Post: #26

Every love leaves a corpse behind. Dead or alive.

Post: #27

Ok how about this one, can you control who you "fall in love" with?

A few months I feel for this girl, despite me knowing that she would not get with me, despite her having a boyfriend, despite me seeing through her games I still thought about her, I still fell for her silly games and got trapped in her web of lies.

Sure there were times where I just said "fuck this bitch!" But when I saw her it all fell apart, I couldnt help myself, it was a pretty terrible time...

Looking back I just wanna slap myself for being such a pussy but damn its like I couldnt even help myself, even the last text she sent me I swore that I wouldnt respond....I did. At least I dont think I'll be hearing of her again which is good.

Post: #28

Love, like many other things, is so greatly misunderstood in the mainstream because people just believe the definition that society put out there. Most people don't have the self-awareness to sit and ponder what the definition of love is based on their actual experiences. Most people also aren't honest enough to look back and realize that something they though was love was actually something entirely different.

I call that other thing lust.

The best way to tell the difference is to look at where your emotions peak and what happens after. If your emotions peak before you have obtained what you desired and fall off after you obtain it that's not love. The emotional peak for love is different.

I also don't think you can truly love something that you don't understand. You have to put the time into really understanding a woman before you start to really love her. I'm not talking about knowing her favorite things and other superficial shit. I'm talking about how she acts in different environments and situations.

What's her expression like when she is trying to concentrate and understand something? Maybe she plays with her hair and sticks her tongue out and that makes you laugh.
How does she act when she is around her family? Is it a healthy relationship?
How does she act in a room full of strangers? Do you think it's cute that her toes point in because she's shy?
How does she deal with stress?
What's her expression like when she is truly happy?

There's other things like if she's giving and loyal. That's where the conditional part comes in.

I know my girl would throw me cash if I was down and out. It's conditional in the sense that she would expect to see me back on my feet.

Sometimes I don't understand why guys talk about a woman's conditional love like it's a bad thing. Most love is conditional. Fuck, my love for anything is conditional. If my parents were shitty I wouldn't love them. If my best friends needed cash I would help them out but if they didn't figure their shit out eventually I would drop them.

To really sum it up, love isn't the magic thing that people perceive it to be. Part of it comes from liking someone as a person and part of it comes from the value they add to your like. It also has to be maintained just like anything else.

It might seem cynical to say that love isn't this great emotional high, but that it isn't cynical at all. It only seems that way because your expectation of it was way off.

Post: #29

I think Love is a pair bond. At least with me, it is imagining a future with that woman, imagining her being the mother of your children, and being happy with that image. It's also based in years of experience proving her to be trustworthy, loving, caring, nurturing, etc. It develops over time as she proves day in and day out that she is worthy of your love.

You can go and have sex with 500 nasty sluts, and declare all women nasty sluts. You've had sex with 500, your experience is tremendous, how can you conclude anything else?

That does not mean your experience is representative. No trait like "sluttiness" or "trustworthyness" is evenly distributed. So if you're out spending years of your life persuing sluts, banging sluts, and hanging around sluts, you think a subgroup of females represents all them.

Then you read about feminists and terrible American women in general, and that further sours your opinion on all women.

Certainly a large majority are unlovable, etc.

But there also are some good ones out there. If you want love, a relationship, a family, you have to try to find them. They do exist. There are loving marriages where the woman doesn't cheat, doesn't divorce-rape you, doesn't turn into an awful nag. They're rare, of course. But then, so are high-quality men.

Become worthy of having a high-quality girl, and do your best to find one. Keep your standards high and know what you won't tolerate. And good luck.

Post: #30

Heartiste wrote about how women never fall out of love with an alpha, even after they break up.

I think men can love many women at the same time and women can only love one man at a time.

Post: #31

I do believe it exists, however, it is rarer than an internet alpha living up to his claims in real life. There are so many components that factor into “Modern Love” including values, personality traits, lifestyle preferences, intellectual compatibility, the ability to be grateful, rejection of “how things are supposed to be”, and of course, the physical. I use quotations around “Modern Love” because relationships since the advent of mass media have been coopted from being about reproduction and family extension into to focusing on happiness and a laundry list of bullshit. How do we know this? Women get more excited about a wedding than the marriage which is very telling. Anyways, the list I laid out if a verrry tall order. If you hit most of those, you are heading in the right direction.

