Post: #1

... for friendship and acquaintanceship.

There was an interesting thread in the Newbie Sub-forum about male friendships - /thread-55034.html -which i believe warranted a related thread.

As long as a man has the following 3 attributes ... i don't sweat the other stuff too much

1) Loyalty - has your back, willing to lend a helping hand in times of need
2) A Good heart - not stingy, means well, not jealous
3) Authenticity

I'm willing to overlook or negotiate on stuff like lateness, flaking, self-destructive behavior, opposing political views, weird mannerisms,feminine behavior, attention-whoring or low self-esteem as long as the above 3 are in line. All within reason ofcourse.

What are your 3 non-negotiable positive attributes or negative deal-breakers with other men?

Post: #2

I was gonna say, I don't think most guys here date men

I like your list but somewhere I would like to squeeze in:

1) Keeps his word - his word is his bond. He says he will handle something, you can take it to the bank
2) Knows the code - it sounds weird but there is just sort of a man code - more like old school mafia code I guess. Hard to really put it into words - but when you meet someone you get he knows how to be a guy and when you meet other guys - you figure he was raised by a single mom.
3) Mensch

There is probably a lot of overlap here, with somethings being captured by another word.

With all respect, you can't have authenticity and have attention whoring exist together - attention whoring is, to me at least, pretty opposite of authenticity, it is fake, which is not authentic. You could argue that he was an authentic attention whore (meaning that is who he really is) - but I don't think you were going there with that and I wouldn't want to be around an attention whore. He will be the guy that starts shit (like a fight) when he is with a group of guys, but he would never start shit on his own.

Post: #3

Friendship and acquaintanceship are two different worlds.

For acquaintanceship (someone with whom I will willingly associate with from time to time):
Common interest(s).
Not a shitbag/social retard/etc.
Beneficial to my life in someway.

For a friend (someone I can confide in and connect with on a deeper level beyond the above 3 things):
Reliable.
Honest.
Trustworthy.

Post: #4

(04-10-2016 11:21 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  As long as a man has the following 3 attributes ... i don't sweat the other stuff too much

1) Loyalty - has your back, willing to lend a helping hand in times of need
2) A Good heart - not stingy, means well, not jealous
3) Authenticity

Good list. Although loyalty is tricky, since if you ask me it has to be earned and then maintained, but then what is loyalty if it's subject to change based on one's present behavior. I dunno, I might say "integrity" in place of loyalty. Loyalty can sometimes be blinding, people get loyal to individuals and ideas and cliques they should really be questioning.

(04-10-2016 11:21 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  I'm willing to overlook or negotiate on stuff like lateness, flaking, self-destructive behavior, opposing political views, weird mannerisms,feminine behavior, attention-whoring or low self-esteem as long as the above 3 are in line. All within reason ofcourse.

What are your 3 non-negotiable positive attributes or negative deal-breakers with other men?

1) insecurity (goes with attention whoreing)
2) dishonesty/lack of integrity (ie not saying what you mean or meaning what you say)
3) laziness/weakness of character (guys who don't work out or take care of themselves, don't try to better themselves, etc.)

Post: #5

I believe we will see a lot of overlapping. In order for me to be able to befriend someone he needs to be:

- Honest --> most important factor. We live in a dishonest world and I’ve grown tired of snakes within my inner most circles when I wish to relax and unwind.
- Trustworthy --> if we make a deal then he honors it.
- Loyal --> I hate backstabbers.

Deal – breakers:

- Narcissism --> fun at first but things go down quickly after that.
- Liars --> I deal with them enough already.
- Aimlessness --> spirit draining and have/will hold you back.

Good friends are hard to come by and a legit crew is even harder to build. Thank God for this forum.

Post: #6

1. Propensity for critical, independent thought. And a willingness to be proven wrong or at least able to recognise when someone is able to teach them something.

2. Following on from 1. A life worth living. Have they got the experience to match their worldview. i.e. authenticity.

3. Honour & loyalty to a fault. The 'shirt off my back' kind of man.

I value these 3 things most highly as this is what I offer in spades to those worthy few I have met in my lifetime.

If a man has these qualities I may look to build a friendship. If not, he will never be more than aquaintance.

Post: #7

I would say I agree with your 3 qualities Anabasis to Desta. I really like dudes who are just straight up with things. I hate people who tip toe behind your back.

How I think of it is, would I go to battle with the guy.

Post: #8

That he:

1. Not be a beta choad/white knight

2. Have some degree of ambition or purpose with his life

3. Be loyal rather than a manipulative SOB

Post: #9

-Mutually Earned Respect and with that comes to being the first person to confront me about any issues they see/have with me(any kind of passive aggressive bullshit in regards to this and sneaking disses is a grievous violation).

-Strong Sense of Personal Code of Ethics/Honor that they hold themselves too.

-People whom live up to their potential or attempt to do so. Anyone willing to go the extra mile to perfect whom they are is amazing in my book.

Acquaintances and Connects are people I have a working relationship with where things are beneficial to me or for both of us. As long as they aren't idiots who won't embarrass my crew(for the night) or are willing to be roasted by everyone in that crew for being embarrassing they can roll with me/my people.

Post: #10

1. Intellectual integrity: always learning, excited when gaining knowledge, quick and harsh to judge, but open to well-reasoned persuasion.

