Post: #1

This may seem like an odd topic to bring up. But I'm beginning to think it sometimes happens. I believe that men actually do shit-test other men, and it happened a few times recently.

About a month ago, I was out at one of the local kava bars. A girl works there who really enjoys her job and is very nice to everyone. I compliment her attitude and her work ethic a lot. I walked out one evening and heard a voice call my name. I turned around to talk to this guy.

The guy proceeded to tell me that he was her boy friend and that he didn't appreciate all the nice things I said to her. He also said that I shouldn't talk about other things with her.

In another case, I was at the gym. I was sitting on a bench, and a guy approached me out of nowhere. He first said something like: "Can my girl friend work out?"

"What?" I said.

"You keep staring at my girl friend," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Of course, I didn't even know that this guy's girl friend existed until he said something to me. I think he could tell that I was rather annoyed with the conversation and didn't really appreciate my routine being interrupted over something as idiotic as this. I finally did look over, and his girl friend wasn't even particularly attractive.

I've noticed that shit-testing happens a whole lot at the gym. The amount of people there who seem to be looking for fights is definitely higher than average.

The other thing in many of these cases is that the guys are thinking with their dicks instead of their brains. In both cases, it was defending the girl friend from an imagined attack.

What's the best way to deal with shit tests from other men?

Post: #2

Id ignore them or fuck with them.

With the first guy, why not? Do you think she's ugly or something? Or what? You trying to keep her self esteem low so she won't leave ya?

And watch his face turn red as he backpeddles.


Gym dude, yeah youre right, your gf definitely needs to work out more.

Post: #3

He sounds like a white knight for his girlfriend.

Post: #4

I've had this happen to me at the bar, on the street, and on campus. Think of Little Dark and start trolling.

My favorite method is to keep asking him which one is his friend/girlfriend. When he points her out, look disappointed and say "No, that can't be it" and ask him again. Ask him if he is sure that's the right girl. He'll get frustrated and leave with his hamster sprinting.

Post: #5

I have definitely seen men abandond their girls at the bar for a time to see who comes by to talk to them. Then guys comes back to tell the intruder to shove off with a huge smirk going on.
Mate guarding will eventually blow up in their face.

Post: #6

Build social proof around yourself with the crowd and you can say practically anything. I've told dudes they're acting like white knights right in front of their girls, and bouncers have had my back. It's all about the crowd. Just troll them, but be careful. New Mexico is a dangerous land for this and I have years of experience, but as long as you hold alpha frame with the group, you'll be good.

Post: #7

Men don't shit test. Especially at the gym. You are doing something wrong if this happens on a regular basis.

Post: #8

Yeah I would have to completely disagree with the gym one. Even when I'm at gyms where I am one of the smallest guys there, I've never felt like guys were trying to fuck with me. I think maybe this is a self-esteem or body language issue on your end.

Post: #9

Most guys at the gym have been rather affable to me. There's only one time where some asshole looking guy made a snippy remark when I asked him if I could work in on bench. He said: "YOU can bench that?" I then told him: "oh i see! You were trying to crack a joke! Ya man you're a real funny guy." I was going to make fun of the size of his legs but I decided that would likely escalate the situation so I left it at that.

But for the most part, even the "douche bag" looking guys are pretty decent at the gym.

Post: #10

I think the proper term is "drunk on pussy."
Insecure gammas who feel the need to mate-guard the pussy they're all too lucky to have.

They can be complete strangers, or tight friends who, once they get some snatch in their circle, throw their friends under the bus.
["I have a girlfriend now, you fags."]

This used to be just a high school thing, but now one can see it across the social castes, from passive-aggressive hipsters to frat boys over-compensating with their companions in a constant "headlock" hug.

Ridicule usually works, especially at him in front of her.

