Post: #26

To build attraction you need some element of unexpected CONTRAST. Undercut expectations and build mystery.

A lot of really built guys have this "gentle giant" persona. Cultivate that, just being chill and having soft eyes. Or as others have suggested, go for the custom suit look.

Post: #27

Embrace the shit, but build either a strong sense of "casual" fashion or extensive vocabulary. Or don't give a fuck and be content with bar bitches.

Post: #28

People (mostly other guys) are either intimidated or put off by the way I walk. They commonly say I walk like a fighter or a meathead. I also get dinged for having shirts too tight (not my fault, I'm wearing the correct size). I have a shaved or super low haircut too. Usually that gives me a green light to unload my vast array of jokes and humor on them and challenge them back by putting them back on the spot. If you think about it, it gives you an easy setup for icebreaking. After that, I might let them know I used to be a MMA fighter, etc. and they are cool about it usually.

Thing is, when you are built a certain way body or face wise, it gets too tough or difficult to completely overhaul your look without looking gay or a tryhard. For example, at my height, weight, and muscle size, I would look fucking stupid in non-pleated tight pants. My Muay Thai fighter sized thighs make it look weird. Always play off your strengths.

I also heavily agree with WIA and others that suggested suiting up. Nice dress shirts with a tailored blazer jacket, nice pants, and great shoes can go a long way. It gives the impression that you are not a meat head but a highly disciplined go-getter. Even if they can see your muscular outline through the jacket. Like WIA said on his podcast with Moma and Rudebwoy, get that jacket and shirt tailored on the sides, have the tailor take it all in. Make sure you do not buy the sleeves too big and let them look all puffy. That takes away from the physique. Buy a pack of those T-shirts that have lay flat collars if you need one under your nice shirt. Like the commercial says, bacon collar is wack.

You can even wear long sleeves shirts that look good rolled up to show off those nice forearms you have. Get yer Popeye game on. Some women find muscular forearms sexy as hell.

Everyone, especially in the US and some other places in the world, deeply respect hard working people that are sharp looking and on point physically to match (big deltoids, back muscles, and trapz impresses Japanese and most Asian people, etc.). It makes you stand out. Don't try to blend in with other males. Always stand out tastefully.

It's not really peacocking if you got it right?

Post: #29

(03-07-2015 06:15 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Suit up.

WIA

That's probably good advice.

Post: #30

In foreign countries the shaved head and goatee look comes across as too menacing, especially if you're a big guy at all. You can get away with in the states because it's kind of pop culture to dress half-gangster, but I think women abroad associate it with thugs and hard-asses as portrayed in movies. I used to always have a shaved head and goatee when I was younger - it was kind of my signature look from 17 - 25. But I tried it a few times in Asia and I could definitely feel a difference in the way people treated me.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #31

(03-16-2015 11:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In foreign countries the shaved head and goatee look comes across as too menacing, especially if you're a big guy at all. You can get away with in the states because it's kind of pop culture to dress half-gangster, but I think women abroad associate it with thugs and hard-asses as portrayed in movies. I used to always have a shaved head and goatee when I was younger - it was kind of my signature look from 17 - 25. But I tried it a few times in Asia and I could definitely feel a difference in the way people treated me.

Foreign countries and abroad are rather comprehensive terms. The goatee seems to have gone somewhat out of fashion both back in my native Denmark and particularly here in Bulgaria where I live now, but shaved heads or a very close buzz cut, often coupled with several days worth of facial stubble, definitely haven't.
But during my weeks in Thailand last year the girls definitely didn't care much for facial stubble, though because of the feel rather than the look.

I've been sporting that look myself - in my younger days usually with a goatee - for the better part of two decades (started shaving my head several years before I began balding naturally in my mid 20s). Although very recently I've been going with a clean shave of both head and face for a slightly younger look.

Post: #32

(03-16-2015 12:19 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 11:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In foreign countries the shaved head and goatee look comes across as too menacing, especially if you're a big guy at all. You can get away with in the states because it's kind of pop culture to dress half-gangster, but I think women abroad associate it with thugs and hard-asses as portrayed in movies. I used to always have a shaved head and goatee when I was younger - it was kind of my signature look from 17 - 25. But I tried it a few times in Asia and I could definitely feel a difference in the way people treated me.

Foreign countries and abroad are rather comprehensive terms.

Sure they are. But can you name anywhere besides the states where the shaved head and goatee is widely embraced and doesn't give women the wrong idea about you? Especially if you're big. Even in America it doesn't have the mileage it used to.

Those are comprehensive terms but the penetration of Hollywood's influence around the world is also very comprehensive.

I admit I may have been using an oversized paintbrush, but I think for the most part the stereotype stands. In America, the shaved head and goatee look can still get quite a bit of mileage but elsewhere it's often perceived the wrong way.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #33

American History X scary (not the neo Nazi part just Norton's scary look)

Shit this whole thread comes off as grandeur trolling to me. I'm here imagining you are some skinny half white half Asian guy or something like that with big horn rim glasses because of your avatar and choice of memes and Creepin' as your name

Your pictures and online persona are so far apart in my head it's unreal.

