Post: #1

Short and sweet version: I'm fairly certain that my GF intentionally chose the one picture (out of 20 or so) in which she looks great and I look bad to increase her status and put her "over" me in the eyes of her friends (95% of the "likes" came from her GF's and beta orbiters). It was our first picture on FB together so mildly important IMO. It pisses me off b/c I'm in the best shape of my life and I know that I look good, but in the picture that errbody now sees it looks like she's dating down, which pisses me off.

Short and sweet question on go-forward action: Should I ignore this? Should I get her back by following suit in a few weeks? Do chicks do this kind of shit if they're insecure about their place in the relationship and maybe I should view it as a compliment in some fucked up way?

Longer version / Disclosure - I was alpha borderline player banged 40+ unique chicks the past 24 months but have turned (by choice) the best of the bunch into a relationship. My first in over 3 years. I'm definitely struggling with this change in my social standing (used to dating a harem, being validated constantly, etc. Now I feel like "all of my eggs are in one basket", I'm fighting the temptation to do beta/clingy shit constantly, etc. etc.

The backstory: Just became Facebook friends as I was waiting for her to do it since that's a girlfriend job. Next comes our first photo together, which obviously was to occur this weekend as we attended a formal event together. We took about 15 photos in various places around this symposium / event hall in formal dress. I saw the pictures as she was initially scanning them and was more or less happy with how I looked.

Fast-forward to yesterday and I see that she has chosen to post the picture of us in which I look the absolute worst. My eyes are 1/3 closed, my jaw is craned in close to my neck, and for some reason my hairline looks like it's receding (the photographer was kneeling for this photo). Kinda worked in that it makes me feel like "holy shit I look horrible in that and what must her friends think?"

Post: #2

Who cares, I highly doubt this is all one big joke on you. She probably just picked the picture that she looked best in.

Post: #3

This doesn't make a lot of sense. Most women I know are very keen on showcasing their bf on facebook in the best possible way. If you look like shit by default she looks like shit in front of her friends too. I agree that she likely just picked the one where she looked good and went with that. At least she didn't crop you out.

Post: #4

Tell her you don't like that picture. What's the problem?

Post: #5

(12-08-2014 12:14 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Should I ignore this? Should I get her back by following suit in a few weeks? Do chicks do this kind of shit if they're insecure about their place in the relationship and maybe I should view it as a compliment in some fucked up way?

Longer version / Disclosure - I was alpha borderline player banged 40+ unique chicks the past 24 months but .....

".. but now i'm asking a bunch of guys I've never met about blah blah something something "insecure about their place in the relationship and maybe " "

Post: #6

Why do you care so much what you look like in a picture on Facebook? What are you, a girl?

Post: #7

(12-08-2014 12:27 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her you don't like that picture. What's the problem?

Exactly. So much can be resolved with simple communication.

Post: #8

Why wouldnt you just tell your girl friend to take it down? Is this the same girl you started dating after a week or something absurdly short like that??

Post: #9

Fair points - I know I suck at relationships, I haven't been in one in forever. I overthink everything. Running a harem was so much better for me but I don't feel like I'd be happy long term. I missed vacations and dinners and having a GF at family/holiday events. I'm in my mid-30's and I want to try to lock a quality younger girl down. This is the chick I picked, I realize that I only post negative shit about her on here but other than these issues she's great. Arguably the hottest girl I've dated seriously and incredible job. Just trying to work past my own deals here. Thanks for the help and feedback.

Post: #10

The big question is why do you have a girl you're banging on your friend's list? I wouldn't even add a wife of 50 years to my shit.

Post: #11

obviously you need to cheat on her with as many women as possible for ruining your facebook reputation with a terrible photograph. do this until you contract an STD, then give your girlfriend the STD, then dump her, and then blackmail her with a sex tape...

or you can just ask her to take the picture down because you dont like it.

Post: #12

(12-08-2014 12:47 PM)Brian Shima Wrote:  Why wouldnt you just tell your girl friend to take it down? Is this the same girl you started dating after a week or something absurdly short like that??

Because that would make me seem insecure and like I pore over Facebook. My go-forward plan is to wait until a better one is up and then tell her "that's more like it - don't ever put a shitty pic of me up again."

Post: #13

"God that's an ugly picture of me, but at least it's one that you look decent in"

Side story: told my girlfriend she was a 7/10 on an attention whorish selfie of hers, she cried and deleted every selfie she had. Just go for her self esteem and it'll fix itself in your favor

Post: #14

Your problem is that you have facebook. One of those bad bitches you smoked in the past two years will find you and air some dirty laundry.

Post: #15

She wouldn't put a picture up if she was embarrassed of you.

At worst there are a bunch of betas wondering how a goofy looking dude is nailing a hot chick.

Bottom line: Unless a Facebook picture is adversely affecting your relationship, who cares? If the picture is affecting your relationship you probably have bigger problems.

Post: #16

(12-08-2014 01:07 PM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  Your problem is that you have facebook. One of those bad bitches you smoked in the past two years will find you and air some dirty laundry.

This is 25% of the reason I closed my facebook. Jilted sluts always posting shit to stir up my girl de jour.

Post: #17

Maybe she didnt think youd care which she chose. If thats the case then just tell her. If she did it on purpose then shes prob just a bitch.