Post: #11

I have had similar things happen a couple of times, mostly at parties or shows where I was a bit out of my element. The last time this happened, I was in Denver at a rooftop EDM thing teeming with hipsters. I was chatting with a chick about random bullshit related to living in the city like public transportation and museums, you know, real panty-dropping stuff, when some guy standing next to me spun around and yelled something like "she doesn't know shit about insurance!" in my face. The girl looked really embarrassed. I just laughed, wished them a good evening, and excused myself. In my opinion the best way to deal with shit like this is to always take the moral high ground.

Post: #12

For the gym situation I'd say "man your girl's not even my type, homie". If she overhears that, all the better.

To most guy shit tests I use the good old Heartiste response: "is that a come on? I'm not into that gay shit, man."

Post: #13

Men do shit test other men but it's in a different way.

We can size a guy up pretty quick by watching how he reacts to various remarks and how he interpenetrates criticisms. If you're uptight you'll be defensive or try a little bit too hard to gain respect and end up being the guy who no one takes seriously.

I don't get caught out often, but my boss is a very quick witted natural Alpha and he got two of us at the same time. The scenario - this other guy smashed a component off an excavator and while talking to him he blamed me for its failure in a sarcastic tone since I installed said component. I immediately jumped to my own defense (not a very sound reaction) even though it was obvious he was joking and indirectly blaming the other guy. He was testing me and I failed. But this is how you learn.

Post: #14

This is just a symptom of the degradation of society and culture.

People are insecure and have no confidence in themselves or their lives, and they are unconsciously trying to self sooth by making themselves feel better at the expense of a stranger.

It is lowest common denominator behavior. They are aping the constant threat mentality of street culture to feel tough, continually scanning their environment looking for something to throw a passive aggressive fit about. Grievance collectors.

Unlike true street toughs, they don't REALLY want to have to back up what they are saying with violence, so they pick someone who they know isn't really invested in whatever is going on. They don't walk up to a biker preening next to his hog and ask him who the fuck he thinks he is.

No.

They will pick someone casually making conversation, or glancing around a room, someone who will be surprised to be accused of anything, not someone who is looking for trouble. They will interpret your surprise as fear, and swagger away the conqueror from a needless confrontation that had no reason for being in the first place. The Reigning Champion of the Sad Little Victory.

Don't think it should be called a shit test, that murks up the term. AMOG maybe.

Just laugh good naturedly, or say, "no problem, have a great day," and don't worry about it. These people are losers who act the way they do because they have nothing to do and are looking for meaning in their empty lives by creating drama out of nothing.

A lot like the SJWs when you think about it.

Post: #15

The examples that puckerman gave sound more like jealousy coming out than shit testing to me. Guys shit test each other to see who they can depend on, insults and rougher teasing to see who throws it back and who folds under pressure. It's similar to what girls do actually, to see who's gonna be a valuable teammate.

Generation kill had a segment on it where one of the guys talked about how they would use everything they could to insult each other, kind of a mental strength test. I don't remember exactly but I think it was after one of the episodes during the credits.

Post: #16

The gym is filled with the most insecure people you'll meet out there.

Far more prevalent is the man that thinks he is unimpressive and is trying to look better (for the women, not for himself) than the confident man that is simply there to maintain or build on his appearance.

Post: #17

(08-22-2015 09:17 PM)puckerman Wrote:  "You keep staring at my girl friend," he said.

What's the best way to deal with shit tests from other men?

I usually fuck around with these kinds of people. They are just displaying their insecurities because maybe SHE was showing interest or staring at you.

Him: You keep staring at my girlfriend.
Me: Yea, she seems like a decent piece of pussy.

Him: You keep staring at my girlfriend.
Me: What girlfriend?
Him: *Points to her.*
Me: I was wondering where the fishy smell was coming from.

Him: You keep staring at my girlfriend.
Me: Hard to not notice her looking at me with those 'fuck me' eyes.

I can get away with saying stupid things because I'm usually bigger than the person talking crap. But, me acting like a retard only comes out if I'm drinking a lot or pissed off.

Post: #18

(08-22-2015 09:17 PM)puckerman Wrote:  This may seem like an odd topic to bring up. But I'm beginning to think it sometimes happens. I believe that men actually do shit-test other men, and it happened a few times recently.

