Post: #1

How did you escape your dead end job? I’m just looking for advice, ideas, or even inspiration.

I feel like I’m trapped in my current gig, which I hate, and because of a bunch of things related to the job (long commute, stressful job, lack of opportunities to move up within my organization), the rest of my life has suffered. I’m a lot less happy and my health has suffered despite not being that old (24).

Two years ago when I started this job, it was just something to get some experience on my resume, and I was a lot more optimistic about the future. Now it feels like I’m gonna have to climb a steep hill to even get a respectable income (60k+/yr) and a somewhat respectable life. I feel like the job market for people like me is a crapshoot.

Current Situation:
-work a dead end call centre type job, that I hate 80% of the time, make around $40,000 a year (in Canada). 40,000 a year can’t get you shit in Toronto.
-do not develop any real marketable skills at work that could impress future employers
-have around $40,000 of fairly liquid assets (cash and blue chip stocks)
-have a little over $25,000 in student loans, but monthly payments are low
-have a bachelor’s degree in economics
-live at home with my parents at age 24 (how I managed to save good money while making 40k)
-commute to work is 1.5 hours both ways (total 3 hours a day)
trying to do evening classes at uni, struggling due to lack of time to study

Goals:
-have a job where I don’t sweat it out with mind numbing tasks. A hard job is fine, just hard in the right way. Challenging.
-improve my income so that I can earn 4000 post tax per month (or, 48000 post tax per year). This is so that I can move out and still save around 1000 a month.
-move out and get my own place
-get back into good shape. I’ve gained 25lbs in two years working at my current place, and LOST muscle so it’s MORE than 25lbs of fat gain. I had a good v-taper two years ago and would get looks when wearing a tight shirt. Now I’m a fat guy.

Any ideas, or stories of how you escaped?

Post: #2

Sorry if the post is a little long winded.

Today's just been an even worse day than normal. Hating my life more than normal today (normal is bad enough).

Post: #3

I saved money (3 months cash, 4 months in investments) and I quit.

I'm spending the next six months trying to get my business going. If I fail, oh well, jobs aren't that hard to find. If I succeed, awesome. If I had stayed, I would have hated my life like I have the past 4 years.

It sounds like you don't know exactly what you want. Figure that out first, make a plan, and quit. Shit jobs are a dime a dozen. Don't sacrifice your health to make someone else rich.

Post: #4

40k a year is pretty decent for a single guy especially if you're still living at home.

Post: #5

The thing is that even if you escape a soulless job, there's always going to be market pressure on you in some way or another.

If you hate your boss now, you can quit and start your own business, but you'll have a different kind of boss - client demands, market pressure, etc.

So we all have to eventually understand that all jobs in the hyper-competitive modern capitalist system will wear you down on some days at least. The best route in my opinion is to try to find something that excites you - something from your childhood. A good book to check out is Robert Greene's Mastery. Then follow that path until you make a respectable income. A job that you like, that turns on something internal from your childhood, is an ideal toward which we should strive. I don't know if it's possible for everyone - some people just don't get very excited. What about career paths that don't make much money? Trust me man, if you like something and put your heart into it, the money will come. You'll think of things that others haven't.

I have a job that I like but I still don't want to go some days. If I didn't like my job I would probably quit.

Post: #6

When you really have a tough job that is just a job rather than a career one strategy is to be almost schizophrenic about it. Try to cram the job into as little time as possible. Ideally work only 6 or 7 months of the year at the job, but work 60 or 70 hours a week. Best if you are paid overtime. Then for the remainder of the time you are free to do what you please.

Post: #7

Sounds like the typical story, you're definitely not a minority.

I think it's pretty fucked up that this stuff happens. You'd think the directions of parents and schools would be tailored to specifically avoid ending up in this situation. Alas most parents are stupid and most schools are corrupt.

Firstly, you're probably trapped in an energy well. You don't have the energy to escape because the work and the commute drains you too much, so there is little remaining time and energy to discover and work on a way out.

