Post: #1

Quote:The Sex Therapists Of Silicon Valley

“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.

While being a virgin at 40 may be extreme, Dan is one of many tech guys who are driving business for the sex therapists of the San Francisco Bay Area. The counselors I’ve spoken with say that anywhere between 50 to 90 percent of their clientele are tech workers, and the vast majority of them are heterosexual men. (Tech employees were estimated in 2011 to account for only 12 percent of workers in the Bay Area.)

This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.

“These are the tropes of tech development,” says Elizabeth McGrath, his sex therapist, who shared his story with me. (McGrath did not give me her patient’s name, and asked me to use a pseudonym when writing about him.) “To his mind, and his processing, there was no desire to prioritize anything other than that.” She spends much of their sessions trying to teach him the very basics of talking to women.

That’s a frequent focus for the sex therapists in Silicon Valley and surrounding areas. “[These men] often spend their time in environments that are mostly male, like in school and tech offices,” explains another therapist, Celeste Hirschman. “So they don’t have a lot of practice just relating to women, period, let alone learning how to meet, pickup, seduce, touch.” Hirschman follows a less-traditional therapy method known as Somatica, which is “body-based” and allows for non-genital touch between the counselor and client, the idea being that there are things that can’t be learned through talk alone. For example, she will wrestle with clients just to get them out of their heads and into their bodies.

Another common issue that these therapists encounter with tech clients is they treat sex like a line of broken code in need of debugging, or a mathematical equation. “That’s the crux of trying to interact with a human, though: there isn’t a formula,” says McGrath. “Human connection is not formulaic. Does it have statistics, can you look at data, can you research it and quantify it? Sure. But in one-to-one, it is always variable. That’s where those things fail.” This isn’t entirely unique to programmers — a look at glossy magazine headlines or popular self-help books suggests that many people are interested in finding a magic key to unlock good sex — but she says, “For people in tech, it’s just a little bit harder.”

Vanessa Marin, a psychotherapist who specializes in sex therapy, says her tech clients are too much in their own heads. “A lot of what I hear from my clients is they’re sitting doing a code all day long and then you get home and it’s trying to make that transition into being with another human being and trying to connect with someone on an emotional level and be present with them,” she said. “It just feels a little jarring. They don’t have the time to ease back into being back at home — or they might still be on their computers, checking work email from their phone.” Of course, people in general find it hard to unplug these days, but she says, “It’s definitely more common in the tech industry.”

Add to that insane work days that never seem to truly end. “A big thing that I see with tech couples and individuals is a complete lack of time and work-life balance,” says Hirschman. She’s seeing a couple now in which both partners are techies and the wife only wants to have quickies so that she can get back to her long to-do list.

McGrath is working with a couple in which the woman is a yoga instructor and the man works for a startup. His work takes so much out of him that he tends to treat sex like a chore to be checked off at the end of the day. “That doesn’t feel like present, connected sex; that feels like going-to-the-gym sex. It’s like ‘I’ll get on the treadmill and I’ll run and I’ll feel better,’ and she doesn’t want to be a treadmill.” The New York Times recently published a feature about tech guys too busy for real meals who subsist on protein powder shakes — clearly, that mentality also applies to sex.

These kinds of consequences exist in any job with high stress and long hours. It just so happens that in the Bay Area, tech is that dominant field. Ian Kerner, a New York-based sex therapist, sees a similar phenomenon with bankers. “Many don’t have time for long-term relationships so they rely on a steady diet of hookups and are using apps that offer a panoply of sexual options with immediate gratification,” he says. “For those who are in long-term relationships, many also grapple with low libido due to stress and anxiety, or a problematic relationship with their digital devices.” Many times, these bankers can’t even turn their devices off during therapy, he says.

In a sense, tech guys are the new bankers—at least in San Francisco. Inevitably, the money that can be made in the industry impacts dating and relationships. Hirschman says some of her clients will downplay or hide the money they make out of fear that it’s the primary reason a woman will be interested in them. “I had one client I was just talking to the other day, he said, ‘I don’t know if I want to bring women to my house right away because it’s a big, huge house and suddenly they’re wanting to nest after the second date and they haven’t even gotten to know me yet!’”

