Post: #26

Don't listen to the people that start recommending Viagra and Cialis. You seem like a young guy, you really wanna start using that shit?

Shit like this happens to all of us, don't let it get to you and keep plowing.

Post: #27

(11-17-2014 09:00 PM)FretDancer Wrote:  Don't listen to the people that start recommending Viagra and Cialis. You seem like a young guy, you really wanna start using that shit?

Shit like this happens to all of us, don't let it get to you and keep plowing.

Therein lies the problem. When performance anxiety rears its head, it's not a matter of simply willing ourselves to rise to the occasion. Also, age only tends to become a factor in cases of "real ED". This type is psychological and can happen at any age.

For the guys that are susceptible (me included) it's about being proactive about these things with a new chick, and when it comes down to 2 possible outcomes - getting the bang through pharmaceutical aid...or not getting the bang at all (and more than likely losing face and the chick), it's a no brainer.

I'm not talking about continued abuse here either, just an insurance measure for the first time around, when anxiety is most present.

Post: #28

(11-17-2014 07:53 PM)StrikeBack Wrote:  He should do exactly that, but it takes time for his subconscious to truly believe it. I know where he's coming from: he's an Asian international student in a Western country and he's on the shorter side. He'd have never seen with his own eyes any similar guy with a white girl, and the whole society would tell him he can't score such a girl unless he pays. There bounds to be some anxiety the first few times, then he'll believe that he can. All part of a normal progress for his background.

Strikeback got me by the balls

Yes I got the girl through tight game and tremendous effort and still I was shocked by it. Not only me but everyone else. When I was dancing and making out with her in the club every fucking body was looking at us with wild eyes and dropped jaws. Some guys eye-high fiving me. Morning after we are in the metro, kissing and she is resting on my shoulder people were looking as if the president is riding the metro.

I've seen Asian guys with white girls before in France, but the guys are usually 1-2 point above the girls. And they are at least 6"4, with one exception.

I'm getting Viagra and Cialis like you guys asked. Hope Cialis is available in France. I'm young and healthy and usually my sex lasts 1-2 hour of erection with my girlfriend. But I will not let this incident happen again.

Another question: if girls sweet talk, get physically affectionate, and do a lot of PDA with you, can that say anything about her personality/type? Usually the girls I lay are quite shy even after sex, they just cuddle up and let me do whatever but they rarely initiate. This girl however loved caressing me and kissing me all over. Is that behavior typical of a certain type?

Man, so much to learn after just one near-bang. Thanks ya all

EDIT: typing all this from my girlfriend's house. I was a bit depressed today and she bought me food, took care of me and gave oral sex. I'm going to burn in hell, but so be it....

Post: #29

(11-17-2014 09:27 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  

(11-17-2014 09:00 PM)FretDancer Wrote:  Don't listen to the people that start recommending Viagra and Cialis. You seem like a young guy, you really wanna start using that shit?

Shit like this happens to all of us, don't let it get to you and keep plowing.

I'm not talking about continued abuse here either, just an insurance measure for the first time around, when anxiety is most present.

So he starts using the pills, gets a massive erection that lasts 3 hours and bangs like 5 times. "Problem Solved".

He feels like he doesn't need to take pill again, since the anxiety is over. Then comes another girl and thoughts like "I don't have pill this time, will I be able to perform?, or will it be a disaster like that time?" start coming. Anxiety is back again, same thing happens, no bang.

Rinse and repeat until he finally decides to just use the pills every time there might be a chance for sex.

If getting your game so tight took you so much effort like you say, what makes you think performing well in the sack won't or should not?

Post: #30

Happened to me the other night and I had to pull some depraved hail mary stunts to save my ass. Trust me, you'll be saying "I am never whacking off again" after the first time you can't get it up for actual sex.

Amazed to see how common this is in younger guys hearing all your experiences. It's so weird, usually I walk around with half a hard-on most of the day just from looking at random girls, and then to be in bed with one ready to go and not be able to get it up is one of the most maddening things ever.

I think there's something to what Travesty said about the second time being easier because anxiety's gone, because the second time with said girl above I had no problems.

Post: #31

(11-17-2014 12:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Thanks a lot for all the input guys, eases my mind a ton. Jesus I was sitting on fire all day in class today.

I dont really care about the girl, I just want my white notch and I guess I was too consumed by that mentality which led to ED.

I'm seeing her this Wed at class. And we re all going to a party this Thursday. Should I suggests going back to my place after the party before Thursday, or just do it on the spot toward the end of the party that night? This is important logistics

If you can bang her "well" at the party than do it, but where are you going to get a room? You could also mention during the party that your keeping your drinking in check and give her a wink or whatever. Not sure that's necessary though.

