YossariansRight
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
(04-21-2015 10:45 PM)Tytalus Wrote: What a headfuck to read this. I wish I had been able to date girls from 30 years ago.
Yeah, the 80s were the last decade where things were still "normal". I think a large part of that had to do with the political leadership at that time, but that's a discussion for another day.
I picked this book up at a flea market about 10 years ago for a quarter; when you read the book and compare it to now, it's a culture shock, just like the book that's the subject of this thread.
Nice Guys Sleep Alone: Dating in the Difficult Eighties, by Bruce Feirstein
If you can find a copy of it, I recommend it.
“….and we will win, and you will win, and we will keep on winning, and eventually you will say… we can’t take all of this winning, …please Mr. Trump …and I will say, NO, we will win, and we will keep on winning”.
- President Donald J. Trump
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| 04-23-2015 09:11 PM |
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The Lizard of Oz
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
I found her advice (written out by DoBA in this post) to be very moving; there is such a quality of earnestness to it -- one gets the strong sense, as one does so rarely with most advice and instruction, that she truly thought about how best to help the girls she was addressing do better and become popular and it gives the whole thing a tone of both seriousness and intimacy which is exceptionally sweet. There is no pretense here that the topic isn't one of the gravest importance in the life of a girl; there is very little nonsense of any kind. It's just an exceptionally wholesome text.
And of course it's all good advice; it's addressed not to the best looking girls -- they don't need it -- nor to the truly ill-favored ones for whom it sadly does no good, but to the wide swath of Plain Janes who fall somewhere in between and who can use these little devices and subterfuges to better their chances and have a happier life.
It is interesting that the Buzzfeed writer chose this (quite obscure) oldish book to single out for derision; she must have felt drawn to it in some way, must have felt drawn to the strong quality of earnest helpfulness and forthrightness in it; that is very often what engenders mockery of this kind in those who cannot even be honest with themselves and acknowledge their true feelings.
same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
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| 04-23-2015 09:46 PM |
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CH-Toronto
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
(04-23-2015 09:46 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote: It is interesting that the Buzzfeed writer chose this (quite obscure) oldish book to single out for derision; she must have felt drawn to it in some way, must have felt drawn to the strong quality of earnest helpfulness and forthrightness in it; that is very often what engenders mockery of this kind in those who cannot even be honest with themselves and acknowledge their true feelings.
They do this kind of thing all the time. It's click bait - because it seems so 'crazy':
Here is another link that's almost ALL good advice.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/1...#.ey7QOEgA
(04-23-2015 09:11 PM)YossariansRight Wrote: Yeah, the 80s were the last decade where things were still "normal". I think a large part of that had to do with the political leadership at that time, but that's a discussion for another day.
Political leadership has a part to do with it. My friend and I have a theory. Western/European girls have it easy. They have no incentive to find themselves a good man to take care of them, because for the most part- they can take care of themselves. However if GUYS want a good girl - they have to work hard to get them. This is why you see such a huge disparity of attractiveness in men vs. women where the men are clearly dating down.
Alternatively, in 2nd and 3rd World Countries, in order to be safe, girls/women must be the ones to "work hard" to find a man for protection in family and security. And in those countries you see the reverse disparity of average looking guys with hot girls. The more 'secure' in her country a woman feels, the less effort she'll put in herself to find a man and treat him right.
I'm not saying these are set in stone, and there are some obvious exceptions to the rule, but I don't think I'm far off base.
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| 04-23-2015 10:08 PM |
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It_is_my_time
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
(04-23-2015 10:08 PM)CH-Toronto Wrote: Political leadership has a part to do with it. My friend and I have a theory. Western/European girls have it easy. They have no incentive to find themselves a good man to take care of them, because for the most part- they can take care of themselves. However if GUYS want a good girl - they have to work hard to get them. This is why you see such a huge disparity of attractiveness in men vs. women where the men are clearly dating down.
And a lot of this has to do with giving women the right to vote and them turning the western world into leftist authoritarian states.
Men want sex from women, and women want protection/resources from men. Now women have used their vote to extract resources from men and have men pay for a police state. So now we have a giant police state to make women feel safe and in exchange we men lose some of our freedoms but mostly we lose nearly 50% of our income in various taxes (income, property, sales, services, on and on).
So women have voted in a large govt. to replace the things that men provide for them. And men are forced to provide these things for women, and get nothing in exchange, and if they refuse they face the pistols of the govt.
Women have nearly no need for men in the western world, unless the guy is a top 10% male who can make their friends hamster run wild with jealousy.
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| 04-24-2015 02:23 AM |
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jariel
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
(04-24-2015 04:03 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote: Marry Him
I talked about that writer and her book here:
/thread-47723.html
Her book is highly informative, but she lacks credibility because she is a single, middle-age woman. It's rather difficult to tell women to not be too picky and be willing to be a man who gives them 80-90% of what they're looking for and forget the unnecessary 10-20% of trivial shit when she has failed to do that herself.