McGrath believes that while there may be women out there on the prowl for a Google billionaire, these men’s fears largely come from deep-seated personal insecurity. “Part of that is, ‘A woman couldn’t be interested in me for me,’” she says. “That is a common thread for many men who are in the tech industry. They have never been seen as ‘the boyfriend’ or felt attractive or sexy. They felt dorky or like outsiders.”

It’s important to note that sex therapists are necessarily going to see only people who are having trouble with sex, so their experiences with tech workers certainly aren’t an accurate representation of the field as a whole. (It’s also true that the definitions of “tech worker,” “startup” and “tech company” are becoming increasingly diffuse.) There are those who perfectly embody the anti-social pocket-protector cliché, but many are socially competent, even savvy. McGrath points out, too: “There are plenty of what is commonly referred to as bro-dudes in tech that are very successfully sexual, to the point of detriment to them and the people they are dating,” she says. “But those guys aren’t coming to me.”

The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”

http://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/the-sex-therapists-of-silicon-valley/

Just goes to show how money isn't going to get you girls if you don't at least of basic amount of game. Also doesn't help that the sex therapist is a woman.

Though it might be a good opportunity to start a "game-consulting" business there.

Post: #2

So, if I'm reading this right....

Female "sex therapist" > male "game counselor"

Also had a laugh at the woman saying "there may be some" women looking for a tech billionaire, but it's mostly in the guy's head.

Post: #3

Rant time.

This shit right here is what really pisses me off.

First of all, they HAD to start with the dominant liberal "privilege" narrative right off the bat. Essentially casting blame on all of the problems liberals are fighting against on "Dan", just in case you felt any sympathy for the guy during the article.

I remember there were similar articles years ago about the rise of dating coaches and the PUA scene in SF, and now its counselors and therapists. This is what happens when you demonize male sexuality and desire for years, and try to fix it in a "fem centric" way. Nothing will be fixed this way. Is she really helping "Dan"? Could his money be better spend on some fly clothes and Roosh books? Maybe he's heard of genuinely helpful resources like the forum, etc, but it's been demonized in such a way that he will never touch the stuff and thinks it's "evil", thank's to the 24/7 "men are evil" narrative in the liberal media

I feel for the guy, I really do, because I come from the same world and I live in the same world. You spend your life being a people pleaser, succeeding, doing things the "right" way, and yet something is off. I thank God every day that I found PUA stuff and eventually the manosphere, it gave me the strength and belief in myself to take charge of my own life. It let me to help myself, when nobody else was willing to.

Imagine slowly dying from a disease, but the entire world is telling you that you're healthy and strong. That's the state of nerdy tech guys. Now imagine being CURED and people telling you that you were better off sick - that's my reality.

I don't know how the "finance douche bro" stereotype started - but it is helpful. Guys have the money because they put in the time, they are in charge of their sexuality and good for them.

There needs to be a "tech douche bro" revolution- tech guys need to be considered douchebags with options - but it wont happen any time soon. Most of my tech buddies settle for the first piece of used up pussy that comes their way. It's pathetic. These guys are the real masters of the universe, the future, the true men in control, they need to act like it.

NYC finance guys act like it - thats why NYC women are known to be hotter than just about anywhere in the USA

SF tech guys dont act like it - and coincidentally ROK publishes this today - http://www.returnofkings.com/63824/10-re...n-torontos


I make good money, shit, I might even be worth 7 figures next year if the startup i work for does well. I'm gonna lead by example - make paper and fuck hot chicks only. Believe that.


Oh, and the final kicker - the article does not have comments enabled - we wouldn't want out sexless tech slaves reading this to get any ideas as to how to REALLY get laid and to question the narrative in any way. Pathetic.

Post: #4

go spend a weekend in San Jose and tell me how "sexy" the valley looks after that.

Post: #5

Hypocrysies everywhere. Male PUA = bad. Female "Sex Therapist" PUA = good. As we've seen in gamergate apparently people in tech/gamers are all dudebros and neckbeard basement dwelling virgins at the same time.

