Post: #26

Even if you wanted to help her get into her own apartment, which is a terrible idea, why get involved in this joint property venture? Why not just give her a personal loan to help with her down payment, and have that contract in place? Why do you want part ownership?

1) Quit kidding yourself that this has anything to do with an "investment" on your part.

2) What is she actually asking for? You say she is "looking for an asset"... What makes you think she'd sign any coownership contract that gives you your full share of this investment.

It's hard to even tell whether you're considering this due to relationship blindness, or thoughtless real-estate- investment blindness. Both are rampant.

Post: #27

If you're still up for an adventure.

1. set the down payment up as a soft loan which you wont expect to be paid back. of course.

2. don't get involved in the whole buying process. remember. the loan you gave out is written off, already.

3. re read BIGINJAPAN's post. seriously. i was gonna write my own experience, but he pretty much did mine amd more.

4. dont lose sleep over money you can afford to lose (hopefully)

Post: #28

Do not under any circumstances do this.

There is Nothing here but downside and future potential problems for you

Post: #29

Tell us a little about the threesomes.

Is it strictly girls, or are other gentleman involved?

This will affect the advice I give you.

Aloha!

Post: #30

The best case scenario is that after a few years you break up and either need to sell your share of the house or buy hers. Even if everything is amicable you'll still have the stress of dealing with solicitors/lawyers(they're not cheap) and all the other worries that go with transferring large sums of money.

That's the best case scenario. I can't see any upside to this arrangement.

So that's another vote for Hell No, don't do this.

Post: #31

Don't marry a bitch that's enthusiastic about having 3somes.

Post: #32

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  My background: I have been known my LTR for 4 years and we have been together for 3. We have regular threesomes and she's pretty much my recruitment agent on that.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  We've had the marriage talk and I have said in no way am I getting married to her or anybody else, given the way divorce and courts go these days.

Time for some real talk though.



When is the wedding?

Post: #33

From what you wrote it seems like she is an extremely insecure woman.

I also don't think someone witch such poor self-esteem as to actively seek out 3somes for you, should be even trusted with a secret, let alone an investment. Should definitely be kept in harem though.

When you talk "investment", you talk return, but the only return I see from this is a lot of headache at best and potential financial disaster at worst.

Just don't do it man.

Plus, like others have said, you've been in LTR for 4 years, and has no intention of marriage. You've got a much bigger problem on your plate than worrying about investing in her. When she finally learn that all hope of retaining you is lost, and that she wasted 4 years with you, I can only imagine "Hell hath no fury"......

I hope the OP is reading the thread and taking it seriously, not the "no, she is different and this would work out/she deserves it" I way too often hear from people. Somehow I feel a chill reading the OP post...

Post: #34

(04-06-2016 09:33 PM)christpuncher Wrote:  Even if you wanted to help her get into her own apartment, which is a terrible idea, why get involved in this joint property venture? Why not just give her a personal loan to help with her down payment, and have that contract in place? Why do you want part ownership?

1) Quit kidding yourself that this has anything to do with an "investment" on your part.

2) What is she actually asking for? You say she is "looking for an asset"... What makes you think she'd sign any coownership contract that gives you your full share of this investment.

It's hard to even tell whether you're considering this due to relationship blindness, or thoughtless real-estate- investment blindness. Both are rampant.

Summary:

She wants your resources: which is why every girl wants to get married...for long term security. She will probably some how get pregnant before this scenario plays out but...if it doesn't...

If you want to actually do this, have her sign the debt, and you provide a small portion of the equity...create a trust, fund the trust, and have the trust provide equity...if something goes wrong, your trustee will handle it and the court will see it better that way besides the verbally abusive ex-boyfriend that doesn't deserve his capital back. Not sure what country you are in...but in the US...as we know - women some how got the right to vote, but actually have no responsibility for their actions or have any idea what consequences are - she will probably default when you break up, or find some other reason that it happened if she has no skin in the game....make it a 3rd party, and make sure she contributes something meaningful for herself.

if you stay together long-term, this doesn't matter. I will be surprised if she goes for this anyway as really its a shit test...woman dont want to deal with responsibility.

"the talk" is coming.

boom

Post: #35

Quote:I was wondering whether to put this in the Game section, but it's about investing, so I decided to put it here.

I think this is equally Game/Finacial or even Newbie subforum. In reality this is NOT about investing, but about dealing with an LTR.

Quote:My background: I have been known my LTR for 4 years and we have been together for 3. We have regular threesomes and she's pretty much my recruitment agent on that. We've had the marriage talk and I have said in no way am I getting married to her or anybody else, given the way divorce and courts go these days. I currently own my own apartment with the mortgage half paid off. We're both 27.

You (think you've) made it clear what you can/want to give her (on an emotional and financial level). She will try to renegotiate.

