Post: #26

I think you should let her go. I think you're too young to be burdened by her and she wants to much out of you.

She's the only girl you've ever slept with, and as a man, I know you're curious to fuck some other chicks.

At the end of the day it's your decision though, but that's my 2 cents.

Post: #27

(05-24-2011 05:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 03:46 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Rah -

Your situation sounds heavy, it is amazing (for someone like me) to even comprehend a situation like yours.

"I'm going to take a month or two to decompress before I start approaching girls"

I wouldn't wait. It will only get harder.

Start saying "hello" today. No pressure, just be smooth.

It will make it easier later on.

Rah you should take it easy. Go out maybe one night per week at first. I would approach girls, but I wouldn't try to worry about banging them. Baby steps.

Amen, brother. I put so much pressure on myself to get a bang out quick it drove me crazy. Relax and enjoy creating the chase and the attention. The bang will come.

Post: #28

(05-24-2011 11:25 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 05:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 03:46 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Rah -

Your situation sounds heavy, it is amazing (for someone like me) to even comprehend a situation like yours.

"I'm going to take a month or two to decompress before I start approaching girls"

I wouldn't wait. It will only get harder.

Start saying "hello" today. No pressure, just be smooth.

It will make it easier later on.

Rah you should take it easy. Go out maybe one night per week at first. I would approach girls, but I wouldn't try to worry about banging them. Baby steps.

Amen, brother. I put so much pressure on myself to get a bang out quick it drove me crazy. Relax and enjoy creating the chase and the attention. The bang will come.

I disagree. I think the best way to get better at getting the bang is to try and get the bang, otherwise you end up with your phone full of numbers (or whatever lesser goal you set for yourself) and nothing to show for it.

Go headfirst into doing a fuckload of approaches and trying to close each one. Experiment and learn what works through practice and trial and error. Going for sex provides a natural barometer of your progress because you know you did something right when you succeed (i.e., get a notch).

The only pitfall to this is that you might get discouraged by an initial lack of progress, but recognize that game is a skill that is not easy to learn and resign yourself to the fact that there is a learning curve. When you get to the other side you won't regret putting in the work.

Post: #29

(05-24-2011 11:34 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 11:25 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 05:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 03:46 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Rah -

Your situation sounds heavy, it is amazing (for someone like me) to even comprehend a situation like yours.

"I'm going to take a month or two to decompress before I start approaching girls"

I wouldn't wait. It will only get harder.

Start saying "hello" today. No pressure, just be smooth.

It will make it easier later on.

Rah you should take it easy. Go out maybe one night per week at first. I would approach girls, but I wouldn't try to worry about banging them. Baby steps.

Amen, brother. I put so much pressure on myself to get a bang out quick it drove me crazy. Relax and enjoy creating the chase and the attention. The bang will come.

I disagree. I think the best way to get better at getting the bang is to try and get the bang, otherwise you end up with your phone full of numbers (or whatever lesser goal you set for yourself) and nothing to show for it.

Go headfirst into doing a fuckload of approaches and trying to close each one. Experiment and learn what works through practice and trial and error. Going for sex provides a natural barometer of your progress because you know you did something right when you succeed (i.e., get a notch).

The only pitfall to this is that you might get discouraged by an initial lack of progress, but recognize that game is a skill that is not easy to learn and resign yourself to the fact that there is a learning curve. When you get to the other side you won't regret putting in the work.

To each their own. It depends on the emotional situation. I've still got some baggage left from my marriage as well as a lot of stuff that's bugged me since childhood and has been the root of my betaness. I approached a lot, but now that I have a girl hooked I ain't pushing hard for the bang because she's supremely shy with me. Some chicks are in need a softer hand. As of now, she seems really laid back, and after dealing with a nutty emotional wreck like my ex-wife, the last thing I want to do is deal with an American princess cunt. But that's me. I need a break from cunts. I dunno about the OP or Rah.

Post: #30

(05-24-2011 11:53 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 11:34 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 11:25 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 05:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 03:46 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Rah -

Your situation sounds heavy, it is amazing (for someone like me) to even comprehend a situation like yours.

"I'm going to take a month or two to decompress before I start approaching girls"

I wouldn't wait. It will only get harder.

Start saying "hello" today. No pressure, just be smooth.

It will make it easier later on.

Rah you should take it easy. Go out maybe one night per week at first. I would approach girls, but I wouldn't try to worry about banging them. Baby steps.

Amen, brother. I put so much pressure on myself to get a bang out quick it drove me crazy. Relax and enjoy creating the chase and the attention. The bang will come.

