Post: #1

Last night I was out at a college bar with a buddy and he says he wants to talk to this cute Italian but doesn't know what to say. I told him don't say anything just grab her by the arm and pull her towards you. He's hesitant and so I demonstrate on a nearby Asian. She's receptive, her friend comes over and likes me, and I get a number.

My friend goes up tries the same thing and gets five fingers to the face.

I realize you can chalk this up to pure randomness, the girl having a bad night, etc... but a few mins later the Italian is chatting happily with another buddy of mine and seems generally approachable.

Other relevant info. My buddy is pretty thin and I'm decently muscular, enough that no one bothers to ask me if I lift. When I grabbed the girl while my body language and facial expressions are dominant, the things I'm saying are somewhat apologetic and beta (something I'm finding has good success).

Guess I'm looking for ideas to account for the difference or if anyone has every gotten slapped like this. I've only been doing this for a few months, but I've never seen a reaction that extreme from something so innocuous.

Addendum: anyone ever have this happen and successfully turn it around... (view it as a shit test and proceed) Something like "how did you know I liked that" or "damn, buy a guy a drink first"

Post: #2

Can you break down your "grabbing technique"?

Did you exchange words with the Asian at all before you grabbed her arm?

Was it the upper arm/wrist/forearm/bicep?

Was she facing away from you when you did it?

I just can't see myself doing this outside of the dancefloor or with a girl I don't have at least some marginal level of rapport with. This is something I need to work on.

Post: #3

I'm not sure what the issue is here.

Just because your situation yielded positive results, didn't mean your friend was going to have the same outcome.

The game is "your mileage may vary".

Post: #4

No words were exchanged, she was facing at a 90 degree angle from me, I went for upper arm/tricep. Its more of a cupping and moving towards while saying "hey come here"

I only try this when I'm on / in state / feeling cocky... whatever you want to call this and generally towards the end of the night. Remember too this is a college bar and so the level of douchbaggery that flies here is higher than average.

Also fwiw I'm 29 and the girl was 20 so that may have helped.

Post: #5

(04-03-2015 04:28 PM)jariel Wrote:  I'm not sure what the issue is here.

Just because your situation yielded positive results, didn't mean your friend was going to have the same outcome.

The game is "your mileage may vary".

Yah, its not so much that the results were different that surprised me, but HOW different they were. The difference between a number and a hand to the face just seems ludicrous. A girl slapping a dude in general is something I don't see.

I'm sure there's another thread that this would have been more appropriate to post in.

Post: #6

This post reminds me of the time one of my taller and more handsomd friends tried to give me game advice and told me to not do approaches and let them come to me. Ok. . .

My point being what works for one person won't always work for another, even if that advicd is good for one of the two. There are wayyy too many variables here. Maybe you are more attractive? Maybe you gave off a better vibe than your friend? Maybe your girl was simply more open to that type of approach?

If this was your friends first time doing that type of approach, I can guarantee he did it wrong anyway. Very subtle things can be the difference between a success and a failure, especially on a high risk direct approach like the one you described. Since it sounds like youve done this before, you probably had a much more secure and confident vibe going than your friend, even if on the surface his approach looked similar. And I don't think the slap was a shit test, sounds like a "fuck off".

Post: #7

Simple: italians girls are entiled bitches.

Post: #8

(04-03-2015 05:32 PM)Kuba Wrote:  Simple: italians girls are entiled bitches.

nah that's too harsh. it depends on cultural differences. try doing this in an arabic/muslman community and you'll get

imo, this is a wrong move unless you got something (eye-fuck for example or have some background-data about the particular girl).

Post: #9

If I'm feeling ballsy tonight I'll try it a few more times and report back

Post: #10

(04-03-2015 09:08 AM)HenrySprinkler Wrote:  Last night I was out at a college bar with a buddy and he says he wants to talk to this cute Italian but doesn't know what to say. I told him don't say anything just grab her by the arm and pull her towards you. He's hesitant and so I demonstrate on a nearby Asian. She's receptive, her friend comes over and likes me, and I get a number.

My friend goes up tries the same thing and gets five fingers to the face.

I realize you can chalk this up to pure randomness, the girl having a bad night, etc... but a few mins later the Italian is chatting happily with another buddy of mine and seems generally approachable.

Other relevant info. My buddy is pretty thin and I'm decently muscular, enough that no one bothers to ask me if I lift. When I grabbed the girl while my body language and facial expressions are dominant, the things I'm saying are somewhat apologetic and beta (something I'm finding has good success).

Guess I'm looking for ideas to account for the difference or if anyone has every gotten slapped like this. I've only been doing this for a few months, but I've never seen a reaction that extreme from something so innocuous.

Addendum: anyone ever have this happen and successfully turn it around... (view it as a shit test and proceed) Something like "how did you know I liked that" or "damn, buy a guy a drink first"

You have to understand cultures, I remember an Italian girl at a party explaining to me how there would always be some asshole on the train that grabs their ass or something, and if she called them out on it, the guy, would just insult her, "why would i have anything to do with such an ugly girl as you!" So she says you just slam your high heels down on his foot and he staggers away. Your friend might have gotten off lucky. If you have a solid frame you might try a "Nice shot do you play tennis?". Pretty tough though to maintain frame unless you've had something like that happen to you 3 times.