I’ve experienced true love before (4 years) and wow, its life altering. The sex is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and that isn’t even the primary concern. You feel warm, connected, and in sync all the time. Maybe, I just got lucky and landed a really great girl that matched my idealistic values but it was amazing.
However, it also nearly ruined me. I was a natural growing up and generally had my pick of girls. Combining a natural with a deep seated blue pill infantile story book mentality led to a lot of resentment. And eventually, AWALT, so resentment turns to anger and fighting. I lost my way so hard and my head was so fucked up, it took me almost 5 years to recover.

Someone mentioned about women being able to love men the way we want, well no, of course not. We’ve been programmed since day 1 to believe they are capable of something they aren’t. Why? Because it supports the narrative of letting an emotional retard run the household. “Happy wife, happy life” it a marketer’s dream (quick aside, fuck Katherine Hiegl and 99% of RomComs), they are never happy so Hubby Henry just perpetuates the cycle. Also, we are taught to give them carte blanche on defining romance and creating benchmarks of acceptable behavior which of course is accept whatever a chick says. I imagine that is what led the majority of guys here, massive investment in above concepts and major disappointment.

Bullshit past aside, the RP allows you to screen for a wife/love correctly. It’s actually quite simple, how she views her dad is how she will view love. So yes, we revert back to old school norms and involve the parents in courting, covertly. If the dad is viewed in a positive frame, you are free to be a man and lead the relationship. If she views her dad in a positive light, has some of the positive traits you look for, and you are ready; buy a bed and start pumping her full of your DNA till either your bank account or her pussy gives out. We have a big population chasm coming and need some replenishment. Happy Hunting, boys.

Post: #32

(10-09-2015 03:04 PM)greekgod Wrote:  I do believe it exists, however, it is rarer than an internet alpha living up to his claims in real life. There are so many components that factor into “Modern Love” including values, personality traits, lifestyle preferences, intellectual compatibility, the ability to be grateful, rejection of “how things are supposed to be”, and of course, the physical.

I’ve experienced true love before (4 years) and wow, its life altering. The sex is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and that isn’t even the primary concern. You feel warm, connected, and in sync all the time. Maybe, I just got lucky and landed a really great girl that matched my idealistic values but it was amazing.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Entire post was great but I wanted to highlight this part.

Some paradoxical thoughts:

The forum should appreciate Just Like A Woman by Bob Dylan, since it lays out a lot of the discussed concepts here --
Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev’rybody knows
That Baby’s got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl

Queen Mary, she’s my friend
Yes, I believe I’ll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can’t be blessed
Till she sees finally that she’s like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl

It was raining from the first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what’s worse
Is this pain in here
I can’t stay in here
Ain’t it clear that—

I just can’t fit
Yes, I believe it’s time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don’t let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl


On the other hand, and it may just be the current headspace and life situation I am in, love is absolutely real and women are capable of feeling it beyond just being a wife/mother. It's rare, and yes you have to have your shit together to instigate it, and there has to be a massive lucky overlap of mindsets (as indicated by the post I quoted), but many of them crave to have a man who brings out their love. I'll bet there are a lot less women incapable of love than the forum recognizes (although there are not many worth our love, which is a different story). So I'd have to say that the positive flip side of the Dylan lyric is she also breaks like a little girl when she truly shares love, feels desired, and pulsates with respect and admiration for the man who produces this. This is when women are at their most beautiful and fulfilling (well, maybe it's more when they become mothers -- I haven't experienced that yet). You look at a sexy, feminine, pleasant young woman sleeping next to you after she has been loved properly (physically and mentally), and that is as close to angelic as her face will ever look. And as long as two people work to stay on the same page and cultivate that happiness, it can add to both your lives. Doesn't mean it's forever; I'm not claiming that. But it's damn good.

