Post: #1

37yo, white woman, a massage therapist. Kind of hippy-ish, dark dyed red hair, big personality. Pretty good looking. She mentioned she used to drop acid with Ken Kesey in the late 90's.

The Approach:

It was a Wednesday and I had a date with another girl later that evening. For some reason, I feel more compelled to make approaches when I have a date lined up. I think it’s to keep me in a mindset of abundance mentality. Anyway, she was eating her lunch alone outside a grocery store I frequent. She had one of those probiotic beverages and I ask her, “Excuse me, is that a good drink?”

We ramble about probiotic drinks for a bit. She’s friendly. I get into some of the cool work I do. She seems interested in it. I sit down with her and we chat for fifteen or twenty minutes. I get her phone number, text her right after and we are both really busy so we make plans to meet the following Wednesday evening. She’s quick to respond to texts and ample smileys :-) in hers.

The Date:

Day of, I confirm the time with her of 8:30 pm. Originally I was thinking a bar, but she suggests we meet in a park nearby with a good view of the city. I agree. I figure we’ll go to a bar afterwards.

She’s sitting with a blanket held over her head. It's raining slightly. I join her under the blanket. We’re both sitting on a blanket with the other part of the blanket wrapped over our heads as we watch the sunset.

We chat, nothing too serious. I get close to her, touch a bit, but nothing much. Keeping it light and conversational. She talks about how she needs to get to bed by 11 pm.

We get in her car and head over to a restaurant around 9:30 pm for a light snack and cocktails. Luckily, the restaurant puts us at a table in the corner so we’re both sitting next to each other on a bench instead of across from each other. We get to talking. She points to the couple sitting a few tables away to ask:

Her: “What do you think, are they on their first date?”
Me: “Well they are closer than sixteen inches apart from each other, the distance of intimacy, so it must be a second or third date.” (Been forever since I've used that line).
Her: “Well, the girl wouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing if this was a later date.”

I tell her I’m going to go up to them and find out (displaying confidence). She tells me not to. We talk about the couple, and I tell her the girl is MUCH better looking than the guy. That made her burst into laughter for some reason.

Later, we talk about her work as a massage therapist, and she demonstrates a massage technique on my arm. I run the Cube routine, and then the waiter comes back with dinner.

Once we have dinner, we begin to talk. I mentioned a woman I know here, who is in her early 40s but just got pregnant. She has really big eyes, so she appears much younger. I go into an explanation of how certain features, like big eyes are indicative of fertility, and men by evolution are attracted to younger women because they are perceived as more fertile. Then, I tell her about an 18-year old I met a week ago and how I found her to be very attractive for that reason. This all came naturally, it wasn't a routine or pre-planned. She jealously asked:

Her: “Oh, I hope you got (the 18-year old’s) cell number, are you going to take her out?”
Me: “Of course.”

We chat some more and then at some point in the conversation, I ask if she was ever sexually attracted to women:

Her: “I definitely only like men.”
Me: “Well on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like men?”
Her: “Probably a 15.”

I then ask about the last time she has had sex. She thinks for a minute and says:

Her: “January.” (seven months ago)
Me: “January??”
Her: “Yea. You probably have more sex than I do. It’s very hard to get me in bed.”

I take her last comment to be anti-slut defense, because every other signal indicates she wants to fuck. By the end of dinner she’s touching me with the back of her hand without being provoked.

She needs to go to the grocery store, so we head there. We go to the cosmetics aisle where she’s looking at a bunch of different face creams. In the cosmetics aisle, we start touching a lot. I let my hand run slowly down her arm and just slightly touch her hand. She mixes two face creams in her hands, then says, “You should try this cream.” Then she rubs her two hands up and down through my beard. HOT.

We head back to her car and she begins to drive me home. When we get near my house,

Me: “Do you want to come in for a bit?”
Her: “Sure. Let me find parking.”

