Post: #1

"Always be willing to lose her at any moment"

That's got to be the first rule I learned when I first started practicing game. It took me a while to internalize it. Every now and then, I still struggle with it. I'm seeing a girl I like, and in between the times we see each other, it sucks to consider that I may never see her again, even though she's into you and essentially the odds would suggest otherwise.

After all, we've built a connection.

I'd say we are fortunate as men that we can replace women in our lives. An old flame, no matter how bright and hot it was, can and will eventually burn out... All you have to do is light the torch once again. Get back out there, and meet new women.

Roosh has two articles I like to reread every now and then on the subject:
Don’t Shed A Single Tear After Losing A Girl You Banged
No Girl Can Hurt A Man With Options

Anyways. How have you guys approached this rule?

What have your experiences been like?

Do you internalize it more, as time goes on?

Do you get better dealing with this harsh nature of the game? Girls come and go. But sometimes it's hard to see a specific one go. And it may not even be a 'breakup', for lack of a better term. She might just disappear out of nowhere without notice, never to be seen again, even when just a week before she told you she loved you during a post-coitus embrace.

I'm aware what I and a cool girl have going on could end at any moment. I'm not talking necessarily about serious relationships, but with some girls, I'd like to keep our mini-relationship going. Then it ends preemptively, either by my doing or hers, or just logistics at the time.

I can't help but think, if only we had been together a few more months before what we had came to a natural conclusion.

My brief experience with game has told me that girls come and go, and that no matter how cool or special this one is, there's another one around the corner, even if it takes a while for you to get there. But you will.

But it still sucks to see one of these girls go.

These are thoughts I've had on my mind recently.

Post: #2

I don't know if I have this one mastered or not but for me, it's become easier to not become attached to any one woman because I keep working on new prospects. On the flip side I don't know if I will ever truly be able to bond with one woman ever again. I get a kick out of TV shows where a woman is all hung up on "that guy" and everything he does or says to her makes her almost lose her shit. That's not how things are nowadays in my experience. The average woman is more cold and mercenary than the hardest of players in my opinion.

The great Robert Dinero said it best...

Post: #3

OregonToSoCal, beat me to it.

Post: #4

Somebody wrote in a post I read and I forgot to make a note of who but:

"It's never really your pussy, it's only just your turn"

So true. I would only add " your game determines how your turn lasts"

Post: #5

This has been a theme lately on the forum, and it's a great topic I feel like a lot of men struggle with. This is something even seasoned players struggle with.

It's a Catch 22 essentially.

You have to consciously keep yourself distant enough from a girl so that if(when) she bails on you, you aren't left miserable and depressed about it because you put all your eggs in one basket and emotionally invested a lot into this one girl. On the flipside, you miss out on a lot because you keep yourself at arm's length from any given women at all times to keep yourself from getting burned. The quest for the perfect balance is what we all strive for.

I know I certainly struggle with it still. I believe this has been the hardest thing to internalize for me. It comes down to abundance mentality, but maybe it's more than that...

It's like I know there are plenty of other girls out there, but if they are all generally expected to be wholly unreliable, then does it matter? If I lose an awesome chick, am I to assume that there is another right around the corner that I won't lose? Fat chance.

Post: #6

Have direct experience with this. This is something you can't really fake. It comes with experience, belief in yourself, and killing of your ego. I was seeing a girl who I cared for very much and vice versa. There was a situation, despite me having prepared her for, and talked to her about, and tried to help her with, that ultimately she found overwhelming. So one day we meet for coffee and I sensed before hand it was going to be over. She broke up with me. That can be a hard pill to swallow because we're all great players and slay pussy and all that. But that is the truth.

