Post: #26

LIFE requires lots of energy!

Especially, if you want to accomplish something great, something that few men will ever do, or even try to do.

Make a lot of money, build a business, build a great body, learn a language, raise a family, maintain a career.. Which one of these things does NOT require lots of energy?

If you want to accomplish great things, you must invest energy!

(05-09-2015 01:15 PM)RedParadigm Wrote:  It doesn't matter how good you are

I must disagree here..

The better my game has become, the less energy I have had to use.

When my game was bad, I wasted a lot of energy.

Now that my game is much better, I have learned to use my energy more efficiently.

(05-09-2015 01:15 PM)RedParadigm Wrote:  as you get older 30+ it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain the energy

I must disagree again..

As a man gets older, he should learn to better control his mind.

As a man gets older, he should learn to better regulate his physical and mental energies.

As a man gets older, he should know himself better and know what he wants.

As I have gotten older, I have learned to save my energy for the things that are really important to me and NOT WASTE ENERGY on things that I do not value.

I might have less total energy than I did when I was younger, but, the energy that I do have, I am able to distribute much more efficiently and effectively.

(05-09-2015 01:15 PM)RedParadigm Wrote:  It's actually worse than a boxing match or a basketball game.

Not for me.

As a 40 year old man, boxing and basketball require huge amounts of energy. Physical energy.

Game is more about mental energy.

At 40, I am much better at managing, conserving, and channeling my mental energy.

At 40, talking to a pretty, young girl is refreshing.

What wears me out is trying to play basketball with guys in their 20s.

***

I suspect that you are wasting a lot of energy because you are trying to entertain the people around you.

Stop trying to entertain THEM. Start entertaining YOURSELF!

This is much more invigorating and refreshing and it will cause you to reveal your authentic personality, which will in turn make you more attractive to girls.

Post: #27

^^^

Giovonny's excellent post above made me think of this chapter review I did for the Albert Ellis Guide to Rational Living book.

/thread-28873-...#pid589898

(11-28-2013 09:50 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Chapter 19 – Overcoming Inertia & Getting Creatively Absorbed

This chapter starts out with Irrational Belief # 10 The idea that you can achieve maximum happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively and uncommittedly enjoying yourself.

This notion is irrational for several reasons:

1.You need downtime and rest, but if your life is completely about doing nothing and resting, you will probably not experience much happiness. Passive activities like reading and watching movies are relaxing and nice to a degree, but a steady and exclusive diet of that type of passive living often leads to dullness and apathy.

2.Intelligent people tend to need some more absorbing activity to feel alive and happy. Meaning having complex, absorbing and challenging interests.

3.Happiness comes from absorption in outside people and events.

4. Three main forms of absorptions are (a) loving or feeling absorbed in other people (b) creating something © Being absorbed in ideas (philosophizing). Prolonged vegetating minimizes you fully living because you are not absorbed in one of these things.

5.Many people do not get absorbed with an activity because it’s easier to sit on your ass than get started. If you push yourself to get started, you will probably enjoy the absorbing activity more than the passivity you initially seem to prefer.

6.People who live passive and lazy lives often say “nothing interest me.” Often times that’s just a way for them to avoid failure. Or they may try something and give up on it too early before they give themselves enough time to get good at it and thus enjoy it.

7.Inertia and inaction, especially when motivated by the fear of failure, blocks the development of achievement-confidence.

8.You require action to break the pattern of your self-defeating behavior. If you have habits that block your happiness, you have to work very hard against those habits. It’s hard work. For example, if you want to get good at approaching girls, you need to break your discomfort avoiding habits and do things that are not comfortable and “normal” to how you are used to doing things. You can read about game all you want, but at some point you have to actually get off the couch and talk to real girls – including ones who might not like you.

9.Inertia feeds on itself. The more you avoid something – especially due to anxiety – the more you get used to not doing it, and the harder it gets to break out of the rut.

What does Ellis mean by being absorbed? He recommends getting vitally absorbed in some persons or things outside yourself. Girls for example. You can also get absorbed in certain activities that are challenging. He gives an example of being attached to art or your profession. I would say getting good with girls is an absorbing activity. It’s complex, and you can use your analytical mind to break it down and figure out how to do better – like a puzzle. You can spend years learning about it and getting better. I’m absorbed trying to put a new angle on game – by adapting REBT to it. I don’t think anyone has ever done what I am trying to do – which is a great a challenge and absorbing.

