Post: #1

Hello, guys. I've been a lurker on this forum for about two years, and decided it was time to join (I joined a few months back but totally forgot about it until I was researching something on here again).

In this post I want to share my current situation in life and get some general advice about everything from girls to money.

I'm eighteen years old, 6'2" white man with blonde hair and blue eyes weighing 230 lb.

I was pretty isolated my whole life, being homeschooled with no friends in my area. I did well in high school, graduating with a 3.92 GPA. Fall of this year, I attended a large Southern state school to study Information Technology, and expectations were pretty high for me. I ended up getting swept up in the party scene pretty early, joined a fraternity, got blackballed, and spent the rest of the semester getting stoned, drunk and abusing opiates every day totally ignoring my studies. I bullshitted depression symptoms to the school health center and got put on Zoloft. I left school with a 0.0 gpa for Christmas break back to my strict parents house, struggling hard with Zoloft, nicotine, and Vicodin withdrawal. A few days after I got back I got a letter saying I was suspended. Can't say I was too devastated by it. I never really even wanted to go to college in the first place. A few days later, I landed a construction job with my old Youth Pastor making 10 dollars an hour working full time. That job starts the first week in January.

As for my love life... I lost my virginity in college. It was a pretty weird story actually. It was late at night, and I was having a cigarette outside my dorm room when a drunk chick (6.5) stumbled up to me and asked to bum one. We ended up smoking the rest of the pack and she asked if I could take her up to my room. she laid down on my bed and things went from there, until my roommate walked in on us. Second girl I banged I met at a tailgate party (5.5). I banged her three times. Also, since I was in college, I've made out with 4 girls other than the ones I banged, one was my highschool girlfriend who I met online (6), one was a chick I rode to a concert with (6.5), one was a landwhale at a house party (3.5), and the other one was my pledge brother's date at a fraternity function (8). Because of my social isolation during most of my teen years, people say I sometimes have a serial killer vibe which works out in my favor on some girls. In fact, I was able to use one of Roosh's "I left my axe at home" lines on two girls. Anyway, it seems like I have little issue attracting average looking girls (6.5 and under), but I really only want to focus on 7's and above. I feel like shit whenever I have romantic contact with girls that aren't up to my personal standards.

Some info on my personal situation: I haven't had sex in several months, and really don't have that much of a desire to go on the hunt again. I'm more interested in pursuing my personal self-improvement and becoming independent of my parents. Right now I'm living at home, and my parents are charging me rent. I don't have a car, but I really want to get one ASAP (since I live in the South, work construction, and like off-roading, I want a used pickup). I feel like shit physically since I'm still in withdrawal and my parents don't let me smoke. I'm also a bit overweight, but dealing with that is not my first priority right now.

Basically, I really just want your guys' advice on how to move forward with my life. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer.

Post: #2

I think your should make getting in shape a priority. Your mind and your body will feel better. Not just that, but you'll feel better about yourself.

Your not the first person who went to college, who came from a strict background, and failed out after the first semester. There were plenty of guys at my school who suffered the same fate. Keep your head up, you have a long life ahead of you.

Post: #3

In addition to getting in shape (join the closest gym to your place), I'd try to work the hell out of that construction job. Show up early; stay late; chat with the foreman or whoever is in charge; be totally willing to do odd jobs, work extra shifts, etc. It's not just about the money - the opportunities to learn about the field, see if you want to stay in it, and make contacts and build trust are key. Socialize with your coworkers but be very careful about partying with them; you can get a bad rep being associated with the wrong coworkers, or worse yet getting busted, or showing up late hung over.

Post: #4

Physical activity of any sort will do you the world of good.
Get things out you're system.

If you can't afford a gym.
Be very active at work. Lots of opportunity in construction for that.

Further than that, don't be down on yourself.
I believe your isolated upbringing brought about your leanings towards extreme substance abuse.

Also get off the Zoloft, stay off the Zoloft.

I can only wish you well.

Post: #5

(12-26-2015 12:52 PM)1026 Wrote:  Further than that, don't be down on yourself.

Double this. You are so young with so much potential and opportunity - do good work for the people you need to do good work for, and to quote Don Draper "it will shock you how much the past doesn't matter." When you get down, and start thinking of mistakes/missteps, replace the thought with a pattern of "what's the most important thing I need to get done now to take the next step forward?" That might get going to bed so you can get up for work; going to the gym; setting up direct deposit so you can auto-save your wages; chatting up the boss after work; whatever it is, always have a good idea what the next move is going to be.

Quote:I believe your isolated upbringing brought about your leanings towards extreme substance abuse.

Can't speak to this but it's worth emphasizing that party cultures reinforce by cool-factor and bullying. If you want to get on the right track, it's important to recognize that people will try to get you to party by resorting to shame and social pressure, like "don't be such a square, man." They are
I'm not saying you have to go into a 12-step program, just understand that chosen forms of recreation can calm your mind or add to your problems.

Post: #6

I went through a very very similar phase that you're experiencing at 19-20 years old, so the fact that you are seeking out help towards your self-improvement at 18 is a success in itself.

