Post: #1

one thing that has struck me is that in Germany if I start talking to a girl my age (e.g. who Ive seen at college before), the first reaction is that their shocked that someone they havent spoken to before just speaks to them (youre basically breaking an unspoken social rule "dont talk to a stranger!"). usually turned into some friendly small talk, so its alright...

in comparison some 40yr old southern american woman at the (german) super market (no she wasnt trying to get laid lol) standing next to me asks me a question, starts to joke briefly and touches my arm before she moves on.

Is talking to strangers (and thus approaching) a lot more socially accepted in southern european / southern american countries?

Post: #2

Quote:Is talking to strangers (and thus approaching) a lot more socially accepted in southern european / southern american countries?

There are definitely cultural differences. Day game was quite awful in Iceland. The girls never opened up, but even with American girls you may need to chat for a couple minutes until they get relaxed.

You just need to ask yourself if the problem is the culture or your approach. Have you heard of other guys picking up German girls during the day?

Post: #3

(07-17-2011 05:08 PM)GermanDude Wrote:  one thing that has struck me is that in Germany if I start talking to a girl my age (e.g. who Ive seen at college before), the first reaction is that their shocked that someone they havent spoken to before just speaks to them (youre basically breaking an unspoken social rule "dont talk to a stranger!"). usually turned into some friendly small talk, so its alright...

in comparison some 40yr old southern american woman at the (german) super market (no she wasnt trying to get laid lol) standing next to me asks me a question, starts to joke briefly and touches my arm before she moves on.

Is talking to strangers (and thus approaching) a lot more socially accepted in southern european / southern american countries?

I think one of the reasons cold approach is so hard for guys isn't only the fear of approaching itself, but the difficulties that come with trying to have a productive conversation with a woman who is not putting out an open vibe. I know that if I'm in a bar and a woman is giving me IOI looks, she will be easy to have a conversation with. She will have a vibe of openness that makes the whole thing more relaxed and the conversation and kino just flow better. It will likely be a lot more fun than talking with a girl who is cold. She is much more likely to return my call/text. Trying to warm up a woman that is not open to you can just be a pain in the ass. Not saying you shouldn't do it. There are guys in this forum that have clearly worked it into a science. But I totally see why many guys just don't like cold approaching and I don't think they're necessarily being beta if they don't.

Post: #4

thanks for both of your replies.

i wanted to keep it short - so here's some more background info...I used to have social anxiety issues (from public speaking to "forget about approaching girls";)) and built my way up over time by working on it dilligently...so have gotten to the point, where in the right settings (college campus, especially libraries where i spend a ton of time) i do overcome that obstacle of approaching girls. once I do overcome that inhibition and approach them, the conversation isnt much of a problem, at all.

did think quite a bit about other cultures and how people behave in them recently, though...so have been wondering: maybe in a different culture (brazil, italy, ...) where it is socially accepted to have small talk with strangers, I would already be at the level where i could talk to women outside of the settings im comfortable in (thus do it everywhere) ....and have a close to 100% success rate of approaching/talking to chicks in library settings, etc.

its not thaaat important really. just had me wondering if in those places my approach skills would be way better than here (im definitely better than the average guy at this, here, btw - a few years ago i was as bad as it gets).

PS: I dont really see other people approach women during the day. actually i didnt see it that much at night/at clubs, either LOL. last time i saw someone approach a woman / girl during the day...was...one of the hairdressers (exp) where i get my haircut...some dude asked her for her phone number (and her colleagues were kind of shocked). he ended up getting the #.

that's what makes it more difficult i assume - if i knew the colleagues of some hair dresser i like (lol) wont be surprised if i ask for her number (bc it happens regularly) itd be a lot easier to do that kind of approach.

so far library + college campus are the settings ive settled for.

Post: #5

I agree with Speakeasy. During the day time, it takes a little time for women to warm up and sometimes its hard to feel 100% relaxed when they're not relaxed. Its one of the reasons why i don't like doing it as much as i use to. But generally, it seems in America...the hotter the woman is...the more open off the bat she is from my experience.

Post: #6

There are great cultural differences when it comes to talking to strangers. In some cultures, chatting with those people around you, even if they are strangers , is almost a natural thing to do. It isn't akward and you rarely have difficulties finding a topic to talk about. You actually don't have to have lenghty conversations, a remark on this or that, a few words., eye contact, a smile is enough...people "interact" with each other. This is what I experienced with South Americans ( Peruvians and Columbians to be precises) and to a lesser extent, Brits and Americans.