Easier than I expected. I get her to take her shoes off, show her around the first floor. She plops down on the living room couch. She wants to show me a music video from the 80’s on her phone a band called “Missing Persons”. We both are commenting on how hot the lead singer is, how she has legs for miles. Out of instinct, I put my arm around her shoulder. Our legs are touching. She asks with some degree of sarcasm:

Her: “Oh we’re cuddling now aren’t we?”
Me: “Nah. We’re just hanging out.” (I kept it cool, maybe should “agree and amplify”.)

She’s curled up and her body language is positive, her legs are turned in towards mine. She looks comfortable. We watch two music videos and she wants to show me a third when I tell her I’m going to show her the rest of the house.

We pop into my room, but she pops out almost immediately after. We go back downstairs.

Me: “Okay let’s watch that other music video you wanted to show me.”
Her: “No, I’m going to go home.”

Before I know it she has her shoes back on. She's by the door. I go into kiss her and she turns her face away. I follow her outside and try to kiss her again. Rejected. I was shocked because of everything else up until that point.

Her: “You’re too young.”
Me: “You’re too old.”
Her: “I’m not really looking for that right now. I’m at the stage of my life where I’m looking for a life partner.”

It was late and I wasn’t super sharp, but maybe I should have called her out on it because it’s total bullshit. Something like, “If you thought I was too young, you wouldn’t have hung out with me in the first place. You got the drinks and the attention. You know what, I’m going to bed. I’m not going to take this.” Look hurt and take five steps away from her.

But I didn’t do that. She walks out the door, then down the stairs. I call her name and tell her to come back I'm not wearing shoes I'm not walking out to the sidewalk. She comes back. We talk a bit more, I tell her:

Me: “You know, I won’t remember what you said, but I will remember how you made me feel, which is pretty shitty.”
Her: “You choose how you feel.”
Me: “Whatever.”
Her: “I just didn’t feel that connection with you.” (ARGHH…I’ve heard 3 women in the last two weeks tell me something along these lines).
Me: “You think Prince Charming will appear tomorrow?”

We talk some more and she says,

“I’m going to bed. You can call me if you want to hang out again.”

And she left.

My thoughts:

1. Disqualify her earlier, before she will inevitably disqualify me as being "too young". I'm ten years younger than her. I even wrote it down beforehand as something to do on the date, but I forgot to do it once we were together. Something like, “I shouldn’t be doing this... You’re not my type.” My type is a 20-year old, Brazilian woman, something opposite of her.

2. When she rejected the first kiss, I was acting on instinct, which is to talk some more, then try again. In the past that’s worked, and even lead to sex. She rejects the second kiss, what do I do? Stay calm, just leave? There’s nothing in “Bang” about how to react to a second rejection.

3. Finally, how to proceed. I felt comfortable with her. I’d be down to see her again.

There’s also not much in “Bang” about how to set up a second date under such circumstances. How do I approach inviting her out again? Her desire is to be friends and my desire is to fuck first and figure out the rest later. Seems irreconcilable.

Post: #2

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  37yo, white woman,

That's all you needed to say.

The hell you doing with 37 year old white chicks? Aren't you in your early 20's?

Post: #3

I think you escalated too late. Should have done it while you were cuddling or interjected with a sexual music video next. The first 2 videos and THEN the tour?

Also, some of your date conversation could have contributed to her suddenly leaving. The evolutionary diatribe about fertility. Not needed.

Also, be careful about being reactive. That's actually one of my sticking points right now. I have a huge temper and once it's set off, it's done. You calling her out would've been disastrous and she would have almost certain laughed it off and made you look like the fool.

That's all I got. Damn, older chicks are supposed to be easier! She probably really just craves a partner right now.

Post: #4

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  ...Then, I tell her about an 18-year old I met a week ago and how I found her to be very attractive for that reason. This all came naturally, it wasn't a routine or pre-planned. She jealously asked:

Her: “Oh, I hope you got (the 18-year old’s) cell number, are you going to take her out?”
Me: “Of course.” ...

I think you lost her at the 18yo. She can't compete with that.