I said fine, good luck. I didn't really hold a grudge against her. I broke off all contact with her. Blocked her on social media/messaging apps. Mailed the stuff he had at my place back to her. I was pretty sad for about three days, then was starting to look forward to find someone new. A few days later she calls me. I picked up thinking it was someone else. She wanted to meet up. She apologized right away and told me that she loved me and that she was ready to stalk me at work to make sure she saw me. She had a really rough time. Meanwhile, I was more or less ok. Game immunizes you against the depths of romantic failure (although I believe on the flip side it also immunizes you against the heights of romantic love). We got back together (she's a quality girl in every sense) and she adores me more than ever. Because now she knows what I am made of. The power of no with a woman is a great power.

Post: #7

I think it's very important to be able to walk out on a woman at any time when she crosses the line.

I think this is especially important for newbies to help avoid oneitis.

After that stage is over and men start to get a larger quantity of women and they have no issues getting laid they should shift their focus. It should shift towards a balance of quality and quantity. I think the best thing is to build strong relationships with all the women you fuck with but always have the ability to drop them.

Having some kind of connection with all the women in your stable at the time will make a better quality and longer lasting. The connection doesn't have to even be close to love but you should enjoy spending time together.

These women will feel the stronger connection as well and put more into the sex and do more for you. They will usually start to expect a relationship and more defined means. Which they may drop you or you can drop them if they keep pushing too much.

This also leaves average dudes and newbies vulnerable because that connection may be too much for them. They can't keep the willing to drop at a moment and end up too involved with these women and develop oneitis.

Post: #8

(09-01-2015 04:15 PM)Menace Wrote:  Have direct experience with this. This is something you can't really fake. It comes with experience, belief in yourself, and killing of your ego. I was seeing a girl who I cared for very much and vice versa. There was a situation, despite me having prepared her for, and talked to her about, and tried to help her with, that ultimately she found overwhelming. So one day we meet for coffee and I sensed before hand it was going to be over. She broke up with me. That can be a hard pill to swallow because we're all great players and slay pussy and all that. But that is the truth.

I said fine, good luck. I didn't really hold a grudge against her. I broke off all contact with her. Blocked her on social media/messaging apps. Mailed the stuff he had at my place back to her. I was pretty sad for about three days, then was starting to look forward to find someone new. A few days later she calls me. I picked up thinking it was someone else. She wanted to meet up. She apologized right away and told me that she loved me and that she was ready to stalk me at work to make sure she saw me. She had a really rough time. Meanwhile, I was more or less ok. Game immunizes you against the depths of romantic failure (although I believe on the flip side it also immunizes you against the heights of romantic love). We got back together (she's a quality girl in every sense) and she adores me more than ever. Because now she knows what I am made of. The power of no with a woman is a great power.

Post: #9

(09-01-2015 03:34 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  Anyways. How have you guys approached this rule?

It's absolute and is the rule, either she nexts you, or you next her, it's a matter of time before one of those happens.

Quote:What have your experiences been like?

I've nexted 2 main side pieces I really enjoyed being around, the sex was great, their company was great because they caught feelings are pretty much were saying, "Boyfriend or not?"

I already have an LTR, last thing I need is another relationship.

The good thing was, the feelings are not being strung along anymore, they can leave knowing (and I told them) that I wasn't going to lead them on and they need to move on and not be jaded about this. My excuse was I'm super busy I can barely see them and that it wouldn't work.

Quote:Do you internalize it more, as time goes on?

The opposite, I internalize it less. Why ? Because with more experience, more lays, and more game play. You tend to care less and less when a girl comes and goes, you've got other important shit to worry about.

Quote:Do you get better dealing with this harsh nature of the game? Girls come and go. But sometimes it's hard to see a specific one go. And it may not even be a 'breakup', for lack of a better term. She might just disappear out of nowhere without notice, never to be seen again, even when just a week before she told you she loved you during a post-coitus embrace

You get better if you learn the signs, you get better if you learn from each ending, and you'll get better once you accept this will always happen.

If a girl told me she loved me then disappeared....she's full of shit. It's that simple. Actions over words.

Quote:I'm aware what I and a cool girl have going on could end at any moment. I'm not talking necessarily about serious relationships, but with some girls, I'd like to keep our mini-relationship going. Then it ends preemptively, either by my doing or hers, or just logistics at the time.

