Post: #1

Background
I spin plates, and one of them is an LTR. I had a harem, but now it's only her and I'm working to get the more. I sleep around once in a while.
My goal is mLTR.

Girl #1 is committed to me, loves me and knows that she is not the only one.
I meet her twice a week (sometimes 3) but keep my options open.

Recently I took her on a trip (short) for the first time. Coming back made her feel like the relationship is "going down", and shit tests broke loose.

The move
Spoke with her on the phone (we usually text) and during the conversation told her: "What is it that you bring to the relationship?"
She was shocked. She never thought about it.
Her initial response: "I love you. I bring my feelings"
My reply: "Those are yours"
Second time: "I give myself to you"
My reply: "You climax more than me. You take more than you give"
She was confused.

Result
Told her that she needs to invest more into the relationship.
She agreed, and asked for my help to guide her.

emailed her the following list:
1. Be more grateful and say "THANKS" more
2. Less outbursts.
3. Show me that you trust me.
4. Don't compete with me (PArt of the shit test is saying she can get laid easier).
5. Do more stuff for me.

her response was that she was moved. she stated that she wants to implement these things. She wants to be better for me and "for us".

Conclusions
Game principles used:
1. Frame - most girls think that just showing up is an effort. She now thinks that she needs to "work for the relationship".
2. Qualification - she now feels deeply that she must qualify herself to me.
3. Soft Dread - implied but not stated that she needs to work hard, or I will use my other options

Notice that I did not promise anything in return.

Disclaimer
Use this only if the girl is in love with you, or heavily invested.
Otherwise the girl will be insulted and walk out.

Thinking about it, it can be a good way to get a girl to leave.

Post: #2

Keep us updated on whether she does everything you've asked her to do. Say a few months from now.

She might be talking a good game now, but what matters is her actions. My ex wife promised to change her ways when our marriage was in a free fall, but what actions did that actually amount to? Nothing.

Not disagreeing with what you're saying though. It's good to tell what you want your girl to do if she wants to stay with you. What happens after that is the real test.

Post: #3

(07-03-2016 03:32 PM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  3. Soft Dread - implied but not stated that she needs to work hard, or I will use my other options

You said she already knows you that she is not the only one, and that you are banging other chicks. Therefore you are playing hard dread, and she accepts that.

She is probably banging other dudes as well, the "box of assorted creams" set up is not for me, but each to there own.

Well played on holding frame that you will bin her unless she lifts her performance, but I think she is holding out to get you exclusive, and ultimately she will bin you when she works out she can't lock you down.

Be interesting to to see if she actually makes an effort, and for how long.

It was also interesting to here her say that just turning up and letting you bang her was enough effort lol, well called out on that one!

Post: #4

Prediction: She's one step ahead of you.

Post: #5

What the fuck?

She'll do all that stuff on her own if she's into you.

If she doesn't, she's either a time waster or low quality. In which case, spin more plates.

Post: #6

(07-03-2016 07:04 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  [quote='TheMaleBrain' pid='1339144' dateline='1467577979']

She is probably banging other dudes as well, the "box of assorted creams" set up is not for me, but each to there own.

Well played on holding frame that you will bin her unless she lifts her performance, but I think she is holding out to get you exclusive, and ultimately she will bin you when she works out she can't lock you down.

Be interesting to to see if she actually makes an effort, and for how long.

It was also interesting to here her say that just turning up and letting you bang her was enough effort lol, well called out on that one!

No other dudes. Checked.
She deleted her profiles on dating websites.

And yes - promise to update on performance.
She came last night to get laid and then took her home. Usually she asks that I'll come and pick her up (She resides 10 m walk from my place).

Post: #7

(07-03-2016 08:40 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  What the fuck?

She'll do all that stuff on her own if she's into you.

If she doesn't, she's either a time waster or low quality. In which case, spin more plates.

Disagree, to some extent.
She is with me for over 1.5 years. So it is a good reminder.

Point taken that if a girl is into you she will do it.

As per plates - potential girls #2 and #3 are scheduled for this week.

Post: #8

I like the pro-active approach on pushing hard to get more of what you want, but you've been with her for a year and half so these frames could have been set earlier.

The outbursts and competing attitude should be checked at the time they happen (e.g. "Don't do that" and withdraw attention/affection and make her work for it back)

Subtly drop in a story of how a girl you used to date took care of you (cooking, cleaning) and how you liked that.

If she walked out on you over those requests you didn't have much hand to begin with. If you're an attractive guy and have better options, she'll do anything to keep up.

Post: #9

This is something that she is supposed to do by herself, without anyone having to remind her. That's the job of a girl.

Post: #10

Development:

We had a fight, since I still date others and try to have a rotation. Did not change my frame and hers collapsed back to our usual setting of relationship.
This happens every few months.

Used some of the things I told her to work on, after providing comfort that she is still my #1 girl.