In Germany, that's clearly not the case.

If you have the ability to chat up girls in the library, you're definitely way ahead of 99% of German guys.

Btw, - so you are the "dude" who registered under the nick I wanted to chose, lol.

Post: #7

I just deleted my previous post in this thread by accident so I'm gonna be more brief:

Yes, there are significant cultural differences when it comes to talking to strangers. Most Germans are afraid of it while in other cultures, people enjoy having a chat when standing in line or when at the bar etc.

You just don't see people interacting with each other that much in Germany. and regarding night life - like you, Germandude, I rarely ever see guys in Germany making approaches in clubs, it just doesn't happen.

Post: #8

I just noticed how weird it is that guys over here dont even approach at the club. that's really weird.

last time i remember someone approaching at night was at some kind of festival at the bus stop (think oktoberfest on a small scale). he did approach, but was super clumsy when trying to make the conversation. he approached south american exchange students or something like that (clearly south american not german)...i just realized that they were fairly nice to him despite the situation being extremely awkward (he didnt know what to say, but kept trying).

the library setting is what I've settled for so far, bc I spend a lot of time there. I actually feel much much more comfortable approaching there than I do here. and i really mean outside of the library...where people hang out when they take a break to eat, etc..

i definitely find it easier than at a club.

Post: #9

(07-16-2011 03:53 PM)esperar Wrote:  in comparison some 40yr old southern american woman at the (german) super market (no she wasnt trying to get laid lol) standing next to me asks me a question, starts to joke briefly and touches my arm before she moves on.

Is talking to strangers (and thus approaching) a lot more socially accepted in southern european / southern american countries?

The woman's behaviour that you describe is very normal in Brazil(and probably in other SA countries ,Italy, Spain etc.)
Not everyone likes "touching" while talking with strangers, but it happens a lot (its annoying sometimes,believe me).Most people here use lots of hand gestures while talking and random physical contact can occur.Here the norm is to kiss a girl in the cheek instead of a hand shake in non-formal situations.

I've never been to a Northern Eu country yet, but I'm pretty sure that I will experience a cultural shock.

Post: #10

(07-17-2011 05:08 PM)GermanDude Wrote:  one thing that has struck me is that in Germany if I start talking to a girl my age (e.g. who Ive seen at college before), the first reaction is that their shocked that someone they havent spoken to before just speaks to them (youre basically breaking an unspoken social rule "dont talk to a stranger!"). usually turned into some friendly small talk, so its alright...

in comparison some 40yr old southern american woman at the (german) super market (no she wasnt trying to get laid lol) standing next to me asks me a question, starts to joke briefly and touches my arm before she moves on.

Is talking to strangers (and thus approaching) a lot more socially accepted in southern european / southern american countries?

I just got back germany so I know where you're coming from.
I dont know if youre actually germany or not.
But i stand out in germany and break the social rule.

I even go as far as doing something as simple as tapping girls on the shoulder and start a conversation.
Most german girls are so un-used to that approach that they either show interest or bitch shield like a bad russian chick.

If you happen to be america(probably not) approach like a typical american.
straight up approach-small talk-go for number/instadate.

dont follow the pack of normal german guys and be a wall rider.
go out an break the social norm and talk to her.

__
In fact..unlike lots of places ever german girl smashed answers their phone or text.
if she doesnt like you..she will be honest and tell you to leave her alone.
there didnt seem so be a(give numbers like candy)

Post: #11

hehe only now I realize how bad the situation is over here LOL, but its true im afraid.

Anyway...Ive come from having severe approach anxiety (i was considered a hopeless case on a social phobia forum where i posted by a few people LOL), to being fairly comfortable talking to strangers (esp. girls ) at the libraqry setting where i feel comfortable right now.

obviously aim at improving further bc approaching is such a ridiculous part of the game and ive already learned how much better it is this way.

anyway i believe that approaching chicks in publicin brazil,etc. (if i can speak the language... - maybe in english speaking places e.g. college settings + libraries of international business kind of curriculums?), may be a lot more fun for me already, bc it gotta be that much easier if you dont expect to get a "huh? why in the world would you talk to me stranger?"-reaction.