Some girls just want to hop on a dick for awhile then get on a new one, they're afraid of showing their emotions and dip out. It could be numerous things, just remember, you don't know what these hoes are thinking or can do irrationally.

It sounds like you're romanticizing mini LTR's, don't.

Quote:I can't help but think, if only we had been together a few more months before what we had came to a natural conclusion.

My brief experience with game has told me that girls come and go, and that no matter how cool or special this one is, there's another one around the corner, even if it takes a while for you to get there. But you will.

There is no special snowflake, there are girls who are pretty cool, but there's always a girl cooler than her.

Get that pussy off the pedestal.

I don't struggle with it - a man with options can't get hurt by one girl.

This is why I have an LTR and constantly fuck on the side.

-It eases any worries I might have about my LTR
-Keeps my sex drive in top notch shape
-Keeps the pussy off the pedestal
-Keeps my head straight and my "heart" grounded.
-My game doesn't get rusty

I don't think we were born to be monogamous, but I also have no qualms with dudes wanting to be in a monogamous LTR or marriage.

It's just harder and harder to do nowadays.

Post: #10

^ Good post.

Though some of what I said were my thoughts, a lot of it I said just for the sake of discussion.

As much as we know rules likes this one, and getting the pussy off the pedestal, no man is impervious to an occasional lapse.

No matter how good your game is, you're not going to be rock solid all the time.

Even Bond may get the occasional one-itis. Though the difference between him and a lesser player is that he will realize his mistake quicker, fully acknowledge where he could have done better, and learn from it... and he will move on quickly as well.

Post: #11

Most girls have never been rejected or not wanted. If you're able to give her that feeling of emptiness for the first time then you will have her begging for you.

This is my experience

Post: #12

(09-01-2015 04:15 PM)Menace Wrote:  Game immunizes you against the depths of romantic failure (although I believe on the flip side it also immunizes you against the heights of romantic love).

I think that's true for a lot of men. But not Obi Wan Kenobi-level game, where you manage to show to a woman (or anyone, for that matter) that losing something--in this case a quality woman--would be a loss, but that you understand that life is full of loss, and losing every thing is an eventuality. You nod where other men would sob. You haven't crushed down your emotions, you've merely prepared yourself by not living in a fantasy world better suited for women and children.

This, too, can't be faked. It's an internalized belief and posture after having a certain volume of experience with women and, instead of coming out (only) bitter or guarded on the other side, coming out accepting of the circle of life.

(09-01-2015 04:15 PM)Menace Wrote:  We got back together (she's a quality girl in every sense) and she adores me more than ever. Because now she knows what I am made of. The power of no with a woman is a great power.

No is powerful in life. At the risk of sounding new-agey: the more you can do without, the more free you'll be. Really wanting a particular thing can be the biggest burden and distraction you can carry.

Post: #13

(09-01-2015 03:44 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  I don't know if I have this one mastered or not but for me, it's become easier to not become attached to any one woman because I keep working on new prospects. On the flip side I don't know if I will ever truly be able to bond with one woman ever again. I get a kick out of TV shows where a woman is all hung up on "that guy" and everything he does or says to her makes her almost lose her shit. That's not how things are nowadays in my experience. The average woman is more cold and mercenary than the hardest of players in my opinion.

The great Robert Dinero said it best...

Haha that legendary clip is every player's anthem

Post: #14

Whoever needs the other the least, has the power in a relationship. Always need her the least....Sometimes this can be hard if you really like her OR if she continually tries to need you the least! Haha. Then you're in a race to the bottom. The modern sexual market has created a playing field wide open for the more aloof, charmer types. Neediness doesn't fly.

Post: #15

(09-01-2015 05:22 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  No is powerful in life. At the risk of sounding new-agey: the more you can do without, the more free you'll be. Really wanting a particular thing can be the biggest burden and distraction you can carry.

