Post: #101

(07-11-2016 04:25 PM)donn Wrote:  What is the purpose of no contacting at all? I ended a relationship of almost 10 years, this person is like a family for me.

The purpose is so you don't end up back in the perpetual cycle of getting back together and breaking up over and over again. You broke up for a reason and it's probably because she didn't add value. Why would you want to keep someone in your life if they don't add vakhe?

Post: #102

Man she just wants more dick and is messaging you to get any type of reaction that will get her foot in the door. Is there a way to turn this around and keep her around to bang when you need it?

Post: #103

(07-09-2016 11:15 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(06-03-2016 12:40 PM)DrCotard Wrote:  Starting this year, I soft-nexted a girl who friendzoned me years ago. Well, she friendzoned me because I was a guy who behaved like a beta bitch without game and she lost interest when I didn't push for the bang.

Surprisingly, she's writing me e-mails asking me "When are we going to see each other?". I don't know whether to respond her e-mails with a dick pic (not of my junk obviously) or don't write her at all.

Update: she made me a call yesterday and I didn't answer the phone. Feels good to avoid contact with a girl like her.

Update 2: she finally understood that I nexted her. It's quite liberating to know that I definitely got rid of a girl who wasn't worth the hassle. Anabasis, if you're reading this thread, I want to congratulate you for this thread.

Post: #104

Ex reached out to me last night after not seeing/speaking for two months, she basically just stated her reasons for the breakup and said at the end that she "wished me well".

I think Bill Burr does a bit on this where he talks about women just have a super power in a way in that they know when you're getting over them and they know when to hit you up and inject themselves back into your life basically just to fuck with you.

I've been seeing a new girl who I like, but just seeing this ex's # pop up in my phone, regardless of what she said, has put me mentally right back to where I was during the initial breakup. I thought prior to yesterday that I was basically over her. It's taking all my willpower to not respond but it's still messing with my head more than I like to admit.

Thanks for reading guys.

Post: #105

My ex also reached out a few days back asking how I am doing. I swear woman sense the end of summer and it drives them nuts knowing you have other girls. I didn't reply and I encourage all guys never to give your ex a 2nd chance. It never works and the same issues keep reoccurring. Find a new girl who values you and won't break up with you the first time. I heard my ex is on tinder now....have fun with that...

Post: #106

(08-16-2016 10:04 AM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  Ex reached out to me last night after not seeing/speaking for two months, she basically just stated her reasons for the breakup and said at the end that she "wished me well".

I think Bill Burr does a bit on this where he talks about women just have a super power in a way in that they know when you're getting over them and they know when to hit you up and inject themselves back into your life basically just to fuck with you.

I've been seeing a new girl who I like, but just seeing this ex's # pop up in my phone, regardless of what she said, has put me mentally right back to where I was during the initial breakup. I thought prior to yesterday that I was basically over her. It's taking all my willpower to not respond but it's still messing with my head more than I like to admit.

Thanks for reading guys.

As part of cutting them out of my life completely and utterly, I recently found blocking their numbers is a good "safety" so you aren't even seeing their number pop up when they try and drop a hook, let alone giving in to temptation.

Post: #107

(12-22-2015 07:07 PM)262 Wrote:  

True but what about us on a no-fap diet?

Post: #108

(08-17-2016 08:04 AM)The Ligurian Wrote:  

(12-22-2015 07:07 PM)262 Wrote:  

True but what about us on a no-fap diet?

Turn the phone off, go outside and do something physical or go be around women other than her.

As soon as you find yourself thinking about her occupy your body and your mind.

Post: #109

(08-16-2016 10:04 AM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  Ex reached out to me last night after not seeing/speaking for two months, she basically just stated her reasons for the breakup and said at the end that she "wished me well".

I think Bill Burr does a bit on this where he talks about women just have a super power in a way in that they know when you're getting over them and they know when to hit you up and inject themselves back into your life basically just to fuck with you.

I've been seeing a new girl who I like, but just seeing this ex's # pop up in my phone, regardless of what she said, has put me mentally right back to where I was during the initial breakup. I thought prior to yesterday that I was basically over her. It's taking all my willpower to not respond but it's still messing with my head more than I like to admit.

Thanks for reading guys.