Post: #6

Software Developer Here.

What the article's author is stating rings true 200 %. At least in every shop I have been 60 - 80 percent of the developers are borderline Aspergers. Im talking about usually people ranging from 25-45.

People that cant usually get laid if their life depends on it, and the girls were throwing at themselves.

Post: #7

The funny thing is, the female "sex therapist" wants to continue getting paid (aka not getting you laid), whereas a legitimate male "game counselor" actually wants to get you results (aka get you laid). Best advice for SF guys is to read the RVF for free.

Post: #8

Quote:Vanessa Marin, a psychotherapist who specializes in sex therapy, says her tech clients are too much in their own heads. “A lot of what I hear from my clients is they’re sitting doing a code all day long and then you get home and it’s trying to make that transition into being with another human being and trying to connect with someone on an emotional level and be present with them,” she said. “It just feels a little jarring. They don’t have the time to ease back into being back at home — or they might still be on their computers, checking work email from their phone.” Of course, people in general find it hard to unplug these days, but she says, “It’s definitely more common in the tech industry.”

This is true. I work for a startup tech division of a STEM company. After work, I hit the gym, and it'd take the first half hour or so for my brain to reboot to get out of work mode and into beast mode. I generally don't like scheduling date drinks straight after work for that reason, I need to go do something physical first.

Our SF tech guys here should stop wrestling with the female therapists and take up lifting or MMA though. Way better for everything, cheaper and more sustainable.

Post: #9

It's still an interesting article. Despite the legitimate criticisms of the editorial bias, the counselors cited have some good points and a very good understanding of why left brained guys tend to have problem with women. As is frequently pointed out here, women are feels > logic....so coming at them from the very strong analytical and logical frame that tech/finance types have is a recipe for failure. You need to be back into your physical/raw self before you've got good odds of attracting women.

Post: #10

Also: ironically enough the tendency for finance to be a male dominated, douchebag filled space is a big part of why I'm interested in that field. For all their faults I'd much rather spend 12 hrs/day with them than with effeminte, social justice warrior aspie nerds.

Post: #11

Not to bring race into this, but I noticed a lot of hot Asian women will date socially inept white programmers if the guy is a good financial prospect. They
seem to respond better to provider game than other races.

Post: #12

(05-29-2015 07:25 PM)BlueOcean Wrote:  Not to bring race into this, but I noticed a lot of hot Asian women will date socially inept white programmers if the guy is a good financial prospect. They
seem to respond better to provider game than other races.

In my experience - being a moderately successful white guy almost always guarantees you prime aged Asian girls. Asians, and this includes Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, etc, split their "fuck alphas, settle for betas" years almost exclusively by race - so being white is a giant advantage.
I find it really funny that growing up I heard that Asian girl / White Guy couples are caused by a "yellow fever" among white guys, but experience shows that its driven mostly by Asian girls loving white dudes.

stats prove this - https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/index....ian-girls/

The thing is, some don't see you as a person, they see you as a status symbol. Every white guy to them is the "Chad Thundercock Quarterback finance alpha" type. Which comes with its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are the same as the idea that black guys have giant cocks - that idea persists because it gets black guys laid. Black guys aren't gonna go around and say they have normal dicks just like white guys arent gonna go around and say they dont run the world - theres too much prime Asian pussy on the line. Just being white talking to an Asian girl is a giant plus. They are building you up already in their heads.

The downside is that when you are not the living breaving symbol of privilege in some way - you become invisible. I found that out the hard way.

When i found out I had cancer - so many people reached out to me from all walks of life to wish me well or offering their help. Some people haven't reached out in any way shape or form. All of them were Asian girls i used to date/fuck. Having cancer meant I was no longer their picture of a strong white privileged male. So I was as good as dead in their eyes.

Sucks, but it's the truth

Post: #13

I'll tell this as a native Bay Area resident. I have lived here all my life and these tech guys are up against a nearly impossible hill to climb. The ratio level for men to women is beyond fucked and heavily favors girls (you will see this all the time whenever you go to night venues in the Bay). Add to that this SJW ground zero and you have every single nightmare for men who want sane chicks.

