Post: #1

I had only been there for around 2 months, I go once/week because I have friends there even though Im not a Christian myself. This week I happened to notice her always looking at me. But since I didnt know her at all yet I was wondering how I wouldve approached.

It was near the end and I thought of something. "That was a cool longboard you had weeks ago, better than mine", in reference to the time where a bunch of kids brought their longboards. She said something like "Oh I dont know how to skate, I just have it for show." I said "Its actually pretty easy, I could show you", and she was saying about how a bunch of other guys (in the youth group), a few I was already friends with, go boarding in the suburb between the one I live and where the church was. The whole time I think I picked up a lot of her nervous vibes, which I thought was weird because she was an 8/9.

Then one of the guys came over, I discussed longboarding a bit with him(naturally), about how since he boards so close to my suburb we should hang out sometime. The conversation sorta fell apart a bit cause she knew the guy way longer than I knew either of them and they were mainly talking to each other, so I left to hang out with other friends.

Im not sure how to proceed. Probably next week Id have some minor tease like calling her "longboarder" with a smirk to reference the fact that she doesnt skate. Not sure how to arrange a meetup outside of the group either. Also not sure what I should do since everyone there is a Christian(so idk if I should invite for drinks or w/e). We are both late teenagers.

Post: #2

I'll add my thoughts reading your post. Note, the way you say something, just like your body language, means way more than the words spoken.

For instance, me 5 years ago would have this conversation and it would fall flat. Me now would have this conversation, same words, and it would come off as teasing, even using the exact same words.

"That was a cool longboard you had weeks ago, better than mine"
Well paced, slow delivery, layered with some uncertain sarcasm, this is fine.
If you're really just telling her her longboard is cool and better than yours, bad.

"Oh I dont know how to skate, I just have it for show."
She just opened a door to a world of teasing to you. You just have to walk through. Based on your next line, you didn't.

"Its actually pretty easy, I could show you"
This better be delivered slowly and laced with a lot of sexual vibe, with very direct eye contact. If not, it probably fell flat.

You could have built up the tension with teasing her about faking longboarding..."Do you just come to Church for show too" in a non-judgmental teasing way with a smile and a laugh. "I think that's adorable, like putting on makeup. I'm thinking of carrying around motorcycle just for show...blah blah blah"

I can't tell from your post, but the convo probably wasn't that fun anyway.

"Im not sure how to proceed. Probably next week Id have some minor tease like calling her "longboarder" with a smirk"
Yes. Do this. Tease her like crazy, but make it fun (otherwise, if you're like me, you come off as a dick).

How to arrange a meetup? Just ask her what she's doing afterward. Or get her # and tease her a little more, then ask her out.

Always tease, always pace (slow or fast, but pace your words). Always smirk.

Good to hear you're trying, and good luck, but no sex before marriage you heathen.

Post: #3

Thanks for your input, heavy.

Im not that good at teasing without coming across like a complete jerk. In fact, Ive lost a lot of friends this way when I was doing some big hitting insults. I think I was overcompensating since then and trying to not be too offensive and so not push people away. This is combined with the fact that I have a "dangerous" look with my hairstyle, posture and body language that I think a lot of people are initially scared of me, so I always feel I have to "disarm" their fear(which is worst with cold approach). But I will take your advice on board and tease more. Its just that I thought you had to save your teasing for a lot later on when you know each other more.

What exactly do you mean by ask her out? Like "lets hang out some time"?

I dont plan to get married. I want to corrupt these cute little innocent Christian girls . Mwahahaha.

Post: #4

(03-13-2015 03:49 PM)Magnesium Chloride Wrote:  Thanks for your input, heavy.

Im not that good at teasing without coming across like a complete jerk. In fact, Ive lost a lot of friends this way when I was doing some big hitting insults. I think I was overcompensating since then and trying to not be too offensive and so not push people away. This is combined with the fact that I have a "dangerous" look with my hairstyle, posture and body language that I think a lot of people are initially scared of me, so I always feel I have to "disarm" their fear(which is worst with cold approach). But I will take your advice on board and tease more. Its just that I thought you had to save your teasing for a lot later on when you know each other more.

What exactly do you mean by ask her out? Like "lets hang out some time"?

I dont plan to get married. I want to corrupt these cute little innocent Christian girls . Mwahahaha.

Good to know I'm not the only one. I've been called an asshole and a dick so many times I can't count. I've struggled with it, and I think (1) I'm better at it now, and (2) I don't care as much.

I have an old fwb who literally says I was a total dick the first time I met her, and every time she mentions it we (both her and I) come to the conclusion I wasn't a dick at all, not in any way, I was just "too confident". She was just being emotional.

"What are you doing after this?"
or via text later
"How's the longboarding?"...blah blah blah...
"Let's grab drinks" or "Let's hang out"

Not "let's hang out sometime", you want to hang out on your schedule.

See my ambiguous close. /thread-44667-...#pid944856

Post: #5

I see. Ive always been saying to girls "lets hang out sometime" and its always not been working.

Post: #6

Be direct. If you want to get the girl you have to have courage. It's better to try then to not try at all just go for it.