Is there any way you can reduce the commute? Can you find a sharehouse near work, or find a job near your parents house? Also how is the commute done? If you could somehow cut down your total commute to under an hour, you'd be in a much better position.

Are there better cities you can go to in Canada, with more opportunities? For example, the famous 'oil sands' thread on this forum has guys going to the least pleasant parts of Canada but earning large pay packets. Sometimes you have to accept more severe discomfort and uncertaintly for a while to give you more room to move in the future.

Post: #8

Got fired. Lol.

Post: #9

I spent a few years in the oilfield, invested every penny in my own business ( a new rock imaging technology), and now I'm 28 and broke living in my mom's basement, trying to sell my technology to a drilling company (possibly for millions).

Basically I risked everything on a new proprietary technology for the oil field which may or may not pay off. I have sales calls and inqueries which change daily, so I never really know what will happen.

I look at it this way....
I knew I would be miserable working for someone else my whole life, even if it was a high salary in the oilfield. Either way you will have a routine and never really be able to buy everything you want.
So your question is more about you personally and not your job.

Do you want to be rich or do you just want a good job?

98% of people don't want to be rich or successful. They want to go to work, do what they're told, get a paycheck and go home. They dont want to take risks or sacrifice their lifestyle for a long-term gamble. They want holidays and paid vacations, and dont want their work to run their life. They dont want to think about big-picture strategies or risks, they just want to do what they're told. These are the types of people who bitch about CEO's making big money, but aren't willing to work 80 hours a week.

You are very young, are you willing to burn your prime years in the pursuit of more dollars? Or do you want to just focus on being happy and having a social life instead of chasing money?
So do you simply want a higher paying job? so you can do the 40-50 hour a week stability thing, just at a higher wage?


If you want to be an entrepreneur, your ENTIRE LIFE must revolve around your business and your money. that means no holidays, no 'living it up', probably no social life, etc.... 99% of people aren't willing to do this.

In my opinion you have 3 options.

1. stay where you're at, and get your happiness from social life, friends, and the simple things in life.

2. go back to school to be a physician assistant or nurse, so you would end up with a higher salary and slightly better lifestyle.

3. go balls to the wall, work 2- 3 part time jobs and stockpile cash over a few years to launch your own business in a few years. This is the most painful and you will waste your prime years chasing $$$, but only you know if youre willing to take that risk and sacrifice. This is basically what I did, except I stayed on oil rigs for 30-50 days in a row getting a fat dayrate. Basically 25 to 28 my life was sitting on drilling rigs in exchange for money. Even now I don't know if this will pay off for me or not.

Post: #10

(07-02-2015 04:23 PM)Disco_Volante Wrote:  I spent a few years in the oilfield, invested every penny in my own business ( a new rock imaging technology), and now I'm 28 and broke living in my mom's basement, trying to sell my technology to a drilling company (possibly for millions).

Basically I risked everything on a new proprietary technology for the oil field which may or may not pay off. I have sales calls and inqueries which change daily, so I never really know what will happen.

I look at it this way....
I knew I would be miserable working for someone else my whole life, even if it was a high salary in the oilfield. Either way you will have a routine and never really be able to buy everything you want.
So your question is more about you personally and not your job.

Do you want to be rich or do you just want a good job?

98% of people don't want to be rich or successful. They want to go to work, do what they're told, get a paycheck and go home. They dont want to take risks or sacrifice their lifestyle for a long-term gamble. They want holidays and paid vacations, and dont want their work to run their life. They dont want to think about big-picture strategies or risks, they just want to do what they're told. These are the types of people who bitch about CEO's making big money, but aren't willing to work 80 hours a week.

You are very young, are you willing to burn your prime years in the pursuit of more dollars? Or do you want to just focus on being happy and having a social life instead of chasing money?
So do you simply want a higher paying job? so you can do the 40-50 hour a week stability thing, just at a higher wage?