I disagree. I think the best way to get better at getting the bang is to try and get the bang, otherwise you end up with your phone full of numbers (or whatever lesser goal you set for yourself) and nothing to show for it.

Go headfirst into doing a fuckload of approaches and trying to close each one. Experiment and learn what works through practice and trial and error. Going for sex provides a natural barometer of your progress because you know you did something right when you succeed (i.e., get a notch).

The only pitfall to this is that you might get discouraged by an initial lack of progress, but recognize that game is a skill that is not easy to learn and resign yourself to the fact that there is a learning curve. When you get to the other side you won't regret putting in the work.

To each their own. It depends on the emotional situation. I've still got some baggage left from my marriage as well as a lot of stuff that's bugged me since childhood and has been the root of my betaness. I approached a lot, but now that I have a girl hooked I ain't pushing hard for the bang because she's supremely shy with me. Some chicks are in need a softer hand. As of now, she seems really laid back, and after dealing with a nutty emotional wreck like my ex-wife, the last thing I want to do is deal with an American princess cunt. But that's me. I need a break from cunts. I dunno about the OP or Rah.

Yeah, what I will say is that the whole "complete indifference to rejection" thing came pretty easily to me so Roosh's advice to dive in and get over the learning curve as quickly as possible made a lot of sense for me. If you're a different person coming at it from a different situation then your greatest benefit might come from taking baby steps, but I'll still maintain that the fastest way to learn is to do a high volume of approaches and go for the bang each time so you get some experience with each phase of the game.

Post: #31

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I think G & others are right that I should be putting myself out there in some capacity rather than totally closing myself off in the transition period. I'm just not totally trusting myself right now and could see a bad night with lots of rejections drive me to start seeking out safety and comfort in really dumb places.

However, I'm staying at a hostel in downtown Chicago right now and did get myself out to a few bars. Got approached by 2 girls and approached a two set. 2 / 3 of the conversations went on about 15 mins. One, the girl ejected herself somewhat randomly. The bar was small and mostly occupied by her co-workers, not sure if that was a factor or she just wasn't digging me after a while (although I had her laughing most the time). Two, got cockblocked by a jealous friend in the two set after my target was giving me what I thought were steady IOIs (locked eye contact, couldn't stop touching herself, lots of questions about me) for about 15 mins (college girl's 21st birthday). The other one (who approached me) blew out pretty quick when I mentioned her friend (who also approached me) early on and she got defensive. She was only about a 5/6 at best, maybe too insecure for that type of competitive comparison early on?

Man, I'm amateur as fuck but I feel like with enough persistence I could see myself making steady improvement. I'm pretty comfortable with approaching when I have something even remotely situational to say, but really struggle with filling the first 30 mins of conversation. Definitely not naturally chatty.

Getting approached even by 5/6s feels good though. I got out of shape in my monogamous complacency, but once back in shape in 4-6 months I think I'm at least a 7 in the looks department. My default look is a clean cut, tall white guy type of thing with thick, conservatively parted preppy hair. People tell me I'd make a good politician.

Post: #32

(05-24-2011 11:34 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 11:25 PM)SFTD Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 05:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-24-2011 03:46 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Rah -

Your situation sounds heavy, it is amazing (for someone like me) to even comprehend a situation like yours.

"I'm going to take a month or two to decompress before I start approaching girls"

I wouldn't wait. It will only get harder.

Start saying "hello" today. No pressure, just be smooth.

It will make it easier later on.

Rah you should take it easy. Go out maybe one night per week at first. I would approach girls, but I wouldn't try to worry about banging them. Baby steps.

Amen, brother. I put so much pressure on myself to get a bang out quick it drove me crazy. Relax and enjoy creating the chase and the attention. The bang will come.

I disagree. I think the best way to get better at getting the bang is to try and get the bang, otherwise you end up with your phone full of numbers (or whatever lesser goal you set for yourself) and nothing to show for it.

Go headfirst into doing a fuckload of approaches and trying to close each one. Experiment and learn what works through practice and trial and error. Going for sex provides a natural barometer of your progress because you know you did something right when you succeed (i.e., get a notch).

The only pitfall to this is that you might get discouraged by an initial lack of progress, but recognize that game is a skill that is not easy to learn and resign yourself to the fact that there is a learning curve. When you get to the other side you won't regret putting in the work.

I agree. If you're serious about being a playa and fucking lots of girls, you need to approach with the goal of fucking that night. I would give it some time before I started talking to girls if I was fresh out of a relationship though. You'll bring up your x and think about her if you're not over it.