Post: #26

(01-05-2016 01:03 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I don't think losing your temper with a girl is ever a "good idea." I've done it a few times in my life and it has never helped anything aside from personally allowing me to vent and let out some pent up stress and aggression.

Thats all losing your cool is. Its a selfish moment, not a conscious and calculated effort to assert your frame. It's blowing up because you were pushed over the edge.

The worst you can do to a woman is leave her. If you blow up at her, or even beat her up physically, but still stick around then she knows thats the worst you can do and she has control because you won't walk out. It tells her she can get away with shit. the worst she has to worry about when doing something shitty is you yelling and screaming a bit or taking a blow or two, getting shoved against a wall whatever. It will pass and you won't abandon her for her transgressions.

If a girl does something you don't like then let her know sternly that you won't stand for that. If she continues to do then leave because she won't comply. If she does something inexcusable then leave her on the spot. There are always other girls.

Addendum: One time when I lost my cool with a girl I was dating a few years ago and we got into a screaming match, she told me after the fight was over that she thought I was really sexy when shouting at her. That's probably the only positive thing that ever came from me losing my temper with a female.

Post: #27

It's a good idea when you want to show her that you're capable of getting mad, angry or violent. That's it. She just has to know that this force is inside you at your disposal. Doing it rarely conveys that you're in control of yourself but the danger of releasing that energy is always there. I lose my temper from time to time when I have good reason and it hasn't hurt me yet.

It's like with high school bullying etc. Which boys get beat up the most? The ones who are never willing to fight. They give others perfect excuse to bully them cause they won't strike back. That unwillingness to assert themselves is the reason why others see them as preys and take advantage of that.

The same dynamic is with women. Guys who are always calm, always polite, always leave/escape when it's time to assert boundaries, never raise their voice, never swear, are afraid to shake their woman in appropriate circumstances, etc get walked over usually. I'm not encouraging anyone to assault women by any means of course. I'm just saying that it's OK to give her a glimpse of what you're capable of when shit gets out of control.

Post: #28

I used to believe in the game mantra "You are an oak tree. She's the wind. Keep frame at all times".

But holding in anger when you have every right to be angry is violence on yourself. Think about how you feel when you really want to blow up and just keep it in. There is real physical pain involved which you feel in your gut and chest. Got no interest in putting myself through that so i can keep frame and be "Alpha".

It is very possible to lose your temper and still hold frame. The trick is to follow up with some firm punishment immediately afterwards. This is absolutely imperative. If you don't ... you'll lose frame and respect.

Let's assume you're in the car with your girl on a long drive and she's been taking little jabs at you for hours now. You kept your cool and tried to play it off. The bitch decides to up the ante and brings up some shit from your past she knows will have you exploding. Worst part is, the way she brings it up is under the veil of caring for you.

You got exactly 2 seconds to decide your course of action.

Option 1: You'll be an Oak tree and firmly assert that if she pulls that shit again, there will be consequences. This seems to be the preferred course of action for many of you. Despite sizzling on the inside, you try to fake composure and be the man. It doesn't work like that because bitches are very perceptive of body language. They'll interpret your "Alpha keeping frame" shtick as ... "Oh he's afraid to get angry at me. I wonder what else can i get away with?"

Option 2 (My favorite): Flip the fuck out. Stay true to your self and your feelings and let that bitch know who's boss. BUT ... don't just talk. If all you're doing is banging on the dashboard, going on a rant and calling her a bitch then she wins. You're pretty much a toothless dog. She now sees you as someone she can easily manipulate to anger whenever she feels like having drama for breakfast. With no consequences.

Instead, by all means lose your temper. But make her handsomely pay for it. Ask to borrow her phone and throw it out the window (I've done that before). When she protests ... silent treatment. Don't say anything, keep driving and beat those bitches at their own game. Or take the next exit, park the car and tell her to get the fuck out. If she refuses ... stay parked, open the window, light a smoke & hit her with the silent treatment until she breaks out in tears and apologizes.

Whatever happens, don't wait to administer your punishment. Disrespect has to be dealt with swiftly and harshly. If you wait for a day or even a couple of hours, she will see your delayed punishment as "OMG can't he get over things? I didn't mean anything by it. He's being petty and vengeful. This was like a long time ago".