Word

As cheesy as the line is "Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want" it is truth. The art of true appreciation is a subtle one

In all things balance is the key.

Want something (wealth, girls, achievement) too much and you lose sight of everything else you already have.

Want nothing enough and you get overtaken by complacency and do nothing

Balance

Post: #16

It's natural to get all whipped up on a girl. It's also natural for women to be cum-guzzling gutter whores. To change that you have to fight against nature.

Post: #17

Any nigga that says he's ice cold and has never falled or will never fall for a broad is straight up lying.

It happens to the best of us.

Game can help suppress the loss. It's good to have an LTR, just don't stay too attached. As others have said, bang pootang on the side.

This is where most relationships fail, the guy gets too whipped so he stops fucking side pieces. She gets bored as his drive is down or he gets bored with just fucking her, and the "moment" starts dying off. Fucking other bitches keeps this alive.

Practice new shit with club sluts until you do it well, then do it on your main piece. Or as the saying goes "fuck the club slut good, fuck your main girl better"

Post: #18

(09-01-2015 03:34 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  Anyways. How have you guys approached this rule?

What have your experiences been like?

Do you internalize it more, as time goes on?

Do you get better dealing with this harsh nature of the game? Girls come and go. But sometimes it's hard to see a specific one go. And it may not even be a 'breakup', for lack of a better term. She might just disappear out of nowhere without notice, never to be seen again, even when just a week before she told you she loved you during a post-coitus embrace.

What works really well for me is being focused on my long term goals in life.

I was in very similar situation recently with my gf. I had that horrible feeling of potential loss which was bothering me more and more making me forget about other things in my life. It's funny how it can make a man kind of blind. It feels like being trapped in a very small room with that person and being unable to see what's behind the walls. The reality becomes so small.

I got over it by thinking about my future, what I want to do in life, what I want to see, where I want to go, what I working towards, etc, basically getting some perspective and looking at life from bird's view. After that I came back from that weird dream to reality. I realized that it's just one little part of life that people get together and part ways and that the world is bigger than the relationship with this specific person. And after a while I was like "wtf I was thinking?".

That's what worked for me and it worked really well. So yeah I'd recommend to look at your life first and all the good things you shoot for. That's your #1 priority. And a woman can be in your team or not. But thing is it's YOUR team. If she doesn't play according to your plan or straight up doesn't support you then she has to go asap no matter who she is.

Let's get a bit dramatic. I've always loved this video..

Post: #19

^ Right on.

As much as I've disliked ending certain relationships in the past, especially after her pleading me to stay with her, I had bigger things in other areas of my life to move on to.

Post: #20

(09-02-2015 01:56 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(09-01-2015 03:34 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  Anyways. How have you guys approached this rule?

What have your experiences been like?

Do you internalize it more, as time goes on?

Do you get better dealing with this harsh nature of the game? Girls come and go. But sometimes it's hard to see a specific one go. And it may not even be a 'breakup', for lack of a better term. She might just disappear out of nowhere without notice, never to be seen again, even when just a week before she told you she loved you during a post-coitus embrace.

What works really well for me is being focused on my long term goals in life.

I was in very similar situation recently with my gf. I had that horrible feeling of potential loss which was bothering me more and more making me forget about other things in my life. It's funny how it can make a man kind of blind. It feels like being trapped in a very small room with that person and being unable to see what's behind the walls. The reality becomes so small.

I got over it by thinking about my future, what I want to do in life, what I want to see, where I want to go, what I working towards, etc, basically getting some perspective and looking at life from bird's view. After that I came back from that weird dream to reality. I realized that it's just one little part of life that people get together and part ways and that the world is bigger than the relationship with this specific person. And after a while I was like "wtf I was thinking?".

That's what worked for me and it worked really well. So yeah I'd recommend to look at your life first and all the good things you shoot for. That's your #1 priority. And a woman can be in your team or not. But thing is it's YOUR team. If she doesn't play according to your plan or straight up doesn't support you then she has to go asap no matter who she is.

