Post: #1

Hello gents of RVF,
This has been happening alot and i would like to see how others have been handling this . My new chica (met on tinder) continues to probe and ask about my past relationships. Shit like "where did you meet her!, how long?why did u break up? Why never married? ". I realize that answering directly is beta and gives her the upper hand and intel... Also, she seems curious about if there are other single woman at my gym, club, classs etc - and says "have you dated any of them/ why aren't you dating them? "
Curious on a good approach that will shut this line of questioning down without coming across as a prick.
Thanks
El gato

Post: #2

Why is answering directly beta? If you're going out a lot with this girl, she's bound to ask questions like that. I don't see how answering them is beta, although if you have something to be particularly ashamed about, you don't have to mention it.

If you're on a first date or something, then sure, give dismissive or funny answers, but if you're hanging out with her a lot, just tell her what you want her to know.

Post: #3

If the chica is Latina I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't typical Latina jealousy.

Jealousy comes from her being insecure about her position. She wants to feel secure with you, and that you might have a future.

Do you stay with chicks? (Fear that you leave)
Or did you do something? (Fear that you're not alpha)

Etc.

The first rookie mistake is to try and pacify her.

You can't, this is woman, this what it's like to be with a girl that wants you to herself.

The second rookie mistake is thinking that you have her. You have her now, but she'll only stay if you keep giving her what she responds to.

The player response is to link her fears about you leaving her with things you want her to do.

I used to say "The relationship had run its course...We wanted different things"

Now I say

"She started to let herself go"
"She let her friends influence her"
"She put her job first"
"Honestly she wasn't as adventurous or as giving"

Or

"She couldn't hold my interest"
"I'm a hard person to love, I think she's with some accountant now"

The truth is not necessary in these conversations.

WIA

Post: #4

And you don't want her to feel secure. You want her to be bringing her A game to keep you around.

On top of that, it's easier to hold one, when you have many

WIA

Post: #5

Don't answer the questions until you've been banging her a while. Just answer with dick-ish responses like "Because I was waiting for you"..."none were as hot as you"..."you're my one and only"...etc, all delivered with a sly smile,...and then calmly change the subject and direct her attention elsewhere. You can even get dirty with the responses after a bit...."none had your rear-end"....followed by a gentle ass-slap...etc.

Save the questions for pillow talk if she brings it up at that point.

This could be a lot of things (jealousy, an attempt to rank you using the judgement of other women, etc.), but it is foremost a compliance test. You generally want to avoid capitulating to those (at least the major ones like this) until much later in the relationship, in my opinion.

Post: #6

On this topic - is it ever a good idea to divulge past infidelities. On the one hand, I think that its a high risk strategy with a great reward occasionally. Some chicks totally understand the male desire to stray and it can quickly lead to great chemistry. On the other hand, if a chick has been cheated on (as most have) they will instantly take a dislike to you.

Post: #7

I don't see anything "wrong" with this, in fact it can be an indicator of a smarter-than-the-average-bear girl.

Think of it as an "alpha" test. IMO the most beta thing in the world to do is blame the failure of past relationships on the girl, and they're listening for that. "Yeah, my last girlfriend was fucking around with other guys, what a bitch" "My ex wife was such a horrible person..."

Alphas don't bitch about the personal failings of the women they banged it didn't work out with. They don't care. They can get a new girl anytime they want.

The ultimate pathological example of this betaness is that guy Egon Jabroni who posted a rant about Zoe Quinn and her hoe-ing ways online, and started GamerGate. If an alpha were to find out a girl he was banging was that level of hoe after three months, he'd just shrug and delete her phone number.

So I disagree with WIA here somewhat. When I mention other relationships, the term "she" never comes up. It's "we" or "I." "The relationship had run its course...We wanted different things" is a solid one for me.

When girls tell me the reasons for their own relationships ending, I also listen carefully. If it was because they were all douchebags, I get out fast, because I'm next!

Edit: I guess "She let herself go" isn't a bad one - it's not implying that she wronged you personally, it's more that she failed herself. I guess the difference is that if a guy who is beta is going to blame the girl, it's because his ego feels slighted ("What a bitch!"), while a guy who is alpha will blame more what you might call "existential factors."