Post: #1

So, I have a girl coming over to my house for a day two. The day one went ok. I managed to net a make out after hanging at the bar with her for a couple of hours. Sparks didn't fly or anything, but she seemed interested in me. This is cool, considering that I've had more than one girl leave 30 minutes into a date.

Now for my question:

I invited her to my place to watch a movie and have some drinks. She said she's fine with it, but she hits me with this:

"just putting it out there so it's clear. We're hanging out. I'm not coming over to your place to have sex if that's what you were expecting."

I am not exactly proud of my reply, but I said, "that's cool. Seeya tomorrow."

and she replies to this: "ok good I'm looking forward to it."

I know that if a girl brings up sex unsolicited like that, that is can be a good thing because that means she's thinking about fucking. But I think I could have handled that a bit more effectively than i did.

I'd love some input, playas. Thanks.

Post: #2

She is expecting it, you should have said something like "don't worry, I'm not that type of guy" with a smirk. Start off with a makeout then escalate.

Post: #3

Your response sounds fine. I don't see any reason why it needs to be improved.

And I guarantee you, the fact she brought it up unsolicited after making out with you means she's seriously considered fucking. Throw in a careful application of alcohol and all bets are off.

Let us know how it goes.

HSLD

Post: #4

I'd text "good i was afraid of getting taken advantage of. I happened once and it can't happen again"

Post: #5

(12-04-2014 01:42 AM)Fortis Wrote:  But I think I could have handled that a bit more effectively than i did.

I'd love some input, playas. Thanks.

Nah, you did fine. Never take a woman seriously. Try to escalate.

Post: #6

Go get that bang!

Post: #7

I should have explained that a bit better. I asked her via text yesterday, so she's coming over tonight. But yeah, thanks everyone. I'm not particularly worried. I just wanted to confirm something that I had heard. Truthfully, this is the first time a girl has ever said that to me, so I felt a slight bit of pride at the fact that she feels palpable sexual tension, but still wants to come over tonight. Hell yeah.

Post: #8

We're all expecting that +1 in the I-Just-Had-Sex thread - go get it bud

HSLD

Post: #9

(12-04-2014 05:24 AM)XXL Wrote:  I'd text "good i was afraid of getting taken advantage of. I happened once and it can't happen again"

I'm stealing this .

Post: #10

(12-04-2014 04:09 AM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  Your response sounds fine. I don't see any reason why it needs to be improved.

And I guarantee you, the fact she brought it up unsolicited after making out with you means she's seriously considered fucking. Throw in a careful application of alcohol and all bets are off.

Let us know how it goes.

HSLD

That's a really good point HSLD. If a woman brings that up say when we're walking to my place should that be taken as a cue to escalate quicker than normal once back at my place?

The reason I ask is because a couple of months ago I had a drink date with a POF woman and she was interested in my photography. I invited her back to see some of my work and on our way to the car she said "just to be clear we're only looking at photos right?" Fast forward to my place and after we looked at some images on my ipad she jumped up and said "I need to go" and refused to even kiss me.

Not sure if I read the signals wrong and she was expecting me to pounce when we got in or she truly only wanted to see my photos.

Post: #11

(12-04-2014 02:41 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  That's a really good point HSLD. If a woman brings that up say when we're walking to my place should that be taken as a cue to escalate quicker than normal once back at my place?

The reason I ask is because a couple of months ago I had a drink date with a POF woman and she was interested in my photography. I invited her back to see some of my work and on our way to the car she said "just to be clear we're only looking at photos right?" Fast forward to my place and after we looked at some images on my ipad she jumped up and said "I need to go" and refused to even kiss me.

Not sure if I read the signals wrong and she was expecting me to pounce when we got in or she truly only wanted to see my photos.

I'd argue the opposite - if she brings up an objection or hesitation, you should make sure not to jump her as soon as you get in the door, otherwise you'll trigger the ASD right away. I think that the common advice is to wait something like 10-15 min before escalating to allow her to feel comfortable. From what I read above, it sounds like this happened all of a sudden, and she bailed before you could go for it - my inexpert opinion is that she knows what the deal is cause it's happened to her before and she freaked. Two questions: 1) did she have any alcohol at your place, and 2) how long were you looking at pictures on the iPad for?

HSLD

Post: #12

(12-04-2014 03:16 PM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  

(12-04-2014 02:41 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  That's a really good point HSLD. If a woman brings that up say when we're walking to my place should that be taken as a cue to escalate quicker than normal once back at my place?

The reason I ask is because a couple of months ago I had a drink date with a POF woman and she was interested in my photography. I invited her back to see some of my work and on our way to the car she said "just to be clear we're only looking at photos right?" Fast forward to my place and after we looked at some images on my ipad she jumped up and said "I need to go" and refused to even kiss me.

