Post: #26

Quote:Just because 95% of Western women are complete shit, doesn't mean all of them are.

With the sheer number of narcissists and BPD bitches out there it's become my S.O.P. to act as if they all are by default. Better to err on the side of "this bitch is cray" than not.

Quote:And treating every girl like she's worthless is a sure-fire way to make her that way.

As much as I'd want to believe the above, the sad fact of the matter is that most women have already been damaged beyond repair... long before we ever laid (heh) eyes on them. This whole "leave them better than you found them" dog just isn't going to hunt.

Men really are the true romantics.

Post: #27

Insinuate you don't like her mom, be stingy, slightly insinuate she is overweight/stupid/old, be selfish in bed, forget her birthday and so on.

All these small things that are almost an auto turnoff for girls, will help push her away.

Make sure she doesn't realize you do it on purpose.

It may not work in every case but sometimes it's a relatively easy way to end a relationship without hurting the girl too much.

Post: #28

(03-19-2016 10:45 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  Hello lads, you may remember from my recent thread about my main girl in my harem getting an abortion.
This thread is about the same girl in question and I would like to get this clear: my interest in her was dying down WELL BEFORE we even found out she was pregnant.

Anyways, I would like to know how to break things off with her while causing as little emotional pain to her as possible. She is an amazing girl. Incredibly loyal and loving. Cooks, cleans, does my laundry, wants to spend every waking moment with me, the whole nine yards. She ultimately wants to get married with me and settle down with me for good. I, on the other hand, have other plans in mind. I want to live the playboy lifestyle for at the very least a few more years (I'm 22 years old). I'd like to focus more on building myself as a man, improving my health, building up my finances, and going out and fucking NEW beautiful women.
She has never wronged me. She is the opposite of any type of woman that you would normally think of. So affectionate and caring. Always thinking about me and going to the mall to buy me random gifts even if she doesn't have much money.

It is because of this that I don't want to see her hurt. In a perfect fairytale world, she will find an amazing guy and they will settle down and live happily ever after. And I wish her nothing but pure happiness. But me being in an exclusive relationship with her is not what I want. I am not in that phase of my life yet. There is so much I still want to do. There are many other women that I still want to bed.

One possible suggestion I thought of was going no-contact; "ripping the bandaid off." But I fear that this option will devastate her and not give her any proper closure.
On the other end of the spectrum, I can give her "the talk" and tell her everything upfront. But I fear that this will devastate her as well.
Another idea is to slowly and gradually cut contact with her over time. Slowly start seeing her less and less. Maybe start slowly giving her stuff back that she left at my apartment.

I apologize for the wall of text. I don't have many red-pill friends in my life and the ones that I am friends with are young and inexperienced like myself. I would like to hear some words of wisdom from any of you gentlemen that have been in my position in the past. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers.

Asking how to break up with someone without hurting them is like asking how to swim without getting wet. If they care about you they're going to be hurt. The question you probably should be asking instead is: "What's the most drama and guilt free way I can break up with my girlfriend?" The answer to that is going to vary from person to person. But if she's a stage 5 clinger, emotional, or prone to "acting out" in public or private; then I'd do the following:

1.) Find a new side chick that passes your boner test and then some. You want to be distracted with new pussy; not sitting at home alone pining after your old ball and chain.

2.) Discreetly get all of your stuff that you want to keep out of her house.

3.) Gather up all of her stuff at your place. I mean everything. If a woman decides to go full psycho after you break up she'll use the fact that you have her old hair brush to try and harass you. Up to and including calling the police to your house to demand it back.

4.) Write a generic breakup letter, or just copy one on line. Let her know: you're a great girl, I'm not ready for a serious commitment, I need to work on me, blah blah blah. Include that you think it's better for both of you to go no contact for 6 weeks so you both can reflect. Of course you should have no intention of ever talking to her again. But it's a way to soften the blow so she won't show up at your house right after she reads the letter. If she makes it though 6 weeks of NC it's unlikely that she'll go to extreme lengths to get in touch with you after that. If she doesn't make it past the 6 week mark then you can use your NC rule as an excuse not to talk to her. Also include a part in the letter that says if there are any other items that she wants to exchange then she should contact your mutual friend. And you'll drop those items off with that friend to give to her.

