Post: #51

This thread is some good therapy...

A question I've had come to mind recently which relates to this thread:

Let's say you go through your laundry machine of whores, tumbling and tumbling with whores who you game, some leave, some join the laundry machine....but then that one comes along that you care about...what do you do? Do you cut off your whores? Do you put your focus on the one? Do you use a different style of game on the good one? I mean most of you will say no, but sometimes I see people arguing for SNL and 0-date bangs, and that's not the kind of game you should really go forth with for the girl you really want...anyways, if you did succeed in a SNL or 0-date bang, you would probably lose serious interest for her (as you rightfully should for either that she was willing to give it up easily, or that you fooled her and worked again yourself)

You cannot ever cut your bullpen and focus all on one, I've made that mistake before - but it's a paradox, because a girl at one point will not want you to be whoring around yourself, but if you don't whore around, you put too much focus on the one girl which scares her away to begin with, so it's almost as if she wants you to whore around.

I hope what I just wrote above makes sense.

Post: #52

(08-13-2015 05:36 PM)Samseau Wrote:  You are incorrect, but moreso: who cares if you have those feelings? That shit is for woman. Far more important to find a good woman than a woman you have a strong infatuation for. Remember the most important qualities: flexible, giving, and loyal.

I guarantee you that if you kept seeing this girl for 3-4 years you would feel far more strongly for her.

But you know if you get the one you have infatuation for, you'll have a crazy intense relationship, high possibility of crazy sex, and just high general intensity....of course, she might be the worst fucking girl for you on logical reasons

Post: #53

(08-14-2015 09:34 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  ...

I dont know if its actually really good to feeling like you are in love. You are anxious all the fucking time, you cant concentrate, your ass is always on fire, and no matter how hard you try your frame got flushed down the toilet. You are not yourself when you are not around the person. At that time I thought it was the best feeling in the world, but right now looking back its just me being plain naive and gullible. All those feelings, now that I look at it its fucking silly and unproductive.

...

It maybe because I'm discovering that girls are all replaceable. At any rate, we man dont need love in order to fully appreciate a woman. She gives you love, you give her fun, security, resources and commitment. Sounds healthier to me than falling head over heels for a woman that will eventually ditch you.

A lot of truth in this here. Being downhill looking up at someone you are infatuated with is pretty brutal looking at it from a logical perspective. It's crippling for a man to live that way. Women thrive off of that anxiety - it keeps them humble and in-line.

A girl has to like you more than you like her. She has to perceptively have more to lose.

Post: #54

^^^ Good point.

I'm all for emotional bonding--but if and only if--she's into you more than you are into her.

Otherwise it will backfire. And you're going to have some some wounds.

Post: #55

(08-14-2015 09:14 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 05:36 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 02:34 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 10:56 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(08-12-2015 11:23 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I had wisdom on my side, and a solid sexy sidepiece, but it did nothing. Should have gone with my gut and not break the imperative "never to go back to a bitch" rule. It burned me good.

This has been your beta-relapse recap of the day.

If you still have that side piece just keep seeing her and eventually you'll bond with her.

I think a lot of guys forget that bonding is just matter of time. Feelings are a physical reaction of proximity + sex. So if you keep seeing your new girl eventually you'll come to enjoy her more than your ex.

Can't say I fully agree with that. Familiarity and intimacy are certainly contributing factors in bonding, but "love" isn't exactly a war of attrition. I have broken up with girls who were great girls merely because I didn't "click" with them he way I wanted to. Attractive, attentive, feminine, etc. but not enough things in common personality and lifestyle-wise to keep me interested. There is a certain level of particularity that goes into selecting a long-term partner.

This side-piece is still in my life (we hung out a couple nights ago), but I am barely interested in moving things forward with her because I can already tell there is a certain connection that needs to be there that is not there and I don't see it magically changing gradually over time.

^The girl I was recently seeing likely experienced the exact same feeling towards me.

You are incorrect, but moreso: who cares if you have those feelings? That shit is for woman. Far more important to find a good woman than a woman you have a strong infatuation for. Remember the most important qualities: flexible, giving, and loyal.

I guarantee you that if you kept seeing this girl for 3-4 years you would feel far more strongly for her.

While I do agree with that in a purely objective sense, I have tried it in practice and it just hasn't worked for me so far. Granted I haven't given it the "3-4 years" test as I don't see how I could manage to keep up a charade for that long with a girl that is just incredibly underwhelming to me.

