(06-29-2011 10:39 PM)youngmobileglobal Wrote: I didn't necessarily get pissed off because anybody is disagreeing with me. That's happened before elsewhere on this forum and I often get value from that. I asked specifically if anyone had a diplomatic solution that didn't entail escalating the situation and for the most part those were the exact responses I got.
The problem here is that diplomatic solutions are only possible between equals. In your case it looks like he believes he has advantage over you, and can do whatever he wants while your only option would be to accept it. There is no diplomatic solution possible in this kind of situation until you balance the scale by showing him you would stand your ground.
Basically the way you presented it the situation looks like he has 100% control over it - he comes to you and bitches about it, and you accept. Then he comes and apologizes, and you accept. Now I don't care about all that alpha/beta bullshit, but such behavior won't earn you any respect from him
or anyone else around who witnessed it. If you let other people disrespect you without consequences, after a while nobody will respect you.
Now if you want to address the violence issue, you can say something like that: dude, you want to fight me? What for? It would only make things worse for you. Even if you kick my ass, you will lose my respect because people who resort to violence to resolve disagreements are kind of people with a strong body but weak mind. It work between monkeys because they have no brain, but we're not monkeys, we live in society which has rules and it punishes those who break them. So, you gonna lose my respect, and once the word gets out, you will lose the respect of other people around as well. Not to mention you'd have a good chance to spend some time in Thai prison and will get kicked out of the country.
It may also be worth discussing the situation with your sensei since it affects your training. They are usually very sensitive toward possible violence between the students outside the training area, as it never brings anything good to the training camp.