over creation and seems to adhere to a social media version of that book "The Rules" definitely seems like the type to not understand why that would happen.

Post: #97

(08-05-2016 06:59 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I'm certainly not saying it's impossible, but in this area it's really hard to justify the repeated ego shocks of getting blown out and hostile rejections again and again on day/night game approaches when I can just sit on my ass in my home office, log on to the sites occasionally, and wait for that one DTF girl to show up in my inbox on average once a month.

Have you got experience cold approaching anywhere else?
How many approaches have you done and how are you doing them? Getting hostile rejections from daygame sounds weird, I've done probably around 1000 and barely any hostile rejections. Although if you are very aggressive i guess you would get them.

Didnt mean to attack you or anything, just that your experience sounds so different to mine, and I live in a pretty feminist country as well.

Post: #98

(08-05-2016 07:37 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I go out to dive bars popular among the 20 - 40 crowd pretty regularly on the weekend, I've probably seen thousands of people, and I'm honestly having trouble remembering an instance where I saw a guy do a cold-approach on a woman he wasn't acquainted with at the bar.
I mean, I know what one looks like because I've done it before, and I just never see it. The number of relationships of any sort that develop from cold approaches around here must be shockingly low.

I did a cold approach on a girl in Providence a couple months ago and ended up making out with her in the club lounge. I texted with her for a bit trying to set up a day 2 before she inevitably flaked, but she legitimately seemed shocked that a guy would be ballsy enough to mack on her and then escalate right in the club, not in the "I never do this!" sense, but legit "I can't believe you kissed me what the heck this never happens!" shocked. She was 29.

I have heard stories of grooms doing cold approaches on girls in bars or clubs, and ended up marrying them. These are somewhat rare stories I hear, but it does happen (5-10+ years ago these meets happened though, to reiterate).

I'm wondering if in 5-10 years time if I'll be hearing "we met on Match or we met on POF". I really, really doubt it, at least where I'm living. There are now only four types of girls using dating apps in my location:

1) Window shoppers assessing their sexual market value (and getting an over-evaluation) after a break-up, before disabling their account
2) Serial daters poisoned by the tyranny of choice who are looking for a "spark" (translation: there better be a metaphorical fireworks display when we're looking at each other over a grubby table in Starbucks at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon, or you'll be getting The Hug)
3) Girls "just wanting to chat"
4) Serious girls willing to meet and be fucked by a charming rogue (this rare species is on the conservation list and dwindling fast)

Post: #99

I think you are right about online dating being location dependent.

It's also about finding out what works best for you. I do day game because it works better for me than all of the alternatives.

I think your comments highlight that cold approaches happen so rarely that women wouldn't know how to react if it happened to them.

I think that's a benefit for guys that meet women in real life.

Sure, there are women that don't want to meet men they don't know and there are women that don't realize that they are being approach. That was true even before dating apps came along.

Post: #100

(08-05-2016 06:59 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  It's probably partially location dependent. I can send a few dozen messages out on OKC over a week and have a pretty solid chance of getting a date.

Daygame? I've done a decent number of approaches around here, both day and night, and the women are pretty much not receptive...they often simply don't even seem to understand the reason why someone not in their social circle would be talking to them.

Last weekend I opened this one early 30s girl in a bar and she just turned to me with a dead expression on her face and said "Huh? I'm sorry, what was the question?" I hadn't asked a question. She just didn't seem to understand why a man in a bar would be talking to her.

I've asked a couple of the girls I saw regularly from online in their late 20s/early 30s what they would do if a guy approached them during the day, and pretty much to a one their eyes would go wide and say "I...I have no idea. I dunno. That'd be scary. I'd just probably try to get away..." I've asked a number of couples I'm acquainted with how they met, and it's all the same reply: "through our friends/on Tinder/OKCupid."

If I ever heard someone say "He just started talking to me in a coffee shop" I'd pretty much keel over from shock.

New England is heavily feminist, so whats happening here is probably the future of the West. Young women are becoming hyper-introverted spastics, unable to interact with men in the real world without the social circle/online vetting process making them feel comfortable. I know this one dude who's in his mid 20s and looks like a male model, he's from EE...I feel kinda bad for him because 25 years ago all he'd have to do is pretty much walk into a club and start chatting up the first cute hoe he ran across and be in for the kill.

What's he up to now? He's showing me pics of a girl he's been chatting with for half a week on Tinder who's perhaps a "6.5" on a good day, asking me "What should I do? Do you think she likes me? I'm having trouble getting her to meet up..."

Sad times. It feels like the script is flipping to where approaching girls in real life is becoming not a "DHV", but a "DLV"; if you were a guy worth banging you'd have an Instagram account with a thousand followers. What are you approaching girls in bars for like some kind of creepy dinosaur from the 20th century?

I'm certainly not saying it's impossible, but in this area it's really hard to justify the repeated ego shocks of getting blown out and hostile rejections again and again on day/night game approaches when I can just sit on my ass in my home office, log on to the sites occasionally, and wait for that one DTF girl to show up in my inbox on average once a month.

Your experience is a combination of things:

1. Culturally, New England women/people are not generally friendly to random strangers. I think many also harbor anti-white sentiments. Throw in some libtard politics, fucked up ratios, shitty weather, and some militant feminism and that makes for a tough cold approach environment.

I don't think the rest of the West is gonna be like New England though; New England just sucks because it has the near perfect storm of shitty conditions for cold approach. This won't be the case everywhere.

Goto the south? Friendly towards strangers (mostly).

Goto NYC? Better ratios/thirsty women.

Goto San Diego? Good weather year-round and therefore, lots of chances to generate leads.

Go overseas to SEA? You're rich compared to most people.

SEA is not the west obviously but the point is that New England just sucks for cold approach because the environment is shit all around; nothing is working in your favor there.

2. You asked girls from ONLINE about their attitudes towards cold approache and actually took it seriously? They are ONLINE girls and by default, have a much higher chance of having anxiety or anti-social issues. So, their take on being approach by a stranger is meaningless for the most part. They don't represent all women.

3. In my opinion, lone wolf night game is dead in the US unless you are going to a private party/function. Going to a typical bar these days is such a waste of resources if the primary objective is to get pussy. Bars are stupid overpriced, the ratios are almost always shit, and only certain demographics even goto bars anymore.

That all said, I would focus on (all at the same time):

1. Building up a social circle

2. Doing an activity that is conducive to meeting people

3. Doing passive day game. Active day game should be limited to colleges where you can knock out a ton of approaches quickly and efficiently. Passive day game just means looking for the slight gleam of burning desire in some chicks eyes and going for it; that's ALL you need to comfortably open a chick and succeed with some consistency.

Once you get the social circle built up, you can start hosting people and expanding out further.

With the activity, you can use it screen people (men and women) who you want to invite to parties and other events. I invited some chick the other day from my activity to tag along for some shopping.

If you do this, you THEN can hit up a bar for shits and giggles but instead of being a lone wolf, you can roll with a crew of people and have social proof. With social proof, you can approach other groups easier (you're not some lone wolf potential threat) and then expand your overall social circle further.

Rinse and repeat.

It requires a bit more effort and investment, particularly upfront, but I find this route to be a lot more fulfilling for bangs (and otherwise) as oppose to chasing garbage on dating websites. You don't have to stop online dating entirely like I did but just understand that every minute chasing women on the internet is a minute that could be spent doing all the aforementioned stuff I outlined instead.