Here's another list of dating tips for women from damn 1938:
http://mashable.com/2014/10/08/tips-for-...cid=lf-toc
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2015 04:32 AM by jariel.)
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| 06-03-2015 04:32 AM |
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Grodin
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
I was 12 in 1989, so I may not remember the 80s quite as clear as some of you who are older, but I do think I remember enough to comment. The 80s are being glossed over quite a bit in this thread, and the mall thread.
Not that the 80s were all bad but, as glossed over implies, the bad is being overlooked. Rose colored glasses and all that.
80s culture in music and (especially) movies was a massive blue pill injection. The idea that the "nice guy" who waits around and absorbs a girls emotional menstruations will ultimately get the girl? That shit was on steroids in the 80s. See: Any movie staring John Cusack, St. Elmo's Fire, even Fast Times at Ridgemont High (great flick). The idea that broken families are the fault of some immoral jerk of a father? Some of my favorite movies including: E.T. and The Goonies. Divorce hit a peak in the late 70s and hollywierd was reacting (panicking?) trying to explain to us kiddos how it was faulty men to blame. Or am I wearing a tin hat?
The whole "career woman" thing also hit nitro in the 80s in fact I think that specific angle kind of mellowed out in the 90s, YMMV. To me the "shoulder pad" trend in the 80s is symblomatic of women envious and trying to imitate men (and I'm flattered).
I freely admit that I'm a little buzzed so I'm either being less accurate and well thought out, or more truthful and less censored.
All that aside though, a lot of these dating tips are great advice. You could even take a few of these, and with only a few minor tweaks, they'd be good advice for young men too. Only one that sticks out that I definitely don't agree with is high school girls going to colleges to hook up. I don't think I'll be passing that one on to my daughter.
(This post was last modified: 06-04-2015 02:11 AM by Grodin.)
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| 06-04-2015 02:04 AM |
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Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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RE: 29 'terrible' dating tips for girls from 30 years ago
(06-04-2015 02:04 AM)Grodin Wrote: I was 12 in 1989, so I may not remember the 80s quite as clear as some of you who are older, but I do think I remember enough to comment. The 80s are being glossed over quite a bit in this thread, and the mall thread.
Not that the 80s were all bad but, as glossed over implies, the bad is being overlooked. Rose colored glasses and all that.
80s culture in music and (especially) movies was a massive blue pill injection. The idea that the "nice guy" who waits around and absorbs a girls emotional menstruations will ultimately get the girl? That shit was on steroids in the 80s. See: Any movie staring John Cusack, St. Elmo's Fire, even Fast Times at Ridgemont High (great flick). The idea that broken families are the fault of some immoral jerk of a father? Some of my favorite movies including: E.T. and The Goonies. Divorce hit a peak in the late 70s and hollywierd was reacting (panicking?) trying to explain to us kiddos how it was faulty men to blame. Or am I wearing a tin hat?
The whole "career woman" thing also hit nitro in the 80s in fact I think that specific angle kind of mellowed out in the 90s, YMMV. To me the "shoulder pad" trend in the 80s is symblomatic of women envious and trying to imitate men (and I'm flattered).
I freely admit that I'm a little buzzed so I'm either being less accurate and well thought out, or more truthful and less censored.
All that aside though, a lot of these dating tips are great advice. You could even take a few of these, and with only a few minor tweaks, they'd be good advice for young men too. Only one that sticks out that I definitely don't agree with is high school girls going to colleges to hook up. I don't think I'll be passing that one on to my daughter.
I'll agree with your general consensus. The '80s had a lot of blue pill media. And on top of that, a lot of it set up the '90s in ways people don't even realize (i.e. the gender switched roles in "Who's the Boss" and "Mr. Belvedere; the "nice guys" you mentioned).
But...for every blue pill concept, there was some red pill going around.
*The strong, unironic praise for the nuclear family in "Family Ties" and scads of other sitcoms. Even if those sitcoms goofed on Republicans or things like that, the overall message was way different than it is today.
*Those movies about Betas winning might have lied. But they showed the Betas being persistent and that wasn't a lie. And some of their behavior would now be considered harassment or stalking ("Say Anything"). So, in that context, were the Betas as Beta as they seemed then?
*Total machismo at the movies, done with no irony. "Lethal Weapon," "Predator," the "Rocky" franchise. On top of that, they weren't afraid to show women as psychos, like in "Fatal Attraction" or "Author Author" -- an obscure pet favorite of mine, written by the dad of one of...
*...the Beastie Boys, and tons of metal and early rap artists were on the radio or the charts saying things that would cause Twitter breakdowns now. Bananarama and Madonna were not, at that point, pushing agendas. They were looking sexy.
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| 06-04-2015 08:05 AM |
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