I remember this girl who used to mess with my head whenever I got into a relationship or good spot with a girl. The final straw was once when I was like "yeah I have a girlfriend, things are great, you won't be hearing from me anymore" and her reply was something like "sure...you'll be back"

It was like a drug dealer being like "sure...there's no way you'll ever get clean, you're weak" and I cut that bitch right off. Zero contact despite her being a hot, into other girls slut.

Try that on for size next time some ghost from the past tries to suck you in. They think you are weak and will fall right back into the trap.

Post: #110

From my personal experience, if I didn't know better, I could swear women can sense when you get over them or find someone else and they pop up just then. It's like they're friggin Jedi's and feel the disturbance in the Force.
My ex fiance used to pull that shit on me the next morning I'd go on a date with a girl.

Something I heard from my dad about getting back with ex's and such: "You can't fix a broken vase. You can glue it all back together as good as you can, but the cracks remain and a slightest bump with shatter in all to pieces again."

When you feel an urge to contact your ex always use something women do not possess: Logic.
Literally, write on a piece of paper the outcomes of you contacting her and not contacting her. Both in a short and long run. Be honest.
Logic always wins.

Post: #111

(08-22-2016 08:00 AM)Grenblin Wrote:  From my personal experience, if I didn't know better, I could swear women can sense when you get over them or find someone else and they pop up just then. It's like they're friggin Jedi's and feel the disturbance in the Force.
My ex fiance used to pull that shit on me the next morning I'd go on a date with a girl.

Something I heard from my dad about getting back with ex's and such: "You can't fix a broken vase. You can glue it all back together as good as you can, but the cracks remain and a slightest bump with shatter in all to pieces again."

When you feel an urge to contact your ex always use something women do not possess: Logic.
Literally, write on a piece of paper the outcomes of you contacting her and not contacting her. Both in a short and long run. Be honest.
Logic always wins.

Yeah it's just a power that they seem to have, very weird but they really do just seem to know.

Post: #112

(05-11-2016 10:48 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  So I'm pretty sure the main girl in my rotation (which admittedly isn't large) is getting banged out by another guy on the regular.

Met with her at her place on Tuesday night and she seemed cold. We had dinner, but she wouldn't have sex, which was a first. We fooled around a little bit but she didn't seem really into it. She wasn't on her period as she usually volunteers this information. She gave me a half hearted blowjob, but wouldn't even take off her top. Refused sex - "I'm tired."

Almost EXACTLY how my sidepiece behaved recently after she banged another dude. Now that I think about it, probably it was the very previous night. Gotta start wrapping it up, jesus.

Post: #113

I broke up with my ex in May of 2015. Saw her in the fall of 2015 and she turned away. My presence clearly rattled her. Say her again today, and time has not been kind. I've dropped a bit of weight, and gained substantial muscle. That's gotta sting a little because she walked past with her head down. A day without Vinman is like a day without sunshine. Winning.....

Post: #114

Great thread. If you receive a facebook message from an ex you're no longer responding to, better to read it and let her see you've read it, or just delete it?

Post: #115

(08-24-2016 07:12 PM)brobrobro Wrote:  Great thread. If you receive a facebook message from an ex you're no longer responding to, better to read it and let her see you've read it, or just delete it?

IMHO, reading it and having her seeing that you read it without a response should send a clear message.
And why would one keep the ex in your FB friend list? She's an ex for a reason.

Post: #116

(08-24-2016 07:12 PM)brobrobro Wrote:  Great thread. If you receive a facebook message from an ex you're no longer responding to, better to read it and let her see you've read it, or just delete it?

Doesn't matter. Either way she will feel ignored/unimportant to you/out of your life. If you honestly don't care what she could possibly have to say then just ignore it all together.

When I moved across the country and ex of mine sent me an email just saying she's happy for me and "please don't take this as an opportunity to get mad at me for contacting you" yadda yadda. I read the email, deleted, and never responded. A year before my last ex sent me a FB message asking if I still had a movie she liked and if I could burn her a copy of it. I read it like a week after she sent it and never responded.

Post: #117

I think, I need to post here. I am, I can't hide it, a sentimental man. My low mood is a result of Soft next - what went wrong post.

Well, I haven't heard from the girl for over a week after soft next, thus I reached out to her on Christmas day to reconcile with her, only to learn, to may dismay, within over a week she got herself a new guy, as she claimed, and she was happy with him! Women can be quick these days, huh?