Post: #5

I think overall you did a decent job but here are my observations of where things could have gone wrong:

• You shouldn't have taken her out to eat on a first date. Keep it to drinks or dessert
• You shouldn't have mentioned the 18 yo girl. Older women get turned off about men liking women that young
• When you were on the couch and she said "oh we're cuddling now" that was a shit test. I would have grabbed her, pulled her closer and kissed her then. After pulling away I would have said "and now we're kissing" You denied what you were doing and failed the test.
• After failing the above test, you got up from the couch which made it easy for her to leave. She took the opportunity to bolt.
• You didn't help your cause by losing frame and telling her how shitty she made you feel. Think of any alpha tv or movie actor. Would they have said anything remotely like this to her?
  

Unfortunately this one is DOA. Erase her number and never think about her again.

Post: #6

Why are settling for an old lady. Think better of yourself and accept the challenge of dating younger girls. You went in with a loser mindset rather than a winner mindset because a winner would not put himself in that position to begin with.

And you were not operating with an abundance mentality. You were giving her a free meal and chance to for her to scope out your place to see if she likes it enough to try to eventually move in with you.

I confused on why you felt the need to ask her when was the last time she had sex? How does that even benefit you?

Why did you feel the need to talk about the 18 year old girl?

Why you choose her over the 18 year old?

Post: #7

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  37yo, white woman, a massage therapist. Kind of hippy-ish, dark dyed red hair, big personality. Pretty good looking. She mentioned she used to drop acid with Ken Kesey in the late 90's.

Big red flag, how old are you ? Drugs are never good, if she's bragging, she's done other stuff also.

Quote:The Approach:

.....

Sounds pretty solid !

Quote:The Date:

She’s sitting with a blanket held over her head. It's raining slightly. I join her under the blanket. We’re both sitting on a blanket with the other part of the blanket wrapped over our heads as we watch the sunset.

If that isn't every girls fantasy to be kissed in, I don't know what is. This is the perfect time to go for a makeout with joke or a smile.

Quote:We get in her car and head over to a restaurant around 9:30 pm for a light snack and cocktails. Luckily, the restaurant puts us at a table in the corner so we’re both sitting next to each other on a bench instead of across from each other. We get to talking. She points to the couple sitting a few tables away to ask:

Her: “What do you think, are they on their first date?”
Me: “Well they are closer than sixteen inches apart from each other, the distance of intimacy, so it must be a second or third date.” (Been forever since I've used that line).
Her: “Well, the girl wouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing if this was a later date.”

Good topic, I do this ever so often, keeps the convo going, great way to drop emotional intelligence in

Quote:Later, we talk about her work as a massage therapist, and she demonstrates a massage technique on my arm. I run the Cube routine, and then the waiter comes back with dinner.

She's dropping Kino on you, interesting.

Quote:Once we have dinner, we begin to talk. I mentioned a woman I know here, who is in her early 40s but just got pregnant. She has really big eyes, so she appears much younger. I go into an explanation of how certain features, like big eyes are indicative of fertility, and men by evolution are attracted to younger women because they are perceived as more fertile. Then, I tell her about an 18-year old I met a week ago and how I found her to be very attractive for that reason. This all came naturally, it wasn't a routine or pre-planned. She jealously asked:

Her: “Oh, I hope you got (the 18-year old’s) cell number, are you going to take her out?”
Me: “Of course.”

You got her hamster spinning and shot your self in the foot, I never drop intel about other girls I'm going on dates with, only funny nightmare dates that make a good story.

Quote:We chat some more and then at some point in the conversation, I ask if she was ever sexually attracted to women:

Her: “I definitely only like men.”
Me: “Well on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like men?”
Her: “Probably a 15.”

She LOVES the dick and is stating it very clearly, she's dtf. I wouldn't bother talking about a woman's sexuality, for all you should care is she's on a date with you.

Quote:I then ask about the last time she has had sex. She thinks for a minute and says:

Her: “January.” (seven months ago)
Me: “January??”
Her: “Yea. You probably have more sex than I do. It’s very hard to get me in bed.”

