Post: #26

At the end of the day this is not a bad thing. You learn a lot about yourself after a break up, and you will get a new girl. Getting over the first girl is always a big deal, but after that it becomes breezy.

I have one method that works particularly well for me and a few, especially if you are a proud person.

Try filming yourself these days during depression. Or record. Then after a few days of filming/recording have a proper sit down and look and listen to that data.

It will probably be uncomfortable but the misery of your situation, seen from a 3rd person perspective, might kick your ego and your rationale brain enough to make you say "Fuck this shit" and forget about this girl.

If it helps, remember that while you are hanging around being depressed, she is getting hardcore sex with random rebound guys. You and everyone here know that for a fact. Channel that anger into energy to approach/gym/hobby whatever and reap the benefits.

Post: #27

I kind of hate to derail the thread over a guy's mental state, but OP for a guy who has been reading the forum for two years apparently.

Why are you using text speak occasionally? I would honestly try to write everything out as you will get banned for using it frequently.

Post: #28

(08-24-2015 05:36 AM)Ruivinho Wrote:  Cheers for all the feedback and relatable advice guys!
I'm gonna start working out everyday from home atm until I am in a settled position where i can join a gym. Learning to cook could be good actually. I'll give it a shot.

Also bit on info on the side. I woke up this morning feeling depressed again and I realised that I havent masturbated in like 2 weeks.. I didnt feel like jacking off but i opened up xvideos and what do u know.. I've jacked off easy enough. The stress and depression got released. Masturbation really does get rid of stress. Maybe not perminantly but atleast for the time when you're feeling it.
Some of you guys might be into the no fap groups and I have looked into it myself. It really did become an addiction in my life before like a month ago when i stopped fapping for prolonged periods.

My other problem rn is figuring out what i wanna do in my life or atm anyway. Summer is almost ended. My plan of going to university in Lebanon is dead. I don't even feel like i want to go university anyway. I wanna be in a city socializing though and i know university would make that happen. At the moment im just an only child stuck in my moms house in the suburbs with nothing to do and no friends around cause they're all at their university's in different areas of the country.
I need to make a change but time goes fast and its stressing me out a bit not knowing what i wanna do. Before i got in a relationship i wanted to travel brazil for a year but now that desire feels dead. I actually loved my time in the middle east and the nighlife and social aspect. I feel kinda pissed that I cant go now because of her.

I know I'm someone that loves to travel and meet new people though so im quite motivated to start learning a language. Im thinking of trying to learn arabic. super interesting language and will blow people away to see a white euopean guy speaking it.

You were gonna go to a Lebanese university not because you thought this was part of the Grand Plan of a man's life, but because you were following a woman like a dog. No wonder she lost all respect for you and could not bear the sight of you anymore.

You dogged a bullet. Thank her later for killing a plan that ultimately would have lead to infinitely more pain than you are experiencing now.

Post: #29

(08-26-2015 07:25 PM)OneEyedMonk Wrote:  

(08-24-2015 05:36 AM)Ruivinho Wrote:  Cheers for all the feedback and relatable advice guys!
I'm gonna start working out everyday from home atm until I am in a settled position where i can join a gym. Learning to cook could be good actually. I'll give it a shot.

Also bit on info on the side. I woke up this morning feeling depressed again and I realised that I havent masturbated in like 2 weeks.. I didnt feel like jacking off but i opened up xvideos and what do u know.. I've jacked off easy enough. The stress and depression got released. Masturbation really does get rid of stress. Maybe not perminantly but atleast for the time when you're feeling it.
Some of you guys might be into the no fap groups and I have looked into it myself. It really did become an addiction in my life before like a month ago when i stopped fapping for prolonged periods.

My other problem rn is figuring out what i wanna do in my life or atm anyway. Summer is almost ended. My plan of going to university in Lebanon is dead. I don't even feel like i want to go university anyway. I wanna be in a city socializing though and i know university would make that happen. At the moment im just an only child stuck in my moms house in the suburbs with nothing to do and no friends around cause they're all at their university's in different areas of the country.
I need to make a change but time goes fast and its stressing me out a bit not knowing what i wanna do. Before i got in a relationship i wanted to travel brazil for a year but now that desire feels dead. I actually loved my time in the middle east and the nighlife and social aspect. I feel kinda pissed that I cant go now because of her.