Well, spoke with her on the phone (surprisingly, she picked up) immediately after she told me, was just too affected to act cool, calm and collected and stay nonchalant about it. I guess I stirred up her emotions, but what for? Didn't ask her to come back or anything like that, just told her to think about it and hang up.

The thing is, I was today passing through the place, not far from I met her through street approach, where I took her immediately after and it was there when things began to take shape. The place is beautifully scenic, and the day was filled with sunlight, just like that day. I thought of the things I've done to help her to get where she was now and the moments we've had. I had tears in my eyes.

I really, really badly wanted to reach out to her today for the first time since we've spoken on Christmas day - to write to her a long-ish message (I have a knack to write poetically and engagingly), that I was there, the place reminded me of her, that the bench was empty... but without asking her for anything and only just to bring up in her emotions of that day we've shared. But what purpose would that really serve?

So I try to hold on and not to contact her.

I do take action - keep routine, eat healthy, work out, and been doing day game from the first day of the year, and will keep it going like that, each day until I get laid - no exception.* First weekend rolls in, I'll hit some bars, either solo or with my mates, both to chill and make some play.

I hope, I'll stay strong.

*Problem with Scotland is there is just not enough good looking girls kicking about (speaking of solo girls) in general to talk to 6-10 every day, and during Winter especially. Still, I manage 2-3 approaches daily. Hopefully, once the university is back on, the situation will get much better.

Post: #118

I've called my old LTR twice over the past 24 hours asking for a chance to "talk civilly" to at least help give me closure.

Imma need people to reinvigorate this thread, cause boy do I need it right now...

Post: #119

(01-15-2017 06:27 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  I've called my old LTR twice over the past 24 hours asking for a chance to "talk civilly" to at least help give me closure.

Imma need people to reinvigorate this thread, cause boy do I need it right now...

Yes, I know what you're feeling, I've broken up with my ex last month but stayed strong and did not re-contact her. Each day you'll feel better. Stay strong.

MaceTyrell, you need to give us more background.

How you've broken up and over what?

You've called her, did she pick up or not? I guess she didn't?

Mind you, the thread is about not contacting your ex, the rule you've already broken.

You probably, covertly, want her back - be honest with yourself. The forum can help, but at the end of the day, it's your life and you who is making decisions.

IF (and it's a huge if) you'd like to reconnect with her for whatever reason, you're shooting yourself in a foot in your current situation. Trying to get in touch with her in present situation, you're giving her a MASSIVE pull after she gave you a push. To put it bluntly, you're a dog being kicked hard in its balls and coming for more. Quite probably, when you blow her phone with calls/messages she's sucking another guy. Nasty as it sounds, it's the reality. She's not sitting in a corner crying and waiting for you to call. Girls almost always do monkey branching - she's had a new dude (or dudes) lined up and very likely fucked (or at least kissed, if not sucked him/them) him before she officially broke up with you. Welcome to the real, dirty world of sex and dating.

The only thing you should do is to lay low and do not contact her ever again. I know it's hard, but that's the best you can do right now.

IF (and it's a huge if) you'd like to reconnect with her (for whatever reason), she has to do that. She needs to pull. NOT you. Even then, you should ignore her but, let's face it, we're only human and not all of us can stay strong and be real men. Not a sissy boy like most guys who'd keep contacting her over and over and their value would go from zero (in her eyes) to negative. Don't be that guy. Can you be a man?

IF she at some point contacts you (but don't count on that or expect that or hope for that), you still need to be very cautious of her agenda and take time before replying and do everything on YOUR terms. Still, probably you should not at all, or at least until you've healed, fucked some girls, and mentally detached from her. How long it will take, depends on your actions and some circumstances beyond your control.

Ideally, just go out, fuck other girls, and forget her. Then, she'll be an afterthought and if you want to get closure some weeks/months later, add her as a fuckbuddy, hatefuck, or whatever, you will be in a position of strength. But only after you fuck other girls and give yourself some time to heal. No sooner than that. Still, ideally, you should just move on as she did.

It is very, very unlikely she broke up with you without a new guy lined up but it happens. The only viable solution is to lay low and not to contact her, in other words, you push (her away). To put things into perspective even more, read All Women Have Sex Within 24 Hours of Breaking Up. Again, welcome to the real world: she's fucking another dude, whilst you're pining for her.

Right now, you probably are emotionally fragile and would make situation only worse for yourself, your dignity, and self esteem by talking to her or meeting up with her.

