Post: #51

(06-01-2017 11:06 AM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  

(06-01-2017 09:28 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  What kind of moronic woman would have a man's kids without his signed commitment to her. She'd have to be so dumb you wouldn't want your kids carrying half of her genes regardless.

Why can't the man just say, "Look babe, I love you so much, I would never want to leave you. That's why today I'm willing to take the step of triple-dog pinkie-swearing, in front of all our Facebook friends, that I'll stay with you forever and raise our kids together with you. Why do you need it in writing? What, don't you trust me??!! What kind of foundation does this relationship have, if you think I might betray you?"

That's the way women react when men say, "Hon, can you sign this prenuptial agreement?" They pout and say, "Why do we need that, when this marriage is till death do us part?"

Kind of ridiculous that marriage (a contract that says, "If you betray me, or if I betray you, I get to financially rape you") is considered more romantic than prenuptial agreements (a contract that says, "If you betray me, you don't get to financially rape me"). It's all just propaganda.

It's not propaganda. It's women negotiating from a position of strength, namely, emotional manipulation.

Post: #52

(06-09-2017 12:03 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  

(06-01-2017 09:28 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  There's an argument to be made, but as soon as kids are in the picture then it disappears. At best you get to keep your stuff but you're still on the hook for child support.

And in a lot of nations now if you've cohabited for a couple of years you're liable to be considered de-facto partners.

Frankly I just don't know that any of the anti-marriage brigade have ever had a serious long term relationship.

What kind of moronic woman would have a man's kids without his signed commitment to her. She'd have to be so dumb you wouldn't want your kids carrying half of her genes regardless.

tl;dr - I don't want/enjoy like the extended company of a woman, but would be willing to commit to pay (in one way or another) for one to be the mother of my children.

Leonard - I hear you on your argument. A respectable woman needs a commitment to willingly grow my kid in her stomach. However, do you think there any alternative forms of commitment aside from a romantic relationship, maybe financial or otherwise, that can allow me to be a loving father without committing emotionally?

I'm 30 and in the process closing on my first home. I've been in the game now for almost 6 years following a pretty miserable breakup in my mid-20s, and still have very little interest in settling down. At the end of the day, all I truly want from a woman is children and an amicable, positive parenting situation.

I like being generous and kind to the women I date, it's in my nature. I like treating them to a nice meal or fun day trip, banging them out, and then sending them on their way with a smile. I know myself well enough to admit I have a deeply ingrained provider instinct combined with low self-esteem that makes me extremely susceptible to manipulation once I "let a girl in." My mind associates love with doing anything and everything to make my woman happy, even when I know its not warranted or I don't even want to. I feel horribly guilty about saying no, or even taking my fair share. Needless to say, I receive very little benefit committing to a relationship and become resentful very quickly. I've learned to keep my emotions out of the equation, keep things casual, and this works for me.

I've worked hard to break this habit for years by reading psych books and going to therapy, but I'm nowhere near where I need to be mentally to maintain a serious relationship (not that I even really want one). I know it will end badly for me - still, I don't want this to prevent me from being a father.

I've thought about volunteering with youth sports in the short-term and maybe even adopting on my own in a few years, although I'd love if the kid/kids was/were from my DNA. Maybe these emotional issues make me unfit to be a father at all?

Would love to hear some opinions.

You are making the rational response to the cultural shift brought on by no fault divorce and women's empowerment, not to mention the pill, facebook, etc.

Do you date Asian / Indian girls at all? Strong shaming mechanisms in those community about divorce, both cultures are open, even encouraging of interracial intermarriage.

Also, don't adopt. Box of chocolates and all.

Post: #53

(06-14-2017 08:20 PM)Lunostrelki Wrote:  All the laws can favor her, but if she feels the guy she's with is a real man--that is, in charge and competent, she will follow him to the end.

LOL. Experienced this yourself, have you? Or imagined it that way?

Here's what i've learned in a long life:

Women are wired a certain way. Some of it has to do with their genes (they've actually identified a divorce gene, i.e., a gene that makes women hypergamous). Some of it has to do with what was modeled for them as a child, both in their culture but mostly in their own home. You can't ever predict what's gonna drive a certain women - you think you can, but you cannot. Women are more unpredictable than the oceans, than the weather. Your game, being "in charge and competent", will certainly help. But it's only one factor of many - and not the driving one. A women's internal wiring will determine what she does. And you can't influence it one bit!

Post: #54

(06-14-2017 09:54 PM)The Father Wrote:  

(06-14-2017 08:20 PM)Lunostrelki Wrote:  All the laws can favor her, but if she feels the guy she's with is a real man--that is, in charge and competent, she will follow him to the end.

LOL. Experienced this yourself, have you? Or imagined it that way?

Here's what i've learned in a long life:

Women are wired a certain way. Some of it has to do with their genes (they've actually identified a divorce gene, i.e., a gene that makes women hypergamous). Some of it has to do with what was modeled for them as a child, both in their culture but mostly in their own home. You can't ever predict what's gonna drive a certain women - you think you can, but you cannot. Women are more unpredictable than the oceans, than the weather. Your game, being "in charge and competent", will certainly help. But it's only one factor of many - and not the driving one. A women's internal wiring will determine what she does. And you can't influence it one bit!

The woman I'm married to, the woman I'm the son of, and many of the women I know in my daily life function as I described above without major problems. If there is a "divorce gene" it's triggered by a low-grade social culture (forgot to mention this earlier) or by virtue of the man having not picked a compatible woman based on his and her individual circumstances.