A big percentage of respect is a healthy dose of fear. She's got be terrified of crossing your lines.

Post: #29

(01-06-2016 12:03 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  But holding in anger when you have every right to be angry is violence on yourself.

Amen, brother.

Post: #30

Don't get angry {lack of self control on a foolish child}, but Show Anger {Know what intensity is needed to set someone right}.. Easier said than done.

Post: #31

I don't if it helps, but it definitely doesn't hurt.

Post: #32

Also, there is a lot of emphasis in this community saying that a real man should always stay cool calm unreactive distant aloof etc no matter what happens because that's sooo manly and masculine. I call bullshit on that.

Getting angry at times is much better and simply more natural. I hate those passive fags who don't want to even raise their voice and stand up to someone who is tooling them just for the sake of staying cool. It looks weak and gives other person too much green light.

And no, it's not that attractive to women either. They say that cause it's in their interest to keep their man's emotions in check. They fear it. However often times the same fear when used well makes them wet. Proven and tested

Post: #33

Man this thread is full of wins, esp. AtDs comment about the pain you actually feel by bottling it in. Lots to discuss:

The term respect is interesting b/c it's been co-opted to mean whatever someone trying to manipulate you wants it to mean, just like how people define "being a man" in a way that serves their purposes. But, as pointed out here, respect is duly related to fear. Respect isn't only fear, but all respect has an element of fear to it. And what do respect, fear, and attraction all have in common? They're not choices. You don't choose your fears. Sure you can act in spite of them, but the fear is there. The relating of respect to fear has been long lost on people.


XXL's point about it looking weak when you don't react is spot on. This sort of goofy idiot, verbal punching bag guy being seen as endearing is only in movies. It's not real. You need to get angry sometimes. However, the difference between getting angry and throwing a fit is consequences. So make sure there are consequences, otherwise it's an idle threat. Your feet were made for walking, so use them from time to time.

Post: #34

When the future of a child's life is involved.

What really works when a solipsistic cunt is about to fuck your life up and take your kid away + 18 yrs of child support, etc.. go from total laughter, to brief but intense crying, to unbelievable rage all in the same 60 sec.

Convince them you're losing your mind and that anything could happen. That usually scares a bitch straight for a while.

Any girl that sends me to the brink, needs to hit the bricks. So it doesn't really matter who breaks up, or who divorces who first.

But the usual dumb robot with a syntax error routine women play, isn't worth 10bpm increase in heart rate.

I basically doused rage against women by considering everything involving women a scientific social experiment. There's no bad results, just results. Move on and adjust your methods if the next one shows similar traits.

I just lose my temper when I'm bangin.. seems to work best,

Post: #35

When she genuinely does something disrespectful and I become fed up. I will say, every time I've shown anger at a woman, she usually became more attracted to me (I'm not really sure how the psyche behind that works, perhaps it shows that you might get rid of her at any moment and it makes her feel obligated to court you).

Post: #36

Just because you get mad every now and then, it doesn't mean you aren't the oak tree. If a woman runs face first into an oak tree, she's going to get a headache, and that is her choice. It doesn't reflect negatively on you.

Post: #37

Women practice death by a 1000 cuts. Men should practice deterrent by howitzer. One show of seriousness should keep that shit in check for quite some time.

Personally, I think a controlled, narrowed eyed tone carries a ton more weight than going hulk rage veins. It conveys a conviction which can be bone chilling.

Anabasis is spot on consequences are key.

Even better if its all action and minimal talk. Once this chick I was dating was purposefully being a bitch and it got worse as the night went on. In the cab I hit my breaking point so I asked the cabbie to pull over and calmly looked at her and said "enjoy your trip". She was texting non stop 15 minutes later.

Best method to convey a message is to freeze them out.

Post: #38

What the fuck would you guys do in this situation?

Start at the 3:40 mark.

Post: #39

There's too many bitches out there to get mad at one to the point you could catch a charge. However if you could get mad at one type, black girls tend to be the most understanding if this makes sense. A lot of them get under my skin from time and its not something I am proud of. I don't hit them or any crazy shit I just have to raise my voice from time to time to shut down that additude. I need to learn to be calmer though.