Not sure if I read the signals wrong and she was expecting me to pounce when we got in or she truly only wanted to see my photos.

I'd argue the opposite - if she brings up an objection or hesitation, you should make sure not to jump her as soon as you get in the door, otherwise you'll trigger the ASD right away. I think that the common advice is to wait something like 10-15 min before escalating to allow her to feel comfortable. From what I read above, it sounds like this happened all of a sudden, and she bailed before you could go for it - my inexpert opinion is that she knows what the deal is cause it's happened to her before and she freaked. Two questions: 1) did she have any alcohol at your place, and 2) how long were you looking at pictures on the iPad for?

HSLD

When I'm in this situation (which is pretty often), I just try to make sure the girl is comfortable and try to make an emotional connection, on some level. Talk about travel, your life, her life, but nothing negative. I find having a pet helps get a girl to be more receptive (I have a dog).

Pop in the movie, something lighthearted, but keep chatting. At this point, I usually ask the girl if she's into yoga, and then if she's into massages. No matter what she says, I ask if she'd like a massage. Give her a massage, then make out, and go as far as you can (hopefully get the bang).

I don't have as much experience as some on here, but this general routine works great for me with new girls who don't know me that well. Build comfort, trust, and establish the physical connection indirectly.

Post: #13

I know I should post this in the "I just got laid" thread, but given that this is my first lay since joining rvf, I'll give you guys the update and then head over to IJGL.

She came over, we watched random anime, starting making out about 30 minutes later. She had LMR, but I kept making out, pulling back and making out. Eventually we fucked. Nothing glamorous, but progress is progress. Bonus points: she likes getting choked and slapped. Pretty funny shit. hung out for about an hour later, then she had to get home. I'm pleased.

Post: #14

(12-05-2014 04:42 AM)Fortis Wrote:  I know I should post this in the "I just got laid" thread, but given that this is my first lay since joining rvf, I'll give you guys the update and then head over to IJGL.

She came over, we watched random anime, starting making out about 30 minutes later. She had LMR, but I kept making out, pulling back and making out. Eventually we fucked. Nothing glamorous, but progress is progress. Bonus points: she likes getting choked and slapped. Pretty funny shit. hung out for about an hour later, then she had to get home. I'm pleased.

Nice job bro! Told you you'd do fine. Chicks who love it rough are the best.



HSLD

Post: #15

gg.

Post: #16

(12-04-2014 03:16 PM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  Two questions: 1) did she have any alcohol at your place, and 2) how long were you looking at pictures on the iPad for?

HSLD

When we got to my place I offered her a drink and she looked at me a little suspiciously and said "um, ok". I made her a martini which she had a few sips of. We probably looked at photos on my ipad for 15-20 minutes. She definitely had an awkward manner while back at my place which was a little amusing since she was very flirty at the patio bar we met for drinks at, her DD bolt ons practically busting out of her dress

Post: #17

(12-05-2014 11:12 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

(12-04-2014 03:16 PM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  Two questions: 1) did she have any alcohol at your place, and 2) how long were you looking at pictures on the iPad for?

HSLD

When we got to my place I offered her a drink and she looked at me a little suspiciously and said "um, ok". I made her a martini which she had a few sips of. We probably looked at photos on my ipad for 15-20 minutes. She definitely had an awkward manner while back at my place which was a little amusing since she was very flirty at the patio bar we met for drinks at, her DD bolt ons practically busting out of her dress

Yeah, I would have gone for the kiss earlier, at about the 10min mark. My guess is that she would have reciprocated the kiss, but that she'd throw up massive amounts of ASD if her awkwardness was showing that blatantly beforehand. Then it would have been a coin-toss as to whether you could break through it or not. But you should have at least tried to escalate if she was there for that long.

My read is that she knew what was up and has had that game played on her before. In all likelihood, I don't think you would have gotten it regardless of whether or not you tried to move in on her. Gotta charge it to the game sometimes.

HSLD

Post: #18

(12-05-2014 04:42 AM)Fortis Wrote:  I know I should post this in the "I just got laid" thread, but given that this is my first lay since joining rvf, I'll give you guys the update and then head over to IJGL.

She came over, we watched random anime, starting making out about 30 minutes later. She had LMR, but I kept making out, pulling back and making out. Eventually we fucked. Nothing glamorous, but progress is progress. Bonus points: she likes getting choked and slapped. Pretty funny shit. hung out for about an hour later, then she had to get home. I'm pleased.

Good job

"We're not having sex"... they all say that.