About a month ago, I was out at one of the local kava bars. A girl works there who really enjoys her job and is very nice to everyone. I compliment her attitude and her work ethic a lot. I walked out one evening and heard a voice call my name. I turned around to talk to this guy.

The guy proceeded to tell me that he was her boy friend and that he didn't appreciate all the nice things I said to her. He also said that I shouldn't talk about other things with her.

In another case, I was at the gym. I was sitting on a bench, and a guy approached me out of nowhere. He first said something like: "Can my girl friend work out?"

"What?" I said.

"You keep staring at my girl friend," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Of course, I didn't even know that this guy's girl friend existed until he said something to me. I think he could tell that I was rather annoyed with the conversation and didn't really appreciate my routine being interrupted over something as idiotic as this. I finally did look over, and his girl friend wasn't even particularly attractive.

I've noticed that shit-testing happens a whole lot at the gym. The amount of people there who seem to be looking for fights is definitely higher than average.

The other thing in many of these cases is that the guys are thinking with their dicks instead of their brains. In both cases, it was defending the girl friend from an imagined attack.

What's the best way to deal with shit tests from other men?

These were classic opportunities to work on your frame.

Situation #1: You could have gone with something to the effect of if she does not like the compliments and conversation as much, she is an adult and can let me know own herself. That said, you do need to have a good feel on how much this chick is into you or not. I would ignore a clown like that. He could fight me at his own risk or peril as far as I am concerned. The reason to not concede to this dickhead's demand is for masculine frame purposes. It's more about you than him or her. As long as your safety is not an issue, never let another dude talk to you like that.

I tend to use alot of humor but if you go these routes, be able to back it up physically, and send the same vibe back that they may not want any part of you. I think I would have told the first guy either:

1. Aww that's cute. How long have you two been friends like this?
2. You do not seem very confident in your relationship. I feel bad for you bro. I don't think you have her under your control as well as you think you do. (be ready to cut her loose if you say shit like that)
3. Oh my bad bro, I did not see an engagement ring or any diamonds on her hand. (The nicest way to jab back without souring the well with her.)
4. If you are really the man in that relationship, you should be telling her what your rules are. You are barking up the wrong tree.
5. What are you going to do about it? Seems like you are the bitch in that relationship. You cannot control another man, you better control your bitch. (Talk like this if you can back it up physically)

Situation #2:

1. I thought she was your mother. I was trying to figure out how old she was when she had you.
2. Shake your head at him very slowly with the "I don't know you man, don't talk to me as if you know me." eye stare. (You may even want to say too.)
3. A simple cold looking eye stare with no response at all until he shuts up.
4. If she works out with me, you won't get her back. Is that alright with you?
5. Oh. Yeah she does have a nice ass (lie). (He might laugh it up and after some chit chat, he will go away) (If he gets upset, see #1-4)



If at any point, these kinds of clowns say some shit like, "What?!" or "What did you just say?" or any kind of response like that, you better reply back, "Hey, you came at me straight up, I'm gonna be straight up with you back."

Also, Puckerman you should take a long examination about your own vibe, frame, image, posture, the way you carry yourself, your weaknesses as well. You may be giving off a vibe that you are soft. No dude in their right mind fucks with other men that look like they could kill them. Guys pick on skinny jeans wearing dudes with effeminate vibes all the time. Maybe you are a pretty boy, I don't know but you need to use a tall mirror and check out what your posture looks like or maybe work on a plan to add more muscle especially around your chest, shoulders, thighs, and back areas. If you are not very tall or domineering in your stature, you may need to compensate it. Consider taking up a good martial art or boxing as well. That builds confidence that you will not pay attention to, because it will be part of who you are, because of what you could do to a motherfucker. Men have to have their own version of wolf piss. Alpha is not just 100% state of mind. You have to be willing to show it or demonstrate it, to go along with the mindset.

