Post: #1

I enjoyed reading this - purely on the level of being glad I'm not in a relationship this horrible.

http://apracticalwedding.com/2016/02/emo...men-wives/

Quote:My husband, bless him, is fantastic at a lot of things. We’ve split chores, childcare, pet care, everything, for years. We communicate well (and learned how to the hard way), he’s gainfully employed, he doesn’t have bad habits that gross me out or make me think he’s going to get killed. He holds my hand during Grey’s Anatomy and ended up super invested in Friday Night Lights, and for all of these things I appreciate him deeply. And yet.

Here’s how life went two months ago: on Monday, I would remind my husband about something we had going on for Friday. I would then remind him on Tuesday, on Wednesday, and on Thursday. Then, on Friday, about thirty minutes to an hour before we had to be there, he would inevitably, without fail, look up at me with wide eyes and a blank expression and ask what I was getting ready for, because weren’t we just hanging out at the house? Every. Single. Time.

You continually repeat patterns of behavior that aren't productive but blame him for your inability to change? Woman, write it on the damn calendar and mention it once.

Quote:There’s a lot of “worry work” that comes with being the calendar for your household, it’s what’s known as emotional labor. Recent feminist discussions have honed in on emotional labor and its impact on those who do it (and surprise: these people are mostly women), and I think for good reason. In our house, a lot of the emotional labor I have been doing involves our social lives, our son, and our house: keeping the calendar up to date, getting family gifts, making sure our son gets to doctors’ appointments, helping supervise our homeschool co-op once a week, getting groceries and running errands, and over-seeing homeschooling two to four days of the week. I’ve picked up a few new skills and tasks, all stuff that my husband was doing before he started working nights, sleeping during the day, and going to school.

The guy arranged his life to spend as little time as possible at home. Wonder why?

Quote:Two and a half months after this experiment began, we’re doing pretty well. There are still random times that my husband asks me, again, where or what is going on, where we’re headed, or what I said earlier in the day… and if I feel like I’ve sufficiently explained it or told him already, I’ll just smile and say, “Hey, I think you have it somewhere in there” (there being his head). Usually, he finds out he actually does. Sometimes he doesn’t, but that’s okay because we’re no longer locked in a passive-aggressive struggle.

Now you're no longer babying him and micromanaging his life, he's less likely to tune out everything you say?




Go and read the comments. These women are horrible, patting each other on the back for being miserable controlling bitches who despise their husbands for not caring enough about their bullshit.

This one, though...

Quote:Ugh, so THIS. My husband often forgets to brush his teeth, and it kills our sex life. When I am done brushing a 1-year-old's teeth, and persuading a 4-year-old to brush her teeth, I am JUST SO NOT UP FOR reminding a grown man to brush his teeth too. Nor am I up for sex. After so many discussions, and no real progress, I just don't know what to do here. He's pretty great in general-- wtf?

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #2

(03-01-2016 10:41 AM)Benoit Wrote:  My husband, bless him, is fantastic at a lot of things. We’ve split chores, childcare, pet care, everything, for years. We communicate well (and learned how to the hard way), he’s gainfully employed, he doesn’t have bad habits that gross me out or make me think he’s going to get killed. He holds my hand during Grey’s Anatomy and ended up super invested in Friday Night Lights, and for all of these things I appreciate him deeply. And yet.

Detective Miscbrah thinks a lot of the problems start there especially the bolded part

Thanks for that website though. I'll go there whenever I need a laugh.

Post: #3

Hilarious. Holding Hands while watching Grey's Anatomy? So happy I am not that guy....

BTW, it's the advertisements for the target audience I get a kick out of. On the right side of the screen, more encouragement to make that wedding great:

"10 TIPS FOR PLUS SIZE WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING
Practical advice without the body shaming"

Of course this is from the generation that planned more for weddings than for marriage......

Post: #4

Two losers sharing the fate of those who accept mediocrity.

Post: #5

The man sounds like a loser, he should be the one making the plans, not the idiot that forgets the plans his disappointed shrew wife made! I guarantee if she married younger, or lost some weight, or wasn't so unbearable, she could've snagged a better husband.

So she got this guy in order not to die alone (still wiser than many feminists), and now she thinks she can solve her problems with feminism? Feminism caused her problems in the first place!

