Post: #1

The Jeremy Kyle Show is the greatest programme on British TV, which means it is the most amazing TV show in the known universe.

Jeremy Kyle is like a whiter, shoutier, Englisher version of Montel Williams, or a less affable cousin of Jerry Springer. Described by a judge as "human bear baiting", his show features people who - God bless 'em - don't like working for a living. But they contribute to society in other ways, mainly zany adventures involving shagging each other before going to Jeremy for DNA and lie detector tests.

Today's human safari park features a couple who previously came to the attention of Britain's tabloids when the wife decided her seven children just weren't enough.

Unfortunately her husband's worn-out tadger had undergone a vasectomy. So naturally she did what any good mother would do, which is talk one of her teenage daughter's male friends into wanking into a cup so she could inject his young, dumb cum into her cavernous cooch via a jumbo-sized turkey baster.

That's not even the funnest detail. The funnest detail is this:

Quote:our daughter, Alexius Leigh Mercedes Riley Porsche Lacey Mulholland, was born 18 months ago

Anyhoo, this time the husband is in trouble because wifey caught him red-handed creeping with the girl next door.

The results... may amuse you.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/jerem...ng-5445976

Quote:Jeremy Kyle: Wife puts cheating husband on lifelong sex ban but still lives with him

Haley Mulholland doesn't want her husband Kev anymore – but doesn't want anyone else to have him either

A mum of eight has put her husband on a lifelong sex ban – but still lets him live under her roof because she doesn't want anyone else to have him.



Haley Mulholland discovered her unfaithful husband Kev had cheated after he took a lie detector test on ITV show Jeremy Kyle.

Despite his infidelity, Haley still lets Kev live in the same house as her – although he has to sleep on the living room sofa.

The 45-year-old admits that while she no longer wants her husband, she doesn't want any other woman to have him either.

Haley monitors her husband’s movements, checks his phone and even sniffs him to see if she can smell another woman’s perfume.

Suspicious Haley, from Bristol, said: “I might not want Kev, but I don’t want anyone else to have him either.

“I keep tabs on his phone and on his Facebook. He swears he’s staying true, but I couldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him. Over the past few months I’ve become quite the detective.”

Though Haley has so far found no evidence to suggest he is straying, she refuses to take her husband of 15 years back.

She said: “While we’re not divorced, we’re not together. There’s no kissing, sex or anything like that, though Kev’s tried his luck.

“He creeps into my room saying the sofa’s given him a bad back and that he needs to sleep in my bed. I just tell him where to go.

“The other night he started stroking my thigh. I slapped his hand away. This body is well and truly out of bounds.”

Quote:The Mulholland’s marriage became rocky shortly before they renewed their wedding vows on Valentine’s Day 2013.

Haley said: “A month before the big day I was on the computer and noticed Facebook was still logged on to Kev’s profile.

“I clicked on his inbox, and discovered a message from one of our neighbours.

“She’d written, ‘Have you told her yet?’ which made my heart race.

“Had my Kev been going round for more than a cup of sugar?

Quote:“The rest of their correspondence was harmless enough, so I decided to give Kev the benefit of the doubt.

“But just weeks after our wedding I started hearing rumours about the two of them.

“I asked Kev if something was going on and he denied it. But I smelt a rat - a love rat.”

Quote:That is when Haley started to doubt her husband and put him on a sex ban until he admitted the truth.

She said: “I trusted the people who were telling me. So I told him, no nookie until I get to the bottom it.

“Two years went by and I stuck to my word. We slept on opposite sides of the bed, absolutely no touching.

“By the end Kev was so desperate for some hanky panky he suggested we went on Jeremy Kyle for a lie detector test.

“I booked for us to go on the show.

“A couple of nights later I checked Kev’s Facebook inbox and felt sick to my stomach.

“There were loads of messages from this other woman. She had written that she was worried she’d caught an STI from Kev.

“It was absolutely disgusting.”

Haley went round to confront her neighbour who claimed her Facebook had been hacked.

But on the show Jeremy Kyle revealed that Kev had cheated on his wife with their neighbour.



She said: “Kev walked off stage, swearing that the results were fixed. But that evening he finally admitted the truth.

“He said it had only lasted five minutes, but that didn’t matter to me. Once a cheat always a cheat.

“I knew we were over but I didn’t kick him out for the sake of the kids, instead I moved him downstairs.

“The little ones are none the wiser.”

As if this set-up wasn’t unusual enough, Haley has now started to track her husband’s movements to make sure he isn’t seeing other women.

She said: “It sounds crazy as, hand on my heart, I do not want him back. But whenever he goes out I make a note of how long for and calculate what he could be doing.

“Maybe it’s jealousy or perhaps it’s because I want him to suffer.

“I know his Facebook password and I log in most days to check whether his floozy has been in touch.

“She’s kept quiet, and if she has any sense she’ll continue to do so.”

It’s not just technology Haley uses to try and catch her husband out.

“The other day I hugged him as soon as he walked through the door. I think he saw it as progress, but I was just seeing if I could smell another woman on him.

Quote:“I make sure I know where he is at all times.

“So far he has passed the test, but if he ever fails I’m ready to pounce.”

Kev, who is unable to work due to a bad back, has told his wife he will win her back by remaining celibate until she changes her mind.

He claims he’ll show he’s remained faithful by doing another lie detector test.

Haley said: “I don’t know what I’d do if the results came back and he’s telling the truth. Maybe I’d take him back, maybe I wouldn’t.

“For now I’m happy being single. I don’t see a man in my future and I’ll be damned if there’s a woman in Kevin’s.”

“He’s made his bed and he has to lie in it – alone.”

Kev said: “I love Haley more than anything, no other woman compares. The kids and her are my life.