In devoting yourself to an absorbing interest, choose something challenging and long-range, and not simple and short-ranged. Something that will be fascinating for many years.

Don’t expect developing an absorbing interest to be easy. Because of the complexity of the challenge, and fear of failure and inertia, it’s going to be hard to stick with it long enough before you can be good at it and enjoy it.

Ideally, have several absorbing interest. Maybe a main one (like writing a novel) and some smaller ones on the side. The variety will give you vitality and a zest for living. Also, if you complete or exhaust your main interest, you can take a deeper dive into the side stuff.

Post: #28

I've been going through a similar realization while examining my game and overall approach this year. Here's what I've learned and what I'm currently realizing. A lot of this comes from the cumulative experiences and advice from this forum. Following these points below has helped me save a lot of energy and has kept me from burning out as quickly.

I only engage and ask out women who are clearly interested in me and engage me equally or more so over text. I used to try and get the elusive ones to meet up with me and most of the time they either went MIA, flaked out at the last minute or were a struggle to engage while in person.

I only go after the ones that fit exactly my type and what I'm looking for. If she's outside of my parameters but still passes the boner test I'll pass on her anyway unless she really excels in my point above. I do this because I want to be really energized and engaged in whoever I'm meeting and not simply mailing it in.

I absolutely will not go on a logistically bad date (pre bang.) If the only way for me to meet a woman is to drive a longish distance from my place which would diminish my odds of getting the bang I simply will not do it. My time and money are far too valuable to drive 30+ minutes to meet with someone who likely will not look like her photos, be boring, crazy or otherwise annoying. I'm much happier passing on her and working on someone closer to me or enjoying an evening to myself.

I pay attention to red flags and quickly next a woman if I sense any of these prior to meeting up. I can't tell you how many times I've been texting a woman, things were going well and then when it came time to setup the date or even right after setting up the date she became very difficult. This can include wanting to change the venue we initially agreed on, insisting on meeting in a place logistically undesirable, asking me questions such as "by the way how tall are you?" AFTER we've setup a date, insisting on doing a meal date etc. Our gut instincts are there for a reason, use them! If they're a pain in the ass over texting, they will be a pain in the ass in person.

I now no longer do drinks (alcoholic) for first meetings. I've gone into this in far more detail on a different thread here but for my personality meeting in a loud bar, with a cockblocking bartender or waitress pushing more drinks on us, spending $20-50 on a bar tab all for someone who I am just meeting is not worth it. Granted I may miss out on a few bangs from bar sluts who need to get lubed up at a bar prior to banging me but I'm just fine with taking that chance.

I think the bottom line is that the issue of game taking inordinate amounts of energy only comes up when the return is dramatically lower than the investment. If we were getting new pussy every night of the week and it was a simple formula of do A+B = C and we were guaranteed a return (bang) there would be no complaints. So your job now is to design a dating model and approach that makes things as easy on you as possible while expending minimum energy.

Post: #29

True, every great accomplishment requires a great deal of energy and women are no different.

Ok, what I hearing is that as you get older and more experience you should screen better for girls that will do more of the work for you and I can agree with this. The more work the girl does, the less work you have to do.

And yes, IF you can meet a girl that you have chemistry with and whose company you really enjoy then it doesn't take a lot of energy to interact with her. It's the ones that you feel you have to "Game" that takes a lot of energy.

With all of this said, the only guys I know that doesn't think women are a lot of work are guys that are famous in some way. Guys that have a certain type of women literally throwing themselves at them. All of the other regular guys I know feel that dating in American today is very time and energy consuming proposition without a good return because of the lack of quality women.

I believe this is exactly what this thread is about:
/thread-47315-...pid1017860

Post: #30

Red, you have to decide what you want from the lizards firstly. Do you want to fcuk them or do you want to know them in a more romantic sense? Once you decide that and are sure of what you want, you lose less energy trying to manage the conflict of someone pushing forward a different energy.

I cut off a lizard after Valentine's day because we had gone on three dates and had not escalated physically. I tried but she said "I don't know you like that yet".
Her convo was dull to me and I wasn't willing to be her entertainment entity so I placed the ultimatum. She didn't go for it so I cut her off. Simple. A lizard must meet you at least 50 percent of the way.

As an older man, one doesn't need to tap dance for reptiles any more. Let them dance for you. You sit down and let them orbit you.

