Post: #1

Guys I need help.

TL; DR version: finally landed a girl I really really like and dick didn't work. Girl is in the same circle where I hit on a lot of girls. And I'm in a LTR so I'm cheating.

Full version:

Good news first: I finally pick-up my first white girl, and a solid 7.5 at that. Totally my type, petite but huge ass and boobs, soft skin and cute face. Nice smart girl that can hold a conversation. The date went exceptionally well, dancing and making out passionately. No problem venue changed to my house.

Bad news 1: my fucking dick didn't work. Yes, this guy who is proud of being able to get multiple long erections per night, choose exactly the night when it matters most to not fucking work.

We were foreplaying passionately and ripping each other clothes out, it felt like we re making love not just having sex, but my fucking dick did not work. I had to pull out all the tricks with tongues and finger. She was totally understanding, "it's ok. I really like what you did to me". Lots of cuddling and swooning after.

Morning she was too tired so i didn't want to try again. The passion was still there (constant make out in the subway, walking hand in hand and all that)

I really like to see her again and though she seems to reciprocate, I felt like me not dicking it up was a disaster. I've always relied on excellent performance to keep girls around. This time I don't know what to do.

Bad news 2: I met her in salsa where I hit on all the girls. She is new and didn't know that, but I'm afraid word will spread from the other girls and that will drive her away. She wants to keep it quiet at first.

Bad news 3: hit me on the head with the heaviest thing you got, but I was already in a relationship with an excellent girl (was too busy last summer so I said yeah why not). I felt like this is bad karma crushing down my dick. My girlfriend also lives near my place.

I need help and advice mostly on how to see this girl again. I'm beta-ing out for no reason it seems, but I do want to keep seeing her. This also means taking care of bad news 2.

And can anyone explain why the fuck didn't my dick work? I drank a bit but it has never been a problem. Do I need to stock up some viagra just in case?

Post: #2

Next time have a small backup supply of Cialis or Viagra for times like this. Go to the bathroom and half when you think it's going to happen. Confucius say: it's better to have a boner and not get laid than to try and get laid without a boner. If you can get your hands on the fast acting generic gel even better.

Not trying to be too down on you but not sealing the deal is pretty bad. A lot of girls will be too embarassed or lose respect to try again unless they really like you a lot. I'm sure it's happened to everyone at least once though. Happened to me once after I got real shit faced years ago and learned my lesson. Plus this is kind of a social circle pull. Tread carefully.

Post: #3

(11-17-2014 05:04 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  Not trying to be too down on you but not sealing the deal is pretty bad. A lot of girls will be too embarassed or lose respect to try again unless they really like you a lot. I'm sure it's happened to everyone at least once though. Happened to me once after I got real shit faced years ago and learned my lesson. Plus this is kind of a social circle pull. Tread carefully.

Goddamn it I know.

All this fucking work to perfect game and better yourself, and when you fucking need it the most you get fucked in the ass by some random shitty bad luck.

Any chance at doing damage-control?

Post: #4

Maintain frame bro, you're still the shit. She's not the one, because there is no One.

I think you've lost her, though. Radio silence unless she initiates.

Edit: what cheetah said - wait a week and restart, for sure

Post: #5

I doubt that it is bad luck, it had probably more to do with that you maybe weren't as relaxed as usual because you 'really really' liked her. If you feel pressured to perform (a girl you really like, you might just get this shot at it) this is a recipe for not performing as good as usual.

As has been said have a viagra, cialis or levitra at hand. The thought of just being able to get one probably helps alot and worst case scenario take a pill and do a 20-30 minute foreplay until the effect starts to kick in.

You tried to do her but didn't. That is much better than her wanting it but you never try for it. Act like it was no big deal and try to meet her again in a way that you can get a second shot. I don't think that she will refuse you a second try. However if you act like she shouldn't give you a second try she probably won't as well.

Post: #6

Thanks for the support guy.

No she is not the One, I'm way over that a long time ago. This is more about me getting really frustrated and angry since laying a quality white girl has long been my objective since entering game, and I feel like I've been robbed of my milestone.

But Cheetah I totally see how it could be due to pressure. Goes to show how inner game is everything.

I was totally cool about it, just made a slight joke about "i shouldn't have drunk that much". Didn't even mention it again and the girl was still quite warm this morning. But I've lost girl at causes much more ridiculous, so no guarantee.