In one way she might be eager to give it another go to see if she can get you hard and feel validated.

(11-17-2014 12:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  A bit of a red flag: she asks me not to let people see us together in class because she is shy. My ass. Have the suspicion she asked that so she could still go with other men. But at the moment I just said "It will be our little secret" because I thought it would lessen the drama and red light from other girls.

Yeah, good eye on seeing the flag. She's probably a player just like you. Just have fun playing.

(11-17-2014 12:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Should I ignore and start marking her as mine in public? And if she doesn't comply? I want this bang.

Why the hell would you do that? She wants anonymity. You will lose the bang if you try to make it public. Also you want anonymity too at this point. Bang her and see how it goes. Make her be the one to push for being public and exclusive.

(11-18-2014 03:12 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Another question: if girls sweet talk, get physically affectionate, and do a lot of PDA with you, can that say anything about her personality/type? Usually the girls I lay are quite shy even after sex, they just cuddle up and let me do whatever but they rarely initiate. This girl however loved caressing me and kissing me all over. Is that behavior typical of a certain type?

It may be she's the type that's comfortable being in feeling. Nothing wrong with that and more fun to be with than the girls who are not, in my opinion.

It also may be that she's the type that "connects quickly" with others, but also moves on at warp speed when it's over.

It's a flag, but not a red one. Just one that gives you insight into her personality.

Like everyone else said, you had too much anxiety with the white pedestalizing, feeling like you hit the lottery, not wanting to fuck things up, with a dash of fault for cheating.

You will get through it and this white girl is probably anxious to get her Asian flag too!

Post: #32

(11-18-2014 05:20 AM)iamdegaussed Wrote:  I think there's something to what Travesty said about the second time being easier because anxiety's gone, because the second time with said girl above I had no problems.

I m not taking any chances. What if there s no second time? Yes to abundance mentality but getting the girl is hard enough, letting her slip away because you cant get hard is ridiculous and just reek of bad preparation.

Post: #33

(11-18-2014 04:59 AM)FretDancer Wrote:  

(11-17-2014 09:27 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  

(11-17-2014 09:00 PM)FretDancer Wrote:  Don't listen to the people that start recommending Viagra and Cialis. You seem like a young guy, you really wanna start using that shit?

Shit like this happens to all of us, don't let it get to you and keep plowing.

I'm not talking about continued abuse here either, just an insurance measure for the first time around, when anxiety is most present.

So he starts using the pills, gets a massive erection that lasts 3 hours and bangs like 5 times. "Problem Solved".

He feels like he doesn't need to take pill again, since the anxiety is over. Then comes another girl and thoughts like "I don't have pill this time, will I be able to perform?, or will it be a disaster like that time?" start coming. Anxiety is back again, same thing happens, no bang.

Rinse and repeat until he finally decides to just use the pills every time there might be a chance for sex.

If getting your game so tight took you so much effort like you say, what makes you think performing well in the sack won't or should not?

A healthy male shouldn't have to take pills every time. If you're having trouble, talk to your doctor about...

What you're referring to is a self confidence issue. If taking a pill once in a while is destroying your self confidence to that extent, it's not the pill's fault.

It's worth having a stash on hand for times when you know you aren't going to be up for a particular event. You can use but not abuse. Recently I knew I was going to be in for a marathon weekend, so I popped a tadalafil just to be sure, and to ensure maximum enjoyment. It was well worth it.

And when it's all said and done,

Post: #34

Hey man, this happened to me once. I had to work out some stuff that was stressing me out at work first and the little guy sprang back into action like a jack in the box. Okay, bad example. The point is that it was just a psychological problem.

I'd be careful of going to OTC pharma drugs for help without trying to a) give it time b) talk to a therapist or priest or something (about stress in your life, not your dick) c) Going to a doctor

Post: #35

You're in your 20s, right?

You do not need dick pills.

It is a purely psychological issue that can be dealt with through controlling your mind.

Post: #36

She just sent me a message on facebook.

That "it was a mistake and all since she just broke up with her boyfriend not long ago, and that she isnt sure if she is ready to be with another guy. She doesn't know me enough to be with me. That she had fun and it wasn't my fault blabla"

Why am I not surprised? Everything bad that can happen will happen at the worst possible moment.

What should I do now guys? I'm in way over my head to think of a proper response.

Post: #37

Dude your to focused on one girl, just tell her you want to talk about everything over drinks and try for a round two. You will scare her off even if you get it though.....

Post: #38

It's over, ignore her.

Post: #39

(11-18-2014 04:11 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  She just sent me a message on facebook.

That "it was a mistake and all since she just broke up with her boyfriend not long ago, and that she isnt sure if she is ready to be with another guy. She doesn't know me enough to be with me. That she had fun and it wasn't my fault blabla"

Why am I not surprised? Everything bad that can happen will happen at the worst possible moment.