Post: #12

Im also in a western european country and experience the same... i have found the western european chicks to open up only when they are on holiday though or when they are drunk...

Post: #13

I've spent pretty much my entire adolscence in Germany, and I can partially confirm this...

As far as night game is concerned, it's true that men approaching women they don't know is a very rare occurence. This became more obvious to me when I saw how things were in other countries, where you could see people approaching and hooking up and making out all around you by 1 a.m.

In China, I could expect to make out with a girl every third night I went out, and I got an SNL every fifth or sixth night.
In Prague, I at least got relatively friendly reactions from the first 10 approaches (1 night), the eleventh approach (day game) resulted in an SDL (same day lay).

I almost never see this happen in German clubs. On an average night, I have to approach in massive amounts just to get a prolongued conversation here, as I usually get blown out of the water before I've even finished speaking. I'm not sure what's to blame here, my (lack of) game or the environment.

I can't say the same thing about conversations during the daytime, however. Under the right circumstances, it's not terribly difficult to start a conversation with a girl in a place like a library or a bus stop if you know what to say.

Post: #14

Approachability definitely depends on the culture.

Americans and Latin Americans are much more open to conversations with strangers than Germans.

People in Germany just don't talk to each other anymore in public, it's pretty fucked up imho. It's all about social circle here.

That's not to say you cannot approach during the day here, you definitely can, sometimes with very positive reactions, because deep down every girl wants to be approached by a confident guy instead of having beta guys trying the friendzone angle for months and years or poking her on FakeBook because they are too afraid of showing their sexuality and masculinity...and that's what happens most of the time here.

Since people in general are so socially inhibited in Germany, and, adding to that, guys are so inconfident and scared by feminist culture, a girl can be a smoking hot 10 in a club and don't get approached once during the night. I'm not kidding.


I approach girls in supermarkets, girls sitting in Cafés or in clubs and I'm usually the only one.

You have to break free from the common held belief that talking to strangers makes you an akward, desperate creep. Sadly that's what a lot of Germans think.

Post: #15

Germans in general are kinda socially handicapped if youd compare them to Spanish, Latin and even American guys. Lots cant do proper small talk, we only dance and sing when we are drunk and a big German fear is causing commotion, hence, "the German" is no approach machine like eg. the stereotypical Italian. This is kinda sad for my compatriots, but actually pretty convinient for me, since fewer dudes approaching = less competition.

Post: #16

(04-22-2012 07:12 AM)sheesh Wrote:  Approachability definitely depends on the culture.

Americans and Latin Americans are much more open to conversations with strangers than Germans.

People in Germany just don't talk to each other anymore in public, it's pretty fucked up imho. It's all about social circle here.

That's not to say you cannot approach during the day here, you definitely can, sometimes with very positive reactions, because deep down every girl wants to be approached by a confident guy instead of having beta guys trying the friendzone angle for months and years or poking her on FakeBook because they are too afraid of showing their sexuality and masculinity...and that's what happens most of the time here.

Since people in general are so socially inhibited in Germany, and, adding to that, guys are so inconfident and scared by feminist culture, a girl can be a smoking hot 10 in a club and don't get approached once during the night. I'm not kidding.


I approach girls in supermarkets, girls sitting in Cafés or in clubs and I'm usually the only one.

You have to break free from the common held belief that talking to strangers makes you an akward, desperate creep. Sadly that's what a lot of Germans think.

For the most part it is very true about people staying in their social circle. But then again, on more than one occasion, I've been at my base of operations and chatting with the bartender/d.j. and been approached by girls asking "where I was from." But this is not the norm.

I couldn't tell you the last time I saw a german girl or guy out by themselves at a bar or club.

Also, I have to tone down my sarcastic American comments, they either don't understand or are put off. It kind of makes me think it has much in common with Denmark as the way Roosh describes it (complete with weird ass hair styles) in bang denmark.

Plowing/ramble/elderly openers are key, girls will often give you little/nothing to work with.

Like was mentioned previously, approaching at day will put you light years ahead of 99% of Germans.

Post: #17

[quote='sheesh' pid='199283' dateline='1335096777']
Approachability definitely depends on the culture.