Guess I just keep frame and game for a second date as usual. However I'm afraid that with my raging inner game right now bad game will leak out.

Post: #7

Abundance mentality Dalaran, abundance mentality..

Besides, as long as you don't act needy why shouldn't you get a second try? She wanted it before, why would that have changed?

This should by the way be in the newbie section.

Post: #8

Heh this does bring back some memories...

Many years ago the same thing happened to me with the very first white girl I landed through dancing circles (and I was also sort of cheating on this Viet girl I was seeing at the same time). Combination of alcohol and performance anxiety, it's actually common, everyone's had that experience. I was a champ with getting her off though. Acted like nothing happened and the second time around we had a marathon session, multiple shots on goal until the next morning.

Look, if you act like you fucked up and are gonna lose her, guess what... it will be a reality. Just act irrationally confident like it is nothing to you.

Post: #9

(11-17-2014 06:27 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  No she is not the One, I'm way over that a long time ago. This is more about me getting really frustrated and angry since laying a quality white girl has long been my objective since entering game, and I feel like I've been robbed of my milestone.

You'll figure out the tactics and lay or not lay, either way. And have an abundance of chicks in your future. Your thread title says "oneitis" Why invest so much emotional energy in a woman? Invest it in yourself, like you already have been, with great results! You'll have a harem of girls even better than this one.

Post: #10

dejavu Dalaran, IMO the problem was purely Psychological like ED in most young guys is.

It happened to me too 2 yrs ago where I couldn't get it up for a 20 yr Old Student I think the same thing happened to you too that this girl is so hot and you are about to get the best nut of your life and your mind got all wound up.

Like others said, think you are the shit and get bangs like these all the time.

Strong work and keep it up

Post: #11

I don't know, based on your story I think she'll give you another chance. Girls are more understanding of this than guys think.

Chris from Good Looking Loser addressed this and his observation was solid:

- An inexperienced girl may conclude it's her fault for not getting you hard or being attractive enough.
- It's highly likely an experienced girl has seen this before because it happens far more often than guys like to admit.

Either way, unless she’s worried about the other hens in the circle you’re likely to get one more shot. Definitely pursue her. If she's good to go you better make her squirt to squash any potential impotence rumors in your circle. You might want to take something to make sure that rumor never gets off the ground lol

Post: #12

What were you thinking during the foreplay?
Were you thinking "this girl is so amazing... its so awesome shes in my bed now.. oh no what if I can't satisfy her... oh no my dick isn't working!"?
Or, were you thinking "I am going to render ape-like sexual destruction upon this hot fertile little slut, and empty my balls deep into her womb"*

You must use the latter mentality, not the former. You must awaken the ape.


*Disclaimer, not saying you should actually do this Just think whatever gets you off.

Post: #13

Like Lothario says, it is likely to be a psychological issue. That does not mean you should let it get to you though.

Is it possible you had some guilt or apprehension about cheating? The ethical aspect isn't relevant, most people have 'cheated' at one point or another. What is relevant is how your mind tried to dictate the situation. You can control that. There are people here who can articulate the process better than I could so if you feel that is the area to adjust, you'll be OK here.

Post: #14

It happens mate don't over think it. Try nofap, relax next time, in case I would buy some back up viagra though. Really don't worry about it.

If she starts getting nasty and telling people you can just get nasty back. Its a small thing.

Post: #15

Did you have her try to stroke or suck you? That worked for me when I dealt with a similar situation.

Post: #16

Thanks a lot for all the input guys, eases my mind a ton. Jesus I was sitting on fire all day in class today.

I dont really care about the girl, I just want my white notch and I guess I was too consumed by that mentality which led to ED.

I'm seeing her this Wed at class. And we re all going to a party this Thursday. Should I suggests going back to my place after the party before Thursday, or just do it on the spot toward the end of the party that night? This is important logistics

A bit of a red flag: she asks me not to let people see us together in class because she is shy. My ass. Have the suspicion she asked that so she could still go with other men. But at the moment I just said "It will be our little secret" because I thought it would lessen the drama and red light from other girls.

Should I ignore and start marking her as mine in public? And if she doesn't comply? I want this bang.

Post: #17

Did you put your cock in or around her mouth? If not then .... why not. An if so and you still didn't get a erection you had some serious mental blockage that night.