5.) Go though her social media and find all the pictures of her that you hate. No matter how cute a girl is there are about to be a few. Pics that she looks fat in, that show her with her annoying friend that pisses you off, etc. Save them to a folder along with an extensive list of reasons you broke up with her; things she did that pissed you off. People tend to look at the past with rose colored classes. You'll want something that will keep you honest and remind you of why you broke up with her in the first place.

6.) Drop the letter and all of her stuff at her place. Block her in your phone and on all social media. Lay low for a while.

If use this method of course she'll call you a coward. But women you break up with trash your reputation to their friends anyway so no loss there. Also who cares if some chick you'll never see again thinks badly of you. She'll be pissed at you either way but at least this way you avoid the drama.

Of course you have to be 100% sure of your choice before doing this. There is no going back; which is the point. Personally I think you're doing the right thing. You don't want to be tied down, and women rarely get abortions twice in a row. Especially for a man that they want to lock down. You just put your life savings on the spin of a roulette wheel and won big. Now is the time to cash in your chips and run for the hills.

Post: #29

(03-19-2016 11:25 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Fade away, go colder incrementally over time. Long term plan to minimize hard fast pain.

Its debatable if hard and fast (band aid style) or slow fade is more human and kinder, everyone has their opinion.

If a chick was to do this to you, which method would you prefer... If you were really into her, which would hurt less?

According to the op she: "...wants to spend every waking moment with me, the whole nine yards. "

A woman like that will never allow you to pull the fade away. She'll start calling you and texting you all of the time, and acting crazier and crazier until you either break up with her; or renege and re-enter a defacto relationship. Maybe you're better at breaking up then I am. But I've only had success with the fade away if it was a casual or semi-casual relationship.

Post: #30

(03-20-2016 12:48 PM)Onto Wrote:  2) Be there for her. Be there for the crying, the questions, the blaming. This process could take several sessions. The purpose of this is so she can get all her feelings out, the questions answered, and to just work through it. She will be grateful to you later for this and it will help her move on.

But why?! I never understood why guys wanted to be their ex's emotional punching bag. Especially when they receive no payoff from doing it. She's going to be hurt, act crazy, and talk shit about you either way. There's nothing you can do about that. I don't see why you should suffer as well.

Quote:She will move on, she will find another guy she falls in love with, she will probably get married and have kids, etc.

My breaking up with my LTR was the best thing that could've happened to her. She's now happily married. It didn't seem that way at the time for her though.

Absolutely true. No matter how much she claims to love you in 6 months to a year she'll have found someone to replace you. She'll unfriend you on facebook and send you a message telling you not to contact her because "It makes my boyfriend/husband/whatever jealous". This has happened every time I've tried to be there for a woman I've broken up with. Even the ones that strong armed me into promising that we'd "stay friends". As always nice guys finish last. So why go out of your way to be nice?

Post: #31

There's no way to end a relationship without causing *some* emotional pain if she wants to be with you. For example, breaking up with her because you moved away is different from breaking up with her because you got her sister pregnant. It's probably best to just say you have different relationship goals goals.

Acting like a beta or treating her terriblly doesn't always work. I tried acting like a beta to end a relationship but the girl was so into me that she probably became more attracted to me. Not to mention that such a strategy is time consuming.

Post: #32

OP, why do you care about how she'll feel when you'll leave her?

Do you think that if the roles were reversed, she'd give you the same courtesy?
Whatever you do, she'll be over you in less than 2 weeks (even if she pretends the contrary).
No need to to even think about a good way to dump her, it's just a loss of time / energy.

Post: #33

(03-26-2016 07:29 PM)Latan Wrote:  OP, why do you care about how she'll feel when you'll leave her?

Do you think that if the roles were reversed, she'd give you the same courtesy?
Whatever you do, she'll be over you in less than 2 weeks (even if she pretends the contrary).
No need to to even think about a good way to dump her, it's just a loss of time / energy.

Thats what I want to hear. I really wish this is the case.

I just want her to be happy and not be damaged by what I've done to her. I really want her to move on and not carry any emotional baggage and pain around because of me.

Why do I care so much you ask? Because this girl was amazing. Solid and loyal and really cared for me. A home-body that doesn't like going out to bars or clubs. Perfect wife material. But I'm not looking for a wife at the moment.

Post: #34

(03-27-2016 08:22 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  

(03-26-2016 07:29 PM)Latan Wrote:  OP, why do you care about how she'll feel when you'll leave her?

Do you think that if the roles were reversed, she'd give you the same courtesy?
Whatever you do, she'll be over you in less than 2 weeks (even if she pretends the contrary).
No need to to even think about a good way to dump her, it's just a loss of time / energy.