Post: #33

The thing to remember is love can happen but is in transcendence of the Primary Conflict: described by Freud "Man's primary love object is woman, woman's primary love object is her children. "

So men always tend to love women more than it is returned. Unless you have low attachment tendencies, you have to actively try to counterbalance that.

Post: #34

What is love ?

Post: #35

(10-08-2015 07:40 AM)Geomann180 Wrote:  To use a friend's words, I believe that you should not love a woman because of how you feel about her, but because of how she makes you feel about yourself.

G

Man, no shit ain't that the truth. Take that idea and the longer she can maintain that feeling, potentially the better she is for an LTR.

It's rare a girl has the energy to fake something like making you feel good about yourself indefinitely unless she's a good catch. It would take a helluva player bitch to pull that off on a red-pill man. However, I can see a girl faking that especially if you've got mad paper.

Post: #36

I am sure it has been said before but love is nothing but a chemical cocktail of drugs hitting the brain, not too different from that of heroine, alcohol and cocaine. This has been extensively studied. You get your high and when it runs out you want more because it's addictive.

Being in love puts you in an unfavourable position, because the supply of the drug is in the hands of someone else. With heroine, you control the supply, but with love, she does and she can cut it all off at a moments notice. When a women knows she has you addicted and she controls the supply, she knows you will do anything possible to keep the supply flowing - and that's when she uses it to extract more value out of you. This is when in the movies you see men taking women on romantic trips and buying her nice things.

Article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opium_Wars

Quote:China, inward-facing, had little demand for foreign goods, while European nations sought them, and so China had a very favorable trade balance, accumulating silver bullion. Opium reversed the trend. The Chinese briefly sought to stop Britain from illegally importing and selling opium in the country, while Britain sought to legalize its opium trade and to liberalize other trade. For Britain, its balance of trade would be more favourable if Chinese payments for smuggled opium

Britain (a women) wanted to extract resources from China (a man) who at first didn't see the value in doing so. Britain got China hooked on opium (love) by importing it from India. Once China was addicted to the drug, they had to export their resources to pay for the opium.

This is exactly no different to what a women does to a man. Once you're in love with her, she controls the supply and you'll end up paying to keep your addition satisfied.

Like most addictive drugs, it's OK to try them every now and again but don't get hooked and stay in control. To avoid falling in love you must spin multiple plates at the same time.

Post: #37

I didn't read the replies yet because I don't want my opinion influenced, but I'll share my thoughts.

Love is an inherently irrational reason to date someone because you are choosing to date someone based on an emotion and not on reason.

All love is conditional. For some people, like your mother, the bar may be really low. Your mother may be satisfied with you calling once every couple of weeks, visiting her a few times a year and giving her birthday and holiday gifts. While for other people, like your spouse, the bar may be high. For your spouse, you may have to maintain a certain look, have a certain job and have certain personality traits in order to get love.

Love is a very overrated reason to be in a romantic relationship with someone. I rather be able to trust my wife than to love her. I rather have a wife who cooks, cleans and sleeps with me without loving me than have a wife who "loves" me and do none of those things.

Love is a choice. Before you know anything about a person you date, you look at that person and decide whether you will allow yourself to like or love that person. A large part of what determines whether we allow ourselves to love a person is if we consider that person to be genetically fit for reproduction.

Because love is a choice, you can allow yourself to love a person over time. This is how Indian arranged marriages work. Also, you can choose not to love a person over time. This is why American women get bored and divorce their husbands. Because love is a choice, it is wise for couple to stick with each other than to divorce.

Love is an evolutionary tool to keep men from straying and sleeping with other women and prevent women from sleeping with a bunch a men.

I have never been in love and when I see couples that are in love, I feel that I am missing out on something.

I have been infatuated before. Infatuation seems to occur before you start dating/sleeping with that person. In large part, infatuation is based on the ideal image you have of a person rather than how that person really is. That, however, does not mean that infatuation is an invalid emotion.

Unrequited love is one of the worst feelings in the world. To me, it is comparable to being tortured or the death of a loved one.

A lot of romantic rejection and pain can limit one's capacity to love. Love required vulnerability. And when the vulnerability has been abused it is difficult to be vulnerable in the future.