I know I'm someone that loves to travel and meet new people though so im quite motivated to start learning a language. Im thinking of trying to learn arabic. super interesting language and will blow people away to see a white euopean guy speaking it.

You were gonna go to a Lebanese university not because you thought this was part of the Grand Plan of a man's life, but because you were following a woman like a dog. No wonder she lost all respect for you and could not bear the sight of you anymore.

You dogged a bullet. Thank her later for killing a plan that ultimately would have lead to infinitely more pain than you are experiencing now.

Listen to this man

Post: #30

Hankmoody,
You're story gives me hope right now at 35 as I get divorced from my 15 year oneitis. How old were you when you divorced and what age women were/are you gaming as I feel really old all of a sudden when I go out to bars ( mostly alone atm as friends are all married)

SB

Post: #31

Hey, it's really not advocated here, buuuut

200 dollars and backpage.com could get you laid tonight. The confidence from that could get you laud tomorrow.

The herpes could get you sued forever. Totally worth it, pull the trigger.

Post: #32

I recently got out of a 4 year LTR, the last year of which I spent engaged and living with my ex. Needless to say our future wasn't quite going the direction either of us wanted and things ended abruptly.

It's going to be a bit different for every situation (and for other men) but it took me over 6 months to completely "get over her" - far longer than I wanted or expected. I was in a similar state. Depressed, hopeless, unmotivated. When you spend a large amount of time with a woman, regardless of how you initially feel about her or where you want things to go, men tend to develop very strong bonds. We get protective, we care, we want the best for that other person. When things end, those feelings don't simply disappear. Ripping apart and destroying those bonds can be extremely painful, and it affects every man a bit differently. Your first inclination (even with a mastery of game) might be to try to "win" her back, it's natural to not want to see things end. The first step to getting over it is to accept (not just think) that it is over and that you are moving on. Easier said than done.

We men like to play the "I don't give a fuck" card but the truth is we know and have to acknowledge that we are often sensitive creatures who do get bent out of shape over dumb shit sometimes. For example when a serious relationships ends or a girl we care about cheats on us. It's easy to pretend you don't give a shit but it takes real grit to admit those truths to yourself. Forget everyone else, it's none of their business.

At the end of the day the most important thing you can do is to keep telling yourself it's over and nothing you can do will change that. You will be a better man for it and any time spent thinking about the old flame should be considered wasted time. Trust me, once you have moved on and started seeing other women those old feelings and memories will start to fade. It takes time and it takes a dedicated effort to finding other women to occupy yourself with. Hell, I still think about my ex everyday, even if it's just a fleeting thought or a split second, a momentary lapse of reality. You'll find yourself comparing current women to the old and thinking about the "what ifs". It's futile. Forget it. The best thing you can do as a man is to chalk it up to the game, glean from the best lessons in this experience and use them to improve yourself. Become a better version of yourself, and move on.

Ultimately, you want to use this to avoid making the same mistakes again. The key is to not live in denial and to first admit the truth to yourself, only then can you start the recovery process. Just make sure you've cut off all contact.

Post: #33

To me this relationship had no chance from the start not only you did you visit her but you were constantly giving her validation-buying clothes and paying for expensive restaurants. She set the frame for the relationship right from the start and you played the role she assigned you. I honestly think she's not a virgin and has probably done this to other foreigners-Aussie guy.

Post: #34

Hey OP, we have all been there and I will tell you this - you are lucky this happened to you when you were 19 and that you've found this forum at such a young age. I've been through all that bullshit with women and I cannot even fathom how different my life would be if I found this forum at 19. Obviously you still have a lot to learn (as do all of us) but if you start self-improving and educating yourself now on game you're going to be a raging bull by the time you hit your mid 20s.

You dodged a bullet on this one - a long distance relationship is no place for a healthy, self-improving young man. Not to mention she had you on a string, flying across the world to see her and buying her gifts. Regardless of what the movies tell you that is not how it's supposed to be. Just remember that this is a good thing - we all need to suffer that teenage heartbreak to find this place and understand why we're here. Luckily for you you actually suffered it in your teens - not at 28.

Good luck to you and keep moving forward - you're in the right place.

Post: #35

update on this.

I'm in a lot better place in terms of my mental state than when i wrote this post.
It really does get better with time..

I channeled all my anxiety and stress about her into working out and I'm now 4 weeks into a 6 days a week calisthenics workout programme that I love. My body is the best I've ever seen it. If my results after 4 weeks are this good, I cant wait to see my body in 1 year from now!

