Post: #1

It seems that a large portion of men are not going to find a suitable woman and raise a family with. Many are going to be on their own. Many will also not have adequate finances as the economy gets worse. It is a bleak picture but also a reality.

How does everyone feel about this. How best to prepare. It will have a lot to do with getting in a good financial position. But even then illness may strike or an accident. One may not have family to assist.

Post: #2

Post: #3

I've thought about this myself, and it is a good question. Its been answered a thousand times over in this forum across various threads, but maybe never directly addressed.

1. Health and Fitness. Eat clean, exercise hard. Sprint, lift weights and maintain good mobility. Sleep 9 hours a night. Shield your skin from the sun and toxins. Avoid drugs and alcohol.
2. Keep your legal affairs in order. Don't cheat on your taxes; maintain good records. Keep your anger and emotions in check. Avoid toxic women and their traps, and get most of your bangs in abroad.
3. Work hard (smart) and save money. Ideally, you should be able to check out permanently between age 35 and 40.

With the lifestyle promoted on this forum, most of us will probably end up alone. But, by following these steps, and with a bit of luck, you should still be healthy into your 80s.

Post: #4

(11-14-2015 08:32 PM)RIslander Wrote:  3. Work hard (smart) and save money. Ideally, you should be able to check out permanently between age 35 and 40.

Any particular suggestions? I am trying to figure out my path out. Thanks.

Post: #5

Don't worry about a "large portion of men". Worry about yourself. Men all over and even from this forum continue to have children. Just because things are not as rosy as they once were doesn't mean all is lost.

Adapt. Make yourself valuable. Put away money. Exercise regularly and health won't be such a worry. Maintain your relationships with family and friends.

The picture for men as a whole may be bleaker but that doesn't mean the picture for you is bleak.

Post: #6

Finding a good woman isn't as hard as people make it out to be. The problem is most people are chasing leopard print unicorns.

Post: #7

Focus on what you can control, your health, finances, and goals right now. You will meet the future with the same tools that you use to tackle the present.

Nobody knows the future. We can make some predictions, sure, but it may not be as bleak as you may think.

Truth is most things don't go according to plan and many of the things you say worry you, you have no control over. I can lead a super healthy life and still get cancer, I can save up tons of money only for it to be wiped out by a period of hyperinflation, tomorrow I may die in a car accident.

I recently had two people close to me die. Puts shit into perspective, for what everyone knew they were completely healthy, and within a few days they were dead.

So have a plan in place, but instead of worrying about it your energy is much better spent on doing something productive today.

Post: #8

I'll be hitting on nurses in the old folks home. And when I get nowhere with that I will be banging the least unattractive female residents (excuse me while I go throw up at that mental image...)

In the less distant future there are really no guarantees. Even if I happen to find a woman worth settling down with in the coming years (I'm 39 now) and possibly have kids with her, there's always the risk that she'll divorce me even when she's 20 years past the wall.
And while you can hopefully rely on your kids and other remaining blood relatives to still be around for occasional or frequent company when you're old, in some families there's not even a guarantee of that for an assortment of reasons.

Get used to enjoying your own company and solitude if you aren't already. Even when you do have plenty of social and intimate options that's a strong fallback to have.

Post: #9

The idea that dudes in their 20s and 30s -- hell, even dudes in their 40s and 50s -- should devote even a millisecond of their time to worrying about "illness", "old age", and "dying alone" is a laughable absurdity, and it testifies better than anything else to how weak-minded and spoiled the men of these generations have become.

If you are a healthy man in his prime, and by that I mean anything under 60, and you ever catch yourself even for an instant whining about the supposed prospects of "old age" and "dying alone", you should slap yourself across the face -- hard -- and shame yourself out of this idiocy once and for all. Your mind should be concentrated on the things of life, on pussy, money, work, friendship, and just the random things that happen every day that make life interesting and enjoyable. Leave the troubles of age to those who have earned them -- and that would be the old. You aren't one of them, so there is no need for you to deal with that nonsense.

I don't understand what the deal is with dudes of this generation being positively hungry to feel old at the earliest opportunity. It's a dismal and unpleasant mystery. I read about guys in their thirties -- even as early as guys in mid to late twenties -- already whining about how they're "burned out", how they're "tired of the game", how it all suddenly seems "empty" or "meaningless" or some such nonsense: you'd think they've had the weight of the world on their shoulders, instead of living the most comfortable and cosseted lives ever lived by human beings in history. Fuck that -- I'm in my very late 30s, and I feel like I'm just barely getting started. At least Hollywood at its height would have the decency to cast an old cop in his early 50s with a solid gut to earn the right to utter the sublime and immortal phrase, "I'm getting too old for this shit". Because anyone younger saying that would just show him up as a weakling.