You are not meant to love only one person. There is no one. I always thought the idea of "the one" being stupid. You are telling me out of the 7 billion people on earth that there is only one person that is right for you? That you and your "one of of 7 billion" just so happen to be in the same geographical area and around the same age? What are the odds of that?

Love is a tool that can help to break down a lot of hatred and mistrust among various groups. It is a biological tool of cooperation among competing groups.

You can feel romantic love for different people for different reasons. While there may be qualities in a mate that will totally disqualify her for you, there are a lot of different traits that you may find attractive. Hence, there is not a definite type that people are attracted to, but that are certain types that people definitely are not attracted to.

That is everything I can think of at the moment. I'll read some of the other replies now.

Post: #38

I thought this short video was pretty key on the subject.

Post: #39

Some women I speak to dont believe in true love.

Post: #40

Love is for betas, stay the rational one in the relationship and have options and you will retain the upper hand.

Post: #41

I dont know about love but there are some women I really like.

Post: #42

When you have it you'll know. If you have to ask then don't try to push it.

Post: #43

I've been "in love" twice. First with my girlfriend in high school, who was the first girl I banged. Beta'd myself into oblivion.

Was also "in love" with the first girl I met after breaking up with my wife, who I wrote about in that post "The Awakening." At the time, this was the fourth girl I'd banged. (High school GF, random chick in college, ex-wife for about 10 years, and then her). I'll refer to her as the Oneitis.

Since then, I've plowed through enough waitresses, strippers, nurses, teachers, etc. to understand that I'll probably never feel the emotional high that I did with the Oneitis. When we were together, my heart would jump at every text message, and I'd try and read into the meaning of it all. The sex was mindblowing. I had visions of getting married, having kids, and buying a place in the suburbs.

Part of me thinks that like all things, eventually the mystery of women wears off. Sort of like Christmas - when I was a kid, I'd spend almost all of December anticipating the big day. Now Christmas is another day, mostly a minor annoyance and a disruption to making money.

I've got a great girl now. Solid 8 - 8.5, and is currently cleaning my house while I'm posting on the RVF. I feel bad that I can't get as emotionally invested as I was with the Oneitis, even though she's both hotter and more virtuous. This lack of emotional investment has happened in all my relationships since then, and developing decent game. On the other hand, my inability to completely emotionally invest keeps my frame solid and the women interested.

I do miss the emotional highs - it felt like a drug. But I'm confident that's gone, and lesson learned.

Post: #44

Wow ... so emotionally painful to readall these posts ... and yet, this is the deepest thread that I have read on rooshvforum.

I differ on the following:

(10-07-2015 01:37 PM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  To quote Roissy:

Quote:[i] And when that pretty face turns ashen and carved with the years will it really be love anymore?

I think that is a test of love. I love parents, older relatives just as much as I loved them when they were younger. I can love and have loved male friends regardless of their appearance; I look beyond that. (In the case of both relatives and male friends I'm speaking of a type of love that has nothing to do with sexual attraction.) So the fact that either I or a woman may fall out of "love" if someone who's better looking, richer,sexier, etc.comers along, tells me that this wasn'ttrue love.

Post: #45

A lot of girls dont believe in the concept of love, or true love. They hardly listen to Westlife and some dont watch soapies.

Me: Do you believe in true love?
Girl: What is that?
Me : One soul in two bodies.
Girl: Eye roll.

Post: #46

"Never compromise on love. It is the only thing in this world that isn’t bullshit." - Heartiste

(#14 here - https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/01/...he-zeroes/)

Post: #47

(10-29-2015 05:01 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  Love is for betas, stay the rational one in the relationship and have options and you will retain the upper hand.

Post: #48

Personally, I think love is an illusion. It's a combination of lust, momentary infatuation/fascination, fear of being alone, plus the ingrained idea that we need 'love' to give our lives meaning and purpose. These combine to cause a chemical reaction in our brains that we call 'love'.

I could be wrong though. Still doing research/field work on the subject.

That said, 'conditional' love isn't love at all. That's a transaction. Nothing wrong with that. It just is what it is, a part of human nature.