What should I do now guys? I'm in way over my head to think of a proper response.

No one really knows for sure what's going on with her, but she's probably feeling some regret for being slutty. Most girls do.

She may be into you, she may be done with you. No one can know for sure and she probably doesn't know either, but you don't need to know. You're reaction should be the same regardless.

I see a couple approaches.

Take her seriously: "I understand. We should get to know each other more. How about we get together for a coffee and chat?"

Don't take her seriously: "You're mistakes are fun to be around. Let me know when your ready to make another one."

I would opt for the latter. Humor is always the best cure for seriousness. After all she didn't throw a bag of puppies over a bridge, so why all the drama?

I bet she would be grateful you didn't let her take herself too seriously. Of course don't tell her she's being too serious. You do it indirectly through humor.

You're best shot of banging her is not being needy or pushy or serious. Just be fun, have fun and make her feel comfortable that she can experiment (make mistakes) with you whenever she feels like it and at whatever level she feels like without worrying about you getting all beta or serious on her.

If she laughs at your humorous response, than that's a good sign and just keep running standard game on her as you have been.

If she instead dismisses it and tries even harder to make you buy into the seriousness of it all than you can either eject or take her seriously be empathizing, agreeing, and all the rest with the hopes you can get the bang later on.

Post: #40

The dick pill in the wallet thing is just a psychological insurance measure. Likely he will never have to use it (not until he's much older anyway).

As for her FB message: you're throwing her too much BF vibe, which makes her feel like a slut the next morning for jumping in bed with another guy too soon. Don't worry, it's typical woman BS post-party and alcohol.

I like the non-serious approach here:

Quote:Don't take her seriously: "You're mistakes are fun to be around. Let me know when your ready to make another one."

But maybe I'd go for something more proactive as if you misread her message, don't take her seriously and think she wants to meet again:

"I know, mistakes and faults spice up our lives so much eh? Guilty Let's meet over drinks to talk about them, {time and place with good logistics}"

Whatever you write her, you gotta lead the next move. Unless she's some stone cold lady psychopath, she's a typical emotional woman who's all over the place at the moment and needs YOU to decide for her what to do next. What is she telling you? She's not sure, she doesn't know, she feels conflicted. That's not someone who knows what she's doing. Don't put the ball in her court.

Post: #41

I agree with StrikeBack, you need to make another move on her and his suggestion in pushing for another date in the first response might work.

Personally, I wouldn't do that. I would wait and let her hamster cool off before trying again. Just a couple days and since you said you'll see her at a party on Thursday that's a great time to go for it again.

The timing of it all is quite perfect actually.

Post: #42

(11-18-2014 06:09 PM)Onto Wrote:  I agree with StrikeBack, you need to make another move on her. I wouldn't do it in the response though. I would wait and let her hamster cool off before trying again. Just a couple days and since you said you'll see her at a party on Thursday that's a great time to go for it again.

The timing of it all is quite perfect actually.

Im actually seeing her tomorrow in class, in France's time its in 12 h. Whatever Ill just tease her a bit about it and suggest meeting during the day, or just talk to her briefly and go for it again on Thursday?

Post: #43

(11-18-2014 06:15 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(11-18-2014 06:09 PM)Onto Wrote:  I agree with StrikeBack, you need to make another move on her. I wouldn't do it in the response though. I would wait and let her hamster cool off before trying again. Just a couple days and since you said you'll see her at a party on Thursday that's a great time to go for it again.

The timing of it all is quite perfect actually.

Im actually seeing her tomorrow in class, in France's time its in 12 h. Whatever Ill just tease her a bit about it and suggest meeting during the day, or just talk to her briefly and go for it again on Thursday?

You can do both.

Post: #44

(11-18-2014 06:15 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(11-18-2014 06:09 PM)Onto Wrote:  I agree with StrikeBack, you need to make another move on her. I wouldn't do it in the response though. I would wait and let her hamster cool off before trying again. Just a couple days and since you said you'll see her at a party on Thursday that's a great time to go for it again.

The timing of it all is quite perfect actually.

Im actually seeing her tomorrow in class, in France's time its in 12 h. Whatever Ill just tease her a bit about it and suggest meeting during the day, or just talk to her briefly and go for it again on Thursday?

..or if things go smoothly try for today just after class or arrange to watch tv or something at your or her place later in the evening? Failing that go for tomorrow Thursday as a back up. Can you arrange to go with her to the party tomorrow Thursday? That way it would seem more natural to leave the party with her as well.