None of that has anything to do with marriage, by the way. As I wrote in a thread a while back, most men should -- and will -- eventually marry and have kids, that is how it's always been and likely always will be. But marry because you want to have children and a family and a woman to come home to (and hopefully she can fix you a decent meal while she's at it). Don't do it because of the canting fear of "dying alone" as if that piece of word garbage could possibly have a real meaning to a man in his prime. It doesn't, and no one should pretend otherwise.

Post: #10

You could also mediate on your death like Stoicism recommends. You might make yourself less afraid of its inevitability and finality. That doesn't mean your going to kill yourself, just that your less afraid of the idea of death or illness. I believe they call it mediation of evils. One thing that comes to mind is people don't fear the time before they were born, but do fear the time after they live. Why is that?

http://blogs.exeter.ac.uk/stoicismtoday/...-stoicism/

He is a bit whiny but interesting progression. Found Ellis first.

http://philosophy-of-cbt.com/2014/10/10/...cism-2014/

This is more indepth. I will read it more more myself but it looks like it will answer a lot of question regarding fear of death.

Post: #11

^^ kbell, I've had these exact thoughts on my mind recently.

It seems a lot of discontent in the lives of the elderly occurs because the fact their death is impending is constantly forced into their minds. Death is impending and imminent for all of us, even the young (in references to Lizard's post above). But, we should not worry about death. Nor illness or anything of the sort.

The reason many people worry about these things is because they threaten to (and do) bring an end to the most valuable entity in this world, which is our own life. But, why would you worry about these things if you are living a life to the fullest to begin with?

I don't mean that in some new-agey sense.

If you meditate--contemplate your own death on a regular basis, you're going to do more to enjoy your life. You're less likely to take things for granted. Instead of putting off things for later or enjoying what you have in the moment to the fullest because after all, death is only for those in old age (sarcasm).

We all know that imminent death is a reality but few of us truly realize it, I think.

Shit, 2-3 years ago there were many loose ends in my life. If I were to have died then, and I had known just prior to the fact, I would have been severely disheartened, anxious, emotionally broken. The same cannot be said about me today.

I gradually began to do things that I had been leaving for later ('because I have so much time..') such as taking up a new sport seriously and doing that one trip abroad I've always wanted to do. I got closer to the people whom I greatly value and pushed away those that are just noise (I'll take 50 close friends, family, important others on facebook over a large social network of 500 like I used to have, thank you). Among many other things, I don't want to digress.

If I die tomorrow, damn, but oh well. I've had a wicked time.

Apply this principle with the next or current girl you're seeing, provided she's the type of company you enjoy. Every moment and embrace is your last. Your times together will be much more fulfilling and in some way I cannot explain yet you'll draw and hook her in much more than usual, provided her interest level is the same or higher than yours.

Post: #12

No marriage or rewarding family life will ever shield us from the inevitability of death and suffering in life. Marriage and family will at best provide a distraction from this part of life that we must all endure ultimately. Only a spiritual life will provide the way for transcending and provide solace to which we all will face.

Post: #13

(11-15-2015 11:03 AM)Dantes Wrote:  No marriage or rewarding family life will ever shield us from the inevitability of death and suffering in life. Marriage and family will at best provide a distraction from this part of life that we must all endure ultimately. Only a spiritual life will provide the way for transcending and provide solace to which we all will face.

Couple that with how many wives and children actually sit at the bedsides of their ailing fathers these days. Ever wonder why nursing homes and hospice care is such a massive industry? I have seen it only a few times, usually the father was wealthy and enabled the extravagant lifestyles of the family members so they shower praise and attention on the dying parent. It's no guarantee that if you have children they will be there for you late in life, especially in a contentious marriage which appears to be the norm and not the exception.

Post: #14

(11-14-2015 08:34 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

(11-14-2015 08:32 PM)RIslander Wrote:  3. Work hard (smart) and save money. Ideally, you should be able to check out permanently between age 35 and 40.

Any particular suggestions? I am trying to figure out my path out. Thanks.

I am a union worker with an hourly rate, so for me its just putting in the hours and being available for overtime. My job offers the opportunity to make some serious cash if I can be available to travel internationally for up to a week on a few hours notice. Most guys are married and have commitments... being single allows me to take advantage.

For me, its just living as cheaply as I can and earning as much as I can, while investing my money as wisely as I can.

Post: #15

The only part of this that worries me even slightly is illness/disability.
I look forward to being the old man I'm going to be. I'm gunna have a MASSIVE grey beard and a black t shirt, I'll be that old dude who practically lives in his shed that's full of cool stuff, spannering on classic cars and bikes, jamming playing rock'n'roll with my mates. People will come around with all kinds of cool old stuff for me to help them get it running 'cos I'm the only bloke around who knows anything about carburettors and shit, or wanting to pay big bucks for stuff from my collection that I saved when it was worthless.
When the lonely old women about town want that feeling of being held by a man just one more time, who they gunna call? Me or Mr fat just-retired beta who dedicated his life to paying off his ex-wife's house and fat daughters' college funds?