“I’m still living in the house, so there’s still love there. I’m not having sex with anyone to prove just how serious I am.

“The fact that she’s checking up on me tells me that she cares.”

Post: #2

"Gut sum fagz luv?"

The English language from these types is a wonderful thing. If any Americans want to learn how to be a good translater come to the most common areas of England. You will think rednecks are angels.

Post: #3

Post: #4

The mirror is a tabloid known for completely making up stories. Hilarious read though.

Post: #5

Has to be fake. These journalists just trying to troll the public.

Post: #6

I'm on the beer as I'm off for a four day weekend but is the daughter's boyfriend's cum-dumpster Skeletor?

Post: #7

Ah, another Steve McMahon thread to look forward to. Always a pleasure.

'Content is fantastic as always. But damn...the thread title is lacking that catchy trademark rhyme unlike your previous threads. Like a Van Halen without the guitar solo'
-voice of indignant Steve McMahon fan who's afraid he's going to sell out now that he's getting mainstream success

Post: #8

9/10 thread title

Post: #9

McMahon threads are becoming like Quentin Tarantino movies: that is, a media event.

Post: #10

(04-02-2015 11:44 AM)Pride male Wrote:  Has to be fake. These journalists just trying to troll the public.

I dunno man.

Our underclass behaves in ways you wouldn't believe.

Post: #11

(04-02-2015 12:46 PM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(04-02-2015 11:44 AM)Pride male Wrote:  Has to be fake. These journalists just trying to troll the public.

I dunno man.

Our underclass behaves in ways you wouldn't believe.

I believe it.

Especially in Bristol which has a huge gulf between rich and poor with most bars being absolute cock-fests.

Post: #12

I like how you built it up and then revealed the bone face. You sir are not only a gentlemen but a masterful story teller.

Post: #13

So, what was that about Brits being the cultivators and protectors of western civilization.........?

Post: #14

It's pretty humiliating isn't it?

Men that once conquered a quarter of the globe and with a great warrior tradition behind them have become perhaps the biggest pussies on Planet Earth.

I feel for you British guys. I really do.

Post: #15

It's always nice to see the British underclass thriving:







It's good that someone is having kids there.

Post: #16

That last family escaped from the The Hills have Eyes. The "mum" has a 6 head.

Post: #17

what could possibly go wrong when massive social support programs funded by high taxes that are debilitating to job creation incentivize lazy uneducated people to have children because it's simpler, easier, and more lucrative (housing allowance) than having to work menial jobs?

it's so crazy it almost makes me think people respond to economic incentives.

Post: #18

Roosh needs to hire Steve to be the forum reporter and provide him with a modest monthly stipend, commensurate with his contributions. I'd like to wake up every weekday morning to a new "Steve Report."

Post: #19

What we North Americans think the British are like:



Reality:

(04-02-2015 06:28 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Post: #20

(04-02-2015 06:28 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Post: #21

(04-02-2015 10:28 PM)Suits Wrote:  Roosh needs to hire Steve to be the forum reporter and provide him with a modest monthly stipend, commensurate with his contributions. I'd like to wake up every weekday morning to a new "Steve Report."

(04-02-2015 02:25 PM)Fortis Wrote:  So, what was that about Brits being the cultivators and protectors of western civilization.........?

We invented the Titanic, gingers, and the handjob.

What have you done?

(04-02-2015 05:47 PM)Libertas Wrote:  It's pretty humiliating isn't it?

Men that once conquered a quarter of the globe and with a great warrior tradition behind them have become perhaps the biggest pussies on Planet Earth.

I feel for you British guys. I really do.

Bollocks to that. Great Britain is the greatest nation on earth. It says so in the name.

Post: #22

RULE, BRITANNIA!


(Sorry, reflex reaction. Commonwealth countries do that a lot, especially in war.)

Post: #23

Ever since Margaret Thatcher -that alpha hyena - destroyed manufacturing, the underclass that has been formed is very matriarchal and polyandrous.

Post: #24

(04-05-2015 04:53 AM)N°6 Wrote:  Ever since Margaret Thatcher -that alpha hyena - destroyed manufacturing.

That's simply not true, fella.

Unions destroyed manufacturing, not Mrs Thatcher.

Nobody ever mentions the fact that the Labour govt before her not only utterly wrecked the country economically, but they closed more pits and mines etc than she did.

Post: #25

(04-05-2015 05:52 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(04-05-2015 04:53 AM)N°6 Wrote:  Ever since Margaret Thatcher -that alpha hyena - destroyed manufacturing.

That's simply not true, fella.

Unions destroyed manufacturing, not Mrs Thatcher.

Nobody ever mentions the fact that the Labour govt before her not only utterly wrecked the country economically, but they closed more pits and mines etc than she did.

Not to derail the thread here, but manufacturing was deliberately destroyed not by the unions - they opened up borders to imports from the communist countries which could produce for example coal at ridiculous prices, since their entire economies were ridiculous to begin with.
Then of course the wages were too high in comparison to that kind of competition. American car manufacturers for example were also destroyed not by the unions, but by crappy products and German and Japanese automakers who did not overdo it on planned obsolescence.

But that had little to do with Thatcher frankly. I don't subscribe to the left-right-myth. Labour would have done the same if they had been in power. It was just time to destroy manufacturing, build the framework which shall mostly eliminate the middle class. The US with Reagan had a similar program. That was only exacerbated by mostly socialist, Democrat regimes in the 1990s (Clinton, Blair, Schroeder Germany) who "liberated" the markets even more than Thatcher, Reagan or Kohl ever did.

I personally like the Iron Lady, who had her own viewpoints and was even fired from the CFR in the 1990s (before her sickness) because she did not go along with the next steps on the agenda, as she had different ideas of what Britain should look like. But alas - she was a tool for more powerful people at the top - like all politicians are.