Go out and fuck other girls. Right now. It's the best thing you can do. Remember, she's almost certainly fucking a new dude(s).

Post: #120

When we had an argument for the last time because I was leaving her place to get home (she wanted me to stay) she was quite rude, so I just left. She texted me a few hours later that she is sorry that she should not have been so rude, I never texted her back, ever, bye. Would have dumped her before my upcoming trip anyway.

Post: #121

For anybody that wants to contact there ex I suggest you play a little game my best friend and I play. We sit down once a year and talk about old ex's. Then we guess if they look better now than they did when we dated them.

The answer is always a strong and resounding NO. If you go and do what you did to improve your stock as a man and all she did was get worse YOU ARE DATING DOWN if you go back to that.

All the reminseing and memories will be of the old her and won't change how she is now.

Post: #122

(01-15-2017 03:37 PM)realologist Wrote:  For anybody that wants to contact there ex I suggest you play a little game my best friend and I play. We sit down once a year and talk about old ex's. Then we guess if they look better now than they did when we dated them.

The answer is always a strong and resounding NO. If you go and do what you did to improve your stock as a man and all she did was get worse YOU ARE DATING DOWN if you go back to that.

All the reminseing and memories will be of the old her and won't change how she is now.

Is there something similar to wife goggles where to you, she'll always look the same as she looked back then, though?

Post: #123

(01-02-2017 03:46 PM)ksbms Wrote:  I think, I need to post here. I am, I can't hide it, a sentimental man. My low mood is a result of Soft next - what went wrong post.

Well, I haven't heard from the girl for over a week after soft next, thus I reached out to her on Christmas day to reconcile with her, only to learn, to may dismay, within over a week she got herself a new guy, as she claimed, and she was happy with him! Women can be quick these days, huh?

Well, spoke with her on the phone (surprisingly, she picked up) immediately after she told me, was just too affected to act cool, calm and collected and stay nonchalant about it. I guess I stirred up her emotions, but what for? Didn't ask her to come back or anything like that, just told her to think about it and hang up.

The thing is, I was today passing through the place, not far from I met her through street approach, where I took her immediately after and it was there when things began to take shape. The place is beautifully scenic, and the day was filled with sunlight, just like that day. I thought of the things I've done to help her to get where she was now and the moments we've had. I had tears in my eyes.

I really, really badly wanted to reach out to her today for the first time since we've spoken on Christmas day - to write to her a long-ish message (I have a knack to write poetically and engagingly), that I was there, the place reminded me of her, that the bench was empty... but without asking her for anything and only just to bring up in her emotions of that day we've shared. But what purpose would that really serve?

So I try to hold on and not to contact her.

I do take action - keep routine, eat healthy, work out, and been doing day game from the first day of the year, and will keep it going like that, each day until I get laid - no exception.* First weekend rolls in, I'll hit some bars, either solo or with my mates, both to chill and make some play.

I hope, I'll stay strong.

*Problem with Scotland is there is just not enough good looking girls kicking about (speaking of solo girls) in general to talk to 6-10 every day, and during Winter especially. Still, I manage 2-3 approaches daily. Hopefully, once the university is back on, the situation will get much better.

That point about Scotland (Glasgow?) is too true. A move in the future is definitely planned.

Post: #124

I'm just about done with day 11, I plan on making it infiniti with the exception of anything sexual. I still have things I want to sort out with her, as it was a very intense relationship, only the second girl I have been vulnerable around, but I will not be her lunch date.

If my lesson from this breakup taught me anything: your woman can flip on you in a minute. It was literally one week from marriage+dog+kids to "needing space." I'm thankful that it didn't hurt my finances besides the cost of things we did together, and I didn't waste much time with her.

Post: #125

(01-15-2017 04:11 PM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  Is there something similar to wife goggles where to you, she'll always look the same as she looked back then, though?

There's always an element of fantasy involved in how you view your partner, even when she's at her physical peak.

For instance, the breakup I felt the worst was with a woman who most here would rank as an HB3 and 5+ years more of smoking and drinking into her 40s has probably pushed her down to a low HB2. When the love hormones eventually faded off I could not understand why I fell for her in the first place. It was the product of a one-off set of life circumstances. Missing the ex is really about missing the brief moment when everything seemed like it was clicking but it's a fantasy to think it can come again.