If she had traditional values, she would've stayed in shape, learnt some charm and spent age 18-25 searching for an LTR with a successful man. A masculine man with good career prospects. Then, not only would she have a man who didn't forget plans, she'd also have a man who was capable of taking charge, who maintained his attractiveness with age, and who had enough contacts that he was capable of furthering her career along (before & after the kids). She can't get those men any more, they're already married. That's where "all the good men" went, to marry young women.

Why didn't she do this? Because she believed the lies of being "strong and independent", and like Esau, she sold her birthright for a mess or pottage.

Post: #6

Imagine this woman's husband getting on the site and saying, "My wife, bless her, is great at some things. There are always cookies and cakes and ice cream and chips and gummy bears and pies in the house. And yet.

She's the size of a house, doesn't cook healthy meals, is too lazy to do basic tasks around the house and gets really bossy about my free time."

Those chubby broads would lose their minds.

Post: #7

These women went into the relationship knowing all of this.

Why complain now?

Post: #8

(03-01-2016 10:41 AM)Benoit Wrote:  

Quote:Ugh, so THIS. My husband often forgets to brush his teeth, and it kills our sex life. When I am done brushing a 1-year-old's teeth, and persuading a 4-year-old to brush her teeth, I am JUST SO NOT UP FOR reminding a grown man to brush his teeth too. Nor am I up for sex. After so many discussions, and no real progress, I just don't know what to do here. He's pretty great in general-- wtf?

Two possibilities immediately came to thought:

1. He doesn't really want to have sex with her, so he's intentionally doing things that he knows will turn her off to having sex with him -- every human being alive with properly functioning senses knows when their breath is nasty, if they have body odor, etc.

2. He just doesn't really care to have sex, at all.

The first one requires some reflection on both of their parts, the second is on him. If it's the latter, well, if she can get another dick, then she should; doesn't mean she should leave the marriage, that's complicated, but if he's not servicing her, then she shouldn't obligated to be faithful in a sexless marriage.

Look, when relationships are shitty, then both people are contributing to that fact, it's never just one party's fault.

Post: #9

(03-01-2016 02:33 PM)jariel Wrote:  1. He doesn't really want to have sex with her, so he's intentionally doing things that he knows will turn her off to having sex with him -- every human being alive with properly functioning senses knows when their breath is nasty, if they have body odor, etc.

2. He just doesn't really care to have sex, at all.

The first one requires some reflection on both of their parts, the second is on him. If it's the latter, well, if she can get another dick, then she should; doesn't mean she should leave the marriage, that's complicated, but if he's not servicing her, then she shouldn't obligated to be faithful in a sexless marriage.

This is just a game she's playing. If he brushed his teeth regularly, it would be some other invisible rule that only comes into play because she wants to keep making excuses.

Post: #10

(03-01-2016 01:47 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  The man sounds like a loser, he should be the one making the plans, not the idiot that forgets the plans his disappointed shrew wife made! I guarantee if she married younger, or lost some weight, or wasn't so unbearable, she could've snagged a better husband.

So she got this guy in order not to die alone (still wiser than many feminists), and now she thinks she can solve her problems with feminism? Feminism caused her problems in the first place!

He's the portrait of a man suffering severe testosterone deficiency
She is slim but doesn't take good care of herself.
I don't hold out much hope for the child's career as a boxer.



http://www.stephaniekaloiphotography.com...road-trip/

Whose idea do you think his "I love my wife" t-shirt was? It's too close for me to call.

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #11

Wasn't there a study where men's brains are designed to not listen to women after a certain point? Something about tuning her out and acknowledge the surrounding environment.

I know for a fact I tune out when listening to women go on and on, even my mother.

Post: #12

Hades is right. It's never about what they say, it's about what they do.

Post: #13

Send the husband to AshleyMaddison.com...

Post: #14

Would brush teeth and bang.

Would not put up with her nagging and bullshit.

Post: #15

What a surprise, women are repulsed by men they have to babysit.

Post: #16

This is another one of those narcissistic wives who thinks she is the center of the universe. No one else matters more, only her happiness and gaining more attention. She needs a reality check.