Post: #18

(12-08-2014 12:14 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Short and sweet version: I'm fairly certain that my GF intentionally chose the one picture (out of 20 or so) in which she looks great and I look bad to increase her status and put her "over" me in the eyes of her friends (95% of the "likes" came from her GF's and beta orbiters). It was our first picture on FB together so mildly important IMO. It pisses me off b/c I'm in the best shape of my life and I know that I look good, but in the picture that errbody now sees it looks like she's dating down, which pisses me off.

errbody? Really?

First picture on FB is important?

You need to reset your priorities bud. You're going to lose this girl really fast with this kind of needy mentality.

The MOST reaction you should ever have is the same one that you'd have if your sister or mom or something put up the same type of picture. Along the lines of laughing and giving them a hard time for picking the absolute worst picture of you.

You sound like a junior high school kid in your post. No hate, just trying to point out how ridiculous you're being.

Post: #19

(12-08-2014 02:50 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-08-2014 12:14 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Short and sweet version: I'm fairly certain that my GF intentionally chose the one picture (out of 20 or so) in which she looks great and I look bad to increase her status and put her "over" me in the eyes of her friends (95% of the "likes" came from her GF's and beta orbiters). It was our first picture on FB together so mildly important IMO. It pisses me off b/c I'm in the best shape of my life and I know that I look good, but in the picture that errbody now sees it looks like she's dating down, which pisses me off.

errbody? Really?

First picture on FB is important?

You need to reset your priorities bud. You're going to lose this girl really fast with this kind of needy behavior.

The MOST reaction you should ever have is the same one that you'd have if your sister or mom or something put up the same type of picture. Along the lines of laughing and giving them a hard time for picking the absolute worst picture of you.

You sound like a junior high school kid in your post. No hate, just trying to point out how ridiculous you're being.

Real Talk.

Post: #20

(12-08-2014 01:01 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  "God that's an ugly picture of me, but at least it's one that you look decent in"

Thank you This is why I started the post. A concrete, great way to play it. Kudos - kudos, good sir.

Post: #21

(12-08-2014 02:50 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-08-2014 12:14 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Short and sweet version: I'm fairly certain that my GF intentionally chose the one picture (out of 20 or so) in which she looks great and I look bad to increase her status and put her "over" me in the eyes of her friends (95% of the "likes" came from her GF's and beta orbiters). It was our first picture on FB together so mildly important IMO. It pisses me off b/c I'm in the best shape of my life and I know that I look good, but in the picture that errbody now sees it looks like she's dating down, which pisses me off.

errbody? Really?

First picture on FB is important?

You need to reset your priorities bud. You're going to lose this girl really fast with this kind of needy behavior.

The MOST reaction you should ever have is the same one that you'd have if your sister or mom or something put up the same type of picture. Along the lines of laughing and giving them a hard time for picking the absolute worst picture of you.

You sound like a junior high school kid in your post. No hate, just trying to point out how ridiculous you're being.

Are you cognizant of the fact that I posted this concern anonymously on an internet message forum, and haven't breathed a word of it to her?

Neither she, nor anybody else in my real life is aware that I even KNOW the picture is up, let along give a flying flip about it.

Post: #22

(12-08-2014 03:04 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

(12-08-2014 02:50 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  errbody? Really?

First picture on FB is important?

You need to reset your priorities bud. You're going to lose this girl really fast with this kind of needy mentality.

The MOST reaction you should ever have is the same one that you'd have if your sister or mom or something put up the same type of picture. Along the lines of laughing and giving them a hard time for picking the absolute worst picture of you.

You sound like a junior high school kid in your post. No hate, just trying to point out how ridiculous you're being.

Are you cognizant of the fact that I posted this concern anonymously on an internet message forum, and haven't breathed a word of it to her?

Neither she, nor anybody else in my real life is aware that I even KNOW the picture is up, let along give a flying flip about it.

Yes, I understood that. I edited my original post wording as highlighted in BOLD above because I can see that it wasn't clear. My mistake.

Your concerns are unjustified and pretty irrational which is why I gave you the advice that I did. I think you're upset that I told you this kind of thing is going to make you lose the girl. This wasn't meant as an attack, but a warning I hope you heed.

Post: #23

I wouldn't be 'friends' with my gf on Facebook

Post: #24

Ironic you'd post this on the anniversary of John Lennon's death. Although he's known for his peace-related songs now, a lot of his early songs were all about frustrations with women making him look bad (or "hurting his pride," as the expression went).

This was a theme that ran through a bunch of his early songs like "You Can't Do That," "No Reply," "If I Fell," "Girl" and "Run for Your Life."

Why not post the sarcastic "Girl" on your feed? Other than that, I can't help here and all Lennon could do was write songs about it.

Post: #25

(12-08-2014 12:14 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  I'm fairly certain that my GF intentionally chose the one picture (out of 20 or so) in which she looks great and I look bad to increase her status and put her "over" me in the eyes of her friends (95% of the "likes" came from her GF's and beta orbiters)

You're thinking about this the wrong way (like a woman, no disrespect). The way you look good isn't by looking good, it's by banging the hot chick. The fact that she looks better in the pic raises your value.

You should be happy that she picked the one where she looks the best; all the orbiters are hating on you on the inside and GFs are wondering just how thick your dick is.

C'mon, player.