If I was to give any tips to a younger self at 18 (I'm now 23) it would be:

1. Get your finances in order (spend within your means, cook your own meals, be on the lookout for money-making opportunities). Lots of money isn't going to make you happy, but struggling to pay your week to week bills can be incredibly stressful. Don't say no to extra work hours while you're young - money is freedom. Be thrifty with the purchases you do make however, don't be above shopping at Goodwill etc

2. Get in shape (hit the gym, track macros, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables). Lose the excess belly fat and then slowly try and add muscle. Get in the gym at least 3 times a week with a program you enjoy. Make the gym fun - the real success is getting in there in the first place. Once you make it a habit you can fiddle around with complex routines

3. Sort out your living arrangement. Most of the self-development I made personally was when I was living away from my parents (they had very toxic personalities). If your parents are chill though and rent is cheap then there is no real reason to leave. If you can afford it - moving into a houseshare situation has a lot of benefits from an independence standpoint (just make sure you choose housemates wisely)

4. Pick a constructive hobby. Besides gym. Writing, sport, reading - all great hobbies. Everyone has something they love to do

5. Girls. It might be the best or worst thing to ever happen to me when I found out I could go to a bar... meet a girl... and take her home within an hour. Game is a very consuming hobby. There's no shame in dry-spells - even for a seasoned player... it's perfectly fine to take some time off. Actively pursuing women outside your social circle shouldn't take priority over the first four points I've made. Tinder is a very low-cost way to meet girls - you should be honing-in your Tinder pictures and go from there (particularly at 18)

___________________________________________________

Hope I've helped a little. Keep us posted on your progress mate

Post: #7

Pick-up truck, mudding, off-roading, construction.....

Sounds like the life I left behind 10 years ago. You're focus should be getting the fuck out of the south before construction becomes your full time job after you knock up a fat southern-princess who drinks more bud light than you do.

There's a big world out there bro. Pack your bags, drive west, find a community college in a college town that has a public transit system and get you a job serving coffee or something. Enjoy the college life. Go experience spring break with the other kids your age. Stay off the Vicodin.

Post: #8

(12-27-2015 12:35 AM)Prof. Ligate Wrote:  I went through a very very similar phase that you're experiencing at 19-20 years old, so the fact that you are seeking out help towards your self-improvement at 18 is a success in itself.

If I was to give any tips to a younger self at 18 (I'm now 23) it would be:

1. Get your finances in order (spend within your means, cook your own meals, be on the lookout for money-making opportunities). Lots of money isn't going to make you happy, but struggling to pay your week to week bills can be incredibly stressful. Don't say no to extra work hours while you're young - money is freedom. Be thrifty with the purchases you do make however, don't be above shopping at Goodwill etc

2. Get in shape (hit the gym, track macros, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables). Lose the excess belly fat and then slowly try and add muscle. Get in the gym at least 3 times a week with a program you enjoy. Make the gym fun - the real success is getting in there in the first place. Once you make it a habit you can fiddle around with complex routines

3. Sort out your living arrangement. Most of the self-development I made personally was when I was living away from my parents (they had very toxic personalities). If your parents are chill though and rent is cheap then there is no real reason to leave. If you can afford it - moving into a houseshare situation has a lot of benefits from an independence standpoint (just make sure you choose housemates wisely)

4. Pick a constructive hobby. Besides gym. Writing, sport, reading - all great hobbies. Everyone has something they love to do

5. Girls. It might be the best or worst thing to ever happen to me when I found out I could go to a bar... meet a girl... and take her home within an hour. Game is a very consuming hobby. There's no shame in dry-spells - even for a seasoned player... it's perfectly fine to take some time off. Actively pursuing women outside your social circle shouldn't take priority over the first four points I've made. Tinder is a very low-cost way to meet girls - you should be honing-in your Tinder pictures and go from there (particularly at 18)

___________________________________________________

Hope I've helped a little. Keep us posted on your progress mate

It would be easy to pass this off as a short post based on run-of-the-mill advice, but there are some real wisdom nuggets in there that you only gain from experience. Repped.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #9

You have a triple whammy of great advice here from LINUX, BB, and Prof. Ligate.

One of the things that I started doing in my 30s that I wish I had done 10 years earlier is ask "what will my life be like if i stay here, say at this job, this school, these people etc." Look around you. Who do you see 10, 20, 30 years older than you whose life you like. Or wish to emulate some part. I also went to school in the south and it was one of the biggest wasted times in my life. There is a lot I admire about the south but the promises and lies told to keep people there don't have to keep you there. You have a mini trend going of being overweight and not liking your life and not getting laid. Now that doesn't have to continue down this path its up to you. If it does you could be bigger, laid less often and also have the added misery of a terrible wife who doesn't let you fuck her often. I'm sure your parents have many good qualities but its ok if you want to ask yourself if you want a repeat of their lives or your own. You are being nudged down a path with this job etc.

You are not stuck there but I bet you can find some guys just a few years older who are very much stick there. You don't need a car to get out of dodge, a train or bus or plane will do too.

Bla southern town usa still presents life as the false dichotomy between good boy sunday school and raging lunatic drunken bohemia. In my opinion and life experience both of these are false and equally empty. its up to you to find an alternative to these if you want.

Post: #10

I would get the fuck back in school ASAP. You obviously have what it takes, you just need to apply yourself. I was fortunate to be some what isolated as a teen living in the country ( it has given me a lot of time to read and be introspective) and made me realize that your age ain't shit. What I mean by that is your never too young to learn or accomplish something and you can be in your 30's, 40's and even 50's fucking broads if you put the time and the effort in. Meanwhile, while your young just be proactive about having a successful career and networking. This way by the time your 30, you will have all these connections and capital you need to make good money and find a job anywhere.so bust your ass while your young so when you get older you will have more options and be happier.