[quote]People in Germany just don't talk to each other anymore in public, it's pretty fucked up imho. It's all about social circle here.[/quote]
It might be a generational thing. Older Germans (60 and up) generally start conversations with strangers all the time.

[quote]a girl can be a smoking hot 10 in a club and don't get approached once during the night. I'm not kidding.[/quote]

As I said, you usually only see people making out in a German club if they walked in together.

I once had a fling with a girl from Northern Germany (I live in the South). She was once approached by a guy who simply walked up to her table and quickly hand her a note before mumbling something and running off. She didn't even have time to see his face.

In general, social circle game is the only game in town for 99% of German guys.

Post: #18

haha I was watching a documentary on TV yesterday about Brazilian Writer Paulo Coelho , and he mentioned that the first time he went to Norway he held the door open for a chick that was carrying grocery bags and was behind him when he was about to left the store , only to be viciously reprehended by the Girl ("I don't need man" attitude) . He was shocked , environment is everything.

Post: #19

Actually German women respond very good to pick up.They just do not like small talk.You have to appear intelligent.For example "how are you?" sounds stupid in German.
I remember when I was in a disco in Frankfurt with another Greek and I opened sets of German girls one after the other with very good response.Some Americans were watching me with admiration and at some point they pushed my hand which was close to the ass of girls,as I was talking on them so that my hand would grab their ass.I laughed by it and the German women were never insulted.
Actually in most cases I spoke to German or,Scandinavian women my hand touched and caressed their asses they have a fetish for that.With polish girls I prefer to touch the interior of thighs or put my hand under their skirts or trousers from behind and grab the flesh underneath.In some cases my hand reached deep inside close to their pussy and ass.

Post: #20

My next trip will very likely be several countries in Central Europe, including Germany. But the reviews you guys are giving of Germany is making me consider skipping it. It doesn't sound like a good place to go if you are not setting up camp there for awhile.

A few specific questions:

What do you think is better over there? Bars/lounges or clubs? Is there ANY sort of mingling culture to speak of in their nightlife scene? Or does everyone just show up in mixed sets of friends that you can't penetrate unless you know someone? Will the women ever be flirty with guys outside their circle?

Is pipelining useful or do they only want to talk to guys who will stick around for awhile?

Post: #21

(04-22-2012 04:47 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  My next trip will very likely be several countries in Central Europe, including Germany. But the reviews you guys are giving of Germany is making me consider skipping it. It doesn't sound like a good place to go if you are not setting up camp there for awhile.

A few specific questions:

What do you think is better over there? Bars/lounges or clubs? Is there ANY sort of mingling culture to speak of in their nightlife scene? Or does everyone just show up in mixed sets of friends that you can't penetrate unless you know someone? Will the women ever be flirty with guys outside their circle?

Is pipelining useful or do they only want to talk to guys who will stick around for awhile?

I think Germany or at least Berlin is great for picking up girls. There are lots of em, especially during the summer months. The nightlife is as good as its gets and its a rather cheap place to live, think 1000-1200€/month. Very international city, people from all over the world.

Random Hookups, SNLs, people fucking in toilets, whatever you want. Germans stereotypically are maybe, as I wrote earlier, socially handicapped, but that doesnt mean that we dont fuck as much as everybody else. Sure, Germans aint got shit on Argentineans, when it comes to fearlessly approaching, for example, but still there are thousands of Germans spitting game everyday. Game works in Germany, like everywhere else. Day game does, too, I did it and so can you.

Bottom line, if you are travelling through Western Europe and are into night game and tecno, Berlin is THE choice.

Post: #22

(04-22-2012 04:47 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  My next trip will very likely be several countries in Central Europe, including Germany. But the reviews you guys are giving of Germany is making me consider skipping it. It doesn't sound like a good place to go if you are not setting up camp there for awhile.

A few specific questions:

What do you think is better over there? Bars/lounges or clubs? Is there ANY sort of mingling culture to speak of in their nightlife scene? Or does everyone just show up in mixed sets of friends that you can't penetrate unless you know someone? Will the women ever be flirty with guys outside their circle?

Is pipelining useful or do they only want to talk to guys who will stick around for awhile?

Don't get me wrong. It's not that SNLs and hookups never happen, it's just noticably less than in some other parts. It strongly depends on the club or bar you visit. The city you go to can also be a factor.