2. Earnestness: passionate (to a fault) about at least one thing that brings value to others' lives (mainly this value would be measured by the fact that people are willing to pay for it with money, time, or attention).

3. Genuine Confidence: for this I mean that he would carry himself with solid physical and mental posture. A realist who nonetheless would look for a positive way to frame every situation or grow from objectively bad ones.

From these three qualities, if given in return, loyalty would come. It was hard to omit loyalty from the list, but as another poster indicated, giving it would be conditional.

Post: #11

Is an established member of this forum.


That's it.

Post: #12

"feminine behavior, attention-whoring"

This shit, I hate. These types of guys don't get along well with me anyway because i usually make fun of them for it. Correlated to this kind of behaviour is a frail ego. They don't last long. The attention whores try to take centerstage, and when that fails they stick like glue to the guy with the most social proof. If that's me, no amount of shaming puts them off.
Be very, very careful with feminine and attention whoring guys. They will stab you in the back, and seek to undermine you incessantly. The more you up your status, the more this'll be the case.

Post: #13

He absolutely cannot be more hung than me, ever. Nothing spoils taking a girl to Paris and she enjoys your mates backdoor shenanigans than what you can muster.


Integrity, isn't shady/two-faced and isn't a violent idiot when sober or drunk.

Post: #14

Fidelity, honesty, and justice.

Post: #15

1. Loyal/trustworthy. I´ve "broken up" with bros who talked shit and spread rumours (really bad rumours) about me behind my back, really opened my eyes as they were my closest friends at that time.

2. Positive attitude/open minded. I lost my friends back from high school over time. I´m sure if I see them today I would still have fun and talk about the good old days. But I remember how they were so negative and were bitching about everything all the time. I do agree that there are stupid people/things in the world we can talk about, but when you just bitch about stuff without doing anything about it, I say adios.

3. Outgoing/social. Let´s be honest, I´m an outgoing person and my best male friend should be too, otherwise we wouldn´t be able to do a lot of stuff together.

Post: #16

I had a couple of close friends who had most of the qualities listed, but we've recently had bad falling outs over their hardcore blue pill mindsets. I guess you can categorize that deficiency as a lack of open mindedness and intellectual integrity.

One of them, whom I've known for 20+ years, raved about the movie Carol. I tried to point out its agenda and that didn't get too far. Of course he's a Hillary voter and rabidly anti-Trump. He's a pretty bright guy, but with a huge blind spot when it comes to being critical about social issues and cultural propaganda. Needless to say we've grown apart.

Post: #17

I knew I could never continue in a relationship with the man I was dating when he cowered down from a bully when another man with his family cut in front of a long line to get into an exhibit. He acted like he didn't see it and turned away. I was ready to say something to the guy, but changed my mind to avoid embarrassing my boyfriend. Right then and there I knew I could never count on him to protect me or my children. Men are expected to be willing to lay down their lives for their wife and family. May be old fashion, but women still need to be able to count on a man, and not just in theory... Society has turned into a cesspool because of Men's apathy.

Post: #18

^




What is with this over abundance of female trolls? What part of men only board don't you get?

We need a safe space too.

Post: #19

She doesn't even bother hiding the fact that she is a woman, I don't really think she gets what we are trying to do on this board.

Post: #20

(04-11-2016 12:01 PM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  He absolutely cannot be more hung than me, ever. Nothing spoils taking a girl to Paris and she enjoys your mates backdoor shenanigans than what you can muster.


Integrity, isn't shady/two-faced and isn't a violent idiot when sober or drunk.

You know they say you're the average of your five closest friends...

Post: #21

(04-11-2016 02:15 PM)eradicator Wrote:  She doesn't even bother hiding the fact that she is a woman, I don't really think she gets what we are trying to do on this board.

You sound like you thought she would be capable of that, her intention was just to be annoying. Probably like she is in real life - annoying. Childless, possibly unemployed because if she had anything going on in her life, she wouldn't be posting.

Even worse, she didn't take her one chance and start a useless thread, such an underachiever.

She is currently reading the forum even after being banned - like any chick, once you give her a good dicking and then reject her she keeps coming back for your DNA yogurt.

Post: #22

Everything you guys list is good. I haven't seen this though so thought I'd add it.

- Must be a good wing.

I know guys that have all the qualities everyone has listed but just fucking suck at being a good wing. I refuse to go out with them in a situation where I need a good wing, I'd rather roll solo. So in addition to everything I add this.

Post: #23

I guess we all look for different qualities.

Not all my friends are alike, they have the common solid guy values/character but around the edges they are different.

Some are very introverted, some extroverted, some heavy drinkers, some not. Some talk about red pill, others don't know the terms but they live it. Some will knock you the fuck out, some are not fighters. All different races, and ages.

I am not saying this is what guys do: But I would caution guys from trying to find friendships with guys that are too similar. You only grow as a person by being exposed to new and different things, the same sort of guys are just gonna share with you the same sort of things.

Post: #24

Most of the qualities I demand are listed above. Certainly, being able to rely on a friend and his word is very important to me.

As I get older, I can probably count the number of guys I know like this on less than 3 fingers.

Post: #25

A man who is of good character.

A man who masters himself.

A man who helps others.

A man who has purpose.


A man who can count would not be on my list.