Post: #34

(03-16-2015 09:53 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 12:19 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 11:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In foreign countries the shaved head and goatee look comes across as too menacing, especially if you're a big guy at all. You can get away with in the states because it's kind of pop culture to dress half-gangster, but I think women abroad associate it with thugs and hard-asses as portrayed in movies. I used to always have a shaved head and goatee when I was younger - it was kind of my signature look from 17 - 25. But I tried it a few times in Asia and I could definitely feel a difference in the way people treated me.

Foreign countries and abroad are rather comprehensive terms.

Sure they are. But can you name anywhere besides the states where the shaved head and goatee is widely embraced and doesn't give women the wrong idea about you? ...

Well, when it's a common look partially for fashion reasons (here in Bulgaria more the short buzz and facial stubble than shaved head with goatee) - and because a lot of guys, the majority of them probably not real life thugs at all, like that it gives them a tougher look - I don't really think it necessarily gives much of a negative impression, and certainly not among women in their teens, 20s and 30s.
Unless you couple it with other potential "thug indicators" like visible neck, face or hand tattoos.

I'm certain there are many locations around the world - most of Asia probably prime examples - where a shaved head and a goatee will make a negative, "scary" first impression, but I honestly don't believe it's the case in large parts of Europe.
But haircut and stubble/beards aside, facial features and other physical characteristics obviously also vary a lot between men. Some just look more naturally imposing than others.

In any case, to narrow the discussion back to specifically the shaven head and goatee look. Just taking off that goatee so both head and face are clean shaven is almost guaranteed to make most men look less intimidating. And a bit younger - when you're at an age where that might be desirable.

Post: #35

(03-16-2015 10:16 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 09:53 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 12:19 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

(03-16-2015 11:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In foreign countries the shaved head and goatee look comes across as too menacing, especially if you're a big guy at all. You can get away with in the states because it's kind of pop culture to dress half-gangster, but I think women abroad associate it with thugs and hard-asses as portrayed in movies. I used to always have a shaved head and goatee when I was younger - it was kind of my signature look from 17 - 25. But I tried it a few times in Asia and I could definitely feel a difference in the way people treated me.

Foreign countries and abroad are rather comprehensive terms.

Sure they are. But can you name anywhere besides the states where the shaved head and goatee is widely embraced and doesn't give women the wrong idea about you? ...

Well, when it's a common look partially for fashion reasons (here in Bulgaria more the short buzz and facial stubble than shaved head with goatee) - and because a lot of guys, the majority of them probably not real life thugs at all, like that it gives them a tougher look - I don't really think it necessarily gives much of a negative impression, and certainly not among women in their teens, 20s and 30s.
Unless you couple it with other potential "thug indicators" like visible neck, face or hand tattoos.

I'm certain there are many locations around the world - most of Asia probably prime examples - where a shaved head and a goatee will make a negative, "scary" first impression, but I honestly don't believe it's the case in large parts of Europe.
But haircut and stubble/beards aside, facial features and other physical characteristics obviously also vary a lot between men. Some just look more naturally imposing than others.

In any case, to narrow the discussion back to specifically the shaven head and goatee look. Just taking off that goatee so both head and face are clean shaven is almost guaranteed to make most men look less intimidating. And a bit younger - when you're at an age where that might be desirable.

Not to be a dick but you just said you don't think that shaved head and goatee make a negative "scary" first impression and then went on to say that taking the goatee off makes most men less intimidating, even if they keep their head shaven.

I get your point that "abroad" is a very broad way to talk about outside America, but I'm not sure if this tangent is going to go anywhere. I was simply offering a why to the concept you seem to already subconsciously understand and agree with.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #36

Well, let me try to simplify it by saying that I don't think that particular look, comparatively imposing or not, makes people instinctively think "thug!" everywhere in the world - it's been a somewhat common fashionable look among normal men in primarily their 20s, at various times over the last couple of decades in not just America.

Post: #37

Can you grow hair? If so try a short haircut without a beard, it'll help immensely. Between your size and look it's overload. Also, your beard looks a little uneven, it's possible if it was just trimmed closer it'd help you look more tame

Post: #38

I would definitely say to SUIT UP, or more formal wear.

The same attribute that makes you intimidating will make you seem that much more authoritative if dressed like you do serious business.

Authority = sexy. Intimidating = avoid.

Post: #39

I agree with the suit up etc. comments. I don't think you want to lose the 'resting bitch face' but think about your look and things that can change it from 'thug/criminal' to just plain old intimidating. The guy who plays "Mike" in breaking bad has the same style of male resting bitch face and they dressed him in very plain clothes which avoid the 'common criminal' look that he naturally would have

Post: #40

Niiice dude, right away I thought of Ed Norton in the intro to American History X.