Those tech guys should work for 2 years and then bounce from the Bay if they want to date (or even have some basic nightlife). The Bay Area is extremely overpriced and the only affordable areas are out in the outer Suburbs that are grandma friendly. Even if you manage to make it to live in San Francisco, expect to pay rent that's up to the stratosphere and living in a city that's as dirty and mismanaged as a third world city. Adding matters to worse, you still deal with the bad ratios and the extreme SJW attitude of people from SF.

All techies reading this message, please go to other areas. The Bay is not the place that you will find your Mrs. The Bay has very little to offer to any sane man.

Post: #14

(05-29-2015 10:43 PM)Bones707 Wrote:  I'll tell this as a native Bay Area resident. I have lived here all my life and these tech guys are up against a nearly impossible hill to climb. The ratio level for men to women is beyond fucked and heavily favors girls (you will see this all the time whenever you go to night venues in the Bay). Add to that this SJW ground zero and you have every single nightmare for men who want sane chicks.

Those tech guys should work for 2 years and then bounce from the Bay if they want to date (or even have some basic nightlife). The Bay Area is extremely overpriced and the only affordable areas are out in the outer Suburbs that are grandma friendly. Even if you manage to make it to live in San Francisco, expect to pay rent that's up to the stratosphere and living in a city that's as dirty and mismanaged as a third world city. Adding matters to worse, you still deal with the bad ratios and the extreme SJW attitude of people from SF.

All techies reading this message, please go to other areas. The Bay is not the place that you will find your Mrs. The Bay has very little to offer to any sane man.

Prior to my redpill SF was already out the window because of the stupid high rents. Now it's not on my radar to even touch with a ten foot pole. I'll hit up Austin for the SXSW, awesome venues on 6th St and young Southern talent at UT, thank you very much.

Post: #15

(05-29-2015 10:43 PM)Bones707 Wrote:  I'll tell this as a native Bay Area resident. I have lived here all my life and these tech guys are up against a nearly impossible hill to climb. The ratio level for men to women is beyond fucked and heavily favors girls (you will see this all the time whenever you go to night venues in the Bay). Add to that this SJW ground zero and you have every single nightmare for men who want sane chicks.

Those tech guys should work for 2 years and then bounce from the Bay if they want to date (or even have some basic nightlife). The Bay Area is extremely overpriced and the only affordable areas are out in the outer Suburbs that are grandma friendly. Even if you manage to make it to live in San Francisco, expect to pay rent that's up to the stratosphere and living in a city that's as dirty and mismanaged as a third world city. Adding matters to worse, you still deal with the bad ratios and the extreme SJW attitude of people from SF.

All techies reading this message, please go to other areas. The Bay is not the place that you will find your Mrs. The Bay has very little to offer to any sane man.

Compare the Bay Area Vs LA vs San Diego.

Post: #16

(05-29-2015 07:25 PM)BlueOcean Wrote:  Not to bring race into this, but I noticed a lot of hot Asian women will date socially inept white programmers if the guy is a good financial prospect. They
seem to respond better to provider game than other races.

So what does that tell you?

By the way, Strangelove put the WWE Smackdown on that article.

Post: #17

I doubt "Dan" exists. Elizabeth McGrath is a whore...er...escort...er..."sex therapist" who's trying to attract new clients so she gets with the author for a great story about successful guys who can't get laid. Notice "Dan" is a 40 (not 39 or 41) year old virgin.

Post: #18

(05-30-2015 02:37 AM)jariel Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 07:25 PM)BlueOcean Wrote:  Not to bring race into this, but I noticed a lot of hot Asian women will date socially inept white programmers if the guy is a good financial prospect. They
seem to respond better to provider game than other races.

So what does that tell you?

Highly-paid doctor/tech/finance/corporate type caucasian dudes will do very well
in the Bay Area. Not so much blue collar guys.

Quote:By the way, Strangelove put the WWE Smackdown on that article.

Yeah, his post was excellent.