Also don't give women too many compliments at all, especially Western women. Too much of that shit gives off beta orbiter vibe, which is what gave him the impression he could come follow you outside and fuck with you like that. He had absolutely no fear of you at all. There is a reason why a guy she might meet on day 1 could get her phone number and smash her regardless of what you two do. He is insecure, you might be an orbiter, which means she still has availability dating wise. If any woman requires more than a week of flirting or gaming techniques, she needs to be put on ignore status, or next'd. They always come back if they really liked you. Might take a week, maybe 6 years. I got a ex-gf on my facebook trying to friend me that I dumped and ignored more years than that. Fuck em. The stronger your indifference to any women or men, the more intrigued they get.

Post: #19

(08-22-2015 09:17 PM)puckerman Wrote:  I believe that men actually do shit-test other men, and it happened a few times recently.

Men shit test men a lot, but the examples you gave are not shit tests. A shit test would be when someone is

• testing another person
• whether that person can stand up for himself, or is a pushover
• using some irrelevant shit as the basis of the test
  

In the examples you gave, the guys did not want to test what you are about. They were actually thinking you are a threat to their relationship (when people are very insecure, even the presence of another male is threatening) and wanted to scare you away or establish a boundary.

A guy shit testing another guy in the gym would go more like this:

• A asks B whether he still needs the 25kg-dumbbell
• B says "no, but you sure it's the right weight for you?", looks at A dismissively
• A answers "It's not the right weight, I just use them for my warm up"
  

After an exchange like that, both guys would ususally laugh - B has established that A is not an overly sensitive pushover that he would have to walk on eggshells around.

I had a story similar to yours happen to me:
When I was at a big swing dancing festival in Cracow last year, I was talking to two ukrainian women in the kitchen of the hostel I was staying at. They were laughing and having fun when suddenly a short asian guy came into the kitchen real quick, stared me point-blank in the eyes and asked "WHAT'S UP?!" in an inadequately loud way. It was clear he didn't want to join the conversation... Then he grabbed one of the girls and literally pulled her out of the kitchen. The other girl, her friend, was extremely embarassed and said something along the ways of "It's because he's short" It turned out he was the main DJ of the Dragon Swing festival, "Shorty George" (very aptly named) and the girl he pulled away was his girlfriend.

When I told this story to a friend, I called it "short man syndrome", but I think the term that debeguiled used is much better, because short man syndrome is a little too specific:

(08-23-2015 12:35 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  They are aping the constant threat mentality of street culture to feel tough, continually scanning their environment looking for something to throw a passive aggressive fit about.

In their minds, they really are living under the constant threat of having their girlfriends "stolen" by the "bad other men". When your thoughts revolve around this a lot, it will manifest itself in erratic behaviour like the examples you wrote about.

Post: #20

I just ignore and distance myself from shit testing men. It is bad enough when women do it. I dont have time to pass another man's shit test. I ban trolls in real life.

Post: #21

(08-23-2015 02:38 PM)Pride male Wrote:  I just ignore and distance myself from shit testing men. It is bad enough when women do it. I dont have time to pass another man's shit test. I ban trolls in real life.

Just like this behaviour can not be called "shit testing", "trolling" is also the wrong word for these situations.
Trolling would be when it is done out of boredom, cattiness or as a joke.

Real life trolling would be something like you walking around with your mother, and asking men aggressively "YOU LOOKING AT MY GIRLFRIEND?"

Post: #22

When this happens, I usually look at them, let out a corner smile for 2 seconds, don't say anything, and then continue whatever I was doing.

Post: #23

Even the thread title sounds gay.

Guys who do this in front of women are insecure, and women are pre-programmed to see through that kind of bullshit immediately. His girl will be easier to steal if you want her.

Post: #24

Uhhhh. Those are fighting words. Just get in their face and ask if they have a problem. If so, deal accordingly. These guys are trying to bully you and act tough for their gf. Don't let them get away with it. I'm not a "tough guy" but I wouldn't put up with that garbage.

Post: #25

Caveat: if you haven't ever been in an "altercation" and the dude is a foot taller and outweighs you by 50lbs that may not be such a good idea. Common sense....