Giovonny is right. If a lizard is wack, don't be afraid to cancel her out. As an older man you should be making decent money now. I don't know where in America you live but spend some of your money in going to different locales. Some places are wack and no formula is going to change that. Roosh is an active game guru but he wasn't going to waste his time with DC and Toronto. Part of game is also about recognising when a locale is just lame and not worth the effort. Limit your time around wack people and wack locations.

You are not a tree. You are a man. Become mobile. Move to find your prey and then bring it back to your quarters to devour on your own time (or feast on it where you found it).

Post: #31

(05-10-2015 11:30 AM)YossariansRight Wrote:  Game isn't a hobby or part time 'thing', it's a (the) foundation for success in life. You either do it or you don't. And it's applications go far beyond procuring pussy.

See my tagline. Learn it, live it, prosper from it.

It's not that 'having game' burns energy. You can run convenience game and get laid at the level of your current social circle (and who it brings you into contact with), but if you want to actively pursue new pussy or business contacts (with or without game), you're going to burn a lot of energy doing it.

Simply put, you don't 'do' game or 'not do game.' The question is how much time and energy can you put into the actual 'application of game.'

Post: #32

(05-09-2015 06:54 PM)MrXY Wrote:  I'm older, and being efficient with my time and energy is one of my primary concerns in my game strategy..

That's why I like when topics such as slut signs and screening are discussed on the forum. When I'm in a venue I take plenty of time to observe the appearance and behavior of the women in the place then decide on a small number that have the highest probability of a SNL. If the approach goes well I then screen for her logistics and DTFness. If those don't look good I bail out.

Preapproach IOIs are important to me also. I think it's silly that some PUA types denigrate relying on preapproach IOIs as somehow being cowardly or taking the easy road. That's like a salesman turning away customers because the walked in with a wad of money in their hand.

I also dress in such way that prompts women approaching me fairly regularly. Another savings of time and effort.

I'm also selective about which venues I go to and which nights I'm there. I don't go out specifically to daygame because it doesn't fit into my schedule. I do online though because I can do it while multitasking.

The older you get the less tolerance you have for BS and wasting time.

You are talking about pounding the pavement. Agreed, takes a lot of energy but everything in life does. How badly do you want to bang 8+s?

This. Work smarter, not harder.

- Screen like a motherfucker. Eye contact, positive responses
- Game on your schedule - lunch, dinner? eat at the bar, grocery store (hat tip to el mech)
- Escalate, don't sit on numbers and daydream about next moves
- Work the online game (check the SA thread)
- Analyze the best places to day/night game in your city and filter the right windows (twilight? after lunch coffee time?) and game during those times.

Gaming requires more mental toughness than anything. Controlling your emotions and keeping yourself allowing the highs and lows to get to you down. If you can control your emotions, take game as part of life and keep improving you should be alright.

Post: #33

Game does require lots of energy but if you stay positive and have get mostly positive vibes from woman, it can be very energizing too. As long as the majority of interactions are positive, even if you get blown out occasionally, it won't seem so bad.

Post: #34

(05-19-2015 07:40 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  Game does require lots of energy but if you stay positive and have get mostly positive vibes from woman, it can be very energizing too. As long as the majority of interactions are positive, even if you get blown out occasionally, it won't seem so bad.

Wisdom from my man Robert Plant. You definitely get more positive vibes (and sex) the more you build yourself up as a man. To me, it rarely feels like "game" anymore.

Post: #35

Let me give you a real world example: I flew into a country yesterday and when on lunch date with a girl after I decided to try some day game in the city center - after walking around for a bit getting a feel for the place I sat down. I was tired from the long trip. I literally did not have the energy to approach girls. I drank some coffee but the jet lag was starting to hit me. Before I knew it I had to meet another girl. I wondered in the direction of the cafe but I wasn't paying attention and went to the wrong cafe. I ended up missing the second girl completely. I went to the hotel and crashed. After a week without a decent night sleep I just wanted to lie in bed for a few days. Game like any sport requires you to expend energy doesn't matter what you are getting from the girls. Another girl wanted to meet up this afternoon, can't do it. Need to rest and recover my sleep.

Post: #36

Red, maybe you are just generally tired. Do you play any regular sports or host any sort of social events on a regular basis? If you are an introvert then extroverted behaviour may cause you undue fatigue.
As Giovonny said, everything in life uses up energy. Yoga is tiring even eating the wrong type of foods is tiring.
Change your mindset. It's not easy because I'm not really the social butterfly but America is teaching me.