This is something I have been personally struggling with the past year or so. I have wholeheartedly attempted to merely focus on only the key factors that make a LTR work in my favor, but I find myself completely unsatisfied when the personality/lifestyle factor isn't there. Is this beta?

Underwhelming? I've yet to date a woman out of hundreds of girls that weren't underwhelming. So yes, I'd say you're being very beta right now.

You don't date girls to be overwhelmed. How could you? They aren't going to be smarter than you, they won't be more interesting, and they aren't going to do jack shit for you.

Find the hottest piece of ass that isn't too slutty, and is flexible, giving, and has integrity: what else is there mang?

You be the man and lead her through the dance of life. That's it. There's nothing more to it. Puppy love is beta bullshit and it's the reason you got dumped by the last slut you were with. Get real: a 19-year old smokeshow like you have isn't something to be taken for granted. Enjoy the ride

Post: #56

(08-14-2015 10:02 AM)swiss rabbit Wrote:  

(08-13-2015 05:36 PM)Samseau Wrote:  You are incorrect, but moreso: who cares if you have those feelings? That shit is for woman. Far more important to find a good woman than a woman you have a strong infatuation for. Remember the most important qualities: flexible, giving, and loyal.

I guarantee you that if you kept seeing this girl for 3-4 years you would feel far more strongly for her.

But you know if you get the one you have infatuation for, you'll have a crazy intense relationship, high possibility of crazy sex, and just high general intensity....of course, she might be the worst fucking girl for you on logical reasons

There is no greater passion than getting the girl you have an infatuation for. Keeping her requires a high degree of relationship game, namely reserving the strength to take a loss at all times and never hesitating to communicate that when the time comes. This will counter your conveyances of infatuation with indifference and all conflicts will be settled in the bedroom. This is high level relationship pimping and when it works its the fuckin best.

Post: #57

(08-12-2015 05:12 AM)Blick Mang Wrote:  

Quote:Bullshit article! The betas that allow their feelings to overwhelm their rationality need to grow a pair and just not get attached very much in the first place. Every relationship should have the woman be far more emotionally attached than the man. That way if the relation ship finishes the man will be able to move on quickly, game and bang more chicks.

Be more alpha and you won't have this problem,

That's awful advice.

I had a 4-year LTR with a beautiful, young, traditional girlfriend (and virgin) who did everything for me - cooked, cleaned, even asked other girls for threesomes on nights out just to keep my interest. Perfect girlfriend a man could have in retrospect. I broke up with her shortly after joining this forum, because I dove head-first into the hedonistic, anti-marriage, anti-traditional bitterness so many guys with low notch counts seem to have. I was convinced by many posts here that marriage is evil, commitment is evil, all women are evil - and this couldn't be farther from the truth.

Of the last 10 dates I've been on, 9 have put out only hours after meeting. As many seasoned guys here can probably attest, life now is an endless search through a slut-filled rubbish heap for girls with even the slightest traces of normalcy and moral decency. And you're suggesting that the solution is to just stick my dick in more sluts? That mindless hedonism is the solution to the emptiness men feel when they're unwilling to connect with a woman beyond no-strings-attached sex?

Being "alpha" is a matter of managing your own expectations, achieving your maximum value as a man, and giving girls the impression you don't care. I'm telling you personally, if you live your life without risking emotional attachment with women, you're going to be very bitter, very lonely, and end up sulking in regret. Without emotional risk, there's no reward. I learned that the hard way.

Improve yourself, stop chasing sluts, and keep an eye on the big picture. Breakups are natural, and they can hurt like a bitch. Admitting that doesn't make you any less of a man. The trick to happiness isn't in writing off future relationships or attachment as a result, but instead, getting back on your feet and moving forward.

^^Fucking solid stuff here. +1 given.

Post: #58

(08-14-2015 03:25 PM)NomadofEU Wrote:  There is no greater passion than getting the girl you have an infatuation for. Keeping her requires a high degree of relationship game, namely reserving the strength to take a loss at all times and never hesitating to communicate that when the time comes. This will counter your conveyances of infatuation with indifference and all conflicts will be settled in the bedroom. This is high level relationship pimping and when it works its the fuckin best.

Amen to reserving the strength to take a loss - because if you do not do this when you should, you may be walked on and trampled on. It's easy to do with someone you're not infatuated with but maybe harder to do with someone you're infatuated with.