Post: #19

When a fisherman wants to catch a fish, he consults an established or more experienced fisherman...not the fish.

The fish plays for her own team and will sabotage the fisherman because the mere fact that a fisherman is consulting a fish for advise, shows that the fisherman does not have the skills to catch fish, hence sabotage due to disrespect.

Post: #20

(05-29-2015 07:57 PM)Kid Strangelove Wrote:  In my experience - being a moderately successful white guy almost always guarantees you prime aged Asian girls. Asians, and this includes Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, etc, split their "fuck alphas, settle for betas" years almost exclusively by race - so being white is a giant advantage.
I find it really funny that growing up I heard that Asian girl / White Guy couples are caused by a "yellow fever" among white guys, but experience shows that its driven mostly by Asian girls loving white dudes.

stats prove this - https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/index....ian-girls/

The thing is, some don't see you as a person, they see you as a status symbol. Every white guy to them is the "Chad Thundercock Quarterback finance alpha" type. Which comes with its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are the same as the idea that black guys have giant cocks - that idea persists because it gets black guys laid. Black guys aren't gonna go around and say they have normal dicks just like white guys arent gonna go around and say they dont run the world - theres too much prime Asian pussy on the line. Just being white talking to an Asian girl is a giant plus. They are building you up already in their heads.

The downside is that when you are not the living breaving symbol of privilege in some way - you become invisible. I found that out the hard way.

When i found out I had cancer - so many people reached out to me from all walks of life to wish me well or offering their help. Some people haven't reached out in any way shape or form. All of them were Asian girls i used to date/fuck. Having cancer meant I was no longer their picture of a strong white privileged male. So I was as good as dead in their eyes.

Sucks, but it's the truth

Good luck with your fight against cancer. Kick ass and then get back in the game.

It's a harsh and ugly world that we live in unfortunately. Seeing the world for what it is can be unpleasant, but I think there are several truths learned here:

1. You know who your true friends are when you're in trouble.
2. Women are fickle, selfish, and disloyal.
3. Feminists like to complain that men "use women for their own selfish needs," but the opposite is even more true - women like to use attractive men for sex and beta providers for money. When you no longer can give them what they seek, they'll toss you aside and move on.

By the way, I totally agree with your observation that Asian&Indian girls split their alpha fucks/beta bucks by race. Though I noticed that Asian girls actually seem much more sexually liberal and open to interracial marriage in general than the more conservative-thinking Indian girls.

I also noticed that when an Indian girl does ride the carousel, it's exclusively with white dudes and never their own.... but then these girls get a medical/MBA Indian dude to wife them up when they're starting to hit the wall. Compared to Asian women, Indian women are far more racially minded about giving their alpha fucks exclusively to white men and then usually using Indian dudes for beta bucks. Asian girls do this to a somewhat lesser extent.

At least you didn't marry these bitches though. Think about the beta doctor dude who marries some Asian/Indian ice queen princess. He's in for a lifetime of pain.

Post: #21

(05-29-2015 10:51 PM)swuglyfe Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 10:43 PM)Bones707 Wrote:  I'll tell this as a native Bay Area resident. I have lived here all my life and these tech guys are up against a nearly impossible hill to climb. The ratio level for men to women is beyond fucked and heavily favors girls (you will see this all the time whenever you go to night venues in the Bay). Add to that this SJW ground zero and you have every single nightmare for men who want sane chicks.

Those tech guys should work for 2 years and then bounce from the Bay if they want to date (or even have some basic nightlife). The Bay Area is extremely overpriced and the only affordable areas are out in the outer Suburbs that are grandma friendly. Even if you manage to make it to live in San Francisco, expect to pay rent that's up to the stratosphere and living in a city that's as dirty and mismanaged as a third world city. Adding matters to worse, you still deal with the bad ratios and the extreme SJW attitude of people from SF.

All techies reading this message, please go to other areas. The Bay is not the place that you will find your Mrs. The Bay has very little to offer to any sane man.

