Post: #26

(01-29-2016 11:22 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  The problem here is that the phone DID belong to the mother...and he refused to give it back.

What if it was a car? Or a house? Or a precious diamond necklace? I know they are extreme examples but the point still holds.


What a shitty position for a father to find himself in, though.

Re: Bolded, that's not true: Paying a bill isn't proof of ownership. I could buy that car and you pay for the insurance but that doesn't make the car your possession when MY name is on the title document.

The issue I see is that the mom is bitter the man got custody and she used her police officer boyfriend to White Knight and fuck up that guys life(while putting his job at risk and wasting state resources in the process).

Post: #27

(01-29-2016 06:18 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  That's it. If I can't parent my kids they way I see fit here in the US, I'm not having kids within the US. Fuck this shit.

I know he got acquitted, but he should have never been arrested, nor even visited by the police, in the first place.

I used to think the good thing about being a married parent is you got to control how your kids were raised. Seems like they were not married in this case. But reminds me of this case about Donald Bren (in the sense that kids were being assholes to the father.)

DOnald Bren is worth billions and gave millions to his kids born out of wedlock, but it wasn't enough. Luckily the shit kids didn't win.

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/bren-...court.html

Quote:The Bren children live with their mother in Los Angeles. They are seeking retroactive child support of $400,000 a month each between August 1988 and December 2002.

During that period, Bren paid the two a combined total of $3 million in child support, his lawyers say.

In all, Bren has paid more than $9 million to Christie and David Bren – the additional $6 million-plus resulting from a separate case Bren filed in 2003 to determine what, if any, back child support he should pay.

Post: #28

(01-29-2016 09:59 PM)Goldin Boy Wrote:  

(01-29-2016 11:22 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  The problem here is that the phone DID belong to the mother...and he refused to give it back.

What if it was a car? Or a house? Or a precious diamond necklace? I know they are extreme examples but the point still holds.


What a shitty position for a father to find himself in, though.

Re: Bolded, that's not true: Paying a bill isn't proof of ownership. I could buy that car and you pay for the insurance but that doesn't make the car your possession when MY name is on the title document.

What 12 year old kid can afford an iPhone 4?

Post: #29

What a waste of everyone's time.

Post: #30

Post: #31

Hystrical woman tries to berate husband with a power play. Any rational society wouldn't even give this case the time of day.

Post: #32

Was in a situation very similar to this. My advice for anyone in a similar scenario would be to pick your battles and try to work with your ex for the sake of coparenting the kids. If your ex is a psycho, focus on making your time with the kid quality time. As the kids get older, your power shifts from absolute control to mere influence. Sure, you can be a hardo and kick them out if they don't follow your rules, but where does that get everyone? More time for the kid with a psycho mother.

A major shift comes when they're old enough to begin thinking and acting like adults, maybe 15 or 16 depending on their emotional maturity. Then "Because I said so" carries little weight and only breeds resentment. You have to up your parenting game to more subtle forms of influence. It's very difficult, but I've found better results treating them more like a peer than a subordinate, when the situation allows.

In this situation specifically, you and the ex agree to a phone contract that the kid signs. Password given to both parents, they can look thru the phone at any time, no texting during school hours or late on school nights, etc. You find something offensive on the phone, ask the kid "Would you say this about that person to their face?" or "How would you feel if these pictures were all over the internet?" Tell them you think they're better than that or you feel disappointed in them and hope they will do better. Sounds weak, I know. But if you only lay down the law and say my way or the highway, eventually you get to the last 2 lines of my first paragraph above.