Post: #17

I'm currently running an experiment with OKCupid in Beijing. I've been lining up dates every day for two weeks running now. Somehow I'm able to keep who I'm meeting and when. I'm pretty sure if this man actually had any interested in all the status-seeking activities she drags him to, he'd remember them.

Maybe instead of schedule his life without his permission, ask him how he actually wants to spend his time.

Modern women don't feel obligated to have sex with their husbands. Why should modern husbands feel obligated to join his asshole in-laws for dinner on Friday night?

Post: #18

(03-01-2016 03:27 PM)Hades Wrote:  This is just a game she's playing. If he brushed his teeth regularly, it would be some other invisible rule that only comes into play because she wants to keep making excuses.

Sure, people who are complainers will find things to complain about, there's no doubt about that.

However, I also understand that there are two people in a relationship.

It's not always just the woman's fault, it's not always just the man's fault.

Sometimes when people are complaining, they actually have something they feel is worth complaining about -- last thing I'd want anyone bringing to light is that I have a hygiene issue, that shit is just not cool, which is why I posited that it might be by design, women will do the same thing when they want to discourage a man from going after sex with them, it's just a weird, nasty side of human nature.

A lot of men here seem to have this thought process that all this shit that happens is just in a woman's head, and that somehow it's always the woman who is on the wrong side of the issue.

Men fuck up too.

Men are sometimes shitty husbands, boyfriends, etc.

Just because I'm here and I agree with a lot of the thought processes here doesn't mean every time that I'm an outsider to a situation involving a man and a woman, I'm automatically going to put the woman in the "wrong" category.

Shit just doesn't work like that, especially when you're not privy to all the facts; we could hear both sides of their stories, and both of them would leave shit out.

Post: #19

Poor guy has a prison sentence.

Post: #20

These modern day yuppy "equal partnership" marriages are pretty much same sex unions but with straight people, every bit as deviant and unnatural in my eyes.

Post: #21

(03-01-2016 04:18 PM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  Wasn't there a study where men's brains are designed to not listen to women after a certain point? Something about tuning her out and acknowledge the surrounding environment.

I know for a fact I tune out when listening to women go on and on, even my mother.

Yep there was, and I believe the study also found that women tune out as well when listening to other women. It seems that both women and men agree that women seldom have something smart to say.

This would explain why conversations between several women often sound chaotic. They enjoy interrupting each other and talking at the same time, but it sounds as if they don't actually pay attention to what the others are saying.

Post: #22

(03-02-2016 01:55 AM)jariel Wrote:  Just because I'm here and I agree with a lot of the thought processes here doesn't mean every time that I'm an outsider to a situation involving a man and a woman, I'm automatically going to put the woman in the "wrong" category.

Shit just doesn't work like that, especially when you're not privy to all the facts; we could hear both sides of their stories, and both of them would leave shit out.

Absolutely, but this woman married the guy and had a child with him. I doubt he's changed that much.

She's the one who decided that they needed to share the "emotional labour" after reading some typist's buzzword filled blog.

Not going to put all the blame on the woman, but I am going to say that if the feminist indoctrination hadn't got to both of them, they'd be happier in their relationship.

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #23

The great Bill Burr :

Standing Up, Not Sleeping Downstairs & Movie Rant

Post: #24

When a man abandons his family he's called a deadbeat.
When a woman abandons her family, it's called finding herself.

Post: #25

From the comments:

Quote:I'm in the very beginnings of wedding planing and I've had to be very direct with my fiance about his constant jokes around not wanting to be part of the planning. The most recent conversation went like this: Him: "oh boy, not another list to look at" Me: side-eye Him: "I'm joking, you know I'm joking" Me: No, you're not joking, your're bringing in a narrative into our relationship that is sexist and old and boring, and its not who you are and its disappointing". Continuous conversations are the key here but even then I find myself asking, would he ever read something about emotional labor online and think about it for a few days before coming to me to discuss? Its emotional labor to even have these conversations.

Egads.... But then two replies:

Quote:"No, you're not joking, your're bringing in a narrative into our relationship that is sexist and old and boring, and its not who you are and its disappointing"

Aaaand this phrase is wonderful and I'm committing it to memory.

"It's old and boring, it's not who you are and it's disappointing." So. Good.

Quote:This is perfection.

Enjoy your married life, suckers!