I follow a strict diet and i joined a cross fit gym in my local town. I got speaking to the guy who owns the gym and has been a personal trainer at top gyms in London and around Europe for over 20 years. He's let me shadow his day to day activities on personal training and showed me a fast-track course to become a certified personal trainer with a good education in physiology and nutrition which I have enrolled at for evening classes at a local town college.
I will be certified by June from this course and until then I will of gained quite a bit of experience in the gym environment.

I'm also earning money by helping a family friend who has his own business fitting kitchens and bathrooms. He pays me pretty well and I'm learning alot of decent labor skills that would be useful for the future, Since I plan to go into real estate investing along the line too.

I stopped contacting my ex completely and I deleted my facebook for a while. After a few weeks she messaged my phone and asked what im up to and why im not on facebook. We talked like normal friends, no flirting, no coldness either though.
It seems she has removed her resentment from me which makes me feel better about myself atleast.
I also noticed she gained weight since we broke up. Must of stopped going gym completely and started eating shit.
Its funny how her breaking up with me fucked me up mentally but I seem to have come away from this situation in a much better physical condition than her.

Also to those who were saying she had me on a leash buying her things. You have to take into account the cultural aspect here.
In Lebanon gift culture is huge! If you visit someones house and don't bring a gift, Its very disrespectful to them.
(I learnt this the hard way)

I was splitting the costs with her for meals and cabs when I first got there and when her mum found out this, she took me into a room and lectured me in a the friendliest way she could that it just is not acceptable to do this in Lebanon.

Having said all this I really do miss Lebanon as a country and would love to go back there and meet more hot girls there. I met loads of cool Lebanese people which I wont lose contact with over this breakup.

I still think about her in small relapses everyday like Gmac mentioned. I don't expect that to go away, but its not like it affects me massively on what I do. I have started to be able to look at other girls now and have interest which I just could not fathom before.

Post: #36

OP hows it going

Post: #37

(11-30-2015 12:01 AM)offthereservation Wrote:  OP hows it going

Update,

Everything is great actually. I feel like my life has improved tenfold and my mental stability and vision for what I want in my life has become alot clearer.

I unfollowed her from Instagram about 2 months ago which helped a lot because I wasn't seeing what was going on in her life.
Some people say when you break up. It becomes a competition of who is living the more awesome life post breakup..
Well I can guarantee I've completely blown her out the water in that competition.

While she has literally done nothing since the break up apart from getting chubbier.
I on the other hand now have an aesthetic physique, a friends with benefits situation with a rich girl that has an unbelievable ass, a clear perspective on my life and my goals, clearer skin (something that has always hindered my confidence, although it was only minor acne) and much more.

I had some good karma come my way about a month by winning almost £2,000! Crazy i know!

With that money I went for a 1 week relaxing vacation to the Domincan Republic. Then the week after I got back to the UK, I stayed a week at my friends apartment in Central London. Fine dined and went shopping pretty much everyday.

Of course I made sure my life was on social media during all this and funnily enough guess who popped up on my whatsapp last week..

Her apology message was laughable! It ended with "God be with you"
She really is a childish little whore

She proceeded to message me several times over the past week. Started asking questions about who I'm seeing and what I'm doing. I kept it blunt but made sure she was jealous and left subtle hints of *my new girl I'm seeing is way better than you*.

Something else that made me laugh..
When I asked what she has been doing with her life since the break up,
She told me she was sooo busy nowaways,
going out all the time with all her "cool new friends".. Friends? lol this bitch couldn't keep any female friends in the past!

If she REALLY is sooo busy like she said, I wonder how she found the time to text her ex(me) each evening..
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Post: #38

Dope that you've managed to do better, awesome job. What're your future plans for work and girls?

Post: #39

(11-30-2015 05:15 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  Dope that you've managed to do better, awesome job. What're your future plans for work and girls?

I'm retaking some of my high school exams to try and get better grades.
Then fingers crossed, get into a top univerity either here in the UK or in Scandinavia.

In terms of girls. Not looking for a relationship at all. Too much commitment for now and they leech your money. I got a FWB situation with this really cool chick though. She wanted to date me but I convinced her to stay friends and she took it well and she doesn't mind being FWB.

Post: #40

Nothing will pure depression like some fresh pussy.