Post: #45

Maybe I'm just a devious motherfucker, but this seems like a better angle:

1. No response.

2. Right after class catch her and say, "hey, come here, walk with me"

3. Tell her "hey, I saw your message. Don't worry about what I think of you, we got ahead of ourselves, that's probably why my dick called a time out. We'll just hang out and keep having fun and see where that leads us. It's not a big deal...now [and change the subject here]"

NOTE: This way you kind of make it her fault and at the same time aren't judging her and alleviating her feeling that she was pressured or unsure of herself/worrying herself.

4. Either then or in the near future setup a meetup (or just ask if she's still going to the party or whatnot...tell her you and her are playing beer pong or some other minimal investment fun activity). Game/bang!

Post: #46

Not to be flip but the best answer to these types of questions is always : NEXT!

Post: #47

^ I agree, I think you've lost this one.

It's really no big deal. I drink a lot, so it happens to me loads, even with regulars (I usually get a ridiculous hard-on by morning though). If I was in your situation, I'd have tried to keep the momentum and got her out for brunch and drinks and back to yours again, or failing that a couple of drinks that evening. I think you made it into too much of a thing in your head, and she probably sensed your embarrassment over it and didn't find it attractive.

You really need to put it behind you and move on, otherwise you'll build it into a big thing and it will start happening more frequently. Also, you should think about how you can act in future if it does happen again, lighten the mood by joking about it, blame her for getting you drunk, use it for a sexual barrier and tell her all the ways you'd fuck her brains out if only you had a hard on, and then finger fuck the life out of her.

As for the rest of the social circle, if it comes out just own it. Pretty much my whole social circle know even my most embarrassing stories, because I told them.

Post: #48

Regarding the ED issue, I have been having these kinds of issues for the past 5 years or so, and so far, I have NOT taken any dick pills - even though I am tempted.

In my 20s and 30s, I could orgasm 2-3 times in a day and NOT really have a problem getting another erection. In my 40s, it becomes a problem to get an erection after having had sex.

I posted a little bit about one of my recent experiences here:

/thread-30-pos...#pid886115


Foreplay can be a solution. Sometimes the girl can help by her foreplay, such as licking me or my neck or my ears or something like that. Other times, I can cause myself more arousal by licking her all over.

If there are some psychological issues of performance anxiety, then maybe foreplay could help with that too.

Regarding a girl's telling you that she has second thoughts or buyer's remorse or thoughts that the relationship is progressing too quickly: I agree that you can both joke about it and go along with it. Surely, there can be different approaches, but I find few real problems to acknowledge that yeah maybe we went a little too fast, but sometimes it is difficult to hold back feelings and to act on them we can take it a little slower.. but I really like you, etc. etc. Then just proceed to escalate - girls like to do this to allow the situation to progress further, and she really seems to be indicating that she is interested in going further even when she is saying that we went too far (otherwise she would NOT be telling you this).

Regarding nexting: sometimes it is good to move on without burning bridges. Therefore, you can create other options and potentially this option will come available again, but if a girl sees that you are moving on, sometimes it may cause her to work harder to keep you.

Post: #49

First off don't make a big deal over this. Most men experience this although it is rarely admitted. Paradoxically it happens more with a hot girl. It is performance anxiety. In terms of damage control, proceed as if you gave the performance of a lifetime. Girls usually blame themselves in these situations, questioning their attractiveness and failure to turn you on.

Good advice on ED pills. I'm partial to Viagra generic.

Post: #50

Dick pills should not be necessary for a young guy. The only thing they do is improve circulation to small blood vessels in areas like your junk. There's a reason the ads keep warning about low blood pressure and feeling faint -if you combine that with a Viagra you could pass out.

Performance anxiety can happen, but its more likely when in combination with something like too much alcohol, ecstasy or something else.

Now that I'm in my 40s, if I know the night could run late I will stick to beer for two reasons. Less alcohol (so long as you avoid the strong brews) and they take longer to drink. Three beers instead of three martinis will keep you focused and ready a hell of a lot better.

I still do not need dick pills but I'm a lean guy who exercises regularly and always have. The primary market for dick pills is the average (meaning overweight) and out of shape American cheeseburger-breath prole who can't see his own dick without using a mirror. Remember too, most of those guys are married to boner-killing fat broads who couldn't arouse a recently released parolee. Sometimes it ain't the guy's fault he can't perform for an unattractive audience - but that doesn't sound like your problem. For now focus on other things besides pharmaceuticals. I don't know for sure, but I would be surprised if the late, great Jack Lalanne ever needed Viagra or Cialis.

That said, it could be a psychological booster for you to have one in your wallet and pop it if you're feeling nervous, just in case. The placebo effect could push you over the top.

I agree with most people at this point - she's history and you need to move on. As for picking up multiple women via the same club/dance class you need to be careful not to shit where you eat. Try different watering holes next time.