That's 2 shit tests so far, you absolutely activated her ASD. I would've countered with jokingly, "only the cute ones"

Quote:I take her last comment to be anti-slut defense, because every other signal indicates she wants to fuck. By the end of dinner she’s touching me with the back of her hand without being provoked.

At least you realize your mistakes. Despite your gambles on topics that are usually taboo during date you still managed not to fuck up and she's still into you. This is awesome.

Quote:She needs to go to the grocery store, so we head there. We go to the cosmetics aisle where she’s looking at a bunch of different face creams. In the cosmetics aisle, we start touching a lot. I let my hand run slowly down her arm and just slightly touch her hand. She mixes two face creams in her hands, then says, “You should try this cream.” Then she rubs her two hands up and down through my beard. HOT.

You don't let her lead on a date man ! Another perfect moment to makeout with her, all this touching is going on.

Quote:......Out of instinct, I put my arm around her shoulder. Our legs are touching. She asks with some degree of sarcasm:

Her: “Oh we’re cuddling now aren’t we?”
Me: “Nah. We’re just hanging out.” (I kept it cool, maybe should “agree and amplify”.)

She’s curled up and her body language is positive, her legs are turned in towards mine. She looks comfortable. We watch two music videos and she wants to show me a third when I tell her I’m going to show her the rest of the house.

Shit test again, why didn't you offer her a drink when you first walked in ? She's constantly challenging you. At least you tried taking control in the back.

Quote:We pop into my room, but she pops out almost immediately after. We go back downstairs.

Me: “Okay let’s watch that other music video you wanted to show me.”
Her: “No, I’m going to go home.”

Before I know it she has her shoes back on. She's by the door. I go into kiss her and she turns her face away. I follow her outside and try to kiss her again. Rejected. I was shocked because of everything else up until that point.

You really can't be that shocked, all the signs were there, you had plenty of time to make a move and you didn't, older women don't have patience of time for BS, they're straight up and very business like.

Quote:Her: “You’re too young.”
Me: “You’re too old.”

Shit test alert ! Shouldn't of responded at all or made a joke, don't get all mad/bitter about it.

Quote:Her: “I’m not really looking for that right now. I’m at the stage of my life where I’m looking for a life partner.”

AKA I'm looking to lock a beta chump down who will have my kids and take care of me, especially at my oh so "young" age of 37.

Quote:It was late and I wasn’t super sharp, but maybe I should have called her out on it because it’s total bullshit. Something like, “If you thought I was too young, you wouldn’t have hung out with me in the first place. You got the drinks and the attention. You know what, I’m going to bed. I’m not going to take this.” Look hurt and take five steps away from her.

Reeks of desperation, weakness, and neediness, NEVER, fold your poker face dude ! Honestly that's something a woman would say.

Quote:We talk a bit more, I tell her:

Me: “You know, I won’t remember what you said, but I will remember how you made me feel, which is pretty shitty"
Her: “You choose how you feel.”
Me: “Whatever.”
Her: “I just didn’t feel that connection with you.” (ARGHH…I’ve heard 3 women in the last two weeks tell me something along these lines).
Me: “You think Prince Charming will appear tomorrow?”

Desperation, melt down imminent, she's seeing you with beta oh pity me game. She straight punked you saying you choose how you feel. She responded in player like fashion, as if talking to her son or a little boy.



If you've had a hattrick of women telling you the same thing, sounds like you've gotta retool and approach your game differently.

Quote:My thoughts:

1. Disqualify her earlier, before she will inevitably disqualify me as being "too young". I'm ten years younger than her. I even wrote it down beforehand as something to do on the date, but I forgot to do it once we were together. Something like, “I shouldn’t be doing this... You’re not my type.” My type is a 20-year old, Brazilian woman, something opposite of her.

Then why in gods name are you going after a 37 year old ?

Quote:2. When she rejected the first kiss, I was acting on instinct, which is to talk some more, then try again. In the past that’s worked, and even lead to sex. She rejects the second kiss, what do I do? Stay calm, just leave? There’s nothing in “Bang” about how to react to a second rejection.