It was more then likely just the perfect storm of nervous excitement, little guilt cause you were cheating, first white girl adds pressure I'm sure, the alcohol, ect....

It wont happen again unless you psyce yourself out and put to much pressure on yourself.

Post: #18

You're getting some very solid advice here.

First off: Nothing is wrong with your dick. It happens to everybody.

I remember reading a famous essay in college by Montaigne, a French writer from the 1500's, about this exact problem. It's called "On the Power of the Imagination", and is worth a read, if just to remind yourself that this has been happening to dudes for hundreds if not thousands of years.

I second the Viagra in the wallet advice. It will provide you with a mental safety net, and since this is a mental problem that's likely all you need. If you can get one, I'd suggest popping it before you see this girl again. That way you can have total confidence to bang her through the wall. And in my experience once you've fucked a girl good, the pressure is off.

Post: #19

That's probably Performance Anxiety, the key is "just relax", but it's easier said than done. I also second the idea of popping a small blue pill before taking her to your place. After a few bangs, the stress will be gone, and you will see it as just another day at work.

Post: #20

There are a number of medications that can prevent you from getting it up at times.

From http://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/dis...n_Overview
diuretics
antihypertensives
antihistamines
antidepressants
Parkinson's disease drugs
antiarrhythmics
tranquilizers
muscle relaxants
nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs
histamine H2-receptor antagonists
hormones
chemotherapy medications
prostate cancer drugs
anti-seizure medications

Post: #21

(11-17-2014 12:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I dont really care about the girl, I just want my white notch and I guess I was too consumed by that mentality which led to ED.

I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you or anything but it might be better if you stop concentrating on race so much too. It seems that you're pedestalizing the fact that she's white a lot. This probably creates all sorts of personal anxiety and other issues.

It's just another piece of pussy, nothing more nothing less.

Post: #22

Get Cialis.

I often drink heavily with the chick for first bangs.

If I like the chick alot I get anxiety that adds to whiskey dick.

I went out and got a prescription for Cialis. I cut a half pill and take 30 min. - 1 hour before a first bang if I think I need it.

I never take past the first bang as all anxiety disappears even if I'm really into the chick.

Works wonders.

Post: #23

A lot of the chicks I've been with can't come for one reason or another , I think 20% or more have NEVER had an orgasm. The wilder ones often come reliably but the intensity varies, so most women totally understand not being a sex machine.

I'm in my 50s have erectile dysfunction often. I just moved to a new country with totally different climate, culture and lifestyle and that's a huge amount of stress which takes a long time to absorb.

I use viagra/cialis regularly. I avoid embarrassing situations by just building up to intercourse slow, if 'm tired or run down and not getting really hard I just don't take it out and try to fuck her. They usually aren't clawing at me saying "fuck me fuck me" loll.

Get ready for middle age, everything conspires against you-- and eventually wins at your death. You recover from workouts slower, so any disturbance in your routine sometimes makes you too tired to work out. You gain weight. Your telomeres are shortening.

notice how there's hardly any posters here over 55, they don't want to talk about things like this.

There's two fantasies possibly at work here. You're cheating on a girlfriend and don't seem to think it has any effect, and the other is that you're going to be a infallible sex machine forever.

Post: #24

i would go for viagra over cialis, but you may ultimately want to experiment with both(just not at the same time). I take the viagra on an empty stomach about 15 minutes before I need it, or basically I pop a pill after getting her panties off and then go down on her until I am fully erect. viagra really is a wonder drug.(i get the generic equivalent because it is so much cheaper, but works exactly the same)

there are threads about this already

Post: #25

(11-17-2014 07:08 PM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

(11-17-2014 12:20 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I dont really care about the girl, I just want my white notch and I guess I was too consumed by that mentality which led to ED.

I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you or anything but it might be better if you stop concentrating on race so much too. It seems that you're pedestalizing the fact that she's white a lot. This probably creates all sorts of personal anxiety and other issues.

It's just another piece of pussy, nothing more nothing less.

He should do exactly that, but it takes time for his subconscious to truly believe it. I know where he's coming from: he's an Asian international student in a Western country and he's on the shorter side. He'd have never seen with his own eyes any similar guy with a white girl, and the whole society would tell him he can't score such a girl unless he pays. There bounds to be some anxiety the first few times, then he'll believe that he can. All part of a normal progress for his background.