If you want to be an entrepreneur, your ENTIRE LIFE must revolve around your business and your money. that means no holidays, no 'living it up', probably no social life, etc.... 99% of people aren't willing to do this.

In my opinion you have 3 options.

1. stay where you're at, and get your happiness from social life, friends, and the simple things in life.

2. go back to school to be a physician assistant or nurse, so you would end up with a higher salary and slightly better lifestyle.

3. go balls to the wall, work 2- 3 part time jobs and stockpile cash over a few years to launch your own business in a few years. This is the most painful and you will waste your prime years chasing $$$, but only you know if youre willing to take that risk and sacrifice. This is basically what I did, except I stayed on oil rigs for 30-50 days in a row getting a fat dayrate. Basically 25 to 28 my life was sitting on drilling rigs in exchange for money. Even now I don't know if this will pay off for me or not.

There are also other options, as someone above said. If you find something that you really like you can pursue that. Maybe first learn some skills as an employee and later you can start your own business. It will still be a hustle, but if you like what you are doing and the social world you're in through your work, it doesn't really feel like work. E.g. if you're a surfer and launch a business building surfboards at a surf spot at the beach, you will probably work a lot too, but you're around surfers all the time, near the beach, can take a break and go catch some waves, it's a cool lifestyle. Even if you work way more than a 9-5 guy.

Post: #11

(07-02-2015 02:35 PM)RealDeal Wrote:  40k a year is pretty decent for a single guy especially if you're still living at home.

No it isn't he needs to work harder. Call center is the job you get when you don't know what the fuck to do with your life.

OP:

What was you education in? Why aren't you using that?

Find a low stress job close as you can to home ASAP even if it is a pay cut. Bartender would be a great one. 3 hours commute is a huge waste of time unless it is a very high paying job and you have a family tying you down. Even then it's bad. This new job would just be a bridge to give you time and energy to move to something else.

Use your spare time to further your education in a marketable skill or trade.

If you know what you want to switch to train in you use your savings just to pack up and move to wherever the opportunity is.

Good news is having your home base with your saved money is you don't have to care about a pay cut in the short term to be able to use the extra time and energy you will save to get a better one.

If I were you I would quit this job today.

1. It is a dead end giving you no skills
2. It won't mean shit for your resume that you quit, especially since you are going to do something else anyways
3. You have a financial back stop in your parents and savings
4. It is a waste of your time
5. Your health is deteriorating
6. Your soul is dying

Also you are in Toronto. Why aren't you planning an exit path?

Respect yourself more.

Post: #12

What was your degree in? 25k isn't life crushing debt, but don't take on any more without a solid plan. I agree it sounds like you don't really know what you want. Not unusual for a kid borne of middle class parents who wanted "the best" for their children and of course, to "put them through college" without really having a plan for what "college" was supposed to offer.

I wouldn't write off the job skill part just yet - you say you have been there for two years? Do you know anything at all about your bosses job? Not that running a call center is the greatest of opportunities, but there are places in the Philippines that do that, and elsewhere. Any chance you could step up to learn what it is he does?

Take a challenge if offered, learn about it then who knows, you could be running something similar in the PI while banging 6s and 7s nightly. Might not be a permanent plan but hell man, you're only 24 - take some worthwhile risks already!

Barring that, it doesn't sound like there is much of a social or professional circle. Yes, I know there isn't much professionally going on in your current gig, but what are your interests? Find people who share that and link up with them. Got to start somewhere. See CH's 16 Commandments of Poon for related advice (yes, it also applies to your professional success - a total approach you need to adopt). Good luck.

Post: #13

Trill,
Have you thought about going abroad and initially use teaching English as a way to parlay that into bigger opportunities?

From your initial post, you have some cash saved which is huge. With cash, you do have more options.

Are you looking to become an entrepreneur/digital or old school? Do you want to work overseas? Again, you DO have options man!