You ALWAYS act cool, calm, and collected. If she rejects play it off as if nothing happened, and send her on her way. More advanced players would parlay that into teasing and holding her for a big longer and trying to kiss her again, or some veterans would bye felicia that bitch.

Quote:3. Finally, how to proceed. I felt comfortable with her. I’d be down to see her again.

Are you serious ? Re-read what you wrote: She said: "You're too young" She said "I just didn’t feel that connection with you.”

It's over man, move on and next her. You chose your woman poorly, you game wasn't on point and she's way more experience than you.

Quote:There’s also not much in “Bang” about how to set up a second date under such circumstances. How do I approach inviting her out again? Her desire is to be friends and my desire is to fuck first and figure out the rest later. Seems irreconcilable.

Dude, it's DOA, dead on arrival, there will be no second date, she marked you off her black list of possible fucks.

Sure you can wait for her to text you first:



Or you can send a restart text and:




TL;DR This is a classic case of no escalation, shit testing, and putting pussy on a pedestal.

The upside is, this forum will make you better choosing better women, approaching them, banging them, enjoying your time together.

I KNOW I sound a bit harsh, but I'd expect the same criticizations from any gent on this forum.

PM me if you want more info or suggestions.

Post: #8

Paging Cattle Rustler.

Post: #9

Jagnum, sorry for hijacking your thread but I think this story is quite similar to yours.

Don't feel bad. I had a similar instance. Let me lay it out for you. If Rooshians can break it down and see where I went wrong, it would be appreciated.

Disclaimer:
She was in her early thirties and has two kids. Black American lizard, lower tier. Yes, I know one can do better but that's what the date was and she passed the boner test so I was trying to see if I could fcuk..sooner rather than later.

I asked the lizard to meet me for drinks after work (not immediately). I was in my car, she called me to see if I was at the destination and I said that I was.
She said she was already there and I came out of my car, still on the phone to meet her.
I saw her and I went over to hug her. Of course I was pleased with what I saw. Wide hips, ass and she wore a long figure grabbing black dress, flip flops under the dress and her hair was pressed down.
I wore a baseball cap, a tight collared shirt and some jeans with grey shoes.

We entered the eating establishment and went to the bar area where they were doing 2 for 1.
We sat down and I ordered a screwdriver after her order.
We began talking.
She began speaking about her ex partners and asked me to tell me a bit about herself.
She also said that she gets bored quickly if the conversation doesn't go anywhere. I bit my lip not to say that it takes two to carry a conversation but I just held a stoic smile and sipped my drink slowly. She also said that she is straightforward and doesn't BS and is good at making wonderful friends.
I began to establish contact by rubbing the outside of my triceps against her exposed arms to establish body contact.
My style is generally laidback and I think it will always be that way.
She told me about her ex fiancee who was a former and now current felon. I nodded 'sympathetically' at her plight (he was cheating a lot) and was now on his way back to the slammer for moving weight.
"When is your birthday?", she asked me.
"Take a guess", I said.
"I don't do guesses", she said. "I only play guess work with my kids"
She went on a slight rant that I can't remember because due to my tenure with dealing with North American women, it doesn't matter, it's really all bullshyt.
I said something and then she made another comment and I replied that it was really a British thing.
She said yes and if her friends heard me..they would say I'm talking white.
I smiled and said..is there such a thing?
She said..they would say so..I said then I would break them down logically. My tone was gentle and there was a slight smile on my face.
She went into another long rant and I could feel steam erupting in my skull. I felt my brain straining but quickly savaged an eject operation from initiation by entertaining the prospect of if I could get some damaged pussy from her.
After the rant about her association with intellectuals, she asked me if I understood what she was saying (it was at least 1 minute of her talking).
I took a sip of my drink and said:
"To be honest, I didn't even hear what you said"
Her face changed and she brought up her smartphone and flicked through it for a while, checking facebook, texts and she made a call to one of her friends.
I put my arm around her, palming her booty slightly.
She said that she had a busy day tomorrow and had to go.
Cut a long story short, we finished up the drinks and left. I walked her to her car.
I moved in for a big hug and squeezed her buttocks again.
"Will I be seeing you again?", I grinned. Her eyes flickered for a second and she said "Yes".
I walked off to my car and left.
Long story short, I won't be seeing her again.