Let's get a bit dramatic. I've always loved this video..

Powerful video, so much of what we do here lies in overcoming ego which is rooted in fear. In relationships it really comes down to her knowing that a break up means freedom for you and sadness for her. As long as both parties know this then taking a loss will never be a sweat.

Post: #21

Similar to the OP.
What surprises me about this article, is not so much the level headed content.
Rather, that although not as worthwhile as the works of Roosh/Roissy/Rollo.
For a 'mainstream' outlet, it's still rather practical & could well get a blue-pill guy to see the errors in his ways.

(It's one of those damned slide show articles so I'll just put all the content here).

http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dating-...-your-time

10 signs she's not worth your time.

Romantic encounters can last until "death do you part"…or, alternatively, one night. But for lengths of time in between, your goal is to separate the girl who should stay from the rest who should go. To help you weed out the bad seeds, our experts break down the actions that signify she’s simply not worth your time. Wouldn’t you rather hit the gym or hang with the guys than put up with this BS? Yeah, us too.

1. It's always about her.
You got a promotion (score!), and your lady wants to talk about the Kardashians. Sound familiar? When you’re excited about work or life goals, but she’s switching the subject to involve her interests, she doesn’t care about you. “This is a sure sign she is selfish,” says Jonathan Alpert, psychotherapist and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. “If this is the case then jump ship now, and save yourself the trouble of being involved with someone who isn't caring.” (Hint: If she gives a damn, she’ll ask follow-up questions).

2. You have different values.
Opposites attract, but not when it comes to values and world views. As a die-hard Yankees fan, overcoming her love for the Red Sox might be sports suicide. But other issues prove to be more problematic, like ”if you have different religions and this can't be reconciled, or if you have different ways of managing money and expenses,” says Alpert, who insists these dissimilarities can lead to complications.

3. She's too busy.
Work can be demanding, family matters need attention, and errands must be run, but if the lady in your life is constantly MIA, it’s time to break it off. “When a woman is interested in a man, she makes time for him,” says Brooke Carsner, owner of Intuitive Matchmaking. “When there is always some other person, some event, some commitment that is taking up more of her time, that is a clear indication that you are not as high on her priority list.”

4. She name drops her ex.
It’s bad enough to hear about one ex-file, but an entire encyclopedia worth of info? No thanks. “This means that she has not grieved him, and you are in danger of being the rebound boyfriend,” says Todd Creager, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “She is using you to escape her pain, rather than choosing you out of desire.” Getting a little history on her most recent relationship, to gauge if enough time has passed since her ex, is acceptable, as it’s important to ensure she’s had space to be alone.

5. Initiating contact is one sided.
Women appreciate men who make the first move, but if she’s legitimately interested, she will reach out in due time. “There should be a balance of communication initiation by both parties if there is truly attraction and mutual interest,” says Barbie Adler, founder and president of Selective Search, a professional matchmaking service. “Communication is a two-way street.”

6. The relationship is hot & cold.
Kind of like that overplayed Katy Perry song, but in real life. She’s nice and then not-so-much—and it’s always your fault. That’s not fun. “Some women have been socialized to believe that they have to torment a man before he’ll value her, says Judith A. Swack, a relationship specialist at the Boston Center for Adult Education. She explains the flawed thought process: “If he puts up with her and stays with her, it proves that he’s the right man.” Don’t put up with the games—unless you like to lose

7. She's changed since you started dating.
Oh, that awkward moment you realize your "hockey-loving" lady friend doesn’t know what a puck is. “Most people start out a relationship trying to be on their best behavior. If your girlfriend was putting on an act to get you to like her, she won’t be able to keep it up,” says Swack. “Eventually her true personality will come out. Don’t keep hoping that her act was the real her and wait for her to bring it back.”