Her pitch:

Quote:She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

Quote:Here's where I come in. The extra money I have invested allows me to access these funds and assist with the purchase of her apartment.

Is she more or less aware of how much money you have?

Quote:It'll be in her name so she has the security she is looking for and the mortgage risk is all hers.

She's looking for security. Also it's not correct that the mortgage risk is all hers. Since you'd pay the downpayment (let's say it's 20%), the apartment would have to be sold for less than 80% of the original price (20% downpayment + whatever was payed off along the years) for her to run any risk with the bank. Unless the market completely crashes, the risk is all yours.

Quote:I'll have a contract drafted up stating I own a percentage of the apartment depending on my contribution.
All monthly rental and bills are to be split according to % ownership
Clause in the contract that if she sells before 5 years, I get my % share of the selling price + xx% penalty for early sale
If she sells after 5 years I get my % share of the selling price

The idea is to rent it out, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have to split rental and bills.
When I first read it, I thought the idea was she would live there. Basically a girl trying to make the step from renting to home owner. And I thought you might wanna help her (even if financially it doesn't make sense at all). For instance because you think her current place is too far or uncomfortable for you. and you prefer that she lives nearer for practical reasons. But it seems like the idea is you'll rent it out, and part of her pitch is that she wants to invest, but can't afford an appartment. Why does she need to invest in an appartment? Also this idea of her paying a penalty for selling early means she is the one that controls when and to who she sells it to (correct?). Guess what happens when you're not together. She could sell it to her new boyfriend, brother, parents etc for cheap. Making sure you didn't make any money

Quote:Basically I'm looking at this to be a long term property investment for myself with a sound contract in place ensuring that even if things go nuclear, my money is protected and I'll make a return on it.

Do you need her to invest in an apartment to rent out? Essentially your idea is that you come up with the downpayment (right?), and she'll get the mortgage. I don't know how the interest rates in your market (South Africa?), but it seems to me you're taking the risk (downpayment) while she's getting the rewards.

Quote:Your thoughts?

NO!
At some level you're bullshitting yourself. You say you're looking at it to be a long term investment, but really you're letting yourself be guilt tripped into investing money in her asset. Do you feel guilty because you won't marry her or have kids with her?

Quote:Has anyone ever done something like this?

Thanks

If you do, please keep us updated.

Post: #36

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Hi everybody,

We've had the marriage talk and I have said in no way am I getting married to her or anybody else, given the way divorce and courts go these days.

The marriage talk is recurring. Keep saying no, or do as I have done with success so far: "When I want to marry, you will be the first to know"

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  I currently own my own apartment with the mortgage half paid off. We're both 27.

If you have your own pad, I see no reason for you to get another one.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

Golden rule I learned from my grandfather: If you don't have the money for it, don't buy it.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Here's where I come in. The extra money I have invested allows me to access these funds and assist with the purchase of her apartment.

You already have an apartment. I see no reason for you to get another one, unless you want some side income. Do you think it's feasible?

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  It'll be in her name so she has the security she is looking for and the mortgage risk is all hers.

You put money up front and it's kept in her name? You're being naive.
When she get's pissed, she will have the power to anally penetrate you.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  I'll have a contract drafted up stating I own a percentage of the apartment depending on my contribution.
All monthly rental and bills are to be split according to % ownership
Clause in the contract that if she sells before 5 years, I get my % share of the selling price + xx% penalty for early sale
If she sells after 5 years I get my % share of the selling price

Contracts are nice. Following them and going to court is not. Avoid.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Basically I'm looking at this to be a long term property investment for myself with a sound contract in place ensuring that even if things go nuclear, my money is protected and I'll make a return on it.

Even though you have a contract, your money will not be protected if it's in her name. If you pay, put it in your name,

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Your thoughts?

Has anyone ever done something like this?

Thanks

My girl wanted the same. I just said no. No money, no funny. Besides, where I live (and at my age 28), it pays off to rent. I don't want to have finantial shackles.

Post: #37

I'm really happy OP posted this, and thanks for being honest as well. Lots of good advice here as far as legal and financial but to be honest I don't think the discussion should have even gone that far.

Everything that OP said had a single focus:
All the benefit is to her.

The only reason OP is even considering buying the apartment is because he doesn't want to lose the pussy, the threesomes, etc. key word being: Lose

All relationships are a game, in order to play a game you have to be willing to lose. Bad news for the OP:
She's got you.

She knows how to make you squirt off exactly how you like and now she's leveraging that power to see if it's something she can hold over you. The fact you have even entertained the idea with her, drawn up financials, posted on here tells me that this relationship is probably on its way out because you confirmed to her that she can manipulate you (weakness) with sex.

As someone said above: she doesn't want an apartment, a car, anything material. She wants a man to make her feel like a woman, and you're not doing it. You're failing this epic shit test and yet it's so easy to pass (show strength, remind her that her pussy ain't shit):

Laugh about it the next time this comes up and say its impossible. Your life together is great as it is and if she wants something else, there's the door.