Thats what I want to hear. I really wish this is the case.

I just want her to be happy and not be damaged by what I've done to her. I really want her to move on and not carry any emotional baggage and pain around because of me.

Why do I care so much you ask? Because this girl was amazing. Solid and loyal and really cared for me. A home-body that doesn't like going out to bars or clubs. Perfect wife material. But I'm not looking for a wife at the moment.

My advice would be to first find the next vine to grab onto before letting go of this one, so to speak. Obviously you're attracted to her. Find another girl first, and then let go of this one. That way, you won't be sexless and horny on Friday/Saturday nights when you are vulnerable to come right back to her. It will be much easier on your psyche and this also plays into your scheme of the "playboy" lifestyle of fucking numerous girls.

Post: #35

She's a stage 5 clinger who's 22 years old. The only way to deal with stage 5 clingers is to "rip the bandaid off." They're emotionally sensitive, and attempting to do some kind of "medium chill" thing where you gradually fade away and see her less and less definitely does NOT work with clinger girls - believe me I've been there.

If you try that you're just going to enter a world of hurt where you get endless texts saying "I've noticed you've been acting different" "what am I doing wrong" "why don't you want to talk to me" "plz respond" and so on.

It's worse for them in the long run too. You're not doing them any favors. Be firm and direct that you don't think it's going to work out, and then cut contact. She'll probably try to contact you a few times and maybe stalk you on social media, but she'll likely give up pretty quickly and find someone new to cling to.

Post: #36

Cut her lose quick and honestly - though remember to have some tact.

Girls are resilient she'll recover and be on some other dick in no time don't get hung up on making her cry for a minute. Just don't be a dick head.

Post: #37

From Harry Browne's "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" (a must-read for the modern male).

Quote:It’s easy to be influenced by the apparent needs of others — your spouse, children, employer, employees, friends, parents, relatives. They may seem to be dependent upon you. What will happen to them if you put your own freedom first?

Let’s put your imagination to work one more time. This time take a few moments to imagine that you’re going to die tonight. Yes — die. Pretend that you’ll no longer be here to satisfy the needs of those who have been your responsibility.

After you think about it for a while, you’ll probably come to a depressing conclusion — somehow, some way, by some miracle, the world will survive without you.

Somehow your relatives will find someone else to borrow money from; the church will get someone else to arrange the flowers on the altar every Sunday; your friends will find new people to do favors for them. And your spouse may mourn for a suitable period — and then marry your best friend.

Your political crusades will succeed or fail — just as they would if you were around to help. Your club will find someone else to do its fund-raising. And those who’ve leaned so heavily upon you for advice and sympathy will find other shoulders (and probably follow the new advice as infrequently as they did yours).

I’m not saying you won’t be missed; that isn’t the point. The significance is that these people will find ways to survive without you. You’re not as indispensable to others as you may have believed.

If they can survive without you, why couldn’t you just disappear tonight without a trace, move a thousand miles away, and have a fresh start in an environment where no one knows you and depends upon you?

But why even do that? You don’t have to move away. If others can survive if you died or moved away, why can’t they survive without you while you stay here? Just remove yourself from the relationships and complications that don’t add to your well-being.

In many ways, you’ll be giving others their freedom, too. You might be surprised if you knew the discomforts others are suffering in their relationships with you. If a relationship is wrong for you, you can’t possibly give to it everything a willing person would. Why not get out of the way and let others find better situations, too?

Even if they seem content with you, it may be that they, too, are afraid to speak up.

You can’t know what’s best for everyone else. Let nature take its course; let each person find his own place in the world — in accordance with his identity, his resources, and his desires.

You can’t see inside of someone else. You can’t decide what’s good or bad for others. You can only decide for yourself.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #38

Is there a way? I very much doubt it.

It's a white knight-esque belief to try and minimise their pain like she's some special snowflake.

What about the mental effect on you for having to put up an act?

In these situations I usually tell them once, succinctly in under a minute how I feel, then completely ghost. Any less (or more) than that will mean they don't get full closure and will want to keep hitting you up to know exactly why you two can't work out.

Post: #39

Behave "awkward", melancholy and "shy" so that she looses interest in you. When talking to her talk slowly and take frequent breaks to look sadly down or at the distance. Putting off American girls is not difficult.

Post: #40

Here is the best way:

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/l1tn6q/the...s-collared