If you need more details, please ask..but is there anything I could have done better on that date or was it just part of the game that you have to run through your duds?
I don't do negs and I don't think they work well on black American lizards to be honest. Accounting for my British accent, I think the best approach may be to play gentleman but not sucker. What do you guys think?

Post: #10

I think you framed yourself well, I just think the target was just damaged and wasn't salvageable.

Granted she passed the boner test, all that shit testing and challenges.

She thinks she's smarter...than what she really is. Emphasis on her trying to sell it.

The fact you said you weren't listening.....intensified her rage.

Yeah it's nice a girl does all the talking, but if she's complaining about her ex husband and partners. It's an eject for me - I have little patience I suppose.

She was bragging, I can picture you just being a smooth operator, then you have this neurotic lizard just yapping away....as you get closer lol.


I suppose I do alot more recon work beforehand when meeting with a girl (especially from online). I try and get them on the phone for a few minutes to see how our interaction would be.

I just can't stand....attention whoring, stupidity, and sell hards.

Post: #11

@Moma - when you stated that she was unwilling to guess your birthday, without reading her nationality I knew she was black American lizard with a sour disposition. I've had the displeasure of being in the company of these poor sports and there are two types.

Those that hook hard early, and those who regardless of your best efforts to remain smooth, will reward your sweet macking gentlemanly approach with sour vinegar. There is no middle ground with the type of chick you described. She either digs your "exotic" accent and worldly observations or she thinks you are corny or worse an L7 (square).

She probably didn't feel she was being entertained enough, the entitlement level of some women is through the roof.

My findings are that people fear what they don't understand, or are so self centered they won't challenge themselves with new info. Instead they will live in their little corners of the world ignorant and satisfied.

It was a doomed mission early on, but sometimes hood rat pussy be like lobster once you crack their hard shell

Post: #12

Excellent Break Down of his date Kaotic.

When I start posting videos of my instadates/dates I hope your analysis of it can benefit not only me but others members on here seeing it on video play by play.

And Moma I just had a kind of similar situation to you as well. I have the video of this too if you guys want it.
I was in Hollywood this past Monday and cold approached a cute, respectable, and properly dressed black girl in her mid 20's who just got off the bus from work and was heading to the underground subway.
She was receptive to my cold approach and we began having a cool conversation.
Everything was cool up until she casually threw in the conversation that she has a kid. This instantly made me not take her seriously anymore and I was also shocked because she looked pretty young and not fat. Towards the end of the conversation I tell she asks for my name again and then told me her friend had an ex boyfriend with the same name as me, and she playfully told me she wanted to murder that guy for being such a bad boyfriend to her friend.

This was an instant turnoff and ruined the whole approach for me. I mean I still got her number but damn FUCK DAT BITCH for bringing that shit up.

Post: #13

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  37yo, white woman, a massage therapist. Kind of hippy-ish, dark dyed red hair, big personality. Pretty good looking. She mentioned she used to drop acid with Ken Kesey in the late 90's.


I tell her I’m going to go up to them and find out (displaying confidence). She tells me not to. We talk about the couple, and I tell her the girl is MUCH better looking than the guy. That made her burst into laughter for some reason.

This may work on a 20-something. A 37 year old woman? This is amateur behavior from a young man putting his rooster feathers out. It will not EVER work on a 37 year old woman, especially if she has ever been married or had long term relationships.

