(06-23-2011 02:40 AM)bluewater7 Wrote: A lot of these girls in other places want money up front like in a beggar sort of fashion... they're not that hot and... well.. I think all girls can be a pain in the ass... but there are some nice girls in the US.. especially in the South. And you have every ethnicity in the US too.
The idea that these Asian / EE bitches are "nice and caring" it didn't occur to me. They seemed overly concerned about primary needs and more like.. um.. actual hookers (even though they weren't).. and sort of nice after you "bought them". LOL. At least in the US I don't have to pay for a fucking taxi, meal, and cell phone calls to find out if I LIKE a bitch. In fact, I like making bitches pay for dinner and impress me. That is unheard of in many places in the world, and I don't think the US should catch as much shit as it does because of factors like this.
This is the thing that can fool a lot of guys: the female demand for
primary needs vs.
secondary needs(also known as
luxuries). Once you understand this, it will become easy to see why guys are getting down on many (not
ALL) American women.
I would agree that in most other parts of the world, it is common for a girl to expect you to want to meet her primary needs. In fact, prior to the most recent generation, this was the norm in America as well. I would contend that this is not really gold-digging in a true sense. Most women, whether they know/admit it or not, are hardwired to consider their man's ability to meet these primary needs to some extent. And meeting these needs is attainable for a lot of men-you don't need a seven or even a six figure income to meet that bar and provide for a girl's primary needs. Most men do it quite easily if they are attracted to the girl and wish to marry her (ex. any relationship in which there is a stay-at-home/part time working mom).
Many American women make a point of downplaying(at least outwardly) their desire for their "primary needs" to be met. They'll play up their independence and will look outwardly like they have their shit together completely, and are in fact entirely equal.
You'll fool yourself into thinking that because she is not consistently demanding her primary needs be met (like many foreign women will expect), she is in fact
LESS materialistic than they are, and you'll then conclude that American women are actually great. But there is a catch: you've not accounted for
their desire for secondary needs(luxuries).
In America, primary needs are the least of their concerns. It is no longer enough for a man to simply provide a decent place, safety, and good schooling for the kids. It isn't enough to simply be a good guy with a stable, well-paying job.
Increasingly, many(not all) of these women don't want you to fund their Honda Civic purchases anymore-they want a
C-Class instead. They want you to fly them to Cancun every so often. They want you to pay for expensive dinners that, if done over the course of three months (the time she'll spend adhering to her "90 day rule") could easily cost you $10,000+. They want allowances to go on spending sprees with your credit card(preferably a black AMEX).
They don't want you to meet their primary needs-they expect you to go well beyond that. In fact,
they demand it, and many men would contend that they have come to feel entitled to it. It has become increasingly more difficult for men to catch their attention without going this extra mile and showing that they can meet this higher bar. This is part of the reason PUA has become as big as it has-men can't impress these women by just being stable as they once did, so now they work to derive new ways to show higher value(read: DHV).
The
legal system backs them up on all of this: alimony, palimony, and other draconian aspects of family law that will award women $45,000+ in child support on top of alimony if the husband was wealthy enough(who needs that much to support a single child?). Even the law here is invested in providing women with more than their primary needs require, enough so that it isn't difficult for a novice groupie/gold-digger to really take a man through the ringer legally if he isn't careful.
This entitlement mentality for these secondary needs is so entrenched that you'll have women actually planning to game the system with "starter marriages" and the like, planning for divorce because they know the judge will award them half and allow them to go buy their Mercedes with his money.
You may think an American girl is actually cheaper because you don't pay for every meal, or because they don't instantly demand their primary needs be met and they'll feign "independence". But they
will demand secondary expenses(luxuries) on a far more frequent basis than other women will in return for their company/companionship, and that means that in the long run you will actually spend quite a bit more on them. The law will probably back them up as well.
This may matter less to you if you are into Pick Up-you're not in it for the long term. But most men do consider longer-term things when it comes to their experience with women, and "most men" are the ones who are speaking out and giving American women this bad rep. If you're trying to understand why the USA and its women take so much shit, you'll have to understand why those guys feel that way even if their approach to women is different from yours.
Additionally, even as a PUA all of this still counts for you-this growing entitlement mentality means that, unless you can easily provide secondary luxuries and look the part, you'll need more game to impress an attractive woman than your parents did, and much more than your buddy in the Philippines/Ukraine/Colombia/etc will. The
bar is higher, and many guys aren't so sure it is
worth reaching for.
This is why American men praise foreign women so much. It is becoming increasingly common for many American women to expect these secondary luxuries from men, which makes things a bit more challenging for most guys because they
a) aren't wealthy enough in most cases to fund too many of those luxuries and
b) aren't able to impress them with the smaller things(primary needs) that they can willingly provide-women in America
just don't appreciate those things as much.
That same guy can go to [insert foreign country here] and feel quite a bit more appreciation from the females he meets there because
a) she's not guaranteed massive amounts of child support there,
b) she's not guaranteed alimony or a fat wedding ring and
c) she's happy to have a nice guy around who will treat her with some respect (read: avoiding beating her up/embarassing her) and meet her primary needs. There just isn't as much of an entitlement to expensive secondary needs.
The men are happy because they are appreciated in a way they are not in the US, and because they can meet attractive women while spending/having less financially. They don't need to "stunt" just to impress a girl-just being a decent, stable or "nice" guy can get them somewhere with a cute girl who in America might not even look at them (or would just take a lot more game/effort and might have a stronger "bitch shield").
That, in a nutshell, is my theory on why American women are getting a bad reputation. Not
every American girl fits the descriptions I've made above, but those mentalities have become common enough for men to notice as soon as they travel, and it creates tension as soon as they realize it.
Bottomline: American women are increasingly demanding very high prices incommensurate with their actual value.