Post: #16

Life's been atrociously hard for humans ever since the dawn of time, if you're a western male alive today you're in the top tiny, tiny fraction of humans who've ever lived in terms of lifestyle, security, comfort, opportunity, etc.

In terms of actually maximizing quality of life and compressing that end-of-life suffering and avoiding major illness/disability, it simply comes down to making smart moves. Financially, health-wise, risk-taking, etc.

The information is all out there and it's mostly common sense. Just a case of sticking to the script once you've figured out how to maximise your chances.

Post: #17

OP, I understand your sentiment, but worrying about old age and death is useless and counterproductive. Look at things from another perspective: who says you'll die old and lonely? You could get killed in a car accident today, or in a terrorist attack tomorrow. There are no guarantees in life.

Instead of worrying about things we have little or no control over, it would be more useful to focus on the present. You can't change what happened in the past, but what you do today will define how you'll live tomorrow. Simply put, pay attention to your health, work out, eat healthy, avoid alcohol, tobacco and drugs, learn game, improve yourself every day and you'll do well. If I were some liberal hipster chick, I'd even use the phrase 'Live life to the fullest'.

When it comes to marriage&family aspect, Rollo Tomassi had a good article on The Rational Male a couple of years ago:

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/12/th...y-old-man/

Post: #18

Not speaking for everyone, but I think for some guys, myself included, they're worried about not being able to find a prime-age wife instead of not being able to find a wife at all. With the west as fucked up as it is, and with the rest of the world looking like it'll be completely feminized within the next decade or so, if you don't find a wife by age 30 you're probably going to be stuck with some used up 30+ year old slut.

Post: #19

You come into this world alone (unless you're a twin) and you most certainly leave by yourself. Growing old alone after having lead a full and interesting life is infinitely better than growing old with a harpy of a wife who you can't get rid of at that old of an age.

Any time I see old couples, I see how miserable the man is and I tell myself that I'd rather die alone and early than live that shitty life. I'm thankful everyday that my wife decided to divorce me so I don't have to ever deal with that in my life.

Post: #20

Every man should internalize the Tetrapharmakos

Don't fear god,
Don't worry about death;
What is good is easy to get,
What is terrible is easy to endure


1. If God gets angry at a mild transgression, that is a sign of weakness. God has eternal strength, therefore he will never be angered.
2. You don't feel anything when you die. Never feeling happiness is not the same as feeling eternal sadness
3. "What is good" is simply pleasure without pain. Don't we all feel that way at least once a week?
4. Pain subsides over time, and you eventually become numb to it.

Arthur C. Brooks gave a speech once (can't find it) where he states that we can only feel positive or negative about a certain event for up to 6 months. After that, we normalize it. So no point in worrying about some debilitating event (of lack of events) making your life miserable - you'll only feel that way for a few months. With or without support.

Ultimately, you want to look up on your deathbed and remember the good, adventurous life you lived. Not the boring, monotonous life you lived as a slave to a "family" that society prescribed to you.

People who genuinely care for you are important. They will let you truly live life. If they stop you from doing so, its out of self-interest, not love for you.

So find friends who truly care for you and let you do what you want. If you must get married and have kids, marry a woman who will join you in your adventures. That is the key to a good life.

Most people live in a prison without walls, gates, and guards. But they allow themselves to remain imprisoned out of fear of what lies in the forest beyond.

Post: #21

I went to a men's fellowship of a church last night. The man who co-ordinated it mentioned that the divorce rate among Christians is exactly the same as it is among the population in general.

Remember that women initiate 70% of divorces and engineer the man to want a divorce in most of the remaining 30%.

This means that marriage to women who should see it as a blood covenant in front of the Almighty is no guarantee to avoid isolation at an old age.

Post: #22

Every creature in this world dies alone.

Post: #23

Epicurus (341–270) in his Letter to Menoeceus:

"Death …, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not."

So it's sort of absurd to think about death except as a practical plan to use your time as you will look back on with satisfaction.

Get your book done. get rejected by a girl too hot for you, buy the guitar you want, go to that far off country before you go to the Undiscovered Country.

Post: #24

In the end service to others and teaching your wisdom to the young is the best way to take your mind off of your own pain and suffering... to quote a Navy Seal serving as a boot camp battalion commander in my youth (18) a little pain is good for you it let's you know you are still alive.

Post: #25

I guess if you put reincarnation into perspective, there can be no fear of death.
This is not the first and last life.
And if you are ill and alone, when you are old, it's a good thing as you'll die sooner and will not suffer as much.