Post: #1

My university career started off to a "very" rough start. At the beginning of the year I had to deal with two incredibly disabling medical conditions. I don't think I'll ever be the same again, but I've gotten to about 60% okay, so I'm just trying ot move on.

I'm 27 years old and I've been part of the "game" community since I was 20. To be honest, I'm finding it hard to fit into university life. It seems like college is about making connections and having access to girls, but, to me, it feels kind of different when you're 27 years old. I live on campus and everyone here is 18 to 20. All the college guys are little kids who are struggling with girls, their grades, and just looking to drink heavily. It's true, I do have access to all the 18 to 20 year old girls I want, but I've been part of the community since I was 20; I've always had access to girls. My target demographic for women was always 24 to 35, career oriented, established, life experienced, and artsy. I don't get a lot of that at an university.

Back when I was in community college, I would have a wide variety of friends. Some were still 18 to 20 but they didn't have a college mentality, they had more of a "city" mentality. University kids seem more sheltered. My community college was a 30 minute subway ride to San Francisco. I could play my guitar at an open mic. There were art galleries that would hold events. There were music shows. I would meet people everywhere. From my apartment, the downtown area was only a 20 minute walk. I had pretty good access to a social life. I would work and spend most of my time writing a book. I had a pretty good life at the age I was at.

Now, I'm in college.

I got a few scholarships so everything's pretty much paid for. I share a room with some quiet guy. I eat alone most of the time. I'm usually in and out of the dining hall. On the way to class, I listen to the Pimsleur Program in French. I tried joining a couple frats; not for me. I've had sex with two sorority girls after pretty much having a two minute conversation with them. We didn't exactly make a connection so they pretty much faded out. I've made two or three close friends, and I'm intimate with one of the girls in my social circle. I've made plans to join a summer program that studies in France and also decided to study in Italy for the fall. I've just recently tried to get involved in the French and Italian club so that I could study the language further. I also joined a European social club which is cool. They throw a lot of parties. It's just still the same hanging out with 18 to 20 year olds.

I want to know, "is there something I'm missing?" I hear everywhere that "college is what you make out of it." But, really is this all I could make out of it? I'm really trying to make something out of this experience, but I feel limited. I haven't felt this limited in awhile.

Edit: I'm not asking if I should drop out of college (it's free, there's no reason for me to drop out). I'm asking if there's something I could do to expand my experience in college?

Post: #2

I spread out university over about 8 years, taking regular breaks to work and study Chinese, so I didn't graduate till I was 27.

The problem with being in school, is that with studies to worry about, you can't completely dedicated yourself to making money, so unless you come in with a lot of money, you'll generally be poor, with usually just enough money for beer and a night out every weekend. Not a horrible lifestyle, but you won't be able to enjoy a nicely furnished apartment and nice car and the other benefits that come with being at a point in your life where you have far more money coming in than you need to live (like I am now).

I assume you are doing school with a goal in mind. It also sounds like you aren't suffering. It might not be perfect, but you hardly have a difficult life, just one that is less than ideal.

Make the best of it, graduate and then get on with what you want to achieve next in life.

I was glad to get out when I was 27, because I wanted to start living, just not getting by, but if I was 27 now and still didn't have a degree, I'd put the time in necessary to get one, assuming that I felt that a degree was necessary to my future at that point.

It sucks, but many things in life worth doing aren't easy.

As long as you've calculated that there will be a worthwhile pay off in the future, just stick with it till you're finished.

Post: #3

I'm 27 myself and soon to embark on this same route. Yes, I'm finishing a technical degree to support myself for now, but I'll be going back for a traditional degree while working. Any data sheets or instructionals on this?

Post: #4

I'm completing my 3rd year

Post: #5

I can understand that. I enjoyed undergrad a lot, I went straight through undergrad then to law school and was finished university (7 years of it) when I was 24. By the time I entered law school my interest in the university scene began to fade.

I hardly party when I'm in Canada. When I'm travelling I do but it's pretty rare for me to have more than 2 drinks. It probably happens twice a year and almost always when I'm travelling.

Post: #6

That "something I'm missing" feeling is probably mostly from the movies.

College is 'magical' because its the first taste of freedom for most people, its establishing a sense of self for the first time, and its about sharing all that with other people doing it too.

My first couple years of college were like that, at a large party school - Arizona State. I took a semester off, and when I came back to finish my senior year, there was zero of that magical charm left.

Now, on the brink of finishing law school at 27, at a school with an undergraduate student body - I can see that that is what the magic comes from.

Once the magic is gone - you realize school is just the place you go to get the credential you need to become an authority on a specific thing. It's not about learning - you can do that on your own, and it's not about partying or anything like that - that is just a transition period into adulthood (which could occur anywhere, if with other people doing the same thing).

If that's the feeling your missing buddy, get over it, there are better things in life than "college." Do your work and get out.

Post: #7

Join clubs man. I joined the fly fishing club at my school, it's been awesome.
What are you interested in?

Post: #8

You sound like a cosmopolitan city guy.

You are a tiger in the wrong zoo.

Seriously though. By God, suck it up in the meantime and keep banging sorority chicks.

Post: #9

Its fun when you're young. Sucks after a bit.

Find something you enjoy to pass time.

Post: #10

In my late twenties I had considered joining the military but bascially had this very same concern am I going to fit in with a bunch of 17-21 year olds. Don't get me wrong on occasion I'll party with my gf's younger cousins who are that age group and it's fun every once in a while but your right about the immaturity. After a while it just gets annoying as hell some of the things they think are funny and stuff like that.

When your 18, 19, 21, you feel like an adult you feel grown up but when you hit your late twenties your realize man even at 21 your still a kid.

I would say this. Don't try to fit in with that group, be yourself, do you, and let them adapt to you, your lifestyle, and your way of doing things.

Like you said you realize these kids don't have a clue with girls, are just running around crazy getting shit faced. I have thought about man what if I knew back in college what I know today and had the self confidence in college I have today. I'd be killing it.

Basically I'm saying don't try to fit in with them, do you and I think many people will follow your lead

Post: #11

Please re-read what you wrote here in the context of something being missing when you are 40+:

I got a few scholarships so everything's pretty much paid for. I share a room with some quiet guy. I eat alone most of the time. I'm usually in and out of the dining hall. On the way to class, I listen to the Pimsleur Program in French. I tried joining a couple frats; not for me. I've had sex with two sorority girls after pretty much having a two minute conversation with them. We didn't exactly make a connection so they pretty much faded out. I've made two or three close friends, and I'm intimate with one of the girls in my social circle. I've made plans to join a summer program that studies in France and also decided to study in Italy for the fall. I've just recently tried to get involved in the French and Italian club so that I could study the language further. I also joined a European social club which is cool. They throw a lot of parties. It's just still the same hanging out with 18 to 20 year olds.

Post: #12

OK... so this is a sentiment that is largely part of the human experience - at least in the west.
"Is this all there is?"

You are more mature than your peers which is advantageous for getting something out your studies. You are there to learn and that is clear from your language course/clubs activity. Younger students get more distracted partying and "finding themselves" and academics become a second priority.

Basically you are doing the things I would do if I were to go back (learn more languages + study abroad...).
Do you like playing any sports? If I were in college again I would also join a sports team (like a recreational one) in the sport I like.

Then, every once in a while maybe you can head to the city for a change of scenery - once a month? Once every five weeks? Whatever is manageable without interfering with your work.

Post: #13

Good luck man