Prior to my redpill SF was already out the window because of the stupid high rents. Now it's not on my radar to even touch with a ten foot pole. I'll hit up Austin for the SXSW, awesome venues on 6th St and young Southern talent at UT, thank you very much.

The high rent is deterring most people and especially chicks. Whenever I read some of the posts about the Bay, I always warn people about the Bay because any sane man would hate the Bay.

From what I hear, Austin is still a great deal but word has hit out far too wide. For me, I'm checking the Twin Cities so that I can at least be in a big city and have the coffee and physically active culture we have here in Northern California.

Post: #22

With demographics as abysmal as they are I don't see game being of much help in turning around the dating fortunes of these siliconvalleycels.

Post: #23

(05-30-2015 11:03 AM)Bones707 Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 10:51 PM)swuglyfe Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 10:43 PM)Bones707 Wrote:  I'll tell this as a native Bay Area resident. I have lived here all my life and these tech guys are up against a nearly impossible hill to climb. The ratio level for men to women is beyond fucked and heavily favors girls (you will see this all the time whenever you go to night venues in the Bay). Add to that this SJW ground zero and you have every single nightmare for men who want sane chicks.

Those tech guys should work for 2 years and then bounce from the Bay if they want to date (or even have some basic nightlife). The Bay Area is extremely overpriced and the only affordable areas are out in the outer Suburbs that are grandma friendly. Even if you manage to make it to live in San Francisco, expect to pay rent that's up to the stratosphere and living in a city that's as dirty and mismanaged as a third world city. Adding matters to worse, you still deal with the bad ratios and the extreme SJW attitude of people from SF.

All techies reading this message, please go to other areas. The Bay is not the place that you will find your Mrs. The Bay has very little to offer to any sane man.

Prior to my redpill SF was already out the window because of the stupid high rents. Now it's not on my radar to even touch with a ten foot pole. I'll hit up Austin for the SXSW, awesome venues on 6th St and young Southern talent at UT, thank you very much.

The high rent is deterring most people and especially chicks. Whenever I read some of the posts about the Bay, I always warn people about the Bay because any sane man would hate the Bay.

From what I hear, Austin is still a great deal but word has hit out far too wide. For me, I'm checking the Twin Cities so that I can at least be in a big city and have the coffee and physically active culture we have here in Northern California.

I lived in the Bay for a decade and Bones707 is spot on. Avoid at all costs. Coincidentally I was in Austin last weekend and while I liked the abundance of UT tail running about, it was hipster hell. Everywhere I went there were hipsters sporting shitty tattoos and talking about idiotic topics. It reminded me of CA except everyone is trying extra hard to be cool because it's not CA.

Post: #24

This is why I work in finance... most of the tech guys I'm friends with have no game and tend to be push overs. The worst part is when I try to guide them to the light, they simply react with denial. Oh well. They'll probably marry some disgusting land manatee.

Bones707 - I've always enjoyed the twin cities. Decent amount of culture, easy to get to nature (if you enjoy outdoor activities), and the Mayo Clinic is a short drive away for your annual physical.

Oh and the government in Minnesota isn't completely fucked up and has some decent priorities.

Post: #25

(05-30-2015 03:55 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  I doubt "Dan" exists. Elizabeth McGrath is a whore...er...escort...er..."sex therapist" who's trying to attract new clients so she gets with the author for a great story about successful guys who can't get laid. Notice "Dan" is a 40 (not 39 or 41) year old virgin.

Exactly what I was thinking. These articles are all alike - start with a made up stock character, throw in some bias, and a few facts about the local area (lots of techies, nerds, etc - so what?) and call it a day.

The minute I saw the line about privilege it was all over.


With therapists of any kind, though, it is true that there is zero incentive for them to solve your problem quickly or offer anything very helpful too early on in the engagement. The financial rewards favor a long series of sessions and executive hand holding to pay their way. What good would it do to be up front and give game like advice (assuming a female could ever be helpful there - which they cant)? There's no money in that. I saw a good friend seal his downfall into his mid forties by finishing it off with a female therapist who no doubt gave him toxic advice. Thought about writing an article about it as a warning piece to young me, but the subject has been covered ad nauseum.