Quote:Once we have dinner, we begin to talk. I mentioned a woman I know here, who is in her early 40s but just got pregnant. She has really big eyes, so she appears much younger. I go into an explanation of how certain features, like big eyes are indicative of fertility, and men by evolution are attracted to younger women because they are perceived as more fertile. Then, I tell her about an 18-year old I met a week ago and how I found her to be very attractive for that reason. This all came naturally, it wasn't a routine or pre-planned. She jealously asked:

Her: “Oh, I hope you got (the 18-year old’s) cell number, are you going to take her out?”
Me: “Of course.”

Touching on her insecurities about younger women will not ever do you favors. You're creating a obstacle that you don't need to have. The net result will be her going back to her girlfriends and talking about this talking point. Her friends will collectively slay you. You could be coolest guy ever. You will get crucified in the Court of Girlfriend Opinion.

Quote:We head back to her car and she begins to drive me home. When we get near my house,

Me: “Do you want to come in for a bit?”
Her: “Sure. Let me find parking.”

Easier than I expected. I get her to take her shoes off, show her around the first floor.....

And you didn't offer her a drink. You were in. You missed an opportunity to buy whatever she wanted to drink at the grocery store. Asking, "What's your drink of choice?" As you meander into the booze section would have set you up for success.

Quote:Her: “Oh we’re cuddling now aren’t we?”
Me: “Nah. We’re just hanging out.” (I kept it cool, maybe should “agree and amplify”.)

She’s curled up and her body language is positive, her legs are turned in towards mine. She looks comfortable. We watch two music videos and she wants to show me a third when I tell her I’m going to show her the rest of the house.

Why? Why at that moment did you feel compelled to show her the rest of the house? Escalate. Check her vibe, and continue. She WILL let you know if moving to your bedroom is an option pretty quickly after you start kissing. This is the benefit of older women; If they're into it, they'll show you in a direct fashion.

Quote:We pop into my room, but she pops out almost immediately after. We go back downstairs.

Me: “Okay let’s watch that other music video you wanted to show me.”
Her: “No, I’m going to go home.”

You sabotaged yourself in this one.

Quote:Before I know it she has her shoes back on. She's by the door. I go into kiss her and she turns her face away. I follow her outside and try to kiss her again. Rejected. I was shocked because of everything else up until that point.

Her: “You’re too young.”
Me: “You’re too old.”
Her: “I’m not really looking for that right now. I’m at the stage of my life where I’m looking for a life partner.”

It was late and I wasn’t super sharp, but maybe I should have called her out on it because it’s total bullshit. Something like, “If you thought I was too young, you wouldn’t have hung out with me in the first place. You got the drinks and the attention. You know what, I’m going to bed. I’m not going to take this.” Look hurt and take five steps away from her.

This won't work on a 37 year old woman. She'll give it right back to you and hit you on your immaturity, or something along those lines. You should have cut your losses for the night and re-attempted the next day or so. Better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it.

Quote:Me: “You know, I won’t remember what you said, but I will remember how you made me feel, which is pretty shitty.”
Her: “You choose how you feel.”
Me: “Whatever.”
Her: “I just didn’t feel that connection with you.” (ARGHH…I’ve heard 3 women in the last two weeks tell me something along these lines).
Me: “You think Prince Charming will appear tomorrow?”

We talk some more and she says,

“I’m going to bed. You can call me if you want to hang out again.”

And she left.

My thoughts:

[quote]1. Disqualify her earlier, before she will inevitably disqualify me as being "too young". I'm ten years younger than her. I even wrote it down beforehand as something to do on the date, but I forgot to do it once we were together. Something like, “I shouldn’t be doing this... You’re not my type.” My type is a 20-year old, Brazilian woman, something opposite of her.

This will not ever work. You want to display confidence? Know why you are sitting with a 37 year old woman when you sit down with her. At this stage of the game there isn't a lot that you have that she doesn't have. She has a career that I'm sure she makes more $ than you. I'm certain she's a home owner... She is looking for an asset in her life. You have to be the chameleon to convince her that you are that guy. You outed yourself as a young guy who just wants to fuck. All of her sentinels are on watch for the guy you portrayed yourself as.