From what I gather reading your post and what I have seen and feel about most guys stuck in corporate cubicles, even more so, in a freaking call centre, as long as the guy is aware and not too far gone down the rabbit hole of being hopeless brainwashed by the leftist propaganda machine, then a great alternative, if not a salvation from a life of mediocrity and broken dreams, is to go abroad.

The adventure alone, which would make you feel way more alive than you could ever at any job, at any time in your lifetime, in Boretown (aka Toronto) in a cubicle at a call centre. Additionally, opportunities abound abroad, especially in these so called "developing countries". Developing countries shouldn't be looked at as step down or something pejorative. Quite the opposite! It's called developing because industries are not saturated yet, shit is happening there at neck breaking speed. And that is fantastic news for us, daring, ambitious, adventurous men who do not want to just settle with mediocrity, as that spells OPPORTUNITY and ADVENTURE with giant capital O and even bigger O like nothing else out there!

Take China for example. The biggest market in the world. Soon to be the biggest economy in the world. With numbers to make you utterly dizzy in disbelief at the colossal potential out there: 162 cities of over 1M population, in contrast to around 30 in all of NA and Western Europe combined! How about a middle class of over 800 Million people? I'm getting dizzy just typing those numbers man!

Opportunities galore like you would never believe. Way way easier for you to accelerate your career path, if that's what you want. And nothing or nowhere comes close, let alone beats China in terms of sheer business opportunities, if that's what you're looking for.

You could easily find an English teaching job there (check Echinacities.com or davescafe.com. I personally prefer the former) just to give you an idea of the kind of jobs and terms and perks that come with them. Now is a great time to start applying as schools across the Middle Kingdom are gearing up for the busy Fall semester starting in September.

Sure, from a pure monetary wise, you may not make as "much" as you would, at least initially in Boretown. However, with what you'd make there, because of the relatively cheaper cost of living, your quality of life would be of a much much higher and better level than anything you could ever dream of in NA, unless you're making a high 6 figs here. While being surrounded in a sea of sweet, feminine, thin and sexy Chinese girls.

So consider going to China for a while as it is an excellent option. To recharge your batteries, get out of the soul crushing monotony of cubicle life, even more so in a shit hole like Boretown. You'd make enough to cover your living expenses while enjoying, I'd wager, a much more funner and more fulfilling lifestyle and quality of life than you'd ever achieve in NA.

So with a teaching gig in China, you'd typically work 20-30 hours per week. With the free time, learn the language as you're still young. And that would be huge! Knowing Chinese is going to open up doors of unlimited opportunities for you. Use that time also to network and good news for you, networking, is infinitely easier in China that in NA.

Then use that time in China, along your ever growing list of contacts and slowly but surely chinese language skills to leverage and parlay that into other working opportunities. Again, opportunities, that you would not coming close to in 25 lifetimes in a place like Toronto or anywhere in NA unless you come from Money or from that Upper class there.

Now, if you're more the entrepreneurial type and are dying to build a location independent lifestyle, then go to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand or Saigon, in Vietnam, bootstrap your biz. You can live very well for about 1500/month, you can even do it for about a grand a month. Both CM and Saigon are MAJOR hubs for entrepreneurs and you'd build not only a killer network in no time but within a year, you'd learn enough skills to get some kind of biz off the ground.

So with about 12K, that would buy you a whole year in order for you to learn new skills, make killer contacts and build life lasting friendships, not to mention have a blast and feel more alive than ever in your life so far.

So take your pick. However, it all starts with that one, simple yet all mighty important step:

FIRING YOUR BOSS AND YOUR JOB!

Post: #14

Being from Toronto, I think you are better off than a lot of people for someone your age. You seem to be able to save money like a bandit, I could use lessons from you.
The only way to get out of the job is to take a night school course in something that interests you. I have one in mind that I am looking at, feel free to PM because I don't want to post it on here.
I agree stay in your job and get the experience. Is there another department you could transfer too?

Post: #15

I went job searching, got an "offer" and quit my job with 4 days notice.

It wasn't smooth sailing however, because the new "offer" didn't pan out and I was "let go" after a week.

What followed was six months of directionlessness. The only things that kept me going were my savings, my blog, and some twisted sense of hope that things would work themselves out... as long as I kept working at it.

After those six months, I landed a trial and now I'm a sommelier, pretty much my dream job.

Point is - there is no perfect time or circumstance to quit. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge, pull the plug, and prepare to tread water for a long time before things pan out. If you can, wait until you get a real, solid offer for a new job before jumping ship. That was probably my mistake, not wanting to wait, but I couldn't stand the crowd of overweight, SJW feminists that were invading the office at the time. I needed to get out before blood was drawn, my own or theirs.

Post: #16

(07-02-2015 05:38 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  I agree stay in your job and get the experience.

You don't get valuable experience being a phone monkey in a call center.

Post: #17

(07-02-2015 05:50 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(07-02-2015 05:38 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  I agree stay in your job and get the experience.

You don't get valuable experience being a phone monkey in a call center.

I meant work experience, employers here want to see that you can hold down a job. Even if it is a call centre job.

Post: #18

Your Canadian come and join the rest of us here in Alberta! You can get a job as construction laborer that pays 20$ starting salary with overtime you can clear 3500-4000 a month with that and that's the most basic job here. Get Paid and get in better shape at same time.

Quit your job, sell everything you don't need and drive up here and join the rest of us. . Figure out what you want to do over here away from your parents, dead end job and assuming loser friends who are in same boat as you.

You must move out of parents house ASAP. That is holding you back big time.

Post: #19

Your story and mine are similar - I felt exactly like you do, when I was 25. I'm a little older now, living in Toronto. PM me if you want a more personal chat, but here in front of the forum works fine too.

Things I've learned:

• Long commutes will suck anyone's soul out from inside them. The greatest decision I made was to move closer to the subway, which minimizes my commute time.
• I also got the 2-year itch in my job ... left and never went back. It wasn't a dead end job but I just couldn't keep at it. I was my fattest when I was working the 8-6 grind. I can't explain why - I just lost my will to go to the gym. I'm currently in the best shape I've ever been in (no V-Taper though, I'd have to cut out alcohol for that)
• Consider Travesty444 and Vacancier's points: Do you plan on staying in Toronto? The city gets very little love from members here. At 25 I hadn't travelled and travelling opened up my eyes to a huge world full of opportunities. The world is too big to spend your life in one city doing work you hate. Travel will kick your ass into gear and pressure you to make some moves.
  

As for how I quit: I knew I could make money another way, so I just didn't renew my contract.

As for your goals:
-"have a job where I don’t sweat it out with mind numbing tasks" - sounds like you might want to work for yourself - if you've got the self-discipline and guts to go for it
-"move out and still save around 1000 a month." - I'm currently grossing less than 60K and live downtown, and bank almost 1K a month. It's not a baller condo but it's a bachelor near the subway (south of Bloor) and that's what I care about ... having my own place without roommates to cockblock
-get back into good shape. Honestly I think you've got to just fight through this, although it's certainly easier when you have free time.

Post: #20

(07-02-2015 05:53 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(07-02-2015 05:50 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(07-02-2015 05:38 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  I agree stay in your job and get the experience.

You don't get valuable experience being a phone monkey in a call center.

I meant work experience, employers here want to see that you can hold down a job. Even if it is a call centre job.

Fuck those employers.

He worked there for fucking two years - how much longer should he stay there until those "employers" are happy.

Post: #21

Unless you work in the call center of a bank and you're networking internally, you have to quit ASAP. Travesty bolded that part for a reason. Call centers are dead ends where souls go to die. I'm speaking from experience. The only reason to work in one is if you will starve to death otherwise - and you'd better believe I'd consider dealing drugs first.

You have 40k in the bank and I'm assuming you can stay with your parents for the foreseeable future (no shame in that). Quit your worthless job and start taking action to move yourself in the direction that you want to go.

Post: #22

(07-02-2015 06:13 PM)donnie514 Wrote:  Your Canadian come and join the rest of us here in Alberta! You can get a job as construction laborer that pays 20$ starting salary with overtime you can clear 3500-4000 a month with that and that's the most basic job here. Get Paid and get in better shape at same time.

Quit your job, sell everything you don't need and drive up here and join the rest of us. . Figure out what you want to do over here away from your parents, dead end job and assuming loser friends who are in same boat as you.

You must move out of parents house ASAP. That is holding you back big time.

Agreed, you are in Canada and so have some unique options. I would suggest keeping your shit at your parents house and doing any of the following:
- Alberta oil sands
- Northern Ontario/Canada fly in/fly out mine work
- Northern Ontario/Canada/BC tree planting and then ask to stay on for other work
- Northern Ontario forest fire fighting

These are all high volume work options where you go into the work site, bust your balls for a month or two and get paid with no place to spend it and then crash somewhere cheap (your parents) until the next job/call comes up and collect unemployment.

People who have done this, with a goal in mind, have been able to pile up large stacks of cash and free themselves from being trapped in a Toronto job and real estate market. One guy, that was a lifetime forest fire fighter, would live at the firebase 4-6 months of the year (paid work accomodations) and then live on a sailboat in the florida keys for the other 8, while collecting unemployment. The money was OK but his overhead was super low.

Mind you, you cannot get married or have kids with this lifestyle.

Post: #23

I'm just surprised OP is making 40k working in a call center. I know accountants to be (still not done all tests) and even articling students (lawyers to be) making around that while living downtown.

Honestly the world is your apple. People always laugh at me when I tell them I plan to move to Cuba and live on 50-60k a year within 6-10 years. They think the horror of living like that and leaving the legal profession. Truth of the matter is as Vacancier pointed out money goes way way further elsewhere.

With the exception of the the very few elite earners here you will have a better lifestyle in the 2nd / 3rd world with much much less. There really aren't many people under 35 making the type of money required to have a great lifestyle in North America. Maybe 0.1%. The guys making real bread are 50+. And lets be real. A 50 year old making 500k+ a year will get less quality chicks here than a 65 year old man retired in SEA living on 1500 month in social security / pension to put things in perspective. Unless you have serious fame here you will have more fun chick wise elsewhere.

I'm not sure having a net worth of 15k is quite the amount that would allow me to consider jumping to live in the 2nd / 3rd world. Maybe try to save 6 figures and then make the move. It would provide you a lot more time and a decent base if you decided to move back.

I live like a squalid person here. Hardly drink / party. It sucks. But I save absolute bank.

Try to find something you truly enjoy doing. For me I absolutely love going to court for contested motions and trials. I could do that 24 / 7. But I'm not a big fan of paper work and days in the office. Every big win makes you feel like your on top of the world.

In your situation I'd recommend going to Alberta for a few years. You are young. Work non-stop. Try to save up a couple hundred thousand by the time you are 30. Then make the move elsewhere to teach english or even look into doing oil work in other parts of the globe.

It sounds like you are in far better shape then most 24 year olds. Most 24 year old graduates are in debt, living basically pay cheque to pay cheque. Many of my fellow law graduates are 100k+ in debt and now make only 40-60k / year!

I did B-school before law and many of my friends are still in debt from that and still make incomes similar to what you are making despite being good students and personable people.

Post: #24

(07-02-2015 02:06 PM)Trill Clinton Wrote:  How did you escape your dead end job? I’m just looking for advice, ideas, or even inspiration.

Any ideas, or stories of how you escaped?

No one will hire me, but my smart/good friends want to run companies with me. Go figure -_-

I'm building a company and working my hourly job trying to stack cash to run my company full time.

I started working from home which allows me to have the freedom to work my business while on the clock. I save money making healthy food instead of eating take out. I do my laundry, clean the house, and wash dishes on the clock. I save gas and put less wear and tear on my car from not commuting. I also am learning piano while on the clock. Working from home has been a game changer.

My advise, try and work from home.

Post: #25

tl;dr we have all had slumps, you have resources and a job, sometimes it is how we relate to our situation that truly affects our mental outlook, document what you are grateful for - seems like all you have is a list of frustrations, dig deep become intentional and do what you have to. No matter how many stories or advice anyone gives, you need to dig deep and motivate yourself.

OP,

Sounds like you are in a slump that we all have found ourselves in from time to time in our lives. It happens. While it seems like you have assessed your situation, I didn't see anything that you are happy about.

This may sound a bit touchy feely, but take an inventory of what you are happy about or grateful for. I get it you have a shit job and some goals that may feel out of reach but you are in the woods right now and may not be able to objectively see the good in your life. When someone is spinning/dwelling on just shit in his life, it just spins downward, you look for more shit to gripe about or be angry about. You have to get your mind space sort of cleaned up to then being able to get stuff done. Clean it up by either appreciating your situation or dig deep through the pain and start taking actions. Actions like, eating better if you can't work out. Diet is huge part of staying in shape, look into IF. If you are able to block out the pain then just go and do, but I am sensing you are just bogged down, shut down and can't muster the energy to do more. It seems like you feel like you have lost before trying. Or at least that is the vibe I am picking up.

Obviously, the commute is a killer, clearly those 3 hours would make a huge difference in your life, IF, big IF, you actually put those hours to use. A lot of guys piss away 3 hours of their lives daily, playing games, watching tv, etc. I'm guilty of that, usually when I am trying to learn something just out of curiosity without any actual purpose for it. But your situation and mine are different, I don't work for anyone.

Some quick thoughts:
1) If you have cheap school debt don't be in a hurry to pay it off.
2) Take a cheap vacation and reset your mind and outlook
3) Think about businesses you can start in the after hours
4) Are you an expert at anything? Cars, etc. Buy shit at deep discounts and flip them. I know guys who buy a couple cars a year and some nice extra cash. Put that money to work but under your control
5) It has been many years since reading this book, but it was about a Jew during the Holocaust and how he learned to relate to the situation, saved his life if I recall right. Two things occurred for me when reading this, I really don't have it that bad and how I look at a situation deeply impacts how I can deal with a situation. The cook is called "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, there are pdf versions floating out there if you don't wanna pay the 5 bucks, even a 3 dollar kindle version
6) Work on your diet if you can't get to the gym - look into intermittent fasting. Look into body weight exercises you can do in the morning at home. Pushups, situps and pullups can do a lot. Install a pull up bar. Get up earlier to work out.
7) Finally make a list of shit you are happy about - even try to flip some of the things into good things. Like "I am so lucky my parents let me live with them and don't charge me rent and I get to see my parents regularly. It might sound soft, but life is 99% mental.

You are down right now, but some fresh perspective may put you back on the right track. You need to be intentional, like the man who lifts a car by himself when someone is trapped. Find that certainty that you know you will be fine, that this is the journey, but you are the sort of person who be successful in life.

I'll end with this. Only to say regardless of it all, you must push forward, fight and battle for what you want in your life. To pick yourself up when no one will do it for you. Often what separates two nearly identical men is how much heart they have.

I'll share with you one of my favorite quotes, I have posted this a few times on RVF but I think this quote represents the type of men that make it in life.

The Man In The Area - Theodore Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

(07-02-2015 03:32 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  Firstly, you're probably trapped in an energy well. You don't have the energy to escape because the work and the commute drains you too much, so there is little remaining time and energy to discover and work on a way out.

I rarely hear people talk about energy. I use the bucket of energy example. You only have so much emotional energy. It is used to handle all aspects of your life, the more bad shit you have going on, the less energy you have to spend on doing good/productive activities, because so much energy is spent trying to have the bad stuff overwhelm you. So with what good energy you have left, spend it cleaning off the bad so you free up more energy.