Berlin has a different vibe in general than other parts of the country, and people are known to be more open there. Hamburg's nightlife also supposedly has a very good environment for pickup and hooking up, but I can't confirm this firsthand. If your game is tight you will get laid here, too.

Post: #23

(04-22-2012 05:43 PM)BoiBoi Wrote:  Random Hookups, SNLs, people fucking in toilets, whatever you want. Germans stereotypically are maybe, as I wrote earlier, socially handicapped, but that doesnt mean that we dont fuck as much as everybody else. Sure, Germans aint got shit on Argentineans, when it comes to fearlessly approaching, for example, but still there are thousands of Germans spitting game everyday. Game works in Germany, like everywhere else. Day game does, too, I did it and so can you.

Lived in Germany for three years and wanted to confirm what he says, that people do fuck and do go out, but the whole vibe has something wrong to it, that I as a southern european find hard to crack. The first thing is the social circle issue. People dont want to loose their friends or make new ones because, I believe, they are afraid of judgement and rejection. So they cling for decades to what they have as if to feel "saved" from having to go out there and make things happen, specially girls give off that vibe of "being saved", which is exactly the opposite of what you can learn in Day Bang. Some call it "abundance mentality", or lone wolf, independent approach to life, that you really only find in outsiders who come from a worse economic background or had to struggle with the language. Two times happened to me that girls say "if you had approached me 2 years ago I would have for sure been with you", after rejecting me for "having a boyfriend", which shows that they didnt use to get day cold approached, no matter if they are hot or not. They are surprised that you do, some even praise you for it, they do understand it takes balls.

And that leads us to the second topic, the way germans socialize. Im speaking of more or less "germanized" people (because eastern europeans are more relaxed, italians, greeks... are always good vibe), of course, say, arab migrants have a whole different view on game and sexuality. I would describe the way native germans communicate as "formulaic rambling". They usually have bland opinions, very generalistic, even though they always think they are way more clever than you. They are not "direct". What that word means is your flaws shall be called out inmediately, but if you call them out they will deny things or try to act as if you are crazy or making things up. They try to navigate through life without making much noise, they want to be accepted. I have a german friend that has a long term relationship since 2 years. Now the girl parts to university in a city far from here, and the guy simply cant let go. He refuses to move on because deep inside he knows he has no game. And guess how she got the girlfriend (a pretty and fit blonde)? EXACTLY, you know it. She even was the FIRST girl she met in the city, introduced to him by HER sister, being my mate friend with friends of the sister. So many people absolutely depend on social circle, you see it when you go out, they always go in big groups, to "have fun", which is drink, shout, dance, and walk around. It feels like fear is floating in the air unless you are protected by your pack and "saved" by your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Im not so good in night game, im still young and beggining in the game, but overall I think day game is STILL a better option for outsiders, specially if you look a bit different and come from exotic countries. You caThe language is necessary though, unless you have the luck of finding the right girl (horny and drunk) in the right moment in the right place in the right time of HER life. Anyway you can almost always make some english work, but its more like a tool between foreigners, you are expected to speak german. What Im increasingly observing anyway is that you have to take the chances as quick as you can. If you give them not days, but hours, they will flake with lame excuses, or plain ignore you. They are very disrespectful and entittled in general. I find it best to use the surprise factor in order to make things flow the way you want, and not the way they want, because they dont know what they want, aside of having things as easy as possible in every way (again, the "I have a boyfriend, im saved" attitude, and if its not the boyfriend, its the father, and if not the State. Most girls are "strong independent womyn" which sometimes is annoying, in my opinion.)

Thats my take on german girls and gaming in southern germany, quite negative, I wont apologise because it is the reality I observe every day. I guess that when I leave this country I will have suddenly much more success, as when Goku from Dragon Ball trained with a lot of atmospheres of pressure, and afterwards with normal pressure moves at lightspeed. Probably after this "correct and friendly" hellhole that is southern Germany is over, I will find places usually considered hard to game, such as Italy or Spain, just average or even easy. Im still a begginer in gaming though, but thats my 2 cents.

Post: #24

I remember a time when I took the bus, I was the only one to enter and the bus was completely empty, only bus driver and me. 2 minutes later this latina women comes in, and sits down RIGHT next to me. No scandic person would ever do this, later I found out this is normal in some cultures, they dont want you to be lonely, this was the explanation I got from a latina friend.