Quote:2. When she rejected the first kiss, I was acting on instinct, which is to talk some more, then try again. In the past that’s worked, and even lead to sex. She rejects the second kiss, what do I do? Stay calm, just leave? There’s nothing in “Bang” about how to react to a second rejection.

Quit trying so hard. At some point you're going to need to get off script and play her game to get her to play yours. At this point, a 37 year old woman has seen it all. Your age is immediately off putting for the most part. You're going to have to act maturely to overcome the bias of age that you face. She knows that you're most likely only looking for sex. Your behavior confirmed much of this.

Quote:3. Finally, how to proceed. I felt comfortable with her. I’d be down to see her again.

[quote]Her desire is to be friends and my desire is to fuck first and figure out the rest later. Seems irreconcilable.

This is your immaturity shining through. You're going to have to give a little to get what you want.

Post: #14

(08-06-2015 05:39 PM)Moma Wrote:  Jagnum, sorry for hijacking your thread but I think this story is quite similar to yours.

If you need more details, please ask..but is there anything I could have done better on that date or was it just part of the game that you have to run through your duds?
I don't do negs and I don't think they work well on black American lizards to be honest. Accounting for my British accent, I think the best approach may be to play gentleman but not sucker. What do you guys think?

@Moma: I feel your pain, but i realized something a while back. These type of women are use to thugged out/bad boy types. You have to do the same in terms of conversation or eject early. You think her Con ex husband would have put up with those shit test? These type of black women don't respect an educated smooth brother so you have to reciprocate their own behavior.

If I go out with a black US chick and she's about those "i'm a boss bitch" stuff I tell them to either shut up, don't be a bad girl or someone spent too much time listening to Beyonce. Some generally just want a dude they can't run over, cool. Others like stated above are sour and unsalvageable. Sounds like you had the latter.

@Jagnum: Anytime and I mean anytime I'm dealing with chicks in their 30's i always go for the kiss early on. I don't want them to think this will turn friendly and I definitely don't let them lead. If they suggest going to somewhere even if I want to go I tell them we are going to the opposite. It sounds like it will blow the date but hasn't happened yet. Like others said 38 is too old for the games, would have courted her to a bar and went for the pump and dump or ejection.

-CD

Post: #15

(08-06-2015 05:39 PM)Moma Wrote:  ......

This was over before it started. Jilted, cagey, bitter woman. And ghetto as fuck..... You had nothing to work with. Stay away from ghetto woman. "Talking white" is a dead giveaway.

Post: #16

(08-06-2015 03:43 PM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  37yo, white woman,

That's all you needed to say.

The hell you doing with 37 year old white chicks? Aren't you in your early 20's?

I'm 31, and I wouldn't even chart that territory. Also, hippyish women who drink probiotic drinks are a waste of time.

Post: #17

Quote:Once we have dinner, we begin to talk. I mentioned a woman I know here, who is in her early 40s but just got pregnant. She has really big eyes, so she appears much younger. I go into an explanation of how certain features, like big eyes are indicative of fertility, and men by evolution are attracted to younger women because they are perceived as more fertile. Then, I tell her about an 18-year old I met a week ago and how I found her to be very attractive for that reason. This all came naturally, it wasn't a routine or pre-planned. She jealously asked:

Her: “Oh, I hope you got (the 18-year old’s) cell number, are you going to take her out?”
Me: “Of course.”

This part made me stop reading. Why, for the love of game, did you say this?!

You are basically telling her she she's just another catch before you'll try spicing things up with the 18y/o. She's a 37 year old woman, why did you think she'll not burn you for that?

Post: #18

(08-06-2015 03:28 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  Her: “Oh we’re cuddling now aren’t we?”
Me: “Nah. We’re just hanging out.” (I kept it cool, maybe should “agree and amplify”.)

That response doesn't really get it done.

My first thought was to reference that sixteen inch distance of intimacy thing from earlier in the same conversation.

Her: “Oh we’re cuddling now aren’t we?”
Me: “Yeah. We just broke through that sixteen inch barrier like it was nothing!”