You have to be willing to lose. If she decides to go be completely cold and indifferent about it. Just shrug and say good luck. I guarantee she'll stay.

Post: #38

I've made these kinds of loans to help people get ahead. It was in Latin America, and not a rich place by any stretch. So I consider it micro-credit with amounts I can afford to lose.

I don't like fractional ownership. The structure you have in mind is way too complicated.

Ideally you want the person taking the loan to be a 100% owner. They make all the decisions and own the consequences of that. If they want to voluntarily seek your advice on certain aspects of it, that's fine. But they always have the first and last word.

Your involvement is just to loan them X amount of money. You expect X amount back, plus interest. If you want to include them paying you a bonus at their discretion should things go great with the investment, you can do that too. But I would never write that into a contract, and I would never put much hope on getting that.

You would have more security if the loan is secured against an asset (like a 2nd mortgage on the apartment, or a lien on their car). You would probably have to put the 2nd mortgage on the deed after the purchase has gone through. You can't do it sooner or the bank would back out.

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Basically I'm looking at this to be a long term property investment for myself with a sound contract in place ensuring that even if things go nuclear, my money is protected and I'll make a return on it.

The above intention is going to complicate a lot of things. I'd say either finance it with the goal of helping her and no expectations for your own investment appreciation. Or don't get involved at all.

A lot depends on how much the at-risk amount is and what kinds of losses you're comfortable with.

Post: #39

Do they not have savings accounts at South African banks? What's wrong with just using that?

Post: #40

Having just signed a massive fucking cheque to my ex so that she won't pursue me through the courts for half a house that she didn't put a fucking penny into or ever have ownership of, let me help you in your dilemma.

NO. NO. NO. NO.

Post: #41

Still considering this then OP?

Post: #42

Tell her that this has given you an idea, and thank her. You should invest in an apartment but one IN YOUR NAME ONLY in a town she does not want to live in, with your funds only, that has a good rental return. (Definition of good roi in other threads)

Tell her that you will be taking that income to better yourself and to travel and you will do it alone since she doesn't have her shit together.

No one asked but I wonder if she "already" trial closed you and you have joint bank accounts or joint leases, or you have co-signed her car?

Post: #43

update?

Post: #44

If she wants to invest in herself, she can do it on the bloody stock market. A house is just one type of asset (one that you can leverage to fuck admittedly).

Post: #45

OP cannot give us an update because she controls what sites he surfs in their new pad.

Some women are "letting" their man have threesomes as a future investment.

Post: #46

(04-06-2016 10:05 PM)DrugAdvisor Wrote:  If you're still up for an adventure.

1. set the down payment up as a soft loan which you wont expect to be paid back. of course.

2. don't get involved in the whole buying process. remember. the loan you gave out is written off, already.

3. re read BIGINJAPAN's post. seriously. i was gonna write my own experience, but he pretty much did mine amd more.

4. dont lose sleep over money you can afford to lose (hopefully)

WTF? Do none of this OP ya fucking dope. Do not do this shit. What kind of pussy would even possess you to consider this horrible business/financial/life decision? I don't care if her pussy is made of gold and rainbows this is a BAD MOVE.

Post: #47

(04-06-2016 03:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  An LTR for 4 years, constant 3somes, she hunts girls for you, she knows you aren't for marriage.

All the other shit in this thread aside, why is it that when people come here asking for advice on obviously stupid crap about their relationship or girlfiend, they always cite these sorts of things (3somes, "i dont have feelings" or "shes submissive") before inevitably asking something so shortsighted as to betray their lack of experience? It's as if they;re offering tribute in RVF currency to us or something, like "don't worry guys im not beta and don't have oneitus I just have this really stupid thing I need to ask that would categorize me as such so here are some pre-ordained circumstances to assuage your otherwise accurate appraisal of my betatude"

...and then proceed to ask really dumb questions where they have to draw this really convoluted picture about how this horrible idea maybe isn't so bad?

Just shoot straight with us damnit.

Maybe because just typing their question in plain english would make it harder for them to jump through their own hamster obstacle course? And they'd then realize how fucking obvious the answer to their query was? In which case the conclusion would be that they don't want real answers but affirmations of their self-contained delusions? I can only guess.

Post: #48

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  Your thoughts?

Post: #49

I personally can't judge him because I am not in his shoes.

If a hot girlfriend of mine brings another one like her constantly for nasty shits almost all men would never experience, how can it not impair your logical thinking.....

Maybe he has an economical figure per 3some and is willing to risk that amount of money in exchange for pleasure? lol

Post: #50

Terrible idea, why is it your job to build a safety net for her? She can do that for herself. At very most if your more stable financially maybe you pickup more of the household bills to allow her to save more but I wouldn't be buying her apartments or giving her cash.