8. You aren't your best self with her.
If her habits make you want to scream, she points out your flaws, and she brings you down, she isn’t going to help you grow. “If you fight a lot and feel irritable, drained, defensive and never good enough, she’s not for you,” says Swack. The point is to be happy. “When the first thing out of her mouth is a complaint, [you] begin to dread what she has to say," adds Risky Listing realtor Jason Lewis.

9. The damsel in distress needs a saviour.
Feeling like Superman can be a rush, but it’s not your job to save her from her own problems. “If you meet someone who acts helpless, needy, and dependent or is wounded or mentally ill, she needs support and therapy,” says Swack. “As much as you may like the idea of being her hero, that kind of relationship is not really a partnership, and gets old really fast.”

10. She's unfaithful.
Game over. Time to move on—ASAP. “There can be no love without trust. Biologically, human beings pair bond for life,” says Swack. “If she cheats on you, the trauma is so bad that it will break the connection.”

Post: #22

(09-01-2015 04:37 PM)realologist Wrote:  I think it's very important to be able to walk out on a woman at any time when she crosses the line.

I think this is especially important for newbies to help avoid oneitis.

After that stage is over and men start to get a larger quantity of women and they have no issues getting laid they should shift their focus. It should shift towards a balance of quality and quantity. I think the best thing is to build strong relationships with all the women you fuck with but always have the ability to drop them.

Having some kind of connection with all the women in your stable at the time will make a better quality and longer lasting. The connection doesn't have to even be close to love but you should enjoy spending time together.

These women will feel the stronger connection as well and put more into the sex and do more for you. They will usually start to expect a relationship and more defined means. Which they may drop you or you can drop them if they keep pushing too much.

This also leaves average dudes and newbies vulnerable because that connection may be too much for them. They can't keep the willing to drop at a moment and end up too involved with these women and develop oneitis.

100% agree particularly on the bold. If a woman I am dating, or meeting up with does something that shows she is not worth it, I will throw the towel in very early. Its great to do this. I had a girl flake on me who I've been sort of seeing and slowly developing something with. The next day I said to her very neutrally that I was no longer interested in meeting her, and feels great to have those kind of personal boundaries.

She crossed the line, and my interest levels completely dropped off after that. Its the difference between wanting women to validate you, and being more in tune with how you wanted to be treated and what kind of woman you want around you.

Start cutting communication and telling women that you are no longer interested in seeing them after they crossed a line and you start to develop this boldness, this feeling that you are not going to settle for a woman that will flake on you or play games etc.

Post: #23

(09-02-2015 06:35 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  It's natural to get all whipped up on a girl. It's also natural for women to be cum-guzzling gutter whores. To change that you have to fight against nature.

Three sentences that fall with the heft of absolute and irrefutable truth.

Post: #24

"Why give her your heart when she would prefer a purse". Lil Wayne

Post: #25

(09-01-2015 03:34 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  Do you get better dealing with this harsh nature of the game? Girls come and go. But sometimes it's hard to see a specific one go. And it may not even be a 'breakup', for lack of a better term. She might just disappear out of nowhere without notice, never to be seen again, even when just a week before she told you she loved you during a post-coitus embrace.

I'm aware what I and a cool girl have going on could end at any moment.

Why could it end at any moment? Do you suck or something? lol.

If you were a movie star, rich guy, or some high-value ( to HER ) guy, would she be leaving at any moment? i don't think so. Are you that replaceable? Maybe you are, to HER. In which case I'd choose carefully. Know your value, know when you're out of your league, if you want to shoot out of your league, then just do it for sport..if you start getting feelings, you might be in for a shock when the competition starts showing up.

Understand what she's attracted to, and ultimately looking for. Maybe she's attracted to you, but wants kids, and you don't want kids, so she's all in love but knows that ultimately you don't want kids. If she's attractive she can replace you in a month or two. If you're a great provider but are not attractive, that's over. If you have both qualities but there's five other guys who also offer her close to the same thing, get ready to make some concessions.

Don't be easily replaceable, and understand when you are, and protect yourself.