Post: #40

What do you mean exactly by losing your temper?

Just a few days ago I met with a girl I previously banged for a movie/dinner/and banging afterwards.

She failed to tell me that she had to return to her parents after the movie and left no time for banging. I became visibly annoyed as I walked her to the station to go home. She had never lied to me before so I took her word to be true, but I explained if I meet you I expect you to not have made other plans.

It was a clear flip from my playful teasing attitude into a more quiet broody one. I never raised my voice or acted butt-hurt, but showed my displeasure and she quite readily offered up plans to meet me the next day after dinner with her family to spend the night with me.

Do you mean something like that? Or are you talking about snapping and yelling at a chick for being stupid? For me, even a change in attitude like that was seen as losing my temper, since she specifically asked me if I had gotten angry.

Post: #41

(01-10-2016 07:57 AM)LA Savage Wrote:  What the fuck would you guys do in this situation?

Start at the 3:40 mark.

Kick em all out and move on with my life. Bang her best friend. Saved you any time you would have wasted on her otherwise.

Post: #42

A man never loses his temper. That's for small kids and crazy women.

Post: #43

If it were tool-throwing panel-kicking rage like working on cars in the garage can bring on, then no I wouldn't think that could possibly do any good for frame/game. But real maculine controlled anger...Sometimes a kitten needs to be reminded it's hissing at a lion.

Post: #44

My understanding is that the ultimate state to strive for is to maintain a smooth & level composure, regardless of situation. Of course, achieving this perfectly does not exist. Shit happens.

Post: #45

Yeah I never got the whole "never show any kind of emotion EVER, ALWAYS be aloof" routine. Some people just go waaaaay too far in their whole alpha/super player thinking and slide off into autism territory.

You obviously shouldn't have a hair trigger because that is just laughable if you can be manipulated into rage by every little thing. And I get where this whole "brush it off stoically" idea comes from, we've obviously probably sometime saw a dude blowing up because of some petty thing but also another dude who seems completely unmoved and uninterested in petty little side comments. That can work out when these side comments are rare. But when they are constant and start becoming a pattern of a woman thinking she can just disrespect you if that disrespect comes in small enough doses, you need to check her.

Showing anger is a powerful display, it shows that you actually have the maturity of a full range of emotions. It shows that yes indeed, you have boundaries and when they are crossed there will be a reaction and consequences from you. It shows that you'd not afraid of leaving her and maybe some scorched earth behind you if she doesn't behave and it also shows that being in a relationship with you is carte blanche to relax and stop trying. It's also a good tactic to get MORE pissed at her if she starts to do some faux indignation routine. They instinctively understand that if you are actually angry and she is doing some fake anger then it's in her best interest to stop that bullshit and try to appease you.

That said, how you show that anger is important. Blowing up going HULK HOGAN is sometimes warranted, but should probably be reserved for extreme cases. Being completely quiet and silent often times just comes off as pissy and prissy. Remaining sorta calm but saying some terse things in a seething, measured tone is usually the best.

Post: #46

I think we have a new addition to "Funniest Forum Members Usernames"...

Post: #47

The trick is unpredictability, don't let her be able to goad you into anger easily but have her living with a little fear that you could lose your patience with bullshit and kick her out if she acts up.


Scare her a little maybe that sort of things turns them on and shows you're not dependent on her or a pussy. When she apologizes accept it casually and move on. Don't apologize for being angry.

Kind of like training a dog, there needs to be consequences for pissing on the carpet.

Post: #48

Angry != losing temper. Of course you can be angry, the dog training is the right metaphor. But you don't yell and scream at a dumb puppy.

Post: #49

Anyone dealth with girls with personality disorder? How’d you deal with losing your temper?

Post: #50

This is an area where you have to play to how physically imposing you are.

If you have a strong physical presence and a powerful voice, then by all means bring the thunder. Show her just how terrible you can be. This should be a rare event that does not happen very often, if at all. The whole point is to show her just how close you can get to violence when she crosses a line.

If you are not that intimidating (meaning other men don't find you intimidating) then you would be best served with a little emotional torture. Cut her off, make her apoligize. Show her that when she fucks up bad, she quits mattering to you. Just pure, icy coldness. Women hate nothing more than to think that they are meaningless.