Post: #1

Last weekend, I bumped into an ex girlfriend at a show. Literally almost walked right into her. Hadn't seen her for about 5 or 6 years, and it had been about 7 years since we were in a relationship. I was about 16 at that time, now I'm 23. It was the weirdest thing and I was curious to start a conversation. So we talked, discussed the past a bit (I got an apology for her "being a bitch" and breaking up with me in a shitty way, which was amusing), I made sure to give her some intense eye contact for a bit, and it got me thinking...

Back then I was blue as fuck, and I remember how cut up I was over this bitch. Now, all these years later, with a different perspective and everything I've learned, I think to myself...I wouldn't mind another go at that. I know they say you only get one shot, but given the time that's passed and the things I'm now aware of...I'd be curious to see how that might go a second time round. For now I am just going to assume she still likes me or at least finds me attractive. Makes sense.

Am I wasting time and thoughts here?

Post: #2

You broke up for a reason

I'd go for a bang and cut her loose

Post: #3

Can you bang her? Yeah, you can. She's a hot lead that's probably open to familiar cock in a new package.

Should you bang her?

This has less to do with her, than it has to do with you.

Will you backslide to your old set of behaviors?
Chances are high.

WIA

Post: #4

Bang her if it becomes the minimum amount of effort.

BUT let me ask this question:

How exactly did you feel seeing her and talking to her at that moment after 6 years ?

Be honest with yourself.

If it was more of a oh cool seeing you, you'll be fine banging her.

If it was more of a I miss her and all those old memories, I'd stay away from her.

My first post on RVF was about banging an ex:

/thread-34578.html

You might find some insight in it.

Let us know your outcome.

Post: #5

This happened to me recently. Old flame contacted me, we met for sushi, and was back at my place. She was on top of me grinding when she tells me she has a boyfriend followed by "I don't care." I put my hands behind my head and smiled realizing I made one of the smartest decisions in my life dumping this worthless bird..

-CD

Post: #6

I fucked my ex on halloween night after being broken up for a couple months. We were cool in the morning and texting me like we were still together so it wasnt anything out of the ordinary. Then, the next day, she was texting saying things like "never put your hands on me again" and ranted off about stupid things trying to make herself feel better about herself being a huge slut. Funny thing was, she said she loved me the next morning and also gave me a hummer. It's weird how things work.

So, in my opinion, do it. Just make sure you send the security text saying something about having fun and make sure she replies positively. You don't need police to break your door down in the middle of the night basing their reasons on that crack pot's lies.

Post: #7

(03-04-2015 12:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  If it was more of a I miss her and all those old memories, I'd stay away from her.

This is what worries me. I can feel that possibility emerging. Its a time of my life I have a certain nostalgia for, and this girl was as perfect a match I could have dreamed of at the time. The things I liked about her seem to still be in place. Its true that I need to tread carefully but with the right approach it might just be worth a little bit of effort.

Post: #8

(03-05-2015 03:46 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  

(03-04-2015 12:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  If it was more of a I miss her and all those old memories, I'd stay away from her.

This is what worries me. I can feel that possibility emerging. Its a time of my life I have a certain nostalgia for, and this girl was as perfect a match I could have dreamed of at the time. The things I liked about her seem to still be in place. Its true that I need to tread carefully but with the right approach it might just be worth a little bit of effort.

Honestly, I don't know your history with her but if it was me, I'd avoid, I can tell your emotions will get the best of you.

Remember, there IS a reason you've moved on.

WIA's right, chances are high.

If you really think this is a hard DTF lead, tread carefully my friend.

Post: #9

Go for it, and you'll find out how 'red pill' or game aware you are.

Post: #10

I would say go for it - it will be interesting to see how far you have come. You will be acutely aware of who you were then when you were with her and how much you have changed.

I think it is a powerful learning experience. Even if you get hung up on her after the new bang, it will teach you something in the end when you get over her - again.

Long term, great idea. Short term, great idea.

It's the mid-range term that might be tough.

Post: #11

I've been giving this some though and I'm having doubts about consciously pursuing it. Dredging up those old memories is fun, but nostalgia is ultimately a fickle, sometimes fraudulent emotion and for every good memory like this there are another 2 more of the pain from afterwards. I was a fool to let this one girl get so much control over me. I was angry about it for so long, and for around the next 2 years after I couldn't hear her name without getting a slight pang of negativity. The other night in particular my head was swimming with those thoughts and memories and I began to seriously have doubts.

Its almost like I want to prove to her that I'm not the same person as before, that I've grown. Should I even be entertaining that concept? Why should I prove myself to any female? Not only that, but this feels a lot like looking backwards when what I should be doing is looking forwards. On the other hand, experiences like her helped shape the person I am today, and will continue to become.

Now, if something "just happens" at any time in the future I doubt I'll make much effort to stop it. But I am not so sure about this anymore. I guess I just got a bit caught up with it all. She was "the one that got away" more so than any other, and that's a dangerous way to think.

Post: #12

By the way you posted about nostalgia and everything, I'd just avoid her. There are millions of fish in the sea.