Post: #1

Im terribly awful at actually making the move. Talking to new woman i am fine with, and I got one the other day but i just said bye to her after walking her part way home as one of her friends was with her.
Im meeting her tomorrow now.
Still not sure if im just meeting her for craic and bants or if i will want to make a move, but if i do decide i want to make a move, I would like to know how to..
And surely you guys know how to do that, Im just awkward at actually going in for a kiss or saying i like you or whatever.
I dont have a standard procedure, ive been in long term relationships most of my life. (22 now).

Oh, relevant information, i will be meeting her at night for drinks, probably with her friends in a pub.
So i would love some solid info of what to do when the moment is right, or how to make the moment right or whatevs. Pretty sure shes into me, otherwise she shouldnt be inviting me out, only met her the other day.

Post: #2

What's a craic and bants?

Post: #3

Craic and bants in this Irish context means casual conversation and fun.

Craic - fun, mischief, jokes, funny event or story, just having a laugh. 'Also what is the craic?' means 'what is happening' or 'how things are going'. 'Any craic' means are things fun or if there is any news or social buzz going on.

Banter - casual fun conversation, joking verbally with other people, Irish style conversation of making fun of the other person or other people

Craic is more the 'doing' and banter is the 'talking'.


To answer the OP there is no right time to make the move. Once you start feeling like you should be escalating just do. When you tell a joke get slightly physical for a few moments and then release. Just up that over the night as the drink kicks in. Its Ireland man - get her smashed and go for the sloppy make out in the corner during last call haha.

Post: #4

Not sure exactly what you mean by making a move, assuming either going for the kiss or starting the kino.

Regarding the kiss, it seems like something a lot of new guys get themselves worked up about unnecessarily, I know it sure used to freak me out. But honestly most girls don't seem to think its a big deal at all and if she's feeling you even remotely she'll likely go right along with it. And if she doesn't go for it then that's also good because you know where you stand and can cut your losses and save wasted time. The only other things I should mention are that you shouldn't go in cold, make sure there's been some physical contact first. And be the one to end the kiss, leave her wanting more.

If its the kino you're referring to then the solution is pretty easy. I remember when I was having trouble with this issue when starting out I used the search function and found some classic GManifesto wisdom: just take it. At first I was thinking what the eff does that mean? But the more experience I get, the more I see how spot-on that advice is. You're a man and she's a pretty young woman with soft beautiful skin, who smells delicious, obviously you want to touch her. So just do it! The key is to not make a big deal about it, just act like its the most natural thing in the world (because it is).

Casually give her hand/arm a rub, when she's laughing at something you said or vice versa give her a light shove on the shoulder, grab her hand and hold it if you're walking somewhere. Simple stuff like that to get started. The biggest issue to worry about is not getting stuck in a position where you can't make any contact, ie. across a table from one another. Like with a kiss, if she's into you she'll eat this stuff up.

The first couple times I went on a first date and didn't try to make anything happen I was so mad at myself, I was mentally kicking myself the next few days. And after feeling like that a few times I haven't really hesitated since, you'll likely be the same. You just gotta go for it, regret is worse than rejection.

Post: #5

"Im just awkward at actually going in for a kiss or saying i like you or whatever. I dont have a standard procedure, ive been in long term relationships most of my life. (22 now)."

Something doesn't jive with OP's question. He says he has been in LTR's most of his life...being in LTR is impossible without kino and kissing. Just do what you did to get into those relationships, this question is better asked by a teen whose never been in one.
My 2 cents.

Post: #6

(06-30-2015 10:17 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Something doesn't jive with OP's question. He says he has been in LTR's most of his life...being in LTR is impossible without kino and kissing. Just do what you did to get into those relationships, this question is better asked by a teen whose never been in one.

Nah it sounds reasonable to me. With the LTR(s) it was probably a case of explicitly dating someone when or before that stuff started to happen. One of the biggest components of game it seems to me is rapidly getting comfortable with someone and more importantly getting them feel the same with you. I'd bet that's what the issue stems from

Post: #7

For kissing: I think the best move is to go in when there is that sort of moment in the conversation where she's almost looking through you. I'm not sure how it happens, but it's like their logical brain shuts down and they're running in instinct or something. Just look in her eyes and you'll see when this happens. It is pretty freaky, but someone on the forum gave me that advice and I think it really put some of my closing game on another level.

Post: #8

You didn't come to a dating board

"Probably with her friends in the pub"

You need to suggest a different pub, because it's rare that girls like to be seen getting the moves put on them. It's like a fat boy going to a personal trainer, he doesn't want people he knows to watch him huff and puff. Strangers are fine, but his friends and family will never let him hear the end of it.

As for when you start to put the moves on, you start from the second you see her.

The moves start with little things.

Hug when you meet
Put her in her seat
Help her get up by extending your hand
Pull her through the crowd, or push her by putting your hand in the small of her back
Thumb wrestle or play some other hand games
Get her to move from the bar to a booth or table.
Have her hold your pint, have her pay for a round

You *have* to do these things for a few reasons
- she has to get used to the feeling of your skin on hers
- if you touch her and she flinches but also continues the date, that means not yet, she's not ready, but do try again
- eventually she will be ready
- you order her to do things, because she has to accept you as a leader. If she won't sit in a different booth at your direction, you can still bang but it will always be on her timetable. You went mmk won't be in any sort if control, and that's what happens when you date, add opposed to having game.

Do your Irish banter the whole time. As she warms up to you, keeps the conversation going, touches you, laughs at your jokes, then you go out for a smoke, or ask her to come with you outside.

When she is somewhat alone with you
After she has enjoyed herself
Way after the point of you first touching her

That's when you attempt to kiss her.

To kiss
- isolated, no prying eyes
- look at her eyes
- look at her lips
- back at her eyes
Lean in, engage in lip to lip contact
- bring in your hands to around her waist
- move one up to the middle of her back, and the other one to the back of her head to cradle it as you kiss her
- slip a smidgen of your tongue into her mouth at first

Then end the kiss. If the kiss was good, the next kiss should be on autopilot. You'll know if it was good if she kisses you back enthusiastically.

Please set aside a nice 25+ year old ginger with a nice set of knockers.

WIA

Post: #9

So, WestIndian and others, your post was lovely, and all this sounds lovely, Ill keep it as a guide for future.
Being the cunt that I am, I want some tailor-made advice.
I just met her, it was a bit awkward at first, but it warmed up over time.
Unforunately,
I did fuck all because I felt a bit awkward meting her again and we were among friends.
At some point she says she has to leave early cause she has work early the next morning,
I could probally still have invited her back to my place right?
Instead i stood there smiling like an idiot as she hugged me to say goodbye.
I thought about asking her for a kiss to say goodbye,
but it just felt it would be terribly forced, and one of her friends was still behind her so he would see it, which put me off.
(here let me just shift you here before you go in front of your male friend, grand right?)
Didnt do that.
So she hugged me and said goodbye and invited me to a party, which is tomorrow, which I need to pull a result from.
I was nervous on this one, I wasnt as drunk as first time i met her and there was sudden pressure to get something from it, where as before it didnt matter.
And this is very rusty for me,
So I let her go.
Nevertheless, I feel more confident that shes in to me now, and not just drunk talkative me, but also me when im not super awesome. She even said she likes it when i smile, and who the fuck says that about someone unless they dig them?
So This party now, It will be with her friends, I cant avoid that,
BUT she is fucking off back to Italy on Sunday, so i dont think she'd really care to much about being chaste in front of these guys now, its more now or never for her then it is for me really.

So if i want to make a move now by getting her on her own and looking at her like you siad, what do i say to get her alone in the first place?
Step by step it more, detail it like a godamn Novel cause I need this taking place in my head before i go to do it tomorrow.
Get her alone:Look at her:Lean in. Grand, Can do that.
Once i commit to the act i can do the rest, just give me a getting alone starting point to continue from please,
otherwise ill just skirt around the whole issue waiting for the better moment which doesnt come, and not do anything when its too late.

Btw for guy that was questioning LTR and me being shit with women, with both my LTR one was a friend first and the other i had like seven dates with before i even held hands, so yeah, even a snail looks like its moving fast to me. :L

Post: #10

You're doing too much here, slow down. She's not the only woman in the world by a long shot.

At the party,
1) just get her by herself, and
2) do the "kiss" sequence above.
It's called the triangular kiss.

3) If that works and she kisses you back, it's a party with alcohol, and you're both young. She likes you. You like her. Let those under 30 hormones do what they do.

You can sneak off behind the bushes or whatever. It's really not that complicated

WIA

Post: #11

Been there before. The real problem is that you are not sufficiently attracted to the girl. Making a move on an ugly girl is hard to